Chapter 6

Loki's head was spinning. His mind couldn't seem to fix on any one thought, or rather, it was trying desperately not to. In a world gone suddenly false and fragile, he half expected the floor to give way beneath him. Even here in his own chambers, he no longer felt safe. He wanted to rage, to smash the insubstantial lies that had been spun around him all his life, to reveal the ugly, maddening truth that would bring it all crashing down.

There was no curse. There never had been. He was…

Thor's hand on his shoulder halted his agitated pacing. "Loki."

He'd forgotten Thor was even there. Loki thought he'd constructed a glamour before they left the Treasure Chamber, but if he had it was long gone, blue skin showing once again in all its hideous glory. Nothing made sense anymore. "It all makes sense now, doesn't it."

"What does?"

He was a monster. "Why I've never fit in." He wasn't Loki Odinson at all. "Why Father always loved you best." He heard the harsh edge of hatred enter his voice, and was powerless to stop it. No, he didn't want to stop it, because even hatred was better than the shifting nothingness.

"I don't think being a Jotun had anything to do with that."

Loki's head whipped around, shock and rage boiling like acid in his soul. "You-" he choked.

"No, I didn't mean-" Thor looked almost panicked, "I didn't mean that! Please, only think-"

"Think?" Loki spat, "I have had my fill of thinking. I have spent half my life trying to break a curse that doesn't exist, trying to cure myself of being a monster, but there's nothing to fix! There's nothing to fix because I. Am. A. Monster!"

"There are no monsters here, Loki, brother-"

"Oho, and that's the ultimate lie, isn't it. 'Brother.'" Loki held up one hand, blue fingers curled claw-like, "Does this look like the brother of any Aesir?"

Thor grabbed his wrist, met his eyes for an eternal second, and defiantly pressed a kiss to blue skin.

"Stop that!" Loki grated harshly, jerking his hand away as if burned. "Stop it! Why do you continue this farce?" As if the knowledge was sufficient a barrier in itself, Loki felt no effect from Thor's kiss, no blushing coolness of returning Aesir appearance. Damn it all to Hel, he would not cry. "I am a Jotun, a monster, one of them, bro- Thor!"

"You are now and will always be Loki Odinson," Thor ground out, shoulders tense. "And you said yourself the Jotun were not always monstrous."

It was almost pitiful, watching Thor try to spar with words. Almost as pitiful as Loki trying to hit the Golden Prince of Asgard, but that didn't stop him. Thor easily redirected Loki's attack, grabbing slender wrists and holding tight.

"Release me!"

"Not until you come to your senses."

"No need to worry, I'm seeing things more clearly now than ever before." Loki snarled.

Thor's jaw set in that stubborn line Loki knew so well. "If you will not listen, then I will show you."

"What- Release me!" Loki sputtered, furious, as Thor turned a deaf ear and dragged him out into torch-lit hallways where potential witnesses were too much a danger to ignore. Railing inwardly, Loki put up the lie once more, his Aesir glamour seeming to burn into his skin. "There is nothing to show, nothing to prove. You are merely lying to yourself if you think that we were ever more than strangers."

"No, you're wrong," Thor said stubbornly, and refused to say any more.

Loki hissed curses and insults at Thor, trying to break Thor's grip on his wrists. If he were only calm enough, he could use his magic to disappear; as things were, he stood a better chance of destroying half the palace than anything else, and himself along with it. The idea was not without merit.

Thor stopped only when they'd reached one of the open-air courtyards tucked away in the palace, golden walls rising up dark and black in the night with only a few scattered stars and nebulae looking on from overhead. The night air was still and silent.

"Whatever insane scheme you're hatching, it will fail." Loki sneered, jerking at Thor's iron hold, letting his disguise drop.

"Maybe," Thor allowed, looking grim in the shadows.

Thor kneeled on the cool grass, dragging Loki with him. Staring the red-eyed Jotun in the face, Thor released one wrist. Loki summoned a dagger and lashed out at Thor, but the warrior prince only shifted to let the sharp blade glance off his armour.

"Why will you not fight me?" Loki all but wailed.

"I will never fight you," Thor declared, even as he brought out his dagger.

Another lie? It felt as if Loki's chest was in a vice. He struggled to breathe, tears blurring his vision. It was too much.

Loki barely flinched when Thor slashed open his palm, near-black blood welled over hated blue skin.

But then Thor released Loki, and brought his dagger up to his own palm, cutting equally deep into warm Aesir flesh.

Loki looked on, stunned, as Thor firmly clasped their hands together, their blood mingling and dripping to the green grass under them. Aesir and Jotun together. "What-" He stared up at the fierce young man opposite him. Deeper than magic, something stirred.

"On Asgard's earth,
I, Thor, swear this oath,
To Loki shall I be ever true,
My clan shall be your kin,
My father and mother thine."

It was an old, rarely used invocation, and Loki was fairly sure Thor was getting parts of it wrong, but… Thor was looking at him, waiting, tense.

The air was heavy with significance and possibilities. It felt as if the Norns themselves were watching. He could reject this. In some ways a life of hate was easier, simpler.

Loki met Thor's gaze and held it. "On Asgard-" his voice broke, and he swallowed, breathing deep.

"On Asgard's earth,
I, Loki, swear this oath,
To Thor shall I ever be true,
My clan shall be your kin,
My father and mother thine."

Thor beamed, and Loki could almost feel the thread of his fate being laid on a new course.

Blood-brothers." Thor said jubilantly. "Witnessed by Asgard Herself."

Loki fought back the lump in his throat, casting his eyes down to their joined hands. The blue was receding, leaving warm peach-coloured skin in its wake. "Thor…"

"I would have you at my back in battle, and at my side in all things else. You are my true friend, my lover, my counselor, and above all, you are my brother."

Breathing deep, Loki clasped Thor's hand like a lifeline, faintly amused as blood squelched wetly. "As you are mine."