Super original title, right? I can't be artsy with story names, sorry. Regardless, I'd like to say a few things before we jump right on in. This is a long-ass author's note and I'm only going to do it once so pay attention people! I love you for it.

1. As per usual, I do not own Harry Potter. I'm not going to follow that with a witty "if I did..." quip. I just don't. I can barely say I own my OC because technically she's still the birth child of oldmate Rowling's characters. So, essentially, all I own is the idea, and it's probably a super common one.

2. I'm aware that oldmate Potter doesn't have a sister. I'm also aware that, if he did, it would change the integrity of the entire story and things would have been a bit shit. But darlings, remember: this is fan fiction. I'm not writing this to gain profit or make people happy, I'm writing it because I wish I were Harry Potter's sister and I knew Remus Lupin in real life. I was honestly gutted at not being accepted to Hogwarts when I turned eleven - you were too.

3. Yes, Remus Lupin is forty years old and my OC is a teenager. I beg you to remember that she is eighteen and a consenting adult. For the love of God, do not flame me with shit like, "that's disgusting he's so old!" Some people like the mature older guy. I'm nineteen and I wouldn't hesitate before pouncing on a buff forty-year-old dude. And considering I heard on the radio the other day that two grade six kids had sex and got pregnant, I think the world has bigger problems than my daydreams. I also know that Tonks and Remus died in Deathly Hallows - in my story they didn't, so pipe down Oliver Twist.

4. You may notice that each chapter has an oddly long title and may or may not have anything to do with what's actually gone on. I'm using lines from songs - it may be the first line or a hook or part of the chorus. If you can guess what song it is (and I do mean "guess", not "Google it") you win a prize! Jury's still out on what the prize is, though. Up to you. I don't know what a suitable prize is on the Internet, I don't use it much.

5. Feel free to "flame me" (that's the term we use on here, right?) if you think my writing is shit. Also if you think my grammar and spelling are appalling. Don't, however, "flame me" if you don't like the idea of the story. In the end, that's down to personal preference, and your personal preference has nothing to do with me. I've read many a retarded fan fiction on here and, rather than putting in my two cents before leaving the page, cursing life and the morons in it, I've just left quietly and left them to their devices. Don't hate on a brother's ideas.

FORWARD

I'm having a pretty terrible day.

I had a fight with my brother, I alienated my best friend, I'm being attacked left right and centre and on top of that, I've lost the man I love for good – if I ever technically had him at all.

But in order to explain these events, I need to go back. Way back.

At the age of thirteen I met my true love. I'm a bit of a pessimist when it comes to romance but I can't argue with the facts. I've seen true love in the people closest to me so I know it's real. I've seen it in the person I'm in love with so I know it's real for me, too. But there's a difference between love and a relationship, and I found that out when I entered into one that was almost entirely devoid of romantic love.

When I was fifteen and realized I was never going to be with the person I was in love with, I was asked out by one of my best friends. Stung by rejection – despite the fact that I hadn't even made a move – I accepted. Two years later and I was still in love with the wrong person and my boyfriend finally figured it out. It was around the time the war ended and it took some reparation to get things back to where they were before we tried to date, but six months went by and we were just like best friends again.

I still hadn't made any ground though, largely due to my crippling fear of actual rejection but also because he was now married with a child.

It all changed, though, when I made one error in judgment.

CHAPTER ONE: SHE SAID, "I'VE GOTTA BE HONEST, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME IF YOU'RE FISHING 'ROUND HERE."

"Hollie?"

It took a moment to register that someone was talking to me. I was staring again. I did that a lot whenever Remus Lupin was in the room.

"Sorry," I grinned nervously. "What were we talking about?"

"You said you had news."

I frowned. "I did?"

Mental blank. I had those a lot, too. I struggled trying to remember what I was meant to be reporting back to the Order, because yes, the Order was still up and running. Despite Voldemort's obvious non-existence, the Death Eaters were still running rampant through the city, causing as much mayhem as possible, trying to take as many people down with them as they could.

Luckily for us, Death Eaters were much more manageable without a noticeable leader. They just floated around starting fires and attacking people at random with no real cause, which was good for us in a way. Although they were far less predictable, they were also stupid.

"You came into the house two days ago talking about how you had fantastic news," Harry reminded me.

"Right," I nodded. "Give me a few minutes and I'll inform everyone."

"Can't have been that good if you've forgotten," Hermione smiled sarcastically. I poked my tongue out at her in response, really highlighting how much I hadn't changed in the faces of all those that had.

Harry was now, for lack of a better word, happy. All the time. He was cheerful as anything. I knew it probably had something to do with Ginny Weasley, whom he had finally started dating on a permanent basis, but it was also to do with the lack of Voldemort in his life. Regardless, it kind of creeped me out. I'd gotten so used to him being a miserable git that his sudden change of demeanour had taken everyone by surprise.

By the same token, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, who had finally started dating, were happier as a result. Hermione was more carefree and less strung-out but had gotten a job at the Ministry of Magic, so her obsession with schoolwork had progressed to an actual obsession with work.

Ron was the same as ever – light-hearted and witty.

I, on the other hand, had remained the same. My own two best friends, my personal answers to Ron and Hermione (although thankfully not dating), were still very much the same. They were more mature, surprisingly enough, but definitely the same.

"HOLLIE!"

"Fuck!" I yelled. "Sorry! About the swearing, I mean. And for not paying attention. The swearing was a knee-jerk reaction."

Remus chuckled lightly. "You're forgiven. Just stop drifting off, we keep asking for input."

"Input on what?"

"On any ideas you might have for future patrols."

I looked around the table. It was just Harry, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Remus and I. There were obviously other order members, but they only really attended meetings that were called for a higher purpose than discussing theoreticals.

"Right," I nodded. "Patrols. Yes. You know, I have no idea why you're asking me."

"You know muggle London the best," Remus shrugged.

"I'm sure Hermione knows it just as well."

She shook her head in response. "You spend most of your time wandering around; I'm surprised you haven't been jumped by rogue Death Eaters by now."

"Hermione," I laughed. "All Death Eaters are rogue."

Remus laughed again. I was sure it was about being polite, given how polite he always was, but the sound made me close my eyes and sigh deeply, savouring it. I know they all noticed, Remus especially, but nobody had ever questioned it in three years of me doing it, so I didn't push the matter.

"I suppose we can all go home then," Remus sighed, pulling together his bits of parchment. The rest of us sat there, eyebrows raised. The only person at the table besides Remus that didn't live in the house on Grimmauld Place was Neville.

"By 'we all'," Remus said. "I mean Neville and myself. I've got a teething baby and a wife at her wits end waiting for me at home."

My heart sank slightly as he mentioned Teddy and Tonks but I smiled and got out of my seat, stretching and yawning widely. "Enjoy that. In the meantime, I've got coffee plans."

"It's eleven o'clock!" Ron said, clearly horrified at the idea of being anywhere besides bed at eleven o'clock.

"Thanks for that, Alice Braithwaite Goodyshoes," I grumbled. "People do go out after eleven sometimes."

Ron stared blankly at me. "I'm not even going to try to understand that reference."

I shrugged in response, walking through the hallway to grab my coat and make a swift exit before –

"Wait, Hollie, I'll walk out with you!"

Too late.

Remus smiled at me as he grabbed his own coat and put it on. It wasn't quite as tattered as his old one due to the removal of the anti-werewolf legislation making it easier for him to keep a steady job, but he still had a family to provide for and his options were still limited.

"Where are you off to? Is there a place open for coffee this late?"

"Of course," I nodded as we walked into the chilled air. It was February so winter was on its way out but it was still definitely scarf-and-woollen-gloves weather.

He laughed. "And where might that be?"

"Stokers. It's in London in one of the side-alleys. Brilliant pancakes and better coffee."

"Who do you go with?"

At that moment, my mobile phone vibrated. It had been a stretch trying to get Seamus and Dean to use them, having worked without muggle technology for so long, but they'd finally decided to do it for my own sanity. The text was short – "we can't make it".

"Nobody," I sighed, stopping in my place and starting to turn around. "I've been cancelled on."

"Well wait a minute," Remus grabbed my arm. "I could use a nightcap before I go home. Mind if I join you?"

I opened my mouth to respond but nothing came out immediately. Coffee with Remus? I hadn't so much as had breakfast with Remus Lupin alone, and that's something you do with grandparents and estranged aunts (or so I thought).

"Uh…"

Remus shrugged. "It can't do much harm, right?"

Not to you, I thought to myself.

"Of course not," I smiled, grabbing his forearm and apparating without warning.

Stokers was a quaint café open until two o'clock in the morning on a Friday and Saturday night. There was an open fire sat in the middle of the room, much like a bonfire, and comfortable polished benches scattered around the room. It was beautiful and warm and usually a source of relaxation for me. That night, however, stress was high.

We both ordered – cappuccino, considering that was my regular order and Remus didn't drink coffee often – and sat there in silence, Remus looking around happily and me sitting stiffly wringing my hands in my lap.

"Are you nervous?"

"Yes."

The word came out before I had a chance to think about it and I immediately regretted it for the pleasantly confused smile that graced Remus's face.

"You are?" He asked. "Why would you be nervous?"

Again, I sighed. "We don't do this, Remus. We don't sit down and have coffee. We don't even spend time alone. Harry always admired you and thought of you as family but it's a little more complicated than that for us."

He nodded, thoughtful. "I see why you would think that. But I do want you to be able to think of me as family, Hollie."

At this, I scrunched up my face in both pain and frustration. I'd forgotten how perceptive Remus Lupin always was and how he could read emotions on a face like I could read words on a page. It was becoming less and less of an innocent conversation and he realised that now.

"You don't want to think of me as family?"

I bit my lip. Suddenly I was thinking back to a conversation I'd had with Seamus only two weeks prior.

"You should tell him."

"Tell him what?" I laughed. "Tell him that, despite his wife and child, I am madly in love with him and I want him for myself? That's a ludicrous idea!"

Seamus shrugged. "Why? You're eighteen now, you're out of school, you're more attractive and mature than you were when you were fifteen –"

"Excuse me, you were quite happy to date me at fifteen!"

"But I was also fifteen," he pointed out.

"Touché."

"Just tell him. You'll feel better."

"Or I'll be rejected," I countered. "And I'll feel worse for a really long time."

He laughed and shook his head at me. "Of course he'll reject you – he's married! But you'll at least have the comfort of knowing that he knows and you'll be able to move on."

I never thought that conversation would suddenly be valid but there I was, faced with a choice. Do I tell Remus how I feel after five long years of hiding it shamelessly, taking some chance of closure for myself? Or do I leave it be?

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Remus asked. "You're always thinking so hard."

"I'm in love with you, Remus."

For the second time in five minutes, my brain-to-mouth filter had failed me. I slapped my hand over my mouth the second it slipped out and Remus's jaw dropped. "What?"

I clenched my teeth. "In love. Me. With you."

Silence.

A couple of things before we finish up:

This is going to be long. At least, I hope it will be. I usually have trouble drawing things out and not trying to fit fifty events into one chapter. And please be assured that, although it doesn't seem like it now, this story does have an actual plot apart from being a "love story" - please note the inverted quotes.

I have no idea what normal chapter length is. This is about two thousand words and I didn't even write essays that long in my first year at university so I thought it'd be okay. It may be too long or too short - I don't know.

I'm not going to beg for reviews. I'm writing this for me and not public gratification. If you have any ideas on how I can improve this or you want to guess the song title or whatever, please feel free, but don't feel obligated. And don't post those ridiculous ones that just say, "NEXT CHAPTER PLZZZZ!" I will post it when it's written. This may be tomorrow or next week or next month. Please be patient; uni is just about to start up again and I plan on actually studying.