Kurt was numb. He couldn't recall how he had ended up in his bed. All that rang in his head were Leroy's words.

"We...we found her in the bathtub...they tried to revive her...but...they think it was suicide..." The tall man had managed through his sobs. Kurt felt his knees buckle under him as he fell to the floor, tears cascading down his pale cheeks as he absorbed the news.

Kurt shook his head. He vaguely remembered his dad pulling him into a tight hug, whispering comforting words into his ear as he too, cried, Rachel having been a daughter to him. A letter had been given to him by Leroy and he noticed his name was written on it in Rachel's neat handwriting but the rest had passed in a blur.

Suicide. The word resounded in his mind. It couldn't be true, he had just spoken to her the day before, they had even agreed to meet in the morning. He hadn't apologized yet. He felt the warm tears roll down his cheek as he released a sob. She couldn't be gone.

How could she have killed herself? A wave of anger rushed over him and he picked up the glass on his bedside table and flung it at the wall, pieces of glass scattering the floor as it exploded upon impact. Why did she have to leave before he had the chance to say sorry, to apologize for all he had done? He buried his face in his hands as the anger was quickly replaced with an overwhelming sense of guilt. It was all his fault, he had driven her to it.

Looking at the small, innocent white envelope beside him, a heaviness settled in his heart. Turning it over, his fingers hovered over the flap, shaking, but he couldn't open it. He didn't have the strength to. Flipping it once more, he held the letter to his chest, sinking lower on his bed. They were the last words he would ever have from Rachel, the last connection he had to her. Pushing the side with his neatly scrawled name tightly into his chest, he screamed into his pillow, muffling the heartbreaking noise.

The pillow began to grow damp with his tears and he turned his head to the side only to see a photo of the glee club on his bedside table. In the picture, Kurt had his arms around Rachel's shoulders, both with equally bright smiles on their faces and his chin was resting affectionately on the top of her head. He squeezed his eyes shut as an unbearable pain filled his heart. The happy memories were too much to handle.

Kurt opened his eyes slowly, sensing another presence in his room. Lifting his head, he spied a small figure walking towards him.

"Rachel?" He asked breathlessly.

"Kurt." She said as her face came into view. The first thing Kurt noticed was that she looked happier than he had ever seen her, she looked...at peace. She was no longer pale, her eyes weren't tired, her cheeks were tinged pink and her lips were curled into a genuine smile.

"Rachel..." He whispered in disbelief, a lump forming in his throat.

"Rach...I'm so sorry! I'm so, so sorry! It's my fault, I shouldn't have left you! Please Rachel, forgive me, please...I'm so sorry." He repeated over and over again as he stood and immediately fell to his knees before her, clutching at the ends of her white dress as he became overwhelmed with emotion.

"Kurt, stand up." Rachel said gently, helping Kurt to his feet before gazing into his eyes. Seeing her warm brown eyes again caused the tears welling up in his eyes to spill over. They were so beautiful. She lifted her small hand to his cheek and wiped the water from them, smiling softly.

"Kurt, I forgive you. I knew you were stressed about Karofsky, I never really blamed you. It hurt but I never blamed you, in my heart, you were still the closest thing I ever had to a friend." She said softly as Kurt shook his head. He didn't deserve this.

"No!" He yelled, pulling away from her. "You don't understand, this is my fault! I should have been there for you, not helping to tear you down! You killed yourself because of me!"

"Kurt, I didn't commit suicide." Hearing this, Kurt wheeled around to look at the tiny brunette, shock and confusion written on his face. "What?"

"I was planning to, before you called me but then I wanted to wait until after our meeting. I wanted to see if you would apologize or if it was only my wishful thinking. It was an accident, Kurt, I was in the bathtub when I slipped and hit my head. I passed out. It turns out I didn't want to die but I'm happier now than I've been in a long time." She said, beaming at Kurt.

"I-I don't understand..." He muttered.

"It turns out they have a zero tolerance for bullying." She joked but Kurt didn't laugh. Moving closer to him, she reached out her arms and pulled him into a tight hug. "It was an accident, Kurt, don't keep beating youself up over it. Everything happens for a reason, it was just my time to go. I'll miss you. Please read the letter, I wrote it before you called. Tell my fathers that I didn't kill myself, I don't want them to remember me like that." She whispered into his ear as he closed his eyes and sank into the embrace. He put his arms around her, stroking her silky smooth hair, running his hand gently over her back as he tried to hold on to that moment. "Of course."

"Thank you, Kurt, for being my friend. Those times we shared were some of my best memories. I'll be waiting for you." He heard her soft, melodious voice and held her tighter, not willing to let her go. He breathed in her apple scented body wash and kissed her on the cheek, trying to memorise how she looked, how she felt, how she smelled. He wanted to remember everything about her.

"Don't go."

"I'm sorry, I have to. Goodbye, Kurt."

"No!" Jolting awake, Kurt opened his eyes but Rachel wasn't there. He was in bed and tears had stained his , he sat up and looked at the letter still clutched in his hands. Taking a deep breath, he held it shakily in one hand, lifting the flap with the other. He reached in and pulled out a folded sheet of paper covered in writing. Unfolding it, he gathered his courage and read. Rachel had told him to.

Dear Kurt,

if you're reading this, it must mean that I am already dead and in some sense, you cared for me. You were my only friend or I thought you were. Recently, I've began doubting that our friendship was ever real. I know you're going through a difficult time, but I thought friends supported each other during times like that, when the rest of the world was against them. I guess I was wrong. I must have been a bad friend otherwise you wouldn't have started bullying me again. I'm sorry if I did something wrong.

If by some chance you did care about me, I want to apologize for taking such a cowardly route. I always thought that those who killed themselves were weak but now, maybe it's just because it was the only choice, the only way to escape a miserable existence. I'm not strong like you and I have admired your resilience for so long. I want you to know that.

Lastly, I want to thank you. You made my life better, for a while at least, and I wouldn't have lasted for so long without you. You've hurt me badly in the past few weeks, worse than any of the others because you were supposed to be my friend but I need you to know it wasn't your fault. They did so much more than you ever have.

I wasn't strong enough, Kurt, but I want you to hang in there. I know you'll be able to make it to New York and when you're on the Broadway stage singing your heart out, I'll be there cheering for you. Do it for both of us, okay? I know you can.

Love,

Rachel*

Kurt continued to stare at the letter in his hands, reading it repeatedly until he noticed stains appearing on the paper. Bringing a hand up to his cheeks, he wiped furiously at his tears, surprised that he could still cry after all the tears he had already shed.

He felt something lift in his heart. The guilt and regret still remained, but it had lessened. Putting the note away, he brought his knees up to his chest and folded his arms before burying his head in them. He was still crying, his heart still pounded painfully, he still felt incomparable remorse for his childish actions. It would get better, just not yet. Maybe not for a long time.

"I promise." He said silently into his arms as sobs began to wrack his body yet again. "I promise, Rachel, I won't let you down. Not this time."

A/N Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I'm so glad people have enjoyed this as much as I have writing it and I hope you liked this chapter. Originally, I planned to have Rachel really commit suicide but I changed it in the end. Please review and tell me what you thought or if you want an epilogue or something! I wasn't sure if it seemed rushed. Once again, thanks and remember to review!