Draco Malfoy: Sidekick Extraordinaire

A "What Could Have Been"

In one universe, Draco Malfoy was a rather handsome young boy, with many admirers and enemies, and never a hardship in his life. Everything was black and white in that universe: Slytherins were hated; Gryffindors were suck-ups; Ravenclaws were annoying; and Hufflepuffs didn't even matter. But it was a rather comfortable life.

But in that universe, Harry Potter was sorted into Gryffindor. In another, he was sorted into Slytherin.

Now, the Draco Malfoy of that universe? He really hated his life, as could be seen by the scene in the Great Hall one morning.

Blaise Zabini leaned over to Theodore Nott. "He's cracked," he whispered.

"Gone nuts," Theodore agreed.

"Lost his marbles," Blaise continued.

"Went certifiably–"

"Would you two brainless monkeys shut up?" Red-faced and seething, Draco turned back to his previous victim. "Now, as I was saying. You've made my life absolutely miserable! First, there was the whole three headed dog incident. Oh, it'll be fun, Draco! We'll save the school, Draco! Don't worry, it'll go to sleep. But nooo, it ends up slobbering all over us.

"What happens after that? We nearly get strangled by Devil's Snare, impaled by flying keys of all things, and then I fall unconscious at the chess board! Next thing I know, we're in the Hospital, and you're as cheerful as anything else.

"But it doesn't stop there. Acromantulas, basilisks, werewolves, animagi, time turners and a death tournament – every single impossible thing finds you! And I'm always there getting caught in crossfire. And you know what you have the nerve to call me?" Draco took a dramatic pause, all the students' and teachers' eyes on him. "A sidekick! A bloody effing sidekick!"

Harry Potter raised innocent green eyes to look at his best friend. "Well. You look upset," he noted.

That, apparently, was the last straw. "KIND OF?" Draco let loose an animalistic roar. He pointed an accusing finger. "That's it, Harry Potter! You are the worst possible person that comes to imagination!"

With that, he stomped off.

Harry turned to Blaise, confusion written on his face. "What's his issue?" he asked.

"Didn't you listen?" Blaise asked, nonplussed. "He was practically shouting in your ear."

"I was too busy trying to figure out how the hell I was going to drag Draco through the horcrux search," Harry admitted.

"The what?" Blaise blinked.

Harry sighed, as if everyone around him was thoroughly ignorant. "Don't worry too much about it," he said. "Now, where's the bacon?"

"They're batshit," Theodore muttered, as he watched Harry demand bacon from the Ravenclaw table, insisting they had stolen it. "Absolutely batshit crazy."

Note: A bit rushed? Extremely silly? Not the funniest? Who cares, I am slowly getting my muse back. This started off with the bit that I wrote in the previous chapter about Harry defeating Voldemort with Malfoy. And this is what happened. Hope you at least enjoyed!