A/N: Erm...Kinda got some bad news. This chapter does not have a lemon in it. I'm sorry for the disappointment, I wanted to add it right at the end of this but I felt bad for the wait and I already had like, 4'000 words so I just decided to post this chapter. The next chapter will have the lemon, and when you read until the end of this one, you'll see why I really can't escape that truth. At least, I hope you'll read to the end *sweatdrop*

Also, thank you to all the PM messages telling me to get my rear in gear. Much appreciated!

You know who you are, you are the wonderful people who reviewed on chapter three:

Nicole Rayne, bloodsucker101, Atchair, pumpkinpatch212, dreamcatcher96, xoxMissYummaliciousxox, FreakyWeird.

I realized I haven't been placing disclaimers on the previous chapters, but in the case that anyone thinks that, due to my negligence, I was implying in any way that I actually owned the Gone franchise, I correct you now. I do not own Gone, if I did, I wouldn't be on FanFiction.

Chapter Three

The Memory

I buried my face in my pillow, afraid that if I ever rose from my fetal crouch, huddled in the dark, I would see the face that haunted me, always there, always angry. Why was he always so angry? Why did he make us so scared? Why, why, why? So many of my questions were left unanswered, even after years of asking. I never asked him, we didn't do such stupid things, we knew better. We always did everything we could...Everything. We always did everything we could think of to make him not angry, nothing we did ever seemed to make even the slightest of differences. Always, so angry, so angry at us.

My heart thumped inside my chest like an angry clock, the fear dripped through me making my chest feel tight and painful as the rage-filled yells and the frightened screams continued down the hall. Fear was so painful, so tight, why did it seem like everything in life hurt so bad? Fear hurt, it burns and chills me from the inside out and there is no escape from it. Why does fear have to hurt? Another question, I thought as I listened unwillingly to a sharp crack that sounded like a belt. Belts hurt...Another hurt, another way to feel pain.

"...P-please..."

I listened, not having a choice, to those pain-filled pleads. It was times like this that made me wish I was born without ears. If I had no ears, I wouldn't have to listen, I wouldn't have to know when belt connected with flesh, I wouldn't be huddled in my closet, head sandwiched in my pillow, lying on the cold and unforgiving wooden floor. The floor was so cold, and dirty too but I didn't care. The only thing I could imagine feeling better than the cold, dirty floor was mommy's arms, and that would never happen again.

I heard footsteps. Someone was coming up the stairs. Clank, clank, clank...Someone was coming down the hall. Someone, someone someone! It was him, he was coming to my room, he was almost at the door. He was right there, right there! Right there on the other side of the flimsy door, I could hear the shocks of his boot-clad feet. Clank, clank, clank, I could hear the doorknob creak-

I opened my eyes with a start. My heart was beating a mile a minute, and my breathing was ragged and broken. My body was cold and shivering in the thin layer of cold sweat, despite the warmth the slightly damp sheets gave. I just lay there, for one minute, for another, not daring to get up and out of the sanctuary the darkness gave me. I couldn't move, I couldn't feel anything but the fear, caused by the after effects of the dream. Of the nightmare.

Of the memory.

Fuck. I was so stupid, so fucking stupid. How could I let myself do this, again and again? It was pointless, it was pathetic, it was not me! I wasn't that anymore, I wasn't that frightened little girl. What was the point on dwelling on the past, no matter how fucked up it was? Why could I just forget all those memories that come back, always there, in the mind? They'de done enough for me already, why couldn't they just leave!

I took a couple of calming breaths, willing my heart to slow down to a pace that didn't force me to choke on the air. It helped a little, but I was far to awake now to fall back into slumber. Fuck, I needed this sleep, I had work tomorrow and Howard would not be pleased if I came in with bags under my eyes and exhausted from lack of sleep. I always needed every second of sleep I could manage, but that wasn't always easy. Especially with the memories that haunted me during my most vulnerable time. Back-stabbing, bloodthirsty and seemingly insatiable memories of the past. The fucking past. It was over, gone, poof, but always present, never fully resigning, never completely gone.

It was over, and that was the point. No matter how much I dreamt of that time, no matter how many times I swore I saw his face in a crowd or how vividly I remembered the pain, it. Was. Over.

Feeling a little calmer, I raised a shaky arm to dispel of the sheet and let the cool night air surround me. It felt nice, like what some people might describe the comforting touch of a lover feeling like. Not that I believed in silly things like that the caress of a lover could rid oneself of all worries, that romantic bullshit belonged in the cheesy romance novels only. Such nonsense. At least for me, that is. If there was one thing I had learned over the years, it was that there was no such solace for dirty whores. No walking off into the sunset, no one who would ever fully understand and accept you. No one would want a woman, no matter how beautiful, who had been with more men than she had days of high school. No one. There would always be something, something about you that was imperfect, something that was broken and shattered. Lucky for me, I didn't have to wonder about which part of me was broken. All of me was. Dirty, broken, shattered and mangled, beyond that which anyone would want any part of. And that was all there was to it. I had long ago accepted that fact, so now I only observed it with a numb indifference. If a thing such as true love, then it would be something I would never experience. I couldn't say I cared. I wouldn't.

Just as I thought I was feeling better, the room started to feel stuffy and hot. I became restless, flinching at the noises coming from the room next to me.

"...Ngh...Aah..."

Great. Just fan-fucking-tastic. Now here I was, awakened by a silly dream, forced to listen to my neighbors going at it when that's the last thing I want to hear right now.

"...Aah...I l-love you!"

That's it. Those damn words, those fucking words. The room was getting more stuffy by every second I was forced to listen to the moaning through the walls. It was a strange concept, those three simple words. I'd said them before, to many men, but those were just sick little fantasies, lonely fantasies. I was paid to make men believe whatever they wanted, whether it was that I loved them or just to simply fuck them. I preferred the latter.

My breathing was increasing again, my emotions were everywhere. Anger, sadness, and a dozen others I couldn't identify.

I slowly rose from my bed, my legs a little shaky but holding me up nevertheless. In the dark, I made my way across my tiny bedroom to the door. I didn't bother to even turn on the light, just leaving the claustrophobia-inducing room as soon as I could.

I walked in a hurried frenzy, not really paying attention to where I was heading, I just knew I needed to walk to stop my mind from going into overdrive. All I could hear through the blood pumping through my veins was my own terrified screams or the footsteps I knew where made by my own feet but sounded and resonated to closely to his. His. HIS!

I took a few calming breaths, in out, in out...My heart was still beating far to fast to be comfortable but at least now it was thumping at a pace which allowed me to think in the present. Where was I? I looked around, finding myself in the hallway of my apartment. I mentally reprimanded myself for letting my fright carry me away like this. Stupid, careless, reckless! I looked down at myself, and only adding to my embarrassment finding out I was wearing only a loose fitting shirt and a baby blue set of underwear. I was lucky is was some godforsaken hour in the night and no one seemed to be out in the hallway of the crumbling apartment.

I quickly made my way back to my own apartment, passing by peeling wallpaper and the odd graffiti message. So what, I lived in a dump, what else could be expected of someone who fucks scumbags for a living? I was still deciding what part of my life seemed less torturous, now or then. I hurried inside my door, still opened from my escape minutes earlier, and noticed a piece of paper tapped the outside of the door.

RENT!

I tossed the note aside casually, not paying it much mind to the rather rude reminder of my lack of finances from my landlord. Late on my rent? Absolutely, but why worry about things you could do nothing about? Yeah, I have the money, but I felt like withholding it because I enjoy the lovely reminders you give me just so much. Tch, as if.

Closing and locking my door, I sighed and walked over to my fridge. It wasn't a long walk, considering my apartment consisted of a main room containing a mini fridge, sink and a tiny counter, a bathroom and a bedroom. Fairly depressing but I was beyond use to it by now.

I looked in the fridge, regarding the lack of any kind of edible sustenance with a mild indifference. Food was so overrated. Opting for a glass of water instead of dwelling on my almost constant hunger, I allowed myself a moment to completely rid myself of the after effects of my night terror before heading back to bed to salvage whatever hours of sleep I still could. God knows I needed every second of rest I could scrounge, even if it was spent tossing and turning in amidst the shadows of memories I wished futilely I could forget.

After seemingly hours of restlessly changing positions on my rather stiff mattress, I finally fell into an uneasy sleep only to be awoken what seemed like minutes later by the resonating chime of my cell phone.

"...Fucking hell," I cursed before throwing aside the sheets and got up, adding a few other colourful additions to my previous sentiment on my way over to where the noisy, surely evil object lay on the floor. It wasn't like I had a damn table to put my cell phone on.

"What," I said flatly into the device, irked that I was interrupted in my sleep for the second time that night, this time by something I could actually take it out on.

"Now, Diana, is that any way to greet the person the most generous to you in your life?"

My breath hitched. Howard. Cursing myself for not checking the caller ID before answering, knowing that Howard could make my life a living hell if he felt so inclined. I had endured Howard's forms of punishment before and I had no wish to ever repeat that experience. Ever. It seemed I was getting far too careless for my own good lately.

"I d-didn't know it was you..." I mumbled, hoping he would just let it go.

"Whatever- I'm far to happy right now to be mad at you, Diana. Wanna know what it is that's making me so happy?"

I inwardly groaned, hating the tone Howard was now using. That tone, I knew that tone, it always appeared alongside an opportunity. And opportunity to make more money. In Howard's life, things were really that simple.

"Um, wha-"

"I just got a call from a very well-endowed patron of ours, isn't that exciting?"

"If you sa-"

"He said he wants another arrangement! Isn't that great?"

"It's great Howard, but why are you calling me for this? You could have just told me when I come in later-"

"Because he wants the meeting today! You're going to have to come in early to get ready, my dear, so I expect to see you in no less than half an hour - but I assume that's no problem, Right?"

I bit my lip in effort to contain all the venomous words that threatened to spill from my mouth. Of course it was no problem, after all, I had no right to have a problem with anything Howard dictated. Anything I wanted to say to the contrary would matter little and just end up with more trouble for me. He owned me.

"No, Howard, of course it's no problem."

"Good, so I'll see you soon? Great, see ya!"

"No, wait- Howard, who did you say it was?"

"-Come in a see for yourself!"

Dial tone.

Fuck.

In exactly thirty four minutes, I was walking into what felt like my second home. Not home in the sense that it was the place my 'heart' felt at ease, or the place where loved ones reside, but simply my home as in the place I spend more time than I care too at. I walked into the small, clustered dressing room that served as the place the girls would slip into tiny pieces of fabric barely covering their intimate parts, touch up their over exaggerated make-up or adjust their wigs - whatever they thought would make them stand out from the rest of the crowd, to gain the attention that would bring them the money to supply them with food, alcohol or drugs. Sometimes a particular costumer would request a certain outfit, pertaining to some twisted fantasy that person could fulfill for a price. Either way, this was the place, the perfume and smoke scented room with cracked walls and cigarette butts still alight, the room full of mirrors and hangers which hung all sorts of glittery attire, feathers and silk.

Right now the room seemed more or less empty, more of the other girls wouldn't be arriving until later like I usually did. I didn't waste time admiring a view I'd seen almost every day for longer than I wanted to admit - even just to myself -, so I walked through, intent of finding Howard to learn of who it was I was to be with today, but instead found a note laying on a bundle of cloth on one of the tables. Walking closer, I could easily distinguish a capital 'D' on the folded note, so I picked it up and opened it.

Wear this

XOX

~H.

Typical, I thought. Just like Howard is was to get excited about a new potential regular and suggest some strange outfit I wear for the occasion. Whether he did this just as a strange kink of excitement or to try and claim some responsibility of the new client, I didn't know, but I was always a tab bit wary when he chose my attire for me. I didn't like it when things were taken out of my control, whether or not it was my hours of work or my own clothing, it didn't matter. In a life of little choices, like mine was, every choice you were able to make was made than much more important to your sanity. Whatever little control you did have was sacred and guarded. Being out of control of those little choices was just a step away from being helpless, and being helpless was a path I had walked before with no intention of ever returning.

But looking down at the small bundle of cloth which had previously been covered by the note, I felt a little differently towards Howard's fashion choices. I tentatively picked up the garments, as if unsure of their intent, and observed them carefully. They were of rich indigo blue in colour, black threads embroidered throughout the azure fabric. It was two pieces of clothing, one set of skimpy panties and a matching corset. I had to admit that they were impressive, considering the chooser that is. In my mind I was already I was matching the set with a short-cut, black mock silk robe I had worn here before a few times.

Before I knew it, I was changing into the indigo lingerie and searching the room for the robe I had in mind. It didn't take that long to find, and soon I was dressed and applying waterproof eyeliner and mascara to dramatize my chocolate eyes. I was just about to head to my room when I heard a high pitched whistle coming from behind me. Turning around, I could see Howard leaning on the door frame, arms crossed and a smug smile adorning his sneering face. Standing behind him, like he always did, was his thug-like body guard, Orc. Orc was a large and usually quiet man who took every order Howard have him without question. He treated him with the loyalty a servant would his king, but as slimy as Howard was, it never seemed like he abused his power or treated Orc outwardly unkindly like he did the girls here.

I was reminded of that very fact thanks to Howard's none-too-subtle eyes roaming freely along my scantly covered body. I cut off his view in a heart beat by trying the robe, causing the pimp to frown at me for a moment.

"As beautiful as ever, Diana, the colour looks positively stunning on you," Howard said as he sauntered slowly towards me, like a cat eyeing his next prey - planning to toy with it fully first before devouring it. He sighed dramatically while looking at me wistfully, before continuing, "Unfortunately, we don't have the time to admire the jaw-dropping sight that is you, your client has already arrived-"

"He's already here?" I spoke for the first time, interrupting Howard - something I knew he disliked with a burning passion.

Howard cleared his through loudly, not pleased. "As I was saying, your client has already arrived and is waiting for you in your room, and he didn't seem to patient so I'd scurry over if I were you."

I was about to do just that, but puased at the doorway, looking back at Howard, remembering something.

"Howard, who is it?"

That sneering, condescending grin appeared again, this time with a glint of knowing.

"Go find out yourself," he said before adding to his comment by giving me a slight push out of the door on my back. I looked at him warily before realizing he really wasn't going to tell me. I hated not knowing who I was going to meet, and Howard the bastard, he knew that well.

Just a few minutes later, I found myself at the door to my room, sparing Howard a confident glance - him having followed me here from the dressing room, Orc tailing him as usual. I swiftly ran my fingers through my hair and straightened my robe before dawning my figurative mask of seduction.

Show time.

I opened the door and strode inside with the confidence of Olympic athlete. What I was unaware of until this time was that the one person who had successfully torn my walls of self-control, the man who effected me in ways I was ashamed of, was the very person whom waited for me on the other side.

I opened the door, my smooth facade was flawless, until the moment my eyes landed on one Caine Soren.

A/N: That last batch of cyber cookies was just so delicious, you have to keep 'em coming! Hey, send me some cookies on DeviantART, 'cause I just got an account there! Same username but there's also a link in my profile. Speaking of profiles, everyone should skippy on over and vote on my poll kay? =) Other than that, I hope you are all having a good start to the new school year! Don't be skipping too much homework to read fanfiction, now, because I did that last year and MAN did I regret it.

Updates are going to be slow going. You would NOT believe my schedule. I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes. I think I may need to get a beta fairly soon. Any volunteers?

Once again, sorry for the disappointment of not having a lemon. I wasn't even going to post this until I had that written, so think of me being generous, kay?

Anyways, like? Love? Think it's so horrible that I need to be committed for even posting such an atrocity? *sweat drop* well, I hope it's not that last one, but either way, let me know using the handy-dandy review button BELOW.