Sometimes you love something so much that it hurts to leave it, but you must. Sometimes it hurts too much to hold on to that thing you love.

And sometimes you let go of what you love because it hurts, but then just sometimes...you get it back and live happily ever after

Chapter 15

Beckett strapped on her bullet proof vest and eyed the half a dozen cops surrounding her, all doing the same thing. Once they'd focused their attention back on her, she raised her voice to be heard over the rumbling sounds of the city streets.

"Our suspects name is Aaron Fry. Forty-eight, lives alone, fourth floor, apartment 102. Priors include assault to cause bodily harm and attempted robbery, amongst a slew of other charges. He served three years back in '06. File says suspect is trained in combat and has succeeded multiple times in escaping police. He's become sloppy, left a fingerprint on the bomb that put one of our own in hospital, which indicates he's become more volatile. We want him alive, guys. Let's go."

The cops nodded, made their way into the six storey brick building, Esposito and Ryan leading the pack. Beckett held back, turned to her writer who was pulling his own vest out of the back of her patrol.

"Nuh uh, Castle. Remember, you stay in the car."

He opened his mouth to protest, but she pressed a finger to his lips. "No, if you don't stay in the car then this 'following me' deal is over." She watched as annoyance crossed over his face, and decided to use a different tactic. Trailing her finger down to his chest, she circled her hand around his wrist. "Rick, just this once, please stay in the car. I know it's just like any other case, but after my...nightmare the other night, it's just...too soon. Ok?" She used her own version of puppy dog pleading eyes and it seemed to work. His face softened and with his free hand he threw the vest back into the trunk of her car.

"Ok, I'll stay. Be careful, Kate."

She nodded, glanced back quickly to see all the cops had disappeared, and pressed her lips to his. He tried to deepen the kiss, but she pulled away. Now was not the time to have her brain absorbed into mush by this man.

"I'll be back." After one last lingering kiss that almost threatened to turn her knees to jelly, she turned and followed her teammates into the building.

Bored, slightly worried and absolutely starving, Castle tapped the theme song to The Big Bang Theory on the steering wheel of Beckett's patrol. She'd probably snark at him for sitting in her seat, but he couldn't help but want to touch the buttons and flash the lights. The gnawing panic in his stomach refused to go away, and worry had him glancing every few seconds to the fourth floor of the building their suspect was supposedly in. He jumped, and would never admit he squealed, when the cell in his back pocket began to vibrate. Lifting his body, he retrieved the device and debated whether or not to answer. Mother continued to flash, and rather than have his mother call again and again, he answered.

"Mother."

"Richard, darling, why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what, mother?" Like he didn't already know what she was calling about.

"About you and Kate, darling. Now, Alexis didn't mean to tell me, but it slipped out. Oh, Richard, I'm so happy for you."

Castle knew how persistent his mother could be, understood that's where his own nagging trait came from, and knew Alexis wouldn't have stood a chance against her inquisitive grandmother.

"Mother, we really haven't discussed anything properly, alright? Just, Kate and I have a few things to work out."

There was a dramatic sigh from the other end and Castle held back his grin.

"Fine, Richard. But I do like to be kept in the loop, you know. How is Kate, by the way?"

Castle went to answer, but a fast moving figure snagged his attention.

"Mother, gotta go, talk later." He hung up, barely heard her protests as he tried to focus on the person bolting down the fire escape on the side of the building. He glanced at a picture of their suspect pinned to the patrol's dash, looked back up at the figure and made a positive ID. His heart beating wildly, he grabbed the two way radio, checked it was on the right frequency.

"Beckett? Kate, you there?"

"What, Castle?" Her annoyed voice crackled over the radio.

"The suspect, he's heading down the fire escape on the third storey. I'll stop him." He opened the car door, heard her infuriated Castle, don't you dare leave that car, and ignored it. He glanced around, found nothing he could use as a weapon. He heard a bang, glanced up and saw Beckett had burst through a door and was streaking down the fire escape, only a few paces behind their suspect. She called out for him to stop, freeze, but he kept running, turning once to fire the gun in his right hand. Beckett ducked, the bullet narrowly missing her neck. Castle felt the blood drain from his head and black dots appeared in his vision. That was close. The bullet had been only inches away from her head. This was exactly why he shouldn't stay in the car.

He was frozen to the spot, could only watch in horror as Aaron Fry leapt to the ground and sprinted down the alley. He opened his mouth, tried to yell, but only a croak came out. He glanced up again, saw Beckett hurdling down to the second storey, fury etched across her face. Their suspect turned once more, fired another shot towards Beckett. It looked as though she'd dodged the missile, but she stumbled slightly before regaining her balance and firing her own weapon.

Finding his voice, his adrenaline kicking in, Castle rounded to the front of the car.

"Hey! Stop right there!"

"Castle! No!" Beckett's horrified shout drew his attention back to her. In slow motion, he saw her eyes widen, heard another loud bang from off to his right. Beckett's long legs looked so graceful as she leapt from the second level and it took him milliseconds to realise her body, flying through the air, was going to collide with his own. He turned his head; saw that Aaron Fry had his gun pointed at him, his finger already off the trigger. He looked up just as Beckett's body crashed into his own, the force knocking him off his feet. They slammed into the concrete, the air leaving his body. One of her hands had wrapped around his neck, her palm splayed against his head to stop it cracking on impact. He tried to take a breath, but between the wind being knocked from his lungs and the weight of Beckett's body, he struggled.

Beckett wanted to cry. Or hit him. Or scream. She couldn't decide which. The thumping of Castle's heart under her body was confirmation enough that he was ok, but the fear pumping through her veins wouldn't leave. God, the absolute terror that had raced through her when she'd seen their suspect aim his gun at Castle had almost rendered her immobile. She knew the leap from so high up was dangerous, she could've injured them both, but it was a risk she was willing to take, so long as it meant Castle didn't end up with a bullet in his head, which he would have if she hadn't jumped.

The hand beneath his head, protecting his skull from connecting with the concrete, throbbed painfully. Holding back a whimper, she pulled it out from under him and rolled off his body, landing on her own back. Cradling her hand to her chest, she turned her head to look at her shadow.

"Castle? You ok?"

He was gasping, wheezing for air, and she guessed the impact of her body had knocked the wind from his. Shifting to kneel by his side, groaning because Jesus she ached, she touched one hand to his cheek.

"Hey, Castle, look at me." When he did, his eyes full of pain but also apology; she smiled and held back a sob of relief.

"You ok?"

He took a deep breath, nodded. "Yeah, yeah I'm ok. Good thing you don't weigh a ton."

She smacked his shoulder with her good hand, before leaning down and joining her lips to his. He was still panting, but she couldn't stop herself from drawing the needed air from his lungs as her mouth desperately clung to his. His arms lifted upwards, his fingers curling around her biceps. A stab of pain radiated through her left arm and she jerked away from him, glancing down and seeing, to her surprise, blood spreading across her white shirt.

"Kate, you've been shot!" Castle's body jerked up, the force knocking her onto her ass. She grunted in annoyance as he knelt in front of her, his fingers frantically trying to search for the wounds entry.

"Castle, stop. The bullet only grazed me." Grazed. Didn't mean it didn't hurt like a bitch though. The adrenaline was wearing off, the pain becoming more pronounced. The worried face in front of her blurred, and she thought it might be best if she sat down.

"Kate, you are sitting down."

Had she said that out loud? The face of her writer came back into focus, his expression full of concern. Right. Yes, she was sitting. How silly of her.

"Kate, hey, Katie, look at me." Warm fingers cupped her cheeks, and she focused back on Castle.

"I'm ok, Castle. Really. Just a bit dizzy." Dizzy Beckett didn't like that there were three Castle's hovering in her line of vision now. One was enough on a good day.

Castle didn't look convinced, instead called out over his shoulder. "Javier, call Lanie. Beckett needs to be checked out, a bullet's grazed her arm and she's disoriented."

Beckett was at least thankful he wasn't calling for an ambulance. With a tired sigh, her eyelids feeling so incredibly heavy, she tilted forwards, resting her head in the crook of Castle's neck. He smelled so good. So nice and...Castle like. His hands stroked through her hair, his fingers gentle but shaky.

"It's ok, Kate. You're ok, I've got you, sweetheart." His soothing murmur, the press of his lips to her forehead was enough for her to give up the fight. She succumbed to the darkness blurring her vision, knowing she'd be ok. Castle was holding her, and he'd never let go.

TBC