Desired Effects

by Henry V

I don't own Jack, or Eva

Alright. Writer's block can give you some pretty crazy ideas. Like this one. Read at your own discretion

Chapter One; Chances

Asuka Langley Sohryu

Second child and pilot of Unit 02 of the Eva Series.

Redheaded Germanic traits, involving repressed feelings concerning the Third Child, Shinji Ikari, pilot of Unit 01 of the Eva series.

Psychological assessment states that a relationship between the two would greatly enhance co-working ability. Positive attachment to other human beings are vital.

Rendering possible chances of social interaction of high value under current emotional circumstances. Please wait…

Chances; 0.000000001 percent probability.

Rendering possible chances of social interaction of high value under optimized emotional circumstances. Please wait…

Chances; 99 percent probability.

0.5 percent chance of lack of interest on Third Child's part, 0.25 percent chance of interception by First Child, Rei Ayanami, pilot of Unit 00 of the Eva series, 0.25 percent chance of various unquantifiable negative influences hindering proper development.

Gendo Ikari read the text, slowly and carefully, as his chief of project E stood silently before his desk.

"And you are sure that the differences would affect the piloting skills of the Third Child exponentionally?"

Ritsuko Akagi smiled. "Yes. Positively explosively"

"Very well, you may proceed with project phantom, then. Inform the pilots of a synch test… we do not wish anyone else to witness this change"

"Yes, sir!"

The three pilots sat, waiting in respective poses, for the test to begin.

"Uh… Ritsuko?"

The redhead sighed. "Honestly, Shinji, can't you shut up? I'm trying to concentrate, nitwit!"

Ritsuko rolled her eyes, then answered him.

"Yes, Shinji?"

The boy winced at Asuka's reprimands. They hurt, sometimes.

"Ummm… I was wondering, why isn't Misato here?"

The bottle blonde shrugged. "Who knows? Something important, I guess…"

She proceeded to give orders to the techs, who glanced at her; then proceeded to enact those orders.

Ritsuko bit her lip. I hope this works….

"Synch test, start!

"Huh… what? Where am i?"

The redhead shook her head. It was hurting like hell, and her body felt like it had just been torn apart and fixed again.

Something was pressing into her back. It felt like an arm, or something. Then, it moved.

"Ugh… what happened…"

The voice was familiar to Asuka. It sounded… almost like her own…

The dark plug shook, as if it was being physically torn out of the socket. The girl shrieked, and heard the shriek pierce her ears from behind too.

"Who the hell are you?"

She scrambled out of the seat, just as the other person began to flail at nothing.

"What do you mean? You're the one intruding!"

She pressed herself against the plug walls, breathing in the LCL to keep her mind clear.

"I demand you show yourself! And if it's you, Shinji, I'm gonna kill you!"

"Hey! Don't take that tone with me, Arschloch! Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my Eva!"

Asuka fell silent. "The fuck! This is my Eva! And that question is mine to ask!"

Shinji knew something had gone wrong. The fact that all the lights had just gone out was something of a biggie, but just before the power cut, he had heard Asuka scream in pain. He had called out for her, but with no answer given, he assumed the worst. Something was terribly, terribly wrong.

"Maya… what just happened?"

The bottle blonde could only hear the bustle of technicians trying to restore power to the command facility. The experiment had gone so well... up to a certain point. Eva unit 02 had freaked, gone berserk… sorta. It had just screamed and shut itself down. Then, a spark from her core had spiked the nerve connections to the plug. That was when Asuka had started screaming. Almost.. in stereo.

"It… I… I… don't know, ma'am. I think we overloaded the mental buffers… you know I did say that could be a dangerous amount of psychological broadcasting we used! I can't say if we'll retrieve her alive, even…"

"Get her out as soon as you can! Open a channel to her, Rei or Shinji! I need status reports on the double!"

Panic began to settle in her chest. The thought of one pilot's loss was unbearable. Not to think about the consequences; Shinji would be devastated! And that meant…

Oh shit, the Commander's going to skin me alive for this!

Asuka sat hugging her legs to herself. This was a nightmare, surely. A dream, something she would wake up from soon. Nothing as insane as this was even possible!

She heard soft sobs coming from the opposite side of the plug.

Hah! That proves it! Asuka Langley Sohryu would never, ever cry in a situation like this!

"So, gonna tell me who you are for real now?"

"Shut up! I am Asuka Langley Sohryu! You're just a figment of my imagination! Just go away!"

Asuka snorted. "a bit of German and some tough words do not make you me, bitch! Now own up!"

The sobs descended into outright crying.

"And stop the frikken tears! Argh, you are so annoying!"

"Power coming back on line in ten seconds!"

"Well done. Now, focus on retrieving the Second Child and get her to the medical facilities. I need to examine her immediately"

The good doctor spun on her heels, leaving the rest ot the technicians now finally flooded with light once more.

"Uh… right. Discharge plug, drain lcl and prepare for pilot retrieval!"

Maya's commands were followed to the letter. The eva's back spilt, revealing the plug. As soon as it was out, four streams vented LCL rapidly as it was brought to the bridge. One gurney and a set of medics were hurrying to collect the pilot. Maya hoped they wer not needed, but if what she had theorized was going on, the medical team was not going to be of any use at all.

Asuka felt he plug shake again. This time, the lcl pressure decreased, and she recognized the procedure of retrieval. Finally! Twenty minutes of listening to a sobbing wreck of a girl was driving her out of her mind. That's probably why she took potshots at the impostor.

"Right! Finally, something good happens! I hope they chuck you into prison, bitch!"

No answer. Maybe she was contemplating it already.

Anyway, the sobbing stopped. The level of liquid slipped past her head, and she began coughing up the rest of it. Twin sounds indicated the other person was doing the same. No hacking like newbies either. Just the regular coughs that purged her lungs so efficiently.

A clank. The plug now rested on the platform's restraint. Any moment now…

A hiss, and light poured into the cylinder. And what she saw…

"You've got to be kidding me!"

Maya heard the exclamation. The opening plug stayed silent, afterwards. Hesitating, she called out to her.

"Asuka… Asuka, you can come out now"

She heaved a sigh of relief when she saw the tip of red hair appear, closely followed by the sharp features of Asuka's face.

It didn't come out, though. Her head turned back to the interior of the plug, then she cursed.

"Fucking hell, what the fuck are you?" she turns to Maya "Is this some kind of prank or something?"

Anger reinforces the redhead. She glares into the lieutenant's confused face. Maya sometimes just didn't get the girl.

"Look, Asuka.. sorry about the test. Something..just didn't go as it should have-"

"Oh, you're telling me? Why is it I wake up, then, after being shredded to bits and mashed together again, that I find-"

"Asuka! Asuka, are you allright?"

The almost panicky voice of Shinji cut her off from her rant. This did however just infuriate her more.

"I'm perfectly fine, Third child! Stop acting like a housewife every time I get set back, you baka!"

Shinji simultaneously sighed in relief and cringed at ther words.

"Well, if you're okay then…"

"Shinji… Shinji, is that you?"

Asuka's eyebrows rose, then fell again like lead to form a deep, deep frown she directed back into the plug.

Shinji was confused again. She had just seen him, why was she asking if he was here?

"um, yes, Asuka, it's me-"

"shut up! " the redhead glared at him, then turned away again. "And you, you imposter bitch, shut the hell up too!"

What?

Maya's thoughts raced. Had the test forced delusions upon the second?

"But I just-"

"NO! just shut up!shut up!"

To Shinji and co, it seemed as if she'd cut herself off mid-sentence. The redhead dissapered from the edge and continued swearing.

"Bist du nicht willig, so zwing ich dich!"

Shinji then heard the sounds of a scuffle erupting from the plug. He hurried forward, in an effort to break it up.

"Asuka! What are you doing to yourself? Stop it-"

As he reached the plug, he did two things. One was shut up at last, the other was gasp in shock at what he saw.

Inside, two Asukas, mirror images to the very tip of their hair, were shrieking and punching each other furiously. Both of them noticed him, and one of them reached out with her hand.

"Please…help!"

The other one growled and punched her in the stomach. Their fight continued for a while before Shinji leapt inside and grabbed Asuka by the shoulders and dragged her off her opposite.

"Hey! Get off me, you little-"

She slipped, and fell backwards, landing on top of the boy, who cushioned her fall with his body.

She did, however, knock her head against his jaw, splitting his lower lip and getting some blood in her hair. Afet a few seconds, she began to struggle free from him, only to come face to face with her rival.

"Get. The fuck. Off Shinji!"

The last was pronounced with a fist to the ribs, sending her gasping for air and rolling off him.

Shinji was slightly dazed, and the girl's words were lost to him mostly. He did hear the words "are you okay?", but couldn't figure out what the rest meant.

Meanwhile, Maya had caught up. She spotted two red-clad girls, almost screamed in shock, then decided to stop the one raising her fist to strike at the one bent over Shinji.

"Stop right now!"

The two stared at her. Then at each other. Asuka lowered her fist, slowly. Then neither moved an inch, staring intently at the other's eyes.

"Okay… who are you?" Maya knew that it was a stupid question the moment the two faces smirked and uttered the same name.

"Asuka Langley Sohryu, of course!"

She buried her face in her palm.

"Oh, dear god, what am I gonna say to Ritsuko?"

Funsies; Thats what I wrote it for. And i think I've never seen this before. (well... not entirely true. i think i saw a lemon, a while back. but not this kind of plot, though;) Expect updates, but no regular ones.

Thank you for reading!

Yours sincerely,

Henry V