Eh, sorry for the late update... Did not realize that this guide was becoming famous!

... And I went camping.

I would appreciate it if you guys read and review: At the bar.

It's a GalexMadge fanfic - there's more to it than stripping and crap. PLEASE read and review! Wow, I sound desperate...but I'm serious...

I think you might fancy it ;)

-A Guide on Girls-
By: Finnick Odair

Thank you for buying this guide which costs $999.99!
-You opened part two and began to read it out loud-
Part Two: What Boys Don't Realize

#1.) When a girl [Johanna Mason] sings "Peacock", she doesn't really want to see your peacock...

"I want to see your peacock-cock-cock! Your peacock-cock! Your peacock-cock-cock...your peacock!" Johanna sang as she sharpened the tip of her axe. "Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock -?"

Smirking, Finnick joined in: "I'll show you my peacock if you show me your zebra-bra..." He winked at her, unzipping his pants.

"What? No way, pervert." Johanna gave him a threatening look, raising her axe.

"Fine. Then show me your octopus! Octopus-pus-pus! Your octo - pus!"

#2.) If you really call a girl beautiful, she'll think you're "decent" - in fact, this is the best way to get her. Being beautiful is better than being hot...

"Katniss, I want you to know that you're my everything! You're more than hot, sexy, or gorgeous... You're beautiful - no, perfect." Peeta said as he caressed Katniss' cheeks while looking under the stars.

Smiling, Katniss kissed his lips.

#3.) Effie T. (and probably a lot of girls) hates boys with bad hygiene. So put on deodorant and chip those nails!

Effie stiffened her nose as Haymitch drank like the sober he was. He smelled like crap, and didn't even bother to put on deodorant that very moment; he smelled like a skunk and he wore the exact same clothes to the Reaping.

... He lost it...

"You smell like shit. Put on a new shirt!"

...

"Where is he?" Katniss asked herself as she waited for Gale.

"I'm here!" said a low voice. As he walked up to hug Katniss, the young girl smelled his armpits by accident...

#4.) Guitarists are sexy. 'Nuff said.

"! Ah,fangirlscreech!" a girl cried out as Finnick started strumming his new guitar. "AhFinnickmarryme!You'resofineIloveyou!"

"Sorry, girl, but get back in line!" Annie shouted from the window, "He's mine!"

"You wish!" said the girl again.

"...Since when did he get so...sexy?" Asked Johanna as she put the axe back on the floor.

"Girl, he is my boyfriend get your skinny butt out of here right now you hear me?"

#5.) When a girl says: "Nothing's wrong..." EVERYTHING is wrong. Just listen to her but don't give any advice. Grab her close and comfort her.

Prim cries, "Please, just go... Nothing's wrong..." she wipes away her tears and tries to smile.

"No, something is wrong..." he sat down next to her, doing nothing except listening. "Everything's going to be okay..."

#6.) Girls love it when you say her name.

"Say my name!"

"...Johanna - "

"Say it louder!"

"Johanna!" Finnick screamed at the top of his lungs.

Smirking, Johanna let him go and stopped strangling him. "That'll teach you not to mess with me. Ah, I love it when they say my name!"

#7.) Girls will never say "I love you" unless you say it first...but that doesn't mean she won't stop from screaming it in her heart.

"I love you - "

"Finally! Do you know how fucking long I've been waiting for you to say those words Gale? Oh, the fuckery!"

"So...do you love me too?"

"Of course I mother fucking love your fucking self you fucking retard! I love you more than your mother fucking mother! Goddamn, I'm so fucking happy right now! I love you!"

And then she starts kissing him.

#8.) Girls absolute HATE IT when you can't keep a promise.

"What the hell! You promised!" yelled Effie at the top of her lungs. Angry, she stomped her feet and snarled at him.

"I'm sorry, babe, but I had more important things to do than - "

All hell broke loose as Haymitch started screaming like a little girl as Effie started strangling him.

#9.) Every girl dreams about her "special someone" during one point in her life, even if they are tomboys. In fact, it'll most likely be about her wedding - include the dress.

Smiling, Prim put on her mom's wedding dress; yes, it was big, so she decided to trim it down a bit. Silently and trying not to giggle, she cleaned up the room and filled the floor with flowers and roses and petals. She put a primrose flower in her hair, thinking about her crush.

"Yes, I do - "

"Prim, what are you doing?" She turned around in shock, staring face-to-face with the boy she was thinking of. His eyes flickered and the sun was shining through the window, making it brighter. Prim blushed a deep shade of red, unable to speak.

#10.) Unless she's a slut, girls HATE players.

-This scene has been removed for certain purposes such as violence-

-Extra stuff-

Singers are sexy

Girls don't like it when you fart

Unless they're shy, girls talk about EVERYTHING with their friends. In other words: she talks about you a lot.

Remember: sense of humor. Girls LOVE guys who're funny!

Girls HATE it when you make fun of Harry Potter

Only make fun of Justin Bieber if she hates him

Learn how to dance

Do stuff for her, but don't be her personal slave

A kiss on the hand with the right timing can be a REAL TURN-ON...unless she beats you up

Girls hate cocky guys who only talk about how hot they are...don't be too confident

When a guy says or does something sentimental, they'll remember it for a very long time.

Next time: what GIRLS don't realize.