Hooray for more crack pairings~! Well…I really don't know if this IS one, but I haven't seen many supporters of it here, maybe they're somewhere else…but whatever HI HERE YA GO HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

/=+=/

"Serious? They didn't do anything last night?"

"Nope! Mein bruder just left him and slept on the couch! I even gave them the opportunity of being alone for anything to happen!" Gilbert sighed. "Freaking Christ, he needs to get laid or something!"

"I know, right?"

Never mind the fact that he was there mainly to annoy her and Specs, this was the only thing that Gilbert and Elizabeta seemed to agree on. Ever since they first met, Ludwig and Feliciano were clinging together like glue on paper (more on Feli's side than the other way around) and everyone saw the connection was getting to be more than just friends. But no matter what they do, be it Elizabeta or Gilbert or even Kiku, they just like to stay FRIENDS. What's the big deal?

"Maybe we're not trying hard enough…" Elizabeta rubbed her chin. "I know! We need to set them up on a date!"

"Another one? The last time we did that, Alfred intervened and almost blew up the restaurant that they were in. Not going to work." Gilbert shook his head. "Let's keep it home."

"Oh, like we should invite them over!" She stated. "And then we'll cook up something that Feliciano would like and say that Ludwig made it!"

"Let me handle that dish. You and Specs sort out everything else out." Gilbert grinned. "Living with Ludwig and a frequently visiting Feliciano, I know exactly what he likes."

"I'm not risking it. I'm handling it." Elizabeta stated. "After we tell Roderich about what we're doing."

"Whatever, whatever. You're totally being unawesome right now."

/=+=/

Roderich was surprisingly more than willing to let this all happen. He told them that he was going to call them over while they handle the rest. There was a bit of an argument between the both of them but Elizabeta forced him to give up with that goddamn frying pan of hers. It scared him enough to go into submission and soon she was working on the pasta dish. After a few minutes he looked up and saw her boiling the pasta as normal.

"Did you salt the pasta yet?"

"Eh?" She looked up.

"You're supposed to salt it, remember?" He grinned. "Or were you never told?"

"W-we're out of salt!" She countered, clearly forgetting.

"Then here. Use this." He grabbed a small can from his bag. "Took it from his house when he wasn't home."

"You stole from Feliciano's house?"

"Hey, he had about fifteen cans of it, what's the use of losing the one near empty?"

"Why is the salt red?"

"Must be an Italian thing. Heard that he used it once and won some girl over."

He was lying of course. He bought it from one of those fancy schmancy salt stores on the way over here. You know, the one that says that the salt is actually flavored or something like that. The one he happened to buy was the "tomato" flavored, and he had to admit that it was a little funny when the store clerk was staring at him cause he clearly didn't look like the type who cooked. He left that building laughing his head off.

Before he knew it, everything had been set. Elizabeta smothered the pasta in the sauce she boiled with a kiss while Gilbert was forced to make his brother's dish (which was extremely simple nonetheless). The doorbell rang, and she chirped out a "that must be them!" before abandoning the kitchen to the door. Gilbert made sure she was gone before making his move.

Man, this is going to be AWESOOOOOME…

He's been observing how the Italians love their dishes. He knew what they wanted. While she was gone he sprinkled just the right amount of cheese and layered the sides with mint just for decoration. Not knowing his favorite, his ass. He knew almost everything about Feliciano: the way he acted, the key he laughs in, the right thing to say to stop him from crying…

N-not that he was actually listening for them! He wanted something to tell his bruder on the off chance he was interested!

Yeah, that was it.

Totally awesome.

He looked up and saw Ludwig was being extremely confused on what Elizabeta and Gilbert were planning, because she was being totally vague about what was going on and he had just stepped out of the way to show that he totally didn't just do anything different to the dish. Yeah, how awesome was that. Totally awesome.

The bell rang, and it was that little jingle that Feliciano would always do to a doorbell (again, this was for RESEARCH purposes) before he heard Roderich open the door to let him in. The footsteps were familiar, the singing was familiar, the same way he turned and hugged him was-

Not.

"Hey, Ita-chan! Wrong German!" Gilbert laughed.

"Ve~~~I wanted to say hi to you, Prussia…" Feliciano squeaked out. "D-do you not like it?"

He had a strange way of squeaking out when he was sad or frightened, that much Gilbert knew, the same as him knowing that Feli did not know what his human name was (he wasn't going to tell…because it adds to the AWESOMENESS). But he didn't know how it felt to have an Italian hug him like this. He kinda liked it…

"Aren't you hungry, Feli?" Elizabeta chirped. "Doitsu made you a great dinner, didn't you?"

"W-what?" That's when Ludwig got what was going on.

"Ve~~~really, Doitsu?"

"F-Feli, wait a minute-"

"Come on, you two are hungry!" Gilbert shooed them to the dining room. "We'll get the dishes out in due time!"

They took it very well (even Ludwig. Who knew?) before the other two grabbed their dishes and gave it to the both of them. They were a little iffy at first (especially Ludwig) before he looked up and saw Feliciano take a huge bite out of the pasta and chirped with a frequency that no one had ever heard out of him. Like, for reals.

"VEEE~~~~! This is really good, Doitsu!"

"E-eh?" He looked confused.

"There's just enough cheese on it too…and it's Romano cheese too! Veee…grazie~!"

It was then that Elizabeta knew that Gilbert had interfered with the entire dish. But there's going to be no pan smashing today. The minute she had the suspicious look on her face, he was already on the first plane back home. He ain't risking his ass for another beating by a woman.

/=+=/

"Ahhh…the entire house to myself…totally AWESOME!"

He chirped and headed to the kitchen before realizing that the entire stock of beer for the night was gone. He screamed for a few minutes before hearing Gilbert chirp around on the final cold beer that was there. Gilbert sighed and took the bottle in his hand before shaking his head.

"What the hell…beer is still beer!"

He chugged it down before feeling completely alive. He couldn't go to the bar tonight (he wanted Elizabeta to call him in case something good happened), so he skimmed the channels on the TV for a few minutes before getting bored of that and heading to his room.

"All riiiight~! The totally awesome me…demands…a nap!"

And he was out.

/=+=/

They were making out on the bed, completely naked, and loving it. He could feel the heat erupting from his skin, the sweat that was appearing from his forehead, the sweet smell of his shampoo coming from his hair, the squirming at the thousands of nerves that were screaming to be touched…

They fell on the bed, Gilbert topping (of course) the young boy before slowing kissing him down. His sounds were music to his ears, the squirms and twitches just adding to the much needed heat. His arms reached out to hold his body, feeling the warmth at his fingertips and his legs closing in on him.

"Are you sure…you're ready…?"

"Yes…yes, I'm ready…please don't worry about me…"

They made out a little more, making sure that he was completely ready and not holding any form of doubt. Gilbert heard him mumble something that he couldn't understand, but it just made this moment even more intense. He felt more heat burn around his five meters as they looked at each other one more time.

"Gilbert…"

"Feli…"

God, he felt so tight…and so warm…god he loved this…

…

…wait…

WHAT?

/=+=/

He sat up screaming, scaring the crap out of the poor bird that was sleeping just a few feet from his master. He fell out of his post as Gilbert took a deep breath…and then another one…and then another one…before he closed his eyes in a panic.

Did…did I just have a wet dream with mein bruder's best friend?

He lifted up the covers hiding his lower section of his body.

Mein gott, I did just have a wet dream with mein bruder's best friend!

He was so grateful that he was alone in the house that day, because he ran screaming out of it just a few minutes later.

/=+=/

Wow…so OOC of Prussia…I'm going to go stick my head in a bucket…