A/N: After an absurd stretch of time, I have only a very short update to show for it. My apologies. But please review all the same.

)O(

Lily watches Sev from afar as he hovers on the fringe of a group of Slytherins. They stand around near the Black Lake in tightly-knit packs, talking about Merlin knows what, probably the dark arts.

She is angry; his words had cut her deep, and the pain is still raw. But it also hurts to watch him now. Sev never smiles when he's with his "friends" and that saddens her. Lily misses her best friend sometimes, especially since he continues to slip further away. He brought this on himself, of course, but that doesn't make it any easier to watch.

"Evans," James' voice interrupts her reverie.

"Sorry," Lily turns away from the lake. "What were you saying?"

"We were offering to make you an honorary Marauder!" he says proudly. "We'll give you a nickname, and even tell you our most closely guarded secrets."

"But she's a girl," Sirius complains. "And do you mean all our secrets?"

"We're not twelve anymore, mate," James insists, although they certainly act as if they are at times. "Besides, she's special. And yes, all our secrets. What do you say, Lil?"

She doesn't know what to say. "Is there some sort of initiation or...?"

"Just one thing," Sirius grins mischievously. "You have to give Prongs here a kiss."

"What?" Lily narrows her eyes. Is this all just an elaborate way to convince her to kiss James? "I have a bit more self-respect than that. If you want to kiss me, you'll have to earn it."

"But those are the rules, Evans." Sirius grins wider..

Remus finally speaks up. "Padfoot, let it go. We shouldn't pressure her if she doesn't want to."

"She'll kiss me eventually," James adds, smirking. The subject changes, and it's back to business. "Wormtail, the map?"

The quietest Marauder wordlessly retrieves a piece of parchment from his robes, spreading it out before them. It doesn't look like a map to Lily, not until Sirius taps it with his wand and declares: "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Suddenly it is not a mere piece of parchment at all, but a map of Hogwarts with students' and professors' locations represented by conveniently labeled dots. Lily's eyes widen when said dots begin to move about the castle. The Marauders just grin, clearly pleased with themselves.

"So this is the secret to your ridiculous luck."

"Yep," James beams, briefly glancing toward Remus. "And since tonight's a full moon, you'll also get to witness our most private secret of all."

Remus pales, but says nothing.

"This one's really huge, Evans," Sirius emphasizes. "You can't tell anybody, especially Snivellus. See, Moony has got this furry little problem. . ."

)O(

Lily bolted upright, heart racing, hands grasping blindly in the air for something to hold onto. There was nothing, of course; just a dark room and moonlight pouring through a window. James snored beside her, completely undisturbed. Lily lay down again and tried to go back to sleep, but to no avail.

Eventually, she rose and made her way into the kitchen as silently as she could manage. A quiet curse came from the living room, and Lily went to investigate, which was the moment she found Severus wearing his old bloodstained robes; he was moving around in the dark, trying not to trip over anything. This surprised Lily; he shouldn't even be walking around yet!

"Sev?" she called gently, holding up her lighted wand.

"Lily?" He froze, but then seemed to remember himself. "I'm leaving, Lily. Don't try to stop me. You will be safer this way. I should not have come here." After a brief pause, he asked: "Where is my wand?"

"It's in that drawer, there; James insisted that I hide it from you. I'm sorry." she answered, then: "Severus, where will you go? Are you planning to return to him? Because if so, then I...I don't know if I could forgive you. And I really don't want to lose you again, Sev. I'd forgotten how much I missed you."

"Yet if I did not go to the Dark Lord, I might as well turn this wand on myself." Snape replied calmly, though it took immense effort to steady his voice. Lily was looking at him, concerned. His fingers twitched. The wand clattered to the floor.

"Sit down, Sev, you're shaking."

The stubborn man complied reluctantly and, though he was also starting to breathe heavily now, insisted he would be fine. "'s just residual effects...of the Cruciatus..."

"How many times?" Lily demanded. "How many times did he cast it?"

"I'm not sure; I lost consciousness at some point."

"No, no, I won't allow you to go anywhere like this, Severus. When you can manage to stand for an extended period of time, then we'll discuss it." He knew there could be no arguing with that tone of voice. Snape nodded in agreement. "Good. Now I think we both better get a little sleep, yes?"

Will you return to him, Lily? he thought as exhaustion claimed him, If not for that bloody curse, I would be far away from here, and I would not have to face the reality of you with Potter. Always, remember? Of course not, because I never told you...