Title:Without His Wings

Author:OneShotWonderment

Fandom/Character(s)/Pairing(s): Supernatural / Castiel & Anna and Sam & Dean (implied)

Genre:Angst/Romance

Rating:K+

Words:500

Challenge/Prompt:16: Fire Still Burns for fictionland.

Warnings:Spoilers for Season 5 and anything up to it. Also, implied incest.

Summary: Without his wings, there are things about himself and his own actions that Castiel can no longer deny.

Disclaimer:

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of this author. This author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Without his wings, there are things about himself and his own actions that Castiel can no longer deny.

He was the one who started everything. He was the one who planted doubt in Anna's mind about the word of God. Anna's superiors had doubts about her commitment to the cause and had order Castiel to whisper in her ear. He had not wanted to, but he could not go against orders, so he did as they asked and to his great horror Anna began to believe what he said. Anna was the best angel he ever met and if she could find a truth in the lies that he fed her then maybe there was something to be found there. The day she fell to Earth was the first time Castiel began to wonder about God and the true purpose of angels.

He was the one to bring about the war on earth that Dean and Sam were dealing with. The Winchester brothers didn't see this logic, of course, but it was true. If Cas hadn't freed Dean from his cage in Hell then the two men wouldn't have to face the fact that one of them was going to kill the other. The young angel had seen only righteous indignation, how dare the forces of good abandon one of their very best soldiers, not the bigger picture. Now, Hell and Heaven would come to Earth and nothing would be the same ever again.

He was the one who sent Anna back to Heaven when he knewthe treatment she would receive there. If he hadn't done that then she wouldn't have been brainwashed into believing that killing Sam Winchester was the right answer to the pending problem that he caused. She wouldn't have hunted Mary Winchester down in order to complete her mission and she would not have died.

As Castiel sat in the corner of yet another motel room while Sam and Dean strategized and planned, he couldn't help but feel alone. Even though his wings had given him the power to screw everything up he missed them; he missed being a part of something bigger.

Still, being human allowed him one freedom greater than all the powers his wings provided. He was finally able to face facts. Everything he had done wrong, everything he regretted, was tied to emotions which angels were not allowed to have. In truth, his fall from grace and everything that had come before it, had been a long time coming because long ago he fall in love.

Something of that fire burns still even as the destruction of everything God worked to build looms.

"I was…am in love with Anna." His declaration is loud, but neither Dean nor Sam looked surprised.

"We know, Cas." Dean says.

"When this all over," Sam says, "We'll find a way to get her back."

"Why?"

"Everyone deserves love." Cas has to smile at the look that Sam and Dean share when they don't think he's watching.