Title: Infinitely Yours

Author: Dark Angel Kaos

Fandom: Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Pairings: Yamamoto Takeshi x Gokudera Hayato (YamaGoku/8059)

Rating: M

Warnings: language, characters death, suicidal actions.

Genre: angst, romance,

Disclaimer: Don't own!

Summary:

A/N: Written for the Our 8059 third anniversary project~! No specific theme so I went a bit angsty on this one.

Enjoy!

"Ne, Gokudera we'll be together forever right?" vibrant hazel eyes locked with brilliant emerald and the latter looked away, unable to stare into those intense hazel depths…and lie.

"Yeah," Gokudera would always say but deep down inside he knew it. They would never be together 'forever' as that word didn't exist in their world. Forever was something that happened in fairytales along with happy endings. There would be no happy ending for them. Yamamoto would die from his heart disease and he would live on. He would leave him to wonder the earth alone until he too died. Nothing could change that fact.

Yamamoto smiled that particular smile that always melted Gokudera's ice cold heart. "Haha I knew it," he held on to Gokudera's hands and pulled him into a tight embrace. "You'll never lie to me."

Gokudera felt the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes but he refused to let them fall. 'It's not fair.' He kept repeating the words over and over in his mind. Fate was too cruel. How could they take away the future baseball star before his life even reached anywhere? He was just seventeen years old for god sakes! Too young to die from a stupid thing such as a heart disease.

"Gokudera how about we go to the amusement park after I get released from here?" there was a huge grin on Yamamoto's face as he said this. As if he was anticipating the fun they would have together once he was free from his hospital bed. "We'll ride the horses, the tea cups, the bumper cars…oh and the roller coaster too! I know how much you love that ride. I personally would love going on the Ferris wheel and then once we reached the top we'd kiss. Romantic huh?"

Yamamoto went on and on about all the places he wanted to take Gokudera to and Gokudera just nodded and hummed to his suggestions. He hid his face in Yamamoto's chest listening to his steadily beating heart.

The same heart that would fail Yamamoto one day.

A lone tear streaked down his cheek at the thought. He knew Yamamoto was trying to lighten the mood but it wasn't helping. His tears continued to flow one by one, slowly and sloppily down his cheeks. It was just too heartbreaking. He knew what Yamamoto was saying was a bunch of empty promises, he knew yet he couldn't help but put his hopes in them. He couldn't help but hope that Yamamoto would get better soon and that the two of them could hang out like they always did. Was it wrong just to wish for his full recovery?

'Wishes never come true…no matter how much I wish for it, it won't happen.'

He knew no matter how much he wished for Yamamoto's recovery it wouldn't happen. He knew…but he couldn't come to grips with it. Tears spilled uncontrollably from his eyes and he gripped on to Yamamoto for dear life as he cried his eyes out. He knew. Yamamoto knew…there was no way he would be discharged from the hospital. His heart disease was in a critical state. Yamamoto was going to die.

"It's alright Gokudera," Yamamoto's voice was a calming whisper. He treaded his hand through Gokudera's slightly spiky silver hair while the other rubbed small circles across his back. "It'll be alright just you see."

After a while Yamamoto got Gokudera to calm down. The two then spent their time sitting by the window and looking up at the stars making wishes and taking about mundane things, until the nurse came in announcing that visiting time was over. Gokudera was a bit hesitant to leave but with a promise that he would be back tomorrow he finally left.

Yamamoto smiled as Gokudera and the nurse left the room and once he was alone, he let his tears fall. He gripped his pillow and hid his face in it to muffle the sound of his cries.

"Please god…please don't take me away from Gokudera," he whispered his small wish to the darkness that plagued his room. "I want to be with him forever…please…"

~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~

Just as he promised, Gokudera was back the next day. He came exactly after school ended and was in time to see Yamamoto's dad – Tsuyoshi – leave. They shared a few words and Tsuyoshi thanked him for being such a good friend to his son all these years. Gokudera didn't like how the words were phrased. It sounded as if his father was already giving up on his son's health.

"Next month is his eighteenth birthday right? How about we plan a small surprise party for him here," Gokudera heard himself say.

That seemed to help brighten up Tsuyoshi face. He smiled and his wrinkles cut deeper into his face. "I'm sure Takeshi would love that," he grinned happily despite the tears that burned the corner of his eyes. "Thank you, Gokudera-kun, Takeshi is lucky to have a loving friend like you."

They said their goodbyes and he left. Gokudera made his way down to Yamamoto's room. He slowly opened the door and stepped in, seeing Yamamoto in bed reading a book. The sight made him smile.

"This is the first time I've seen you looking so studious, baseball baka," he smirked as he moved closer to where Yamamoto laid. "So what're you reading?"

A bright smile immediately took over Yamamoto's face at Gokudera's voice and he placed the book down, which turned out to be a manga.

"Ah…history of ancient Japan?" he offered with a grin.

Gokudera saw the cover of the book and snorted. "History of ancient Japan my ass," he picked up the book and scanned through the contents. "Its manga!"

"It's a historical manga," Yamamoto added with a chuckle.

Gokudera pouted and Yamamoto thought of how cute he was. "Whatever," he took off his bag and took out a couple of cards. "These are from our classmates."

Yamamoto chuckled as he took the cards from the easily angered boy. From the looks of it most of the cards may have been from the girls in their class. He checked them. 'Yup, mostly girls here.' He added them to the pile he had on the ground. There were almost two knapsacks filled with 'get well' cards. And more were coming in daily.

"Maybe I should write a thank you note or something," he mused as he stuffed the last card in the to-read-when-Gokudera-leaves pile. "To let them know I appreciate the gesture."

Gokudera snorted. "Oh please don't bother," he made himself comfortable on the left side of Yamamoto's bed. "That will only make their heads swell."

A smile crossed Yamamoto's face at what Gokudera said. "Ah Gokudera is so cute when he's jealous!"

Red stained Gokudera's cheeks. "I'm not jea–"

Before Gokudera could finish what he said Yamamoto sealed his mouth in a kiss. The kiss was soft and sweet, nothing like the frantic ones they used to share in the past. But he didn't mind it. The kiss felt wonderful and he drowned himself in that feeling. They pulled away after a while and Gokudera settle himself on the bed, snuggling closer to Yamamoto. He felt safe as Yamamoto held him in his arms and he fell into a light slumber like that. Hoping that when he woke up, they would be in Yamamoto's bed at his house.

~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~

Gokudera hummed as he wrote down what they would need for Yamamoto's surprise birthday party. It was now two weeks before his birthday and he was excited, so was Tsuyoshi. They had the plans in order and had even gotten the permission from the hospital to use an empty room there for the party. Things were also looking up for Yamamoto. According to the doctors Yamamoto's heart was stabilizing and he might even be discharged in two months. That was wonderful news to him and even terrific news for his father who was crying and giving thanks for his son's returned health.

'I might be getting a little ahead here,' he thought as he packed his bag and left the classroom. 'The party isn't till two weeks. I have plenty of time to get these items so I don't need to buy them now. Besides Yamamoto is waiting for me.' He smiled at that.

He raised his head at the blinding sun that shone brightly up ahead and a smile crossed his face. "Everything is getting better."

~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~

His face was as white as a sheet when he heard the news from the doctor. He was confused. He was pissed. He was livid!

"What the fuck do you mean by that?" Gokudera yelled not caring that they were in a hospital. He was fucking freaking out and rage was rising by the second. Weren't things getting better for them? Why did it get fucked over now? Why fucking now? "Don't give me that fucking crap! You said he was getting better! How can his heart be failing him now, you shitfaced doctor?"

"Gokudera-kun please calm down," Tsuyoshi tried to restrain him but he escaped his hold. "Gokudera-kun!"

Gokudera gripped the doctor by the front of his lab coat. "Fix whatever the fuck you did to him!"

The doctor cleared his throat, not one bit intimidated by the way Gokudera was handling him. "We're doing that right now. He's being monitored 24/7 by our very best cardiologists. We're doing our best to keep his heart rate from falling any lower. Please trust in our abilities."

Tsuyoshi finally managed to pry Gokudera's hands off the doctor's coat and steered him towards the waiting area where he soon broke down crying. He wished over and over that Yamamoto would get better. That was the only thing he wished for with all his heart.

He wasn't allowed to see Yamamoto for four days after his emergency surgery but when he was finally able to see him, the sight of his weakened bedridden form made his heart clench painfully. Yamamoto was half the person he was, maybe even less as almost all the vitality had left his eyes. They were glossy and unfocussed, a clear sign that he was being overstuffed with drugs.

"Hey Yamamoto, you remember right?" Gokudera held on to Yamamoto's limp right hand. The beeps of the multitude of machines he was attached to echoed in the room. "We'll be together forever right?" Tears were spilling hard and fast down his cheeks. "Forever…I'll be with you forever. So please…please come back to me." He leaned down and placed a small kiss on his forehead. "…I love you."

~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~

Yamamoto died two days later.

He never made it to his eighteenth birthday.

When Gokudera heard the news he was in shock. He remembered nothing that happened during the few days leading up to Yamamoto's funeral, which was two days before his birthday. It was like his brain stopped working. When his mind finally caught up to him he was standing before the cemetery where they was about to lower the coffin. He felt so many things in that one instant but the most dominant feeling was the overwhelming sadness he felt from losing someone who was his other half. His heart ached and it felt as there was a huge gaping hole that would never again be filled. To him time had stopped.

He vaguely remembered being forced to leave the cemetery with his sister. It wasn't his fault he was standing there unmoving for over five hours. They had buried his heart down there and he couldn't survive without it. He couldn't be separated from his heart as he would die. They just didn't understand that.

His sister – Bianchi – had even taken to staying at his apartment to help him cope but it just irritated him. She only managed to last a few weeks.

On the day of Yamamoto's birthday he found himself wondering back to Yamamoto's grave where he stayed there for the whole day, just looking on in disbelief. He couldn't come to grips with the fact that Yamamoto was gone. It just didn't feel real to him. He was half convinced that it was a bad dream but whenever he woke up knowing that Yamamoto was only alive in his dreams, it broke him.

He never cried once.

It surprised even him. But for some reason his tears refused to fall. It was like his tear glands had dried up on the day he heard about Yamamoto's passing. He wasn't the same after losing Yamamoto and it became obvious to most of the people around him. His sister tried her best to help him but he just ignored her. He basically ignored the whole world and retreated to his apartment.

Four months had passed and still he was a complete wreck. He managed to graduate high school and instead of going on to collage he got a job at a local café as a waiter. It was relatively close to his apartment so that meant he wouldn't run into much people. He had been trying to avoid the people who knew him as much as he could ever since that little accident he had two months ago, where he was hospitalized for overdosing on sleeping pills. It wasn't as if he was considering suicide, sure it popped into his mind more than once but he wasn't weak. Plus Yamamoto would have probably kicked his butt out of the afterlife if he found out that he killed himself to get there. It was just an accident that he overdosed. He was having problems sleeping and had taken one too many to help get his eyes shut.

After taking his fourteenth pill he had passed out, only to wake up a few days later in a hospital bed. He saw his sister there crying and yelling how stupid he was for trying to kill himself. Even Tsuyoshi was there and he looked sad – or was it disappointed – that he attempted suicide. He explained to them that he wasn't trying to kill himself but no one believed him. Not that he cared everyone had already written him off as a nut job. It turned out his sister found him there in his bed with a half bottle of sleeping pills in his hand. If she was just a few minutes late, he would have been on his way to join Yamamoto.

"Oi Gokudera, clean up on table four!"

Gokudera turned his now dull emerald eyes towards his boss. "Yeah on it," he made his way over with his tray to take up the plates. There was one person sitting around the table and he didn't pay any attention to them. That was until the person called out to him. The voice was so familiar and he looked down. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Yamamoto sitting there. 'Yama…moto?' He blinked and the image disappeared. It wasn't Yamamoto, it was his dad.

"I haven't seen you in a while. How are you doing Gokudera-kun?"

"Fine," Gokudera replied as he took up the used dishes off the table, placing them on his tray. "I have to go back to work now, excuse me."

"Gokudera-kun please wait," Tsuyoshi got up. "I want to talk to you."

"I'm on the clock now," was Gokudera's only reply. He wanted to get away as quickly as possible.

"I'll wait until you're done."

And he did wait. He was there until Gokudera's shift was over. They walked out the café side by side towards the direction of Gokudera's home. The silence hung heavy for a while and no one seemed to want to break it but Tsuyoshi finally got the courage to start the conversation.

"Gokudera-kun," he began. They stopped below the stairs leading up to Gokudera's apartment. "Please forget about my son."

Emerald eyes widened in shock. 'What did he just say…?'

"You need to move on and stop lingering in the past. It's not good for you," he was crying now as he said this, pleading with him to just let Takeshi go. "I'm sure Takeshi would say the same thing. He would want you to be happy, so please Gokudera-kun, forget about Takeshi and focus on your happiness. Stop being bound to the past and move on. You're like a son to me and I don't want to see you hurt anymore. Please Gokudera-kun, Takeshi is gone and he's not coming back."

Gokudera was quiet throughout the speech. His hair hooded his eyes and he turned away from Tsuyoshi. "I know that," the words were low. "Yamamoto was my happiness. Without him all I'll ever feel is sadness and regret."

He walked off before he heard anything else that he didn't want to hear. Tsuyoshi sighed as he wiped his tears. He knew nothing he said would make Gokudera forget his son, but he had hoped. Gokudera was too stubborn; holding on to the memories of his son would only cause him pain. He just hoped that Gokudera would be able to let go of them and finally move on.

~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~

'How could he say that to me?' Gokudera found himself sitting on a park bench, staring off into space for who knows how long. He didn't want to go home yet, fearing that Tsuyoshi would still be there waiting for him. But he should be gone by now as it had been a while since Gokudera wondered to the park.

The night had already fallen yet he refused to move. All he could think about was what Tsuyoshi said to him. How could he have said that? Was he that much of a mess that he needed to forget Yamamoto just to live a normal life? How could he forget Yamamoto? That was like asking him to stop breathing.

He clenched his hands to fist and laid them on his lap. 'I can't do that, there's no way I can do that.' He felt drips of water on his hands and idly wondered if it was raining. To his surprise it was his tears. 'I'm crying? Why?'

His tears continued to fall down his cheeks and he couldn't control them. It was like they were falling on their own accord. They were the tears he kept bottled inside. Now they were finally finding their outlet.

"Yama…moto…" he leaned forward and hid his face on his lap. "Why…? Why did you have to leave…?"

With his tears as his only comfort, Gokudera hugged himself as he cried his heart out. He sat there crying for almost the whole night. By the time he got up it was after one in the early morning. His eyes were swollen and red while his nose was stuffy with snot.

"I look like a mess," he complained as he wiped his face in his gray T-shirt. "Better go home and sleep this off."

He was still using his shirt to wipe his face as he exited the park. The place was quiet and no one was around so he didn't feel the need to be aware of his surroundings. That was a big mistake. Just as he turned the corner a car came speeding down in his direction. The driver of the vehicle seemed to be drunk as the car was swerving in a way it normally wouldn't. Gokudera barely had time to notice the car before he was flung a few feet into the air. His body fell back on the trunk of the car before it slid off, falling to the ground with a sickening thud. The car stopped and the driver came out looking extremely panicked when he saw Gokudera lying there in a bloodied heap. With a panicked mind he pulled out his cell and dialed 911.

'It…hurts…' the words tried to make it past his lips but he only managed to cough up blood. 'Am I…dying?' He would have laughed if he could but it hurt to even breathe. His body was twisted in a position that didn't seem natural and it seemed as if most of the bones in his body were broken. He faintly heard sirens in the distance but it was getting harder to stay awake. His body had numbed and he suddenly felt really cold.

The paramedics were at his side and they carefully got him on the stretcher, but he couldn't tell if he felt the shift. They hurried with him to the ambulance and placed a breathing mask over his nose and mouth.

"Stay with us son," he heard one of them say. "What's the diagnostics?"

"His right lung is damaged, also his kidney, liver and large intestines," one of the nurses said as she ran tests. "He has a couple of fractured and broken bones. Also his windpipe is crushed. He has lost too much blood."

"Shit," the doctor internally cursed. "This is bad."

They were now attaching him to various machines as they tried their best to save his life, but he had already given up. His eyes were dull and lifeless and his breathing was getting shallower, even with the help of the respiratory machine. He felt a familiar presence and struggled to look beside the doctor who was trying frantically to help him. His eyes frantically widened and tears flooded them when he saw Yamamoto sitting there staring at him.

'Yama…mo…to,' his tears ran down his cheeks and he tried to reach out to where Yamamoto sat but his hand refused to move.

"Doctor, his heart rate is dropping," a nurse in the ambulance said in a rush. "His lungs are also failing him."

The doctor present gritted his teeth. "We need to do an emergency surgery right away," he reached for a pair of gloves and then patted Gokudera on his head. "Stay strong son, don't give up." He took Gokudera tears as a sign of him not wanting to die and he wanted to do all that he could to save him.

Gokudera continued staring forward at Yamamoto who stared back at him. He wanted to call out to him but his mouth wouldn't open. His vision faded and it was a clear sign that they were putting him to sleep to do the surgery. A small smile crossed his face as his emerald eyes closed, never to be opened again. Yamamoto got up and walked towards him. He stood before Gokudera as they tried to keep his heart from failing, but it was too late, Gokudera was already gone.

"Doctor…time of death, 1:57," the nurse said in a solemn tone. She placed her hand on the now grief stricken doctor's coat. The stench of blood was everywhere but she was used to it. She was used to seeing patients die on t he operating table, but that didn't mean that she didn't feel anything at their passing. "We couldn't save him."

The hand on his shoulder acted as an anchor for him. He failed to save the young man's life, just as he failed to save that young man who died from a heart disease four months ago. The regret and pain was eating him up, making him question his qualification as a doctor.

Yamamoto reached out and took the hand that wanted to reach out to him. He pulled the hand towards him, holding a sleeping Gokudera in his arms. With one last look at the pale and bloodied vessel that was now covered by a white blanket, he phased out of the moving vehicle, disappearing into the night.

~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~

Gokudera woke up seeing nothing but light. He blinked in an attempt to adjust to the brightness. 'Am I in the hospital…or am I dead?' he figured it was the latter because he felt no pain. Nothing hurt, he just felt strangely comfortable so he closed his eyes once more.

"You're awake aren't you Gokudera?"

Emerald eyes snapped open at the familiar voice. He sat up instantly and turned to where he heard the voice from. There he saw Yamamoto standing before him wearing the suit he had on when he was buried. He got up and walked over to him. His whole body was trembling as he reached one hand up to touch his face. When he felt his skin against his he internally calmed down and tears burned at the corner of his eyes.

"I'm dead aren't I?" he asked as he ran his hands over every inch of Yamamoto's face, reacquainting himself with his lover.

Yamamoto nodded. "Yeah…" there was a sad look in his chocolate eyes. "I never expected that we'd be together this soon…"

Gokudera grabbed his cheeks and pulled. "You idiot! How did you think I felt when you…when I heard you were gone…" he tried to hold back his tears but one managed to escape his hold and it trailed down his left cheek. "How can you say that to me?"

At Gokudera's tears Yamamoto pulled him into a hug, holding him close like the precious person he was. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Let's just forget all of that now, we're finally together again." A huge grin crossed his lips. "We'll be together forever."

A small smile crossed Gokudera's face. "Yeah, forever," he hadn't expected something like his death happening but he didn't care, as long as he was reunited with Yamamoto. "Just like we promised."

Yamamoto smiled, leaning closer to Gokudera. "Yeah, forever."

They sealed their promise with a passionate kiss.

~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~oOo~

A/N: This story practically wrote itself. No lie….it just hit me and I had to write it…practically held me captive (=A=)". First I was thinking vampire-themed for the ending but my friend was like "too cliché" so I settled for double-death kind of thing (.)"…ok I'm way too morbid (/)! Well, thank you all for reading =3. I hope it was up to your tastes even though it was a bit on the sad side TT^TT

8059 all the way! XD

Ja na!

Kaos~