A/N: I HIGHLY recommend the reader to play the song as they read this :) It's Back to December by Taylor Swift.
December
I'm so glad you made time to see me
"Suzaku." The name left his lips uncertainly.
Suzaku smiled. "Hey."
It wasn't that hard a task, but even as he stepped back to let him in, Lelouch felt that his heart might have stopped right then and there.
How's life? Tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
"Oh, dad's been good. He…asks me about you every now and then."
"I see. I'm glad he's well."
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
The usually silent apartment was for once filled with a voice other than his own.
"I'm working on a new project at the moment; it's taking longer than expected."
Suzaku chuckled and took a sip from his proffered tea. "You'll get it done well, I'm sure."
"Mmn."
"I've been getting more cases lately as well. All these shady stuff always seems to happen before some big festive season, you know?"
Lelouch nodded slightly. "Some fools just can't stand not ruining Christmas for others."
Your guard is up, and I know why
Suzaku tensed up a little at that, and Lelouch blinked at the slip up.
He stared down at his feet, mentally cursing himself for being so out of his game.
"Sorry." Suzaku started, attempting to break the tension. "I had meant to call before I dropped by- I mean, I wasn't even sure whether you'd be in…but yeah."
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses, and I left them there to die
"Merry Christmas, Lu."
He knew; He should've just hugged him then and returned the wish, should've waited for Suzaku to pull out whatever it was that he had intended to give to Lelouch as a gift that year.
He might have just changed his mind then.
"Ah…Suzaku."
Watching those green eyes widen with disbelief was probably one of the hardest things he had to go through then.
"What do you mean?" Suzaku's voice was unnaturally steady, if the quiver in his hand was any indication of how he was feeling.
"I meant what I said." Lelouch cast his gaze away.
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
"No." Lelouch said, looking up and truly seeing Suzaku for the first time in so very long.
"No." He repeated. "You shouldn't apologize, not you."
"…Lelouch?"
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
Lelouch shook his head and frowned, trying to find some way to get the words out.
Suzaku stood up after a while, and he realised that he hadn't said anything.
"I'm sorry if I caught you at a bad time…I'll come visit some other time?" He offered.
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time
Almost immediately, as if on autopilot, Lelouch reached out to keep a firm, almost desperate hold on the other man's wrist.
"Wait. I'm not done."
These days, I haven't been sleeping
Staying up, playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed, and I didn't call
Lelouch glanced up casually, deep purple eyes narrowing at the date marked with a simple circle.
10
th July.
And then he eyed the phone on his right, just beside his pile of sketches that he just couldn't get right.
Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I loved you in the fall
He closed his eyes.
And then the cold came, the dark days
When fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye
"I don't care if you still want to push me away."
Lelouch almost fought against those arms that wound themselves around his waist – almost.
"I'll always be here when you need me, Lu."
So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
Suzaku was as patient as ever.
"Happy birthday." And suddenly, it felt as if a huge burden he had been carrying for over 4 years had been lifted off his shoulders. "Belated."
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
"Lelouch what-"
Lips crashed against lips and Suzaku was frozen in place as Lelouch pushed him back down on the couch and straddled him, his rosy lips never once leaving Suzaku's rougher ones.
It might've been his imagination, but he felt Suzaku kissing back.
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
"Shh, it's okay, Lelouch." Suzaku cooed softly, wrapping his arms around the quivering mess.
Though he didn't seem very surprised to be pushed away, the hurt in his eyes were very much visible to any who bothered to look.
Lelouch's slender fingers (Suzaku had always said that he was born to be a pianist instead of an artist) grasped onto his shoulders tightly, keeping them both at arm's length apart.
"I don't think-"
He wasn't sure why Suzaku had smiled then and pulled him in.
"It's okay."
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right
Opening his eyes, he found that Suzaku's were close.
And then it hit him just how close they were.
"What's gotten into you?" there was a hint of adoration and longing in that tone, though it was kept hidden behind a teasing front. "You weren't drinking, were yo-"
Lelouch simply kissed him again.
I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand
Suzaku shivered when those cold fingers trailed the well-defined jawline of his oh so gently.
"Please, listen to me."
Another kiss, and another, they were gazing at each other this time.
"Listen to me, Suzaku."
This is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December
'I love you.'
'I'm sorry.'
'Please, listen.'
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
"Can you hear me?"
Lelouch planted another kiss on those slightly parted lips again, curling into Suzaku's broad chest when those hands fell on either sides of his waist.
"I hear you."
It felt as if every misplaced piece had fallen back into their respective places.
"Loud and clear." Suzaku murmured against Lelouch's ear as he pulled him closer still.
Lifting a pale hand to his lips he planted a kiss on each knuckle and to Lelouch's bewilderment, pulled out a bare silver ring from the confines of his breast pocket before sliding the object down the smaller man's slender ring finger.
"Merry Christmas, Lu."
Lelouch, at a loss of words could only whisper a soft "Merry Christmas." in return.
I go back to December all the time, all the time
A/N:
There we go~ Proof of my latest fandom xD I wasn't really sure whether I wanted to post this up or not since it's been almost a year since I've updated the rest of my fics. But meh, I hope you guys enjoy this anyway (whoever you people are~) :)
In case you didn't understand the flow of the story, feel free to PM me to ask ^^