Affinity

(a Gokusen fanfic)

This is based on the Jdorama. I really hadn't followed the manga, so...

Summary: Nothing seemed to bother Sawada Shin. Everyday was the same, everybody, hopeless and unwanted. Mediocrity was the word and Ordinary was evident. School was uncool. Until she came...

Sawada: I always thought it didn't matter whether I went to school or not. But, recently, for some reason school's gotten interesting.

Uchiyama: Yankumi, right?

The whole gang was drooling over the girls from Momo High. Minami tried to follow one, but when the girls heard them talk, they all ran away. Uchiyama booed at the loser girls, as Noda cried out of misery over the loss of pretty girls in their sight. Minami commented that although some of the girls weren't worth their time...

Minami: But there is one nice and cute girl. Right Shin?

Sawada: I'm not interested.

Minami (approaching Sawada): I've been wondering for a while. Are you normal?

Sawada didn't answer. Just then, Yamaguchi Kumiko, better known as Yankumi to her students, approached them.

Yankumi: Ohayo gozaimasu, minna-san! If you don't hurry, you'll be late for class.

Sawada looked at Yankumi. The teacher was startled at her student's seemingly absentminded stare, which hit her right in the eyes.

Yankumi: Sawada, why are you looking at me like that? Ah! You don't by any chance, have feelings for me – ?

Sawada: Don't be ridiculous.

And to think that I've almost been caught! It was just last night that I knew of her family, her upbringing. That was the reason why she loved to fight. She loved to swear and use gangster words. She maybe my teacher, yet she'll always be a yakuza...

Ucchi seemed to figure out my silent crush over my math teacher, Yankumi. He heard me mutter and asked. Nan demo nai, I told him. But he swore I blushed. He kept teasing me, and I got irritated. Urusai! Kuma heard the commotion. When he asked us, we told him it was nothing and we went back to our classroom.

I'm in my third year of high school. I was smart. It didn't matter to me if I'd do to college. I can go anyway. Any top university would accept me. But here, I'm stuck with people who are branded as delinquents. We all had outrageous hairstyles, mannerisms and vices. The teachers hated us, especially that monkey, Saruwatari Goro (Note: his last name is actually Sawatari, but they named him as Saruwatari or monkey, just for pun). He keeps yelling it out on our faces that we're not worth it, that we're all trash. Sometimes, I wanted to hit him. But I don't want to be expelled. I had learned my lesson, but I didn't regret what I did.

When Yankumi first came to our school, I thought that she was just another face. Another teacher of this another boring school year. Yet, she seemed to be teaching stuff to us we never expected of her: lessons about life, family and love. Ah, koi, what does that teacher know about it? We kept following her seemingly hidden crush to that cop, Shinohara-san. We enjoyed the circus. She looked so cute and funny –

Wait, did I say cute and funny? Why was I giving colorful descriptions about her? Every time she's near, my heart starts to flutter, for reasons I cannot explain. Because of her, I enjoyed school. I seldom was late for classes, especially math. Yeah, I know, I've known about them tangents, sines and cosines and stuff. But what the heck? I didn't come to school to learn. I came to school just to see her everyday.

Noda elbowed me and followed his stair to Yankumi. Then he eyed and smiled at me. Baka. He must have noticed too. Shin, be warned. She still likes that cop. I wonder if you'll ever get a chance to date her. Damn, Noda, you don't have to say that straight to my face. You're trying to tell me that I look like a loser.

Yeah, a loser. Yet, what can I show her? I'm still a minor. And though she knew that I knew of her being a yakuza, what can I get? I think my chance for now is to show her my good grades. Yet, she doesn't seem to notice them grades. Well, every time us guys had any misfit hang-outings going on, she seems to appear from nowhere. I just loved seeing her caught dumbfounded. She's smart, but she's naïve. I've heard so many times from my guys, Minami and Ucchi to be exact, that guys like it when their girls mess up sometimes. My girl kept messing things up. She even went to Ucchi's mother to check on her work. She has this act of meddling with her students' personal lives.

As for me, I had wanted to ask her personal questions myself. I wanted to ask her why she lied about her family background. I wanted to ask her if she has any siblings, or anyone I can ask questions about her. And now that I've met Kuroda Ruichirou, her grandfather and leader of the Oedo Family, I'm glad that I can have someone to ask. Yankumi seems to have something she didn't tell us. So much for meddling other people's lives.

Sawada: Nani?

Yankumi: What is that?

Sawada: It's my dinner.

Yankumi: Ah! Why're you buying fastfood? Can that really satisfy you? Ah! I know! Come, follow me!

Yankumi grabbed my hand and dragged me. Where would she bring me? On a date? I'd be flattered that my crush would ask me out. Yet, I never asked her. To my surprise, she led me to the Oedo residence, to her house. I did my best to hid my blush. Sawada, be cool. I kept a mental note to myself not to get too giddy, or else, her family would guess. Yankumi never seemed to notice anything or get the gist. Naivete. I'm glad she has that childlike characteristic. I know that she'd be hurt or jealous if Kazashima-sensei or Fujiyama-sensei would drag Shinohara-san on a date. I can understand that. She's still a girl who has fantasies about someone. Who wouldn't? I have, too. She's my fantasy.

She was seated at the head of the table, though Kuroda was the head. I was seated near Yankumi. Beside me were Tetsu and Minuro, two of Yankumi's henchmen. They were quarreling over a piece of meat on the hot pot. Kuroda scolded the two as a father would scold his children when they quarrel over something at table. Yankumi didn't mind them though. She was just eating, and she asked me if I needed more. Then she asked me if I feel comfortable living alone. She had seen my sister Natsumi yesterday, whom they all thought was an ex-gf or a current girlfriend that I didn't tell the gang. For God's sake, why would I have a girlfriend? And if I did have one, I'd introduce her to my friends.

I enjoyed her noisy family. It contrasted with mine. I know okasan was already tired of following otosan's frequent mandates on this and that thing. He wanted us to be the best in school. Not that it's bad. I know any father would like to have his children do well in school. But he crushes us like we are not his children, always forcing us to meet his demands. And if we didn't, well, all the banter would be thrown right on our faces. That's what happened to me. After that incident in junior high, my father and I had constant fights. In the end, I moved away from home. I liked it better this way. It's quiet, and I can't here every noise I never wanted to hear. In truth, I pity Natsumi. Because I was a "failure", she had to bear the weight of having to be the best in our father's eyes. She envied me and wished that she'll move out soon. One piece of advice I told her? She had to live with it yet because she didn't have the guts to live in a harsh world like I did.

It's ten in the evening and I haven't had a shut eye. I guess I was just too happy that she came to visit me. It was a flop, though. She knocked at my door just before dinner. When I asked her what her problem was, she came in, bringing along some food. She said that in preparation for married life, culinary obligations can't be neglected. She had so much confidence in herself that she ended up cooking burnt food. Ah! If she would get to be my wife, I'd rather ask us to dine out everyday. What a horrible cook she is! And as I said, she messed up again.

Well, we talked about her family. Her parents died when she was seven, so she wasn't able to know them well. A pang of jealousy crossed her face when I talked to her about my supposedly "perfect" family. I've seen that envy when Ucchi and his mother just went back home after apologizing to a student Ucchi hit. Yankumi cried. I can understand why she had that sorrow. No matter how strong she is, there's still that void in her heart that can't be filled by just mere grandpa. Nor of her henchmen. Nor myself.

I got up and took the picture of us from the bookshelf. We were in the middle of the picture, and she was beside me. I forgot when and who got that shot, but I had to thank him personally for doing me a great favor, never mind if I wouldn't state any reason. I really made sure that I'm near her, and when she sees that picture, she can always see me. And if for some reasons our paths will no longer cross, she'll come and think of me again. God, she's so adorable. She had this manner that, when I'm not looking, she taps my shoulder, pokes my cheek when I turn to face the tap's direction, and say baka. I did it to her too, just a manner of retaliation. But more so as a manner of getting her attention. When Fujiyama-sensei was facing the doom of resignation, Yankumi urged us to help her by getting 30 points in the English midterm. Unknowingly, I helped Yankumi by helping my friends. You're a genius, the heiress managed to say to me when I told her that she had grammatical errors in her pamphlet. Instead of BEGIN,she spelled it as BIGIN. Now, so much for crossing over from being math teacher to becoming an English teacher.

Ah, Yankumi, what do you possess that I just can't get you out of my head? It's like I had this strong affinity for you from the first time I saw you. You are a forbidden woman: a teacher, an heiress to a yakuza group, and you're five years my senior. Is it really wrong to date someone older than you are? I admit I'm still a minor, and I wanted to date her when I am of legal age already. Gosh, Sawada, what are you thinking, I asked myself. I think I'm going crazy. I may be smart in school ,but for matters like this, I'm just not. This made both of us even.

Maybe sleep will take away this crazy infatuation I have...maybe I can forget her tomorrow. But as I kept telling myself that over and over again, it seemed impossible. Man, am I really lost in love with this girl! Somehow I found a way to get lost in you, as the song goes. However, if I sleep, she's still there, as another song rings true: these dreams go on when I close my eyes, every second of the night, I live another life... I admit that I'll really lose in this crazy affinity. Yankumi, aishiteru...