Title: Save Your Breath III: What I've Done

Characters: Hellion, X-23, and the New Mutants + Hellions squads

Universe: 616 pre-M-Day

Summary: Picks up where save your breath II: I know what you did last summer left off. Hellion has to live with what he's done, and his life begins to fall apart around his ears-and X-23 blames herself.

TITLE NOTE: Named after the Linkin Park song 'What I've Done' (distorted remix).

-1-

"Laura, what the hell are you doing?"

The girl turned at the door, her hand on the knob. "I…"

Julian Keller was standing on the staircase, his arms folded and his hair rumpled from sleep. He was wearing a nightshirt and boxer shorts; however, Laura was entirely dressed, and she had a backpack on her shoulder.

She lowered her gaze. "I cannot stay. You know this, but what you've seen is only a fraction of what the facility can do. I cannot put you at risk. I—"

"No. Get upstairs. You can't leave," he said, his voice hoarse. "I can't believe you'd even consider leaving. Laura…"

She bowed her head. "They will find me. They will find you, because…the information was passed along. I am certain of this."

"So?" He looked unconvinced. "I don't give a rat's ass about them 'finding' us. We got out alive…and…Kimura…" he left his sentence unfinished. "You said she was the bad one. If we beat her, they've got nothing on us."

"Julian…please," Laura said, twisting the door knob. "Please, understand."

"You don't care about me, do you?" he asked suddenly, his voice sharp.

Silence.

"You do not understand," Laura said again. "I am leaving because I care."

"That's a lie." Julian glared at her. "Fine, go…and show me that I was wrong."

"Wrong?" Laura asked.

"To kill for you," he said, out loud, the shadow that had been hanging over him ever since they'd returned from their summer vacation. "If you actually gave a damn about me, you wouldn't leave me alone…to deal with that."

"I have always been alone," Laura pointed out.

"That needs to stop," Julian said, like he always seemed to. "I need you to stay. Every time I look at you…I think I did the right thing. I know I did the right thing. But…if you're not here…" he left the sentence dangling.

"You will be safer." Laura opened the door and stepped outside, leaving the boy in the foyer, his mouth open in disbelief as the door closed in his face.

Outside, Laura was reminded that it was raining; however, she did not have an umbrella. She sighed and headed down the pavement. It would be a long walk, as she did not want to take a vehicle from the institute that she could not return.

She stopped, puzzled, and touched her eyes. They were wet, but it was not rain; the liquid was warm, in contrast to the cold. They were tears, something she'd had an excess of only a few times in her life.

Laura looked back at the institute door, about two hundred meters away. He was no longer on the other side, having stormed up the stairs (his footsteps loud enough as to be audible to her) and slammed his door, even though it was 2 AM.

She sniffled, took a few more steps, then turned around and headed back the way she had come.

A few minutes later found her curled against his side, drying her eyes on his t-shirt and soaking his bed with the rain her clothing had absorbed. No words had been spoken, but his stormy expression had dissipated at seeing her open his door, and had given away to a small smile.

…

It was now autumn, and the Hellions had returned from their summer vacation at Julian Keller's property in California—and their misadventurous run-in with the facility that continuously plagued Laura Kinney, the small, silent, female clone of Wolverine (the surly male original).

Laura found herself taking comfort in the routine of class once again, having found that Summer contained too many long, awkward pauses. And unsupervised moments, in which the facility could attempt to steal her back.

Several times she had attempted to leave the institute, but had been prevented.

She couldn't believe that Kimura was dead. She wouldn't. The woman was indestructible, and her thirst for blood was insatiable. What seemed like such a gory finale to the others was too simple for Laura. She knew it wasn't enough to kill Kimura.

She expected to see her around every corner, across every street, waiting.

In contrast, Julian believed, very strongly, that Kimura was dead. And that he was responsible. He now shared a small part of the entirety of Laura's life; the crushing weight of responsibility.

She found it strange that she seem to understand his new, overwhelming state better than his other friends, who weren't aware of his deed during the summer. She wasn't used to understanding anyone other than herself (which she still didn't know how to deal with), but she found that now she did.

He was mourning his innocence lost.

…

"I'm failing math this term," Julian said, sprawled out on Laura's bed, waving his hands as he spoke. "And English, and history. What am I going to do?"

It had become a standard occupation for him; he would seek Laura out after every school day, and lie on her bed, complaining loudly about school while she completed her assignments and homework. He had become even more full of random, incessant chatter since the day that seemed to loom over his head, taxing his concentration.

Laura suspected it was a coping mechanism for the boy, much like her self-inflicted injuries. She said nothing, except for the occasional response to his comments. The closest he'd come to bringing it up—other than when she tried to leave—was to rub her shoulders (during the times she lay beside him and read novels) at precisely the point the damage had occurred, his eyes taking on a similar glaze as the trauma had caused. He was always quiet during those moments, and Laura actually found that the silence disturbed her.

Not much else did.

"Study," Laura responded, turning the page in her text book. "You are wasting your time by over-analyzing the problem."

"I don't overanalyze," Julian said defensively.

"You do," Laura said. "You have spent the last two weeks trying to pinpoint the exact reason that you cannot study…instead of studying."

"Yeah, but—" he said.

"No. I am surprised you accept defeat so easily," Laura said, her tone scolding. "The subjects are not difficult. You should not be failing courses. Much of the information is practical and will be of use to you later on."

"Really?" Julian seemed interested.

"Yes. I have, for instance, used my knowledge of electricity gained from the study of Physics many times in the field."

"To electrocute people?" Julian asked.

"No. For practical purposes." Laura flipped a page. "Electrocution is an impractical method of attack. There is a great risk that you will be electrocuted, unless you have properly grounded yourself."

"Oh." He was silent for a while, and Laura returned to her reading: a biology book, explaining parts of the brain (which Laura already knew quite well, having been tutored in Biology in order to become a more efficient killer). However, she found that the quizzes and exams often relied on exact wording from the text; therefore it helped to review the material before hand.

"Want to do something tonight?" he asked from the bed.

Laura sighed, smoothed out a wrinkle on the page. "There is an exam tomorrow."

"So?"

"You should study."

"And?"

"Julian, you need to study."

"And?"

Laura glared at him, something she'd found herself doing, of late. She was concerned at his attitude; she'd been informed, by her superiors, how wonderful and necessary an education would be—it was a mission objective—and yet he did not seem to share her desire to fulfill it.

For some reason, his carelessness disturbed her. She had struggled to put her finger on it, not used to thinking about the distant future; finally she had decided that it had something to do with the icy, finger-numbing fear she had felt when Kimura had nearly killed him.

"Wow, I didn't know you could do that," Julian said, sitting up. "You just gave me the look, like, spot on."

"'The look'?" Laura asked, distracted.

"It's a woman thing," Julian said. "I've seen my mom do it to my dad before. He'd just, like, wither and give in. Really pathetic."

Laura watched him.

"Alright, alright," Julian said, pretending to shield his eyes. "I know…you can read it to me."

She considered this, then turned back to the page she had begun. "Although less than five millimeters thick, the highly folded cerebral cortex accounts for about eight percent of—"

"No, bring it here," Julian said.

Laura paused, then scooped the book off the table and carried it to the bed. After a few moments she continued, and he finally quieted down, seemingly content to listen (although he interrupted her to ask questions).

A half hour later, the door almost slammed open, and Cessily rushed in. "Laura, I—WHOA!" She caught a glimpse of the pair curled up on the bed and covered her eyes, wincing. "Jeez! Sorry, I didn't know you were here! I didn't see nothing, I swear on my—"

"Relax, we're studying," Julian said, sounding amused.

"Oh." Cessily peered through her fingers. "I thought—never mind. Anyways, Laura, I wanted to know if I could borrow your English notes."

"Yes," Laura said.

Cessily paused and craned her neck. "You guys are studying Bio?"

"Yes," Laura said again.

"She's reading it to me," Julian said.

"Oh! Can I sit in?" Cessily wrinkled her nose. "I didn't mean—I can sit on own bed—"

"Sure," he said, grinning. "Stop being so awkward, Cess."

"Right away, cap'n," Cessily said sheepishly.

…

"..." Julian sat on the floor, dazed.

"Thought we went over this," Logan said, sounding stern but amused.

Laura appeared distressed. "It was unintentional. He—he did not block properly." She looked at the boy seemingly struggling to focus on the glossy floor of the dojo, having fallen and hit his head following the three rapid blows of her attack that had unintentionally struck him when he had not made the appropriate move in the backward direction.

Seeing that he did not try to stand, she approached him and knelt at his side. "You will be fine," she said, instead of apologizing. "The impact was minor. You do not have a concussion. Get up."

"But—" Julian closed his eyes, then opened them and realized the whole class had paused to watch him mess up. He scrambled to his feet, his face red as the enormity of the situation struck him.

Everyone had just seen him get beat up by his girlfriend.

Logan bit back a grin. He was somewhat aware of the relationship between his charge and the boy, who he considered to be a little punk; Laura had not told him anything, but he was aware of the change in scents and behavior when the pair interacted. He had, at first, thought of taking the boy aside and having a stern talk with him; but then he had decided that Laura could take care of herself (and might view such an intervention as an insult).

He had, however, taken Laura out for dinner; at which he had made a small, vague reference to the need for protection during intercourse. Laura had replied by correcting him about some safety methods and then giving him a detailed scientific explanation of why the methods worked, along with an impressive list of success/failure rate percentages.

Logan had decided that she knew what she was doing. Then Laura had mentioned something (to reassure him) that raised the hackles on his neck: "I have had sufficient experience in this field, and am well aware of the requirement for 'protection'."

He had stopped her then to demand an explanation, but Laura had remained silent, clamming up, her eyes warning him to delve no farther. He'd decided he would ask Emma to investigate. He had, and the woman had promised she would unearth this—but he would have to be patient. Apparently, Emma had a whole plan to win Laura's trust, and planned to assist the girl on dealing with her trauma and engrained assassin training.

Logan had asked why she couldn't just yank it all out, and Emma had patiently explained that 'yanking' the memories could effectively destroy Laura's mind, as they were so deeply rooted that they were subconscious.

He'd decided to be patient.

Now he was watching her offer a hand to the boy that she'd once seemed to harbor dislike for (dislike, because Logan could not see the girl going as far as 'hating' anything less than her creators), and noting that the boy looked different, somehow. He squinted.

Emma had mentioned that the boy had been involved in Kimura's destruction. Logan had recovered the body, and had noted that it was quite gruesome; the woman's eyes had popped, and her internal organs had been destroyed as far as he could tell (which was impossible to determine for certain, as even in death, her skin remained impenetrable). Dr. McCoy had determined, with available tissue samples, that she had been killed by an internal surge of energy, which was suspected to be linked to Julian. Only he, Laura and Emma knew what had really occurred, and none would share the information, the latter concerned with protecting her charges. She had promised to council the boy herself.

The X-men had decided not to delve too deeply into the matter, as it was an act done in self defense against a secret, dangerous criminal. No one considered the boy to be a threat.

"You two…few words after," Logan grunted, then moved on to the next pair of students: Jay Guthrie and Laurie Collins. Unfortunately this was an exam, of sorts, and he had to pass or fail each student, based on their ability to defend themselves in a sparring match.

And Keller had just effectively failed.