Interview With A Sackville-Bagg
Chapter One: Rudolph Sackville-Bagg
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Yeah it's sad. Plus, this is a little fun story that is paired with 'From London With Love' and 'Through Midnight Eyes' so be prepared to see references now and then.
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Why yes? Hello there! Welcome to our half hour television segment of 'Interview With A Sackville-Bagg'! Every episode we will have the pleasure to meet and chat with a certain member of the Sackville-Bagg family. Tonight's guest is everybody's favorite gentleman vampire, Rudolph Sackville-Bagg! Ah...yes, we all know you're excited but seriously...we need you to stop clapping and screaming now. You're going to scare him away!
Rudolph: (Enters carefully as if he's afraid someone is going to jump him.)
Welcome to the show Rudolph! We're honored that you decided to come on!
Rudolph: Yes...um... (Eyes a certain girl sitting in the front row) Is she alright? It looks like foam is starting to come out of her mouth...
Hm...what? OH! AH! SECURITY PLEASE REMOVE THE GIRL WITH THE WEIRD FOAM PROBLEM FROM THE SHOW!-Yeah sorry about that Ruddy, she's simply suffering an overdosing of hot dreamy vampire sighting.
Rudolph: I guess I'll take that as a compliment! But I wouldn't call myself 'hot' or 'dreamy'. I'm a monster of the night with a curse ancient even to your God.
Trust me, there are plenty of girls in this world who are drooling at your very presence right now. And not just in this room, all around the world because this television show is LIVE! Now...anyway, why don't you tell us a little about yourself, Rudolph?
Rudolph: (Slightly horrified at the image of girls drooling over him) Er...well...there isn't much to say about myself other than-
Random fangirl in the audience: TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!
SECURITY! Heh, sorry about that. That girl should be ashamed of herself. Everyone is fully aware you wouldn't do such a thing. Your brother on the other hand...!
Rudolph: (Gasps, slightly offended) Gregory has been on your show?
Uh..no, but when he is, he will most likely rip his shirt off on demand. Unless...you want to do that too and show all those Gregory fangirls you are just as good as him?
Rudolph: I would never! I have come through a fine line of respectable men and Father wouldn't approve of that at all! Besides...I have a girlfriend.
Your Daddy doesn't have to know! Oh yeah? You have many girlfriends from what I've been seeing around . Aren't you the little player? Is it true you dated Tony's sister and cousin at the same time?
Rudolph: (Frowns) No, those rumors are false.
Okay...so who is your girlfriend?
Another crazy fangirl: I'LL KILL HER!
Rudolph: (sighs) It's complicated...you see, after I was turned into a mortal I was sent to London with the rest of my family and we haven't had contact since...hey, wait a second, why am I a vampire now? What's going on?
Since I am the creator of the show, I can do anything I want. I turned you back into a vampire just for the special occasion of this show. I already know about your girlfriend seeing as I kinda created her too. She sends her love and hopefully you'll be reunited soon.
Rudolph: Really? (Smiles, excited) What else did she say? How is everyone doing? Is Tony being bullied by those guys again? Is Rookery still floating around?-
No, shut up. You'll find out in a different story. NOW, I have some questions here on my trusty index cards. Care to answer them?
Rudolph: Sure...as long as they're not too inappropriate.
Looks like question number one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine and ten are out! Question eleven; What is your favorite color?
Rudolph: I like dark colors...like, black...and navy blue.
Interesting! What about ruby red like your eyes?
Rudolph: Why does everyone describe my eyes as 'ruby'? Yes, I know they're red but what's so special about them? (Pauses) Forget I said that.
(Absolute silence)
Creepy girl #1: RED EYES ARE SO FREAKIN SEXYYY!
Creepy girl #2: I WANT TO STARE INTO YOUR VAMPIRE EYES FOREVER AS YOU SINK YOUR LONG FANGS INTO MY NECK!
Creepy girl #3: Rudolph, bite me!
Creepy girl #4: No, bite me!
This is why you don't ask any questions. This is why I am the only one to ask questions.
Rudolph: I apologize. I didn't know they were going to react the way they did. Perhaps I should leave and come another time when they calm down...?
NO! Do you realize how long it got me to get you on this show? Tony Thompson is not the most reliable messenger. Sit your temporary vampire ass down and answer more questions for us curious fans.
Rudolph: (Sits back down) Alright. What's the next question?
Question twelve; Why are you so much better than Edward Cullen?
Rudolph: Who is Edward Cullen? I never heard of him.
Edward Cullen: I LOVE BELLA, LEAVE ME ALONE (sparkles out of the room)
Okay...so, anyway...question thirteen; If you weren't a vampire, what mythical creature would you like to be?
Rudolph: I wouldn't want to be any at all actually...
Oh come on, pick one!
Rudolph: A mermaid.
Are you kidding me?
Rudolph: You said pick one.
You could have chose a werewolf but you chose a mermaid? You'd be a merman by the way...hopefully you don't want to be a girl too.
Rudolph: No I am very happy with my gender. I just wasn't thinking and picked the first thing that popped into my head. Sorry for all the confusion.
Don't be sorry, Rudolph, it's adorable when you get all flustered.
Rudolph: Are you flirting with me?
No...I'm just extremely friendly.
Rudolph: (Shrugs shoulders) Next question?
Right! Next question...ah! It seems it's time for our game of 'this and that'. I say two words, could be anything from an object, person or place and you have to choose one. Got it?
Rudolph: Seems decent enough...
OKAY! QUICK! Cheese or Hamburgers?
Rudolph: Oh um...cheese?
Rainbows or kittens?
Rudolph: Kittens.
Elizabeth or Megan Fox?
Rudolph: Elizabeth of course!
Good boy...here's a cookie.
Rudolph: I don't eat cookies since you turned me back into a vampire. Once I'm human again maybe I'll take your offer.
Game over. Now, (Turns towards crowd) I have a challenge for all of you! It's your time to ask your own questions to our dear Rudolph Sackville-Bagg. Simply write it in a review and send it! All questions will be featured in the next live special we have with Rudolph. Doesn't that sound fun?
EVERYONE IN THE UNIVERSE: YESSSSS!
Rudolph: Oh my, I think I should be afraid.
Probably! Until next time guys! Bye! (Waves) Rudolph, wave.
Rudolph: (Waves) Until the night.
A/N: No, I'm being serious. Send your questions in using a review so that in the next chapter Rudolph can answer them. Oh, and be nice about them! Address him as, Mister Rudolph Sackville-Bagg or as Elizabeth likes to call him, Ruby eyes. He really likes the politeness. All jokes aside, do you like the idea? I decided to create a little side project that collaborates some of my little vampire stories together.