The first rule about dating a full blooded wizard: NEVER, under any circumstance, bring him to a muggle department store. This is something I, Hermione Granger, learned the hard way.

It was Sunday, my shopping day, and Fred insisted upon coming with me.

"I want to see what muggle shops are like!" He pleaded, practically on his hands and knees.

I knew why he wanted to go so much. Fred, like his father, was very interested in muggle things. This, combined with the fact that he and his twin brother, George, owned a shop of their own had obviously peaked the man's curiosity. Who was I to deny him the right to visit the store?

"Alright, you can come with me," I sighed, grabbing my coat. "Hurry up though, I'm about to leave."

"Yes ma'am!" Fred exclaimed, grabbing my hand in a preparation to apparate.

"Hold on there, mister," I said, "We can't just apparate there. It's a muggle store."

"Yes."

"With muggles around…."

"Mhmmm…."

"Who might see us…."

"So how are we supposed to get there, exactly?" He asked skeptically, giving me a trademarked Weasley Eyebrow raise.

"Well, that's simple, really. We have to drive there."

During the entire car drive, Fred looked half ready to puke. His eyes were wide with fear and his skin was pale. I hadn't seen him looking this scared since George lost his ear. It was actually quite amusing. I couldn't help the smirk forming on my lips.

"And just what are you smiling about, missy?" Fred stuttered, his voice shaking.

"You, silly. In all my life, I have never once seen someone so afraid of a car. And besides, you have ridden in one before."

"Yeah, well, that was the car dad charmed to fly. It's different when its on the ground!" He proclaimed, gripping the seat for dear life.

I sighed. Something told me that this was a bad idea.

Upon arriving at the store, Fred was awestruck by the doors.

"They open up automatically, Hermione! Watch!"

I watched as he stepped near the door. Just like he said, it opened up. He did this a few more times until people started staring at him. Flushing, I dragged my boyfriend into the store.

"Mione, look at this!" Fred's voice was gleeful. I looked.

"What is it, Mione?" He sounded like a young child going to Disney World for the first time.

"That's a CD player, Fred." I stated casually, pushing my cart forward.

"What's it do?" He pressed. I sighed. I wasn't getting away without a response.

"You put a CD in it and it plays music." I responded, hoping he would let it drop at that.

"Wicked!" With that, he followed my lead.

"Hey, Mione, what does this thing do?" I followed Fred's pointed finger to a row of candles.

"Those, Fred, are candles. If you light them, they fill the room with a nice scent." I answered, picking one of them up.

I lifted the lid of the candle to smell it. Cherries. Yum. I handed it over to Fred, who cautiously put his nose to the small lid. He crinkled his nose and thrust it back at me.

"It smells like wax," He pouted. It was adorable. He looked like a small child.

"That's because it's made of wax," I retorted, placing the lid back on the candle, which I had placed in my cart. It would be nice to have a good smelling house for once, I decided. On through the store we moved.

"What are these?" Fred asked, opening a freezer and picking out a microwave dinner.

"Frozen foods, Fred. You heat them up in the microwave so you can eat it instantly and not have to cook anything." I explained, putting the dinner back where Fred had gotten it.

"C'mon, we still have some things to get."

Just when I thought Fred was finished with the questions, another one sparked up.

"Mione, what's in this box?"

"What dose it say?" I inquired, getting rather annoyed by this point.

"Con…..condoms?" He responded.

Oh, bullocks.

"Um…well…uh…." I stammered, thinking of the right words. I was NOT ready for a question like this. I felt as if I were talking to a child.

"Those are for….protection." I nodded to myself, content with my answer.

Please let him drop it…..

"Protection from what?" He asked, picking up the box.

Oh, put those down!

"Um….just….stuff….."

"What KIND of stuff, Mione?" He pressed on, not satisfied.

Damn the Weasleys for being so curious.

"Um…..it protects girls from getting pregnant." Here we go…

He gave me a black stare. He batted his eyes a couple of times. And then he burst out laughing.

"How in the world are these things supposed to keep girls from getting pregnant?" He asked between bursts of laughter.

"They, they just are, Fredrick. If you are wise, you will drop the subject there," I griped. I was fed up with this, and also quite flustered. I felt a blush rising on my face. This had to stop.

"Oh….I see how it works. Guys put it on their,"

"STOP RIGHT THERE FREDRICK GIDEON WEASLEY!" I practically screamed at him.

Fred started chuckling again, seeing my red, flushed face and the anger in my eyes.

"So Mione, what do you say you and I try one of these out tonight?"

At this, I punched him right in the face.

If you're thinking about taking your wizard boyfriend to a muggle store, think again. I can tell you from experience that its NOT something you want to do. Trust me.

A/N: Hey guys, IM BACK! Sorry I haven't updated Loves Me Not in a while. I promise I'll get another chapter uploaded soon. I've just been thinking about some things. But anyways, I now conclude today's broadcast. Enjoy the rest of your day, folks. Oh, and sorry if this was bad. I've been experimenting with a few new writing styles. I hope its ok.