I didn't think I'd get this up for a couple of days, apparently I'm seriously inspired though.

Disclaimer: Still looking, still can't find the rights. Besides, if I owned it Gabriel and Balthazar would be working out ways to torment Dean while pushing Cas to make a move, Sam would be hiding in a corner wondering how it became his life and Bobby would be contemplating killing the lot of them for the sake of a quiet life. Ergo, it's not mine and more's the pity.

First Time.

Castiel has been unconscious for three days and for three days Dean has sat in the panic room and watched him. There is little romantic about the way that the hunter is sitting and waiting for the angel to awaken, it is completely a matter of practicality. Dean wants Castiel to open his eyes and be back to being the angel he was before Crowley and the souls. Deep down he knows that will never be the case. Too much has happened to them all in the last few years and Dean does not know what they will meet when Castiel wakes up. For all he knows the angel could be completely mad.

It is heartbreaking to think that he might lose Castiel when he is finally beginning to understand just how he important the angel is to him.

Physically the hunter is prepared should Castiel wake completely insane, fully powered and dangerous. The cot they have placed the angel on is surrounded by a ring of unlit holy oil and Dean has a lighter in his pocket. If that fails the hunter also has an angel blade at his side. Killing Castiel is the last thing that he wants to do and while he might have everything that he might need on hand to do so Dean knows that mentally it is not something that he is ready for.

"Maybe it's time to accept that he isn't going to wake up," Sam says from the door into the panic room. It is about the only good thing that Castiel did while in possession of all the souls in Purgatory, fixing Sam's mind, and so far all the signs are good. Sam still sleeps a great deal more than Dean is comfortable with but he is getting better each day and it is a weight off the older brother's mind.

"He'll wake up, Sam," Dean insists, looking over at his friend. After everything that they have all been through together he knows it would destroy him if Castiel were to remain like this for the rest of their days.

"If he doesn't," Sam says, though he does not come closer, the younger man knows that this is a touchy subject, "we can't leave him like this. We have to think about what we're going to do, how long we're going to wait."

"As long as it takes," Dean mutters, "we'll wait as long as we have to."

"The world isn't standing still out there. Bobby's getting more and more leads on potential hunts." Sam brushes his hair back off his face and Dean takes a moment to wonder at the fact that his brother seems so comfortable having it so long. "Just think about it, alright?" Sam does not give his brother a chance to reply, just leaves the room and Dean to his thoughts.

This is not an easy position that the hunter is in, caught between wanting Castiel to wake up and wanting to dedicate his time to making sure that Sam is alright. He is also exhausted, sleeping in fits and starts in an uncomfortable chair when he dares, but when Bobby relieves him so that Dean can grab a few hours of shut eye it is elusive. His concern for Castiel gnaws constantly at him and the hunter has only ever experienced this kind of gut wrenching worry once before in his life: when Sam was drinking demon blood.

Really it is a sign of just how much Castiel truly means to him that he would worry about the angel this much even after everything he has done. The hunter does not have many friends, has been hurt too often and is too much of a nomad to form normal relationships with people, but Cas has always been different. Moving past what has happened in the last few months will not be easy, Dean has been betrayed one too many times in his life and as much as he cares about Cas it will take a while to trust him fully again. Sam will find it harder, however, because Dean knows that his brother is still hurting about how easily Castiel shattered the wall in his mind and used him as a distraction. Dean just wishes that he could be surprised about that choice, but he knows the influences that Cas has had in his existence and there is not a one of them that is twisted enough to do everything that the angel did.

Dean includes himself in that because, and he may not like to admit it, he has worked with demons in the past too.

"Get some sleep, boy," Bobby startles him out of his thoughts. "You look like week old milk."

"Thanks, Bobby," Dean gets to his feet though he is not certain whether he means his comment to be sarcastic or heartfelt and so it comes out as a strange mix of the two. He is tired, however, and a few hour of rest whether he manages to sleep or not are not something that he is going to pass up in a hurry. Besides, as much as watching over Castiel is a task he has taken on willingly, or as willingly as he does anything these days, there is an agony to doing it that he wants to escape for a short period.

It takes nearly an hour for the hunter to fall asleep but when it finally comes to him he succumbs quickly and willingly, passing from the unlit darkness of Bobby's guest bedroom and into a world of grey and still. Dean knows that he is dreaming even before his brain registers the other presence in his mind fully. With everything that he has seen and experienced he is almost disappointed that his dreamscape is so plain, then he looks fully at his companion and wishes that his imagination did not have all the material it has been given over the years.

Not unusually the companion of his dream world is Castiel. What is odd about it is the fact that this is not the angel as Dean's dreams so often paint him, whole and in love, relaxed and calm. This is not an imagining of the life that Dean could have with his angel, or the guilty moments of pleasure with a version of Cas that needs no guidance or reassurances. This version of Castiel stands awkwardly, almost as though he is afraid of how Dean will react to him, and his head is half tilted. Were that the entirety of it the hunter would be happy to accept this as simply his mind and leave it at that. Except that it is not all of it, the image is not of a Castiel healthy and whole. This image is of an angel who's form is cracked. Even his clothes have the fissures in them, as though they are more rigid than they should be, and through those cracks Dean can clearly see the blinding shine of white that he has come to associate with an angel's grace.

"Dean," Castiel's voice is no less broken, his blue eyes wide and pleading. "What's happening to me?" He reaches for the hunter. "Tell me I did not succeed."

It is in this moment that Dean realises that this is not his dream, not his mind, that some how he has managed to cross from his mind into the angel's. It should freak him out, and when he wakes up it probably will, but his concern right now is Cas.

"You didn't," Dean assures him, "Sam found a way to get the souls out." The angel sags slightly in apparent relief. "You haven't woken up in three days, Cas." He can see the flicker of surprise in his friend's eyes, can see that Castiel was not expecting Dean's concern or soft words. They stare at each other in a way that they have not in far too long and were Dean not certain that he is in Castiel's mind he would think that the angel is trying to look at his soul again.

He is woken by the sound of screaming.

Artemis