Speak Now

Author's note: Ok,I know I really, really shouldn't have done this oneshot. Namely because I have three other stories I haven't updated since Merlin knows when. So to anyone who is still interested in them, they will be updated soon. I promise.

The idea for this story came from singing along to 'Speak Now' by Taylor Swfit whilst in the shower - as you do - and I just had to write it. This is my latest obsession, Lily Luna and Teddy Lupin. I have to blame Helen3616 getting me obsessed due to her fabulous free-verse, so I recomend you all go check that out and tell her how great it is. So I guess I can say, Helen, this one's kinda for you (:

So yeah, that's me done rambling. Please review - you know you want to ;D

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters belong to J.K. Rowling and the song 'Speak Now' belongs to Taylor Swift.

"Lily, c'mon, everyone is heading to the church now." Al tells her, leaning into her room. Lily nods forcefully in response, though whether to Al or herself, she doesn't know.

Lily turns and takes one last look at her reflection in her full length mirror. Victoire had wanted seven bridesmaids, and what Victoire wanted, Victoire got. She had tried to bow out as gracefully as possibe, telling Victoire someone else could be bridesmaid, said didn't mind. Inside she was dying.

She thought perhaps it wouldn't be so painful if she didn't to stand next to the willowy girl with long blonde hair and perfect blue eyes, glowing in a white dress. But now she thinks she may be wrong. It's going to be so painful just being there.

Her dress is a kind of slivery lilac. She used to hate it, until at a party; he said the colour went well with her eyes. Well with her hair. That she looked stunning. Its strapless, synched at the waist, puffing out slightly to just-above her knees. She wanted to do something exciting with her hair. Last night, she decided she would make him notice her, even just this one last time before he would belong to someone else. But now...now she wants to bury herself under a rock and never return. Her hair is half up, half down. Her usual simple curls framing her face. She wears matching silvery strappy heals.

She wears the diamond necklace and earring set he bought her two birthdays ago as a last ditch attempt at pretending he'd staked a claim on her.

The sick feeling from this morning has returned. She doesn't want to go anymore. But she has to. She promised him.

"Lily?" She turns at the sound of his voice. It's almost Christmas, the first real snow is about to fall, but she's outside, enjoying the cold. It's numbing.

"Congratulations." She murmurs, not trusting herself to say much more.

She's lost count of the amount of times that she thought they would be together. When she was young, it was nine-and-three-quarters years of naivety that she asked him to marry her. His twenty year old self had said yes. He promised. He scooped her up in the air and spun her around, her laugh filling the air, before her mum called them in for dinner.

But she isn't nine anymore. She's nineteen. He's thirty. And he's engaged. He proposed last night. Victoire burst through the fireplace an hour ago, thrusting around her ring finger, sporting an ostentatious ring – the kind of thing Lily knew Teddy wouldn't pick. She wondered if Victoire had set him up with a mail order brochure, or just hinted too heavily. She had smiled politely before having to excuse herself.

But it wasn't just when she was nine. She didn't know when family-love changed into romance-love, and she doesn't really care. All she knows, is she wants him. Needs him. Loves him.

"Lily..." He begins again, coming to stand next to her. She's leaning against a wooden rail fence halfway down the road from her parent's house. He leans against the wood next to her.

"Teddy..." she breathes, forcing herself to say his name.

This isn't the first time he's come after her, and she hopes it won't be the last, but knows she won't be able to see him again after this. She always counted on him. When her brothers teased her, when the boyfriends broke her heart, when the pressure of her name got too much.

She thought they had something. When he had girl trouble, when he missed his parents, when he wanted friendship, she was the one he sought out. But now she knows he had also sought out another.

There was the age difference. Always that fucking age difference. 11 years. 11 God damn years. It meant nothing to her, but seemed to mean everything to him.

When she was seventeen, and he was twenty eight, he had come after her when a jibe from James has been a jibe too far. It had been raining – wasn't it always raining when romances hit their pinnacle? – and she had ran outside, tears merging with the rain. He followed her. He caught up with her at a similar spot to where they would stand on a cold morning, two years from now. He held her. He told her to ignore James. She could feel the warmth from his body through their wet clothes, rain pummelling off their skin as she clung to him, his arms around her.

She couldn't be sure who initiated it, but part of her, the part that was so deeply in love with him it almost scared her, was sure it was him.

His lips were warm and soft against hers. Her arms slipped around his neck, her hands into his wet turquoise hair. His lips moved with hers, and his hands moved to her waist, pulling her soaked body flush against his. The kiss deepened, and a warmth spread through her that felt like an inferno.

After too short a time for either of them, but too long for their lungs, they broke apart. She looked into his eyes. They were grey. Her grey. The grey they go when he's happy. It goes with his turquoise hair. The pair came in tandem.

Knowing reality would kick in within seconds, Lily pulled his head down and moulded her lips to his. Making sure he would know exactly how she felt, expressing a thousand unsaid words.

True to reality, after a few too short moments, Teddy pulled back from her.

"Lily, I'm – "

"Don't. Don't say it. You'll ruin the moment." She whispered against his lips. She closed her eyes, taking a step back, and turning away from him. Eyes, still closed, she heaved a sigh, grateful that the rain masked her tears.

He was about to leave when he paused. Before he could change his mind, he took two large strides towards her, cupped her cheeks with his hands, and kissed her softly, sweetly.

Before she could open her eyes or reciprocate, he was already halfway back towards the house.

But that feels a lifetime ago, standing next to him at the wooden fence in the cold.

"Set a date yet?" Her voice sounds bitter to her own ears, and he flinches slightly.

"I think Victoire wants a spring wedding." He says quietly.

Unsure where the fire in her veins comes from, she turns sharply to look at him. His hair is a mousey brown, eyes a dull blue– his unhappy look. But the emotions raging through her take over, dying for an answer she knows he won't say. "And what do you want, Teddy? Do you want a spring wedding?" He flinches again, as though actually stung by the venom in her voice.

"Lily..." He whispers her name, and that's all it takes. Just her name, to come from his lips, and she's calm. She's putty he can mould any way he wants.

"Lily," Teddy begins again, cupping her cheek with a large hand. She wishes he wouldn't, but loves that he does. She leans her face to into his touch, savouring every second. "I... I... I don't know what to say... what to do... I..."

He mutters and stumbles, and she longs to press her lips to his, to interrupt him in the best way. But she daren't.

The next words to pass her lips are the last thing she wants to hear from him, and she feels her heart shatter. "Will you come? To the wedding. I want you to be there."

She can't breathe. Can't respond. She doesn't know what to say, what to do, how to respond.

"Please, be there...for me?" He blinks at her, begging her silently to understand. But she doesn't. She doesn't understand.

She can't speak. She's choking on the remnants of her shattered heart. So she nods. Nods because it's the only thing she can do. She isn't sure if she's nodding in agreement to him, but it seems to be the only thing she can do.

"Promise?" He whispers.

"Promise." She breathes with what feels like her last breath.

She isn't sure how she made it to the church. She Apparated, and she is surprised she hasn't splinched herself.

She walks slowly to the church, nodding in greeting at a few people she passes that seem familiar, as though from a past life. They all smile and wave at her.

Smiling. It seems like an odd notion. She can't remember the last time she smiled. It was probably sometime in between that fateful kiss and the engagement.

"Lily!" She looks up at the sound of her name. Rose is rushing forward to her and envelopes her in a hug. She is wearing a baby pink dress, all frills and ruffles, clashing terribly with her hair. "I'm sorry," she whispers. Lily has never told Rose anything, but her cousin has known all along. "Come with me, everyone is looking for you."

Rose takes her hand and pulls her through into the church, then down an alcove and into a waiting area. There is a large living room type area in the middle with a pale peachy-pink carpet and matching chairs. To the left and right are doors, she assumes that lead to the bride and groom.

Lily doesn't want to be here. She wants to be anywhere but here. She must subconsciously be pulling her hand back, because Rose's grip on her hand gets stronger.

"Lily, there you are!" Her mother comes rushing forward to her, smoothing out her daughters dress, arranging her hair."Are you feeling alright? You look a bit pale?"

"I'm fine, mum." She manages to mumble.

"Well, take a seat." Ginny pushes her into a chair. Everyone is rushing around. Tuxes and dresses flying. People fighting over the mirror. Exchanges of makeup and hair gel. She sits quietly in the corner, hoping no one notices her. But someone does.

"Hey, Lily." A tall lanky boy, with messy blond hair drops into the seat next to her.

"Hey, Rory," she greets Teddy's best friend.

"What's up? Excited for the wedding?" Deciding its better not to answer, she diverts to a question.

"Shouldn't the best man be with the groom?"

"Pfft. It's boring in there. Everyone is so tense. This is more like a funeral than a wedding." He barks a laugh at his own joke.

As if on cue, a scream emerges from behind the door to the room on the left.

"These roses are yellow! I wanted pink! PINK ROSES! Is that so fucking hard? Are you fucking STUPID? Are you part troll or something? Pink fucking roses. It's not like I'm asking anything difficult." Victoire's voice echoes in now silent room. A faint sobbing could be heard, before the door burst open, and Molly burst out of the room, tearing flowers and ribbons from her hair, crying filling the room.

Lorcan, who no one had really noticed was in the room before, shot a dirty look at Victoire, who steps out of the room, looking almost guilty – almost – before following the sobs out of the room and down the hallway.

Eyes turned to Victoire. "What?" She snaps indignantly. "It's not my fault she can't tell the difference between pink and yellow!" She's wearing a large puffy gown shaped like a pastry. Fleur appears behind her, dressed in a pastel dress.

"What's going on?" The voice she least wanted to hear now speaks. There's the sound of the door opening.

"Teddy Lupin! Stay where you are! Don't you dare look at me!" Victoire screams. She pushes her mother out of the way, and goes behind the door into her room. She sticks her head around it. "What?" Victoire hisses.

Lily can barely make herself turn to look at him, but she does. The first look will be the hardest – right? She hasn't seen him since the day he made her promise. Avoiding him had been harder than she though, but she had done so. It had been 4 months, 1 week and 3 days. Not that she was counting. He looks so perfect. Her memory never does him justice.

He's in a tux. He looks slick and smart. Handsome. His hair was a dull turquoise, eyes a dull blue. Somewhere between false happiness and sadness she translates automatically. She can't decide if this makes her happy or sad.

Victoire looks like she's been slapped. "Turquoise? Why the fuck is your hair TURQUOISE?" She almost opens the door to step forward, murder on her face, but then she remembers she's trying to hide her dress, so quickly closes the space, her head barely peeking through.

"I am not MARRYING a man with TURQUOISE hair. For Melin's sake Ted, what's wrong with you. This is my wedding! And you turn up in turquoise?"

Everyone takes a shallow intake of breath – a collective gasp. No one blinks. No one moves. The room is full of friends and family, all eyes on the couple.

"Your wedding?" His voice is quiet. Calm. She knows this means he is angry. So very angry. His hair flashes red, then orange. He takes a deep breath before it turns a standard brown colour.

Victoire stutters. She's realised her mistake a few moment too late. "T-T-Teddy, darling. You know what I mean. I'm just...stressed. I'm sorry, lovely. Please. Just...er... I'll see you at the alter." The door closes with a sharp snap.

The room doesn't move. Doesn't breathe. All eyes are on Teddy. He closes his eyes, and turns to leave, but as his eyes open, the meet hers.

Lily doesn't move. Doesn't breathe. This is the real Victoire. The one she's always known existed. The one that people pretended didn't exist. The one that was never good enough for him. The one he's going to marry.

"Lily," he breathes her name, but she hears. Everyone hears. Everyone knows that they haven't seen each other in months. No one has spoken. Dozens of eyes are on them. "Can I have a word?"

She nods. Like before. She's not sure how she manages to stand, but she does. She follows him into the room he was in before. The door closes with a small snick. He pulls out his wand from his trouser pocket and casts a silencing charm.

"Lily," he breathes again. All he can say is her name. It tastes so right. Feels so good to say. He's not sure why, but it's all that makes sense to him.

She doesn't know what to do. What to say. She's been praying for an opportunity like this, a chance to say how she feels. But she can't move. Can't speak.

"Lily," he breathes again, then wants to slap himself for saying her name again. Actions speak louder than words, a voice eggs him on inside his head.

He takes three large paces across the room, takes her face in his hands, and kisses her. This isn't romantic, and this isn't sweet. This is desperate.

The moment his lips shatter into hers, Lily knows she won't ever be the same again. She slides her arms around his neck, his falls to her waist. His tongue traces her lips, before catching her bottom lip between her teeth.

A small gasp escapes her lips, and he seizes his chance. As their tongues entwine, his hands slide lower, catching her hips. A shiver rolls down her spine, her fingers knot in his hair.

The break apart, desperate for air. His lips work feverishly down her neck, along her throat, then back up to her jaw, before capturing her lips again.

She never wants this to end. Neither does he. But there is a small part of her that knows the longer she lets this happen, the harder it will be when she has to watch him say those two words that will make her world crash and burn.

Reluctantly, she pulls away. "Teddy, I'm – "

"Don't. Don't say it. You'll ruin it." He whispers against her lips. He smiles. She smiles as the tears start to fall. She can't believe he remembers the lines she said to him what feels like forever ago. She bites her lip, and looks away. Her arms are still around his neck, his still on her hips.

The tears a flowing now and she closes her eyes, willing them to stop. They hold each other for a few fearful moments. There is a knock on the door, cueing reality to make its move.

She opens her eyes. He wipes away her tears with his thumbs. She cups his face, and kisses him. Softly, sweetly. Just like that time forever ago. She takes a step back and turns away from him. She runs her fingers under her eyes, catching straying tears.

"You could always 'speak now' you know?"

She pauses, but doesn't turn.

"'Speak now'? You know, when the preacher asks you to speak now or forever hold your peace? We could runaway?" He gives a small laugh. They both wonder if he is joking.

Before she can change her mind, she strides over to the door, as fast as her heels will let her move, and wrenches open the door.

Everyone turns to look at her. She recognises faces. Dad. Mum. Brother. Another brother. Cousin. Cousin. Aunt. Uncle. Friend. Friend. Everyone is watching her.

It's Rose who comes to her rescue. "C'mon, let's go get seats. It starts in ten."

Lily nods again. This is becoming a bad habit, she thinks. She wonders if everyone knows. They can't know. But they must.

Rose takes her hand, and leads her forward. She follows her into the church. It's as though a pink fairy has vomited flowers and frills over everything. The church is full of people. They smile and wave at her. She barely nods in return. There, nodding again.

Rose pushes her into a pew, a few rows from the front. People shuffle down to make room for her. It's on Teddy's side. She can't decide whether or not this is good. Rose says something to her, but she isn't listening. She just nods again. Rose leaves.

She stares unblinkingly at the priest at the alter. He soon realises he's being watched. Lily doesn't even have it in her to feel embarrassed. The sick feeling from before has taken over. She turns her gaze to the pulpit.

Teddy comes and stands at the altar. Rory is at his side, followed by James and Al. Her bridesmaids are lined up in a row. Seven. Molly is there, her face a little red.

Ginny tries to come and sit next to her, but mercifully the pew is full. She take a seat behind, her husband next to her. She tries to pat her daughters shoulder reassuringly, but knows it's somehow not good enough.

Before she really knows, the organ starts to play a tune. It sounds like a death march. Everyone is standing, she numbly does so too. Lily thinks she looks like one of those awful Muggle pageant queen, on the arm of Uncle Bill.

She doesn't know why, but she turns her head and looks at Teddy. His hair and eyes are plain and normal. He smiles at the bride, but Lily knows it's forced. She can read him like a book. His eyes flitter to her. I wish it was her he thinks, but it's too late now as Bill lifts Victoire's veil and puts her hand in his.

The preacher begins to speak, and everyone sits down. She hangs on to every word. Then comes the part she's been longing for and dreading.

She hears the preacher say "Speak now, or forever your peace."

She flashes back to his voice only minutes earlier, telling her to speak now. Did he want her to? Was it code? Was he hinting? Her mind was reeling. She has seconds to decide. She turns her eyes to Teddy. He's staring straight at her. His eyes bored into hers. Begging? Begging for what? Her to speak? Or for her to be quiet?

Here's the silence, it's her last chance. Lily stands up with shaking hands, all eyes on her. Horrified looks from everyone in the church, but she's only looking at him.

No one speaks. No one moves. Rose stares straight at her, shocked. But then sends her a quick smile of encouragement. Then a wink. Then hides behind her bouquet, trying to obscure her smile.

"I..." She doesn't know what to say. Everyone is staring at her. She can feel her mother tugging at her dress for her to sit down, but her father swats the hand away.

"Well, child?" The preacher asks.

"Er...I..." Rory is openly smiling, as though he's been waiting for this for years. Victoire is outraged. Teddy is just staring at her. He looks at her, and his eyes change from blue to grey. That was all it took for her to find her voice. "I'm not the type of girl," Lily began, her voice filling the silent church, only looking at Teddy, "who should be rudely barging in on this white veil occasion. But you are not the kind of man, who should be marrying the wrong girl." Then she laughs. It sounds strange to her own ears. She can't remember the last time she laughed.

There is a collective gasp from the church. This only seems to give her the determination to continue. She doesn't care anymore. She really doesn't. She doesn't care what people will say about her. Or her family. Rose is secretly dating Scorpius, which will be a scandal when that comes out. So who knows, maybe it could deter attention from what she is about to say.

"So...so...so don't say yes. Let's runaway. Now. I'll meet you when you're out of you tux at the back door. Don't wait, or say a single vow. You need to hear me out...I've done speak now."

Lily continues to look deep into those grey eyes. It takes a few moments for his hair to turn turquoise. She can help but smile. He smiles back at her.

There are probably more gasps of shock and horror, but she doesn't hear them. He takes a step towards her. She steps out of the pew. He runs to her. He stands, inches from her. He speaks quietly to her, but the congregation hears every word."Let's runaway now, I'll meet you when I'm out of my tux at the backdoor. Lily, I didn't say the vows, I'm so glad you said 'speak now'." He smiles down at her, before leaning down and pressing his lips against hers.

There were more gasps as he wraps his arms around her and spins her around, lips still together. Rose breaks away from the row of bridesmaids and throws down her bouquet, pushing Teddy and Lily towards the side of the church, to the waiting area they were in before. Teddy grabs Lily's hand and pulls her along.

"Go! Now! Before the bitching bride comes!" Rose pushes them past the rooms. "Just go!"

"Ted-DDYY!" Victoire's voice screams from the church, echoing of the stone walls of the church.

Lily and Teddy couldn't help but exchange a glance at each other and burst out laughing.

"Oh my Merlin...I can't believe I just did that." Lily laughs, putting a hand over her mouth.

Laughing feels good. It's been so long.

"I'm so glad you did." Teddy laughs too, pulling her into a hug.

"Per'aps 'ee juzt 'as zee colds feets." Fleur's voice floats down the hallways.

"Teddy! TEDDY! TEDDYYY!" Victoire's voice screams.

"Victoire, calm down. Bill 'as gone to get 'Arry to talk to 'eem. Eet will be alright, darling." Fleur tries to soothe her daughter, but sobs began to echo down the corridor.

Teddy blanches slightly. "I feel guilty...maybe I should go and apologise."

"Hate to break up this little love fest, but the bitching bride is about to find you both and demand murder. So I suggest you two skedaddle. Hide out for a couple of weeks. Owl me where you are – I won't tell anyone, just let me know you're safe, ok?" Rose says, eyeing both of them.

"Thanks for this, Rose." He smiles. Lily throws her arm around her cousin.

"Thanks, Rose." The cousins hold each other close.

"Yeah, you better remember this when Scorp and me go public."

"You can count on it." Lily smiles.

"You and Scorp? As in Scorpius? Malfoy?" Teddy says disbelievingly.

Lily grabs his arm, and pulls him towards the back emergency exit. "I'll explain later."

He pulls her outside. It's mid afternoon, a lovely spring day. The blossoms on the trees are full and bright, daffodils line the grass outside the church, trumpets playing a silent symphony.

He pulls her close. "Where do you want to go?" He asks her, burying his face in her hair.

"Anywhere," she replies. She locks her arms around his neck and kisses him deeply.

He pulls back. "Hold tight," he says.

She blinks. He's Apparated them to a small cottage on the top of a small hill. She whirls around. She hasn't been here before.

"Where are we?" She asks.

"At my parent's house." He runs a hand through his turquoise, messing it up from its previously combed and gelled style. "Gran says my mum and dad bought it together, before..." He trails off. He doesn't need to finish. "So yeah, it's mine now. No one really knows about it. I come here quite often actually. I've made it a kind of private place. It was meant to be a surprise, for whoever I married..."

"Should I be getting my hopes up then?" Lily murmurs, winking at him.

"Hmmm...we'll have to see about that." He whispers back, a devilish smile on his face. He kisses her again, hands roaming up and down her dress. He kisses her neck, nuzzling and nipping. "You know..." he breathes against her neck between kisses, "the bedroom has a beautiful view of the countryside."

"Does it now?" She manages to gasp.

"Mm..." He replies. He kisses her one last time, before taking her hand, and pulling her towards the house. He pulls out his wand from his pocket, taps the door handle, pushing it open. Before she can move, he sweeps her up into his arms, and carries her over the threshold.

"I think you're meant to marry me first." She says playfully, fingers toying with his hair, lips against his neck.

"All in good time, my love. We don't want to give our families collective heart attacks now, do we?" He chuckles, capturing her lips, kicking the door shut behind him, and carrying her upstairs. She can't decide which notion makes her giddier; the thought of marrying him, or that he called her 'my love'.

He takes her up to the master bedroom which is homely and cosy, made with dark wood furnishings and cream cushions and bedspread. He puts her down to stand in the centre of the room. He takes a small step back, but before she can comment, he comes back and kisses her.

"You have no idea how long I've loved you." He whispers in her ear, kissing her neck. "No idea how long I've wanted to kiss you. Hold you. Be with you."

"I think I have a small inclination," she murmurs in response, wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing her lips back to his, and pulling them both onto the bed.

Please do not favourite without reviewing, thankyou (:

Ivy Pseudonym

29th July, 2011.