Rating: T
Disclaimer: Lalala, I don't own this, duhh.

They were fighting, as usual.

The streets were particularly busy that day. They should have been empty though, since it was raining and all. There was even lightning. The streets should be empty, right? Nope, they were packed like a pubescent girl's bra.

The sea of people parted to make way for the infamous destructing duo. The jacket clad informant led the way, followed closely by the hot tempered ex-bartender. Shizuo swept up a conveniently placed stop sign before launching it toward Izaya, who dodged it effortlessly.

And then it crashed into the sushi shop.

THE sushi shop.

The crowd dispersed. If there was anything worse than Shizuo and Izaya's fights, it was Simon intervening with their fights. And sure enough, not a second after the last woman scrambled back to grab her air-headed toddler and flee, Simon marched out of his shop. Izaya tried to run past, but a large hand shot out and wrapped around the back of his neck. Shizuo analyzed the situation and quickly made to turn around, but his momentum carried him right into the claws of the Russian giant.

Izaya felt his feet leave the floor, and saw that Simon had Shizuo's arms pinned to his sides with his other hand. He also noticed how close they were.

"HA!" he exclaimed, swinging his switchblade across the small gap between him and his captured archenemy. Unfortunately, Simon's reaction time was fantastic, and he pulled Shizuo our of range.

"Drop," ordered Simon.

"Oh, right, like I'm just gonna-"

"Izaya," Simon warned. He readjusted his hand so it also pinned Izaya's arms down, and gave him a squeeze. "Drop. Now."

Izaya huffed and pouted, but dropped his weapon nonetheless. Shizuo's laughter broke through Izaya's indignant display.

"I never knew you could be such an obedient little- OW!" the blonde snarled when Simon smashed his head into Izaya's.

"You ruin shop," Simon said. "I make Shizuo and Izaya talk. Talk and stop fighting." He had them positioned so their foreheads were still touching. Izaya could smell the nicotine off of Shizuo's clothes, and Shizuo could feel the light puffs of Izaya's breath against his lips.

"There's no way I will ever stop fighting this nuisance" Shizuo spat.

Izaya chuckled. "I thought you hated violence, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo lurched, trying to kick at the flea. Izaya laughed manically, wriggling around in attempts to reach his backup switchblade. But neither could reach the other with their feet. Meanwhile, their arms were pinned painfully to their sides. Shizuo could not throw punches and Izaya could not reach for his switchblade. So they did the only thing they could do in this situation.

They fought with their faces.

It started with Shizuo head-butting Izaya. Izaya shook it off, smirking before leaning in to bite Shizuo's nose.

Shizuo roared.

Izaya snickered.

Shizuo scratched Izaya's jaw with his teeth.

Izaya spit in Shizuo's eyes.

Shizuo tried to chew off Izaya's ear.

Izaya gnawed on Shizuo's neck.

Shizuo stuck his tongue into Izaya's ear.

Izaya froze.

Shizuo puffed out a short victory breath, unintentionally exhaling into Izaya's damp ear.

Izaya shuddered, biting down harder on Shizuo's neck.

Shizuo grunted.

Izaya smirked against the skin.

"YOU FUCKING LOUSE!"

"So loud, Shizu-chan~"

"I'LL BE AS LOUD AS I DAMN WELL PLEASE IN IKEBUKU-mmph!"

Izaya smashed his teeth against Shizuo's lips, fully intending to rip them off and silence the blonde forever. Shizuo's eyes flashed angrily, and his supernaturally strong tongue shot out to push Izaya off of him. It worked for a moment, both of them gasping for air, but then Izaya simply dove back in, teeth clashing harshly against Shizuo's.

Shizuo tried to shove him back with his tongue again, but Izaya was prepared. The raven opened his mouth so that Shizuo's tongue hit nothing but the hot air behind his teeth. Izaya took this opportunity to bite down on the muscle, hard. A metallic twang accompanied the brute's growl, and Izaya sucked at the blood coming off the tongue.

Shizuo didn't like being in Izaya's teeth-lined trap. He pulled his tongue back into his own mouth, bringing Izaya's along for the ride. The informant tried to hold it back, but Shizuo sucked it over. The strong suction also pulled a moan out of the bottom of Izaya's throat. It was an unexpected moan, one that had Shizuo's head heavy with thoughts of somehow causing these reactions from Izaya.

Izaya had just given up and gone lax in Simon's hold when Shizuo pulled away, knowing fully well that he had won.

"Uh…" Simon trailed off, pulling the two away from each other, as if they were two horny dogs poised to hump. Startled, Shizuo and Izaya jumped out of their telepathic quarrel. They had completely forgotten Simon was there.

"So… you two not fighting from now on?" Simon raised his eyebrows.

"What the hell, Shizu-chan!" Izaya gasped, suddenly hit by the realization of what happened.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, FLEA!" Shizuo bellowed.

They tried to kick each other again, lurching like worms on a hook. Simon sighed and carried them inside. Because in his world, sushi made everything better.

A/N: just a super pointless oneshot I found sitting on my computer. I hope it was as fun to read as it was to write!

Don't forget to stalk me on my new tumblr account! You can find the link on my profile page... don't be lazy! ;)

Love, CircusRunaway