Really, he should have been packing. But there wasn't that much to pack. And he should have gone to bed early and gotten a good night's sleep for the next day. Sleep wasn't going to visit him tonight, though. If he was honest with himself, it probably wouldn't be a constant companion of his for a few days. There was just so much to process. Somehow Colin had broken through his barriers and made him realize it was OK to grieve Catherine's death. Colin had also shattered the illusion he'd had that he stopped having feelings for his first lover. Then there was the matter of moving underground, never able to see the sky again... Or Colin...

He'd been pacing the floor of his tiny room for a while now. When it occurred to Colin that James hadn't eaten in a very long time, he'd rushed off, mumbling something about his egghead being a forgetful flake. Colin was out of earshot before he could ask the man's destination. Being alone right now was such a bad idea. His nerves were raw from all the thinking and feeling; were tomorrow not such a big day, he'd drink himself into oblivion. His hands raked through his hair for the thousandth time and he fervently wished he could just calm the fuck down. Packing is good. Colin's sudden absence would be an excellent time to pack.

Colin reentered the room to see James staring blankly at a pile of clothing stacked on a nearby table. He set the large basket he was carrying down on the bed and pondered the room's seemingly catatonic occupant.

"Jamie?"

"Hmm?"

"You need to eat something, darlin'. Why don't you come over here and see what I've got in my magic basket?"

He heard Colin rummaging through the basket, pulling things out and then dropping them on the bed. James clasped his hands in front of him and recalculated how he was going to fit all the clothing in front of him into one bag. For the tenth time since Colin had gone in search of food. He had to make sure packing was very efficient. He couldn't present himself to the overseer with a thousand bags! That would be bad.

"Jaaaaamie?" Colin chirped at him in a sing-song voice.

"Hmm?"

"You can eat voluntarily, or I can strap ya to a chair and force ya to eat. Your choice!"

He finally tore his eyes away from the laundry and looked over at the bed. Colin had basically transferred the contents of the saloon's refrigerator into his basket. There were sausages, hunks of cheese, tins of cram, a few unrecognizable lumps and several bottles of beer. "What, no whiskey?" Colin laughed at that. "You've a big day tomorrow; no heavy liquor for my boy scout!"

It was pointless to inform Colin that the liver didn't distinguish between heavy liquor and beer. Alcohol was alcohol as far as that marvelous organ was concerned. He moved closer to Colin and watched as his hands flew amongst the various foods spread out before him to organize a plate for James. Once the plate was done, Colin leered at him. That made him nervous; Colin only leered whenever he had something planned.

"Sit, please." Colin gestured to the small space on the mattress that wasn't covered in food. He watched Colin's eyes while settling on the bed. Eyes were supposed to be windows to the soul, but Colin was a crafty rascal. James was never sure if he could get an accurate reading from what he saw dancing behind those greenish irises.

Now his eyes moved to the mound of food Colin expected him to eat. He was fairly certain he wouldn't be able to get any of it down. And that wasn't just because some of it frightened him; nerves and emotional turmoil had destroyed his appetite. "You can't expect me to eat all that. What are those dark lumps? Darling, I appreciate your kind gesture but -"

Colin chose that moment to strike, shoving a large chunk of cheese - at least, he hoped it was cheese - into his mouth. He mmphed a chastisement at Colin and worked at getting the food down. Really, he was too old to be fed. He remembered Catherine joking with him a few years back about hiring cute young girls to feed him grapes and fan him for his thirtieth birthday.

Unfortunately, Colin interpreted the smile that crossed James' face at the memory as encouragement to continue. Nimble fingers plucked one of those disturbing blobs off the plate and advanced toward his mouth. The substance was far too reminiscent of brahmin feces; he backed away nervously. "No, I absolutely refuse to eat - MMPH!" Really, why was he in love with this man? He tentatively licked at the lump. Was that flavor... chocolate? How had Colin managed to...?

"I have my ways, Doctor. In case yer wonderin', it's a bit misshapen due to being transported a ways. The heat wasn't kind to it." Colin watched him swallow the rare delicacy with that disturbing leer. Why did he feel he was being herded toward a cliff? Something wasn't right here.

"And neither was I. You just ate about three times a regular dose of Animal."

Oh... HELL. For as smart as he was supposed to be, his brain apparently went numb around the devious bastard he was involved with. Maybe he could induce vomiting? Stomach acid might destroy the enamel of his teeth, which was very bad. Ok, stay calm. What chemicals were in Animal? He'd researched the chemical composition of the drug not too long after his flight from Colin, but he hadn't been able to determine why. Now he had a disturbing thought as to why that had happened. Maybe, in some part of his mind, he knew he'd return to Colin? Maybe he'd prepared himself for this very eventuality? Preposterous. He felt his heart rate beginning to increase, his temperature begin to rise. Damn, not enough time to counteract the chemical concoction flowing through his veins. Colin was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed smugly against his chest, watching him with a predatory gaze. He tried desperately to offset the encroaching symptoms, breathed slower in a vain attempt to slow his heartbeat, tried to center himself... FUCK, he was aroused.

"Colin Patrick Moriarity! Did we not have a discussion years ago wherein you swore you would NOT drug me ever again?" It was getting harder and harder to maintain focus, every nerve in his body was crying out for the touch of the man in front of him. He was beginning to wonder if it was possible for a penis to become so engorged with blood that it would cause the skin to rupture. "Well now, I don't precisely recall agreeing to that statement. I just apologized for that one tiny slip up. Then I distracted you by suckin' yer face for a half hour." James tried to come up with a suitable rejoinder but the heat buzzing under his skin was bewildering.

He removed his shirt and flung it aside to try to reduce his body temperature, then lounged back against the mattress. Animal's dangerous properties came from the fact that it primarily affected the frontal lobe, responsible for higher mental functions such as determining right from wrong, recognizing future consequences from current actions, and suppressing unacceptable social responses. But in this room, a bizarre microcosm of a twisted society existed. A society of two people, one of whom he was beginning to think was a sociopath. The list of acceptable social responses was considerably longer here. And... goodness, it was entirely too warm in this room! He fumbled with the fastenings on his pants, and hastily tore them off. He was clad in nothing but his underwear now, hooded eyes lazily scanning the room for water. There was nothing to drink but beer that he could see. Cold beer; it would have to do. Before he could lean towards the stack of beer bottles, Colin swooped in and uncapped a bottle, handing it to him. Their fingers touched as he moved to take the bottle, that brief brush of skin flaring the heat in his groin.

To distract himself from his inevitable meltdown in a sexual flame, he tipped the bottle to his lips. Sober James would have nursed the beer for hours; Animal-hazedJames urged him to gulp the brew down as if his life depended on it. Colin watched in awe as he emptied the bottle in less than a minute. A hiss, a clink - now a second bottle of beer was in his hand. It disappeared as smoothly as the first.

He flopped back on the bed, languishing in the haze the combination of Animal and alcohol brought him. Colin opened up a beer for himself, and pushed a third beer into James' hand. He slowly grasped the bottle, analyzing the temperature and weight. It was slightly less cold than the other beers; it was only logical that they should finish the beers in a hurry to avoid a pile of warm, flat beers. Hoping Colin would follow his lead, he guzzled down the third bottle. Then he held a fourth - how many beers had his sociopath brought to their room? Well. It was a shame to waste beer when there were starving children in the world, so he suckled at the aperture of his bottle as the tan liquid cascaded into his willing mouth. He noticed a distinct dampening of neurological input from his extremities now. Determining the exact origin of this numbness would take some work. His brow furrowed as he attempted to determine what was going on.

Colin pushed away from the wall as he watched his Jamie succumb to the influence of Animal. This was a beautiful dance; a strict, logical mind being forced to accept its dark side. The egghead seductively removed his clothing, no doubt to try to cool down. He wasn't surprised to see the half naked boy scout lean towards the mound of cool beers; best help his love to cool down. He tried to conceal his shock as the bottle of beer he'd pressed in the doctor's hand disappeared lightning quick. The second beer vanished just as fast. A third, and fourth vanished. Colin opened up his second beer as he watched James' cheeks flush and muscles release their rigidness. The man sprawled out seductively on the mattress now, breath slowly heaving, fingers twitching, eyelids at half mast. Animal would counter the effects of excess alcohol consumption, so he eased a fifth bottle in the graceful fingers of his mate. James hummed his thanks, and weakly raised his torso up to suck the beverage down.

He had to dodge the empty bottle as James flung it aside. James' sluggish fingers now grasped at the waistband of his undergarments; Colin watched entranced as his amour exposed his beautiful cock to view. The last of his garments flung aside, James sighed his relief at finally being cool. And Colin was rigid with want, every single cell screaming for sexual release. His mind desperately wanted to make him devour the treat that lay sprawled out on the mattress. But James was so... regal. Stretching, moaning, moist. Colin stayed nearby, eyes drinking up every quiver, every sigh. He felt his dominant hand slowly stroke his erection as he contemplated every movement of his quarry. This man would be lost to him forever in a few hours. He remembered Pa railing against how cruel fate could be. It took his mother from him; it took his Jamie from him. With every passing second, his youth was drained from him, rendering him more and more useless.

FUCK that. If this were their last time laying together, it would damn well be a memorable one! Colin scrapped his plans to observe and tore off his own clothing frantically. He'd drown out his pain with the sounds of their passion. It felt as if his reason for living lay tucked away deep in the recesses of that sexy asshole. And also what lay in the man's head, but he'd be damned if he would try to fuck Jamie's ears. He dove for the bottle of lubrication in the pocket of his discarded pants and dumped a healthy amount of the gel onto his member. James was whimpering now, his swollen member leaking - almost as if it was begging for assistance. Colin thought back to the last time the two of them had been as one. It had been soon enough that maybe Jamie wouldn't require preparation. Which was good; he was so desperate for his love's body that he doubted he could be considerate anyhow. He lined the head of his cock up to the flower begging to be pierced and drizzled some more lubrication where they joined, just in case. James arched his godlike body beneath him and keened for attention. Oh yes, his doll would get the attention he deserves.

It was a good thing that none of the rooms in this dump had windows. He didn't want to see the coming of the light, didn't want to think exactly how close it was to sunrise. As he slowly but steadily pushed into James' willing heat, he tried desperately to memorize every single second of this moment. Sadness and lust tore at the walls he hid behind; he finally had to realize that once their separation was permanent, he would never again be whole. It wouldn't be possible for him to feel towards another what he felt for James. Many long, empty years stood between him and death. Sure, he could kill himself, but he didn't feel like spending eternity with Pa in hell. Despite all the wrong he'd done to others over the years, a part of him felt that his Jamie's love had redeemed him. Maybe he'd get to see Ma again, and eventually frolic with Jamie in the clouds with harps and halos and other such bullshit.

He leaned in and savaged James' plump lips, nipping and suckling at them. With the exception of anal sex, blow jobs and analingus, kissing James was his favorite thing to do. As teenagers, they'd spent many hours just kissing. Those were the days when it felt as if they would be together forever. Though he wouldn't have admitted that to James then; he wasn't mature enough emotionally. Below him, James' pink tinged cheeks flushed a darker red. He wondered how many orgasms he'd be able to get from him off a triple dose of Animal. Probably enough to make him useless the next day. Maybe he should have taken that into consideration when lacing the chocolate. It was a toss up between making him suffer through lack of stimulation, and possibly ruining his meeting with the Overseer. Hmm...

Decision made, he angled Jamie's hips upward to thrust more deeply. He slammed into his pleasure button, smirking when James flung his hands back to cling to the headboard with a white knuckled grip. They made relatively little noise together; the protests of the bed drowned out their sounds. James was lost to sense obliterating passion; occasionally he would stop breathing and just quiver urgently. Colin made him breathe again by lightly dragging a finger up the underside of James' cock; the breath he held would push out of him in one strong whoosh. Holy hell, he was grateful for those two beers! Otherwise, he'd be unable to last through this. James was too tight around him, too perfect. His beautiful dirty blonde hair stuck out wildly from his face, those kiss swollen lips were the color of strawberries. He'd give anything for a camera right now! Although he had a notion that James would leave the vault just to kill him for photographing him at such a vulnerable moment.

His thoughts were beginning to become cloudy. He found himself wishing that men could get pregnant; he'd give anything to fill his lover with Irish juice, maybe get a missive from 101 several months later that James was swelling with their child. A voice from the walled off portion of his mind supplied him with the image of a wee baby girl, with James' grayish blue eyes and dark blonde hair and his own crafty smile. To derail those images, he allowed himself to come to completion. His left hand smacked onto the mattress to support his weight, and his right hand hovered around James' shaft, waiting for just the right moment. He closed his eyes, focused on James' smooth channel and the seductive whimpers that escaped him with every thrust. That did it; blinding white energy gripped his brain. He closed his hand tight around James; one hard tug was all it took for the man to come undone. Piercing shrieks ripped from James' throat; he dimly hoped the Paladin didn't come to investigate the noise next door.

With the little energy he had left, he marveled at the amount of semen that was coming out of his lover. He collapsed onto James, feeling the stickiness between them. While Colin was ready to go to sleep, the same could not be said for Jamie, whose cock was still rock hard. He used his waning energy to find his pants. Rummaging around, he found the Jet inhaler he'd stashed in one of the pockets and took a strong shot. Yeah, that was just what he needed. He was ready for round two.

After three hours, James' phallus finally remained flaccid and his mind forced him to sleep. Colin, exhausted, observed his handiwork with pride. He'd had to use all the tools in his arsenal, and several extra huffs of Jet. It took three blow jobs, two hand jobs, and riding James' dick twice before he'd finally been declared the victor over the Animal in boy scout's system. James would have to use sign language tomorrow in his meeting with the Overseer; his voice had cracked and gone out completely about an hour ago. He smirked and snuggled up against James to sleep away their last little bit of time together. His dreams were filled with images of a pigtailed girl with kind eyes, playing doctor with her dolls.

An authoritative pounding ripped Colin out of slumber. During the night, James had tangled his limbs with his bed mate's. Colin was pondering how best to extract himself from this human puzzle when the door opened.

Paladin Cross, in full battle gear, baby strapped to her chest, halted in the doorway. It was really too bad Colin had been forgotten to cover James and himself with a blanket. Cross' eyes took in the scattered empty beer bottles, rotting food, empty Jet inhaler, and discarded clothing strewn across every available surface. Finally, she beheld the two naked, groggy, entangled men on the semen stained mattress. Junior gurgled merrily against her armor as she surveyed the damage. And she smirked. Hopefully he could convince this glorious woman to stay in touch with him once her precious cargo was safely stored underground.

"Good morning, Colin. Looks like you and James had a good time!"

Too early... fuckin' morning people. "Mmh, darlin'... gonna need some help to get him up and ready." Were any of those bottles of beer left? He planned on spending the next several weeks wasted out of his mind. Best to get an early start on it.

Cross stepped into the room and watched with detached amusement as drunken, exhausted Colin pulled away from the comatose doctor. He didn't much care if she saw him in all his glory as he hunted for his clothing and struggled into it. Now the two of them pondered their James while the baby chortled merrily against Cross' chest. She turned to him then and smiled. "Leave this to me. I've been in military service all my life, which means I can bring order to just about any situation. Why don't you go clean up and meet us outside?"

He just nodded and ghosted away. Jet, alcohol and sex were a triple threat. All he could do was head to the showers and hit himself with a brief, cleansing spray before re-adorning his soiled garments and aiming for the exit. Gob was on duty this morning; he pretended not to notice his employer's disheveled appearance as Colin trudged towards his fate. Cross and her crew weren't here yet, so he fished in the pocket of his pants for a packet of cigarettes and fished one out. His lighter was reluctant to spark up; he finally coaxed a light out of it and sucked in his first soothing breath of smoke. He tilted his head up to the sky, and closed his eyes to really hear the desolate whistling of the winds across the landscape of the wastelands. Every day he came out here to the same sights and sounds... but this time, the sounds were so abysmally lonely. His heart shriveled as he heard the saloon door open behind him; the sounds of multiple bags being carried out drifted to his ears. The door swung shut, the light from within the saloon was distinguished. Now he sensed someone standing at both his left and right sides. The larger lump to his right must be the Paladin. He took deep breaths, tried to calm the fear that clawed its way up from deep within. How could he live through this, being separated from his soul? Were he a coward, he'd take a laser pistol to his temple right now. But a Moriarity doesn't back down from adversity.

Cross cleared her throat and broke the silence. "I'm going to go inside to get a bottle of water for the road. Shouldn't take me more than ten minutes. Make the most of it, gentlemen." A sliver of light hit them as the door opened, then slammed shut. The two of them stood, huddling against the rusty railing in front of the saloon. Colin felt a mild pang of guilt about the misery James must be feeling at that moment, but he knew his actions had been necessary. James was far too high strung to approach such a major life change without assistance. What he had done - drugging his love despite a promise he had made - it had been necessary. He knew his Jamie better than he knew himself. James would have locked up and been so tense the next day, his radiant beauty wouldn't have come across to the asshound he sought to live with. Colin struggled to keep back the tears, always cognizant of the silent shape to his left. Though he squeezed his eyelids shut, tears dripped out from beneath them.

James' right hand slipped over and grasped Colin's left. James' thumb stroked over the back of Colin's hand as they watched the beginnings of the sunrise. Suddenly, Colin gripped James and spun him to face him. An electric charge hung between them. Colin dove in and expressed every feeling he'd ever had for the man through a searing kiss. They clung to each other, desperation fusing them together as the sky subtly brightened to announce the new day. They continued to meld as the door to the saloon reopened to admit the Paladin. She cleared her throat as the door shut behind her; the two men stepped guiltily apart.

"It's time to head for the Vault, James."

Colin saw James nod and move to follow her as she headed down the ramp, away from the Saloon. Colin trailed after them, mindlessly. The four of them slowly made their way to the gates of Megaton. Even at this ungodly hour, the gates whirred and gracefully lifted to allow passage to the Wastelands.

The group stepped outside and the gates shut behind them. Cross turned towards Colin, and took a deep breath. "Thank you, Mister Moriarity. We're grateful for your assistance over these last few days."

He nodded at her, mumbled what he hoped was a suitable reply. She set off in the direction of the vault. He turned towards the last person in the party. The two nebulous shadows faced each other, the silence pregnant with meaning. What would he say to his better half?

"Colin." The strained whisper came from the shape he faced. "Don't forget... I will always love you..."

Pain, the likes of which he never hoped to experience again. "I love you too, my Jamie... so much…"

The shape shifted away from him and moved to follow Paladin Cross. He strained to watch them until their forms blended in with the rubble of the Wasteland. He went numb when he realized he couldn't see them any more. It was time for sleep, a lot of sleep. He turned and mindlessly trudged toward the gates to Megaton.

Goodbye, Jamie.