Without further ado, here is the third installment to The Cookbook… my apologies for taking so long to update, life gets in the way sometimes and it becomes necessary to re-prioritize, but the chapter is lengthy so I hope that makes up for it, even if just a bit.

In this chapter, we get to my reasons for choosing the title for this story… basically I wrote it with a single idea in mind and it just grew from there.

I hope you guys enjoy where I've gone with this… there are lots of conversations that take place and J & M have a talk about what's really going on between them… and I may have thrown in a little *fun* for our girls too… what can I say, I thought it was time they got a little frisky.

FYI, the next chapter will be the last, but probably just as long as this one… so this is the last chance for any ideas, all are welcome =o)

Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing… I'm surprised and touched at the outpour of positive feedback, I never thought anyone would actually want to read my stories.

Love you guys, mean it!

- J

Previously…

"Maura… she's beautiful… gorgeous even… this girl you had a fling with in college was absolutely beautiful… and she's still beautiful… and the way she said 'we had fun times together' just…"

"Just what Jane?"

"She's beautiful Maura… and I know I have no right, and it's probably going to sound strange to you, but… I'm insanely jealous right now."

Maura buries her face in my neck and kisses it softly.

"Jane… it was a very long time ago, and even so… I don't feel that way about her, it's not the same…"

"What's not the same?"

The pounding in my chest is almost unbearable now.

"It's different, everything's different Jane…", I hear her mumble against my jaw. "I don't think I've ever… it never felt with her the way it feels with you."

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"Maura, come inside, I need to talk to you for a minute, it's important!"

Ma's shrill voice breaks up our intimate moment, but I guess it's all the better for me… I'm left speechless with nothing but Maura's confession to occupy my mind and I don't have a clue what to do with this new found information.

Did she really just say what I think she just said?

I want to answer Maura, to tell her that I've never felt this way either, but I can't bring myself to do anything but stare. I have that deer in headlights kind of look I sometimes get, and I've been known to suffer from chronic foot in mouth disease, so yeah, ma's bad timing might've just saved me from some major embarrassment.

As she walks away I watch her strut towards the house, shapely hips moving her forward in a perfect rhythm. She looks inconceivably beautiful in that outfit… then again, every time I see her I think 'that's the most beautiful she's ever looked', and then the next day comes and there she is, shining even brighter than the day before.

God, I've got it so bad…

With Maura just admitting her feelings, she's acknowledging that things between us have been changing … and I want more than anything to tell her the I feel same and give in to her every desire.

I don't know how to explain it… I have never in my life felt this attracted to another woman. Now don't get me wrong, I've found women attractive in the past, but I've never been attracted to a woman, at least not in the way it feels with Maura.

That's it, tonight, when we go home, we need to sit down and talk about this, us, everything.

It's a little upsetting that this may have never have happened if not for ma's phone call, but in a way it's far worse for me to feel what I feel for Maura in front of my family and know that this is still just a ploy to mess with my mother for a bit. If ma finds out about what all of this with Maura and I was supposed to be, she just might break a wooden spoon over my ass, just like my Nonna would have.

Nonna would've liked Maura… and Maura would've loved how in your face that little old lady could be. If she were here right now, she'd be asking her the craziest things… she'd start off with the light questions and then she'd ask Maura if I were giving it to her often enough in the bedroom… I can hear her now, "Maura, tell me, is Janie keeping you up at night or is she falling asleep like a cold fish?" Ha! It's true, Nonna would always say, "a cold bed is for the dead, so make sure you pick a winner…" Yeah, Maura would've loved that!

Note to self: share this with Maura later.

Standing here, I start to wonder: 'how does Maura really feel about all of this'. I mean, she did just say that she's never felt this way before, but she said that about how she's felt with women, right? It never felt with her the way it feels with you… Could she see herself with me and me only, or is this more of a, "as per my previous experiences with women, you would most certainly rank in the top percentile Jane", kind of thing? I can't have casual sex with Maura… I just couldn't go there with her and go back to a friendship, or not want more of her, and if I can't have more… well, if that's the case I don't even want to think about changing 'the nature of our relationship'.

In my moment of panic, I see Frankie signaling me over to meet him by the grill. He thinks he's a grill master, but char master is definitely more like it. It seems that in this case though, he's about grill me for more information on the Maura situation… sigh, let's hope I'm wrong about that.

"Hey Frankie, you cremating burgers again?"

"Very funny… so tell me, you and Maura?"

I guess not. I knew this was coming as soon as Maura kissed me when Ant was acting like a fool, I just didn't think he'd be this blatantly nosey about it.

"Nice segue, and by the way… it's none of your business."

"If you weren't my sister then it would be none of my business, but since you are I think I have every right to ask you about who you're dating. So, when did this start, how did it happen, and when the hell did Maura decide to become a lesbian? Or you for that matter? I thought you guys were into, you know, guys."

I'm debating on what I should tell him… should I tell him the truth about ma and her suspicions and how her conversation with Maura got us into this, or should I just go with the flow and keep up the bullshit so he doesn't blow our cover just yet?

He's looking at me expectantly and I can't bring myself to do it… he's not going to accept vague answers, and I really don't want to lie to him. God, he's looking at me with that pathetic, "I'm your little brother and I deserve to know", kind of look again.

Fuck, I can't lie to him, not about this…

"Ma called me this morning at like 6am."

"Yea, she called me too…"

"Well, when she called, she started nagging about me maybe hitting it off with someone here at the party, about how I'm getting older and she wants grandkids… so I got annoyed and told her I was wearing a tie today if she didn't cut the shit. Maura made a comment about me wearing a tie, how sexy I'd look and what kind of outfit I should wear with it, and ma heard her clear as day and assumed that we've been sleeping together."

"How did ma hear her, Maura was at your place?"

"No, I crashed by her… we were still sleeping when ma called."

"But she has a guest room…"

"So what Frankie?"

"So why were you sleeping in her bed?"

"Because we're two grown women who wanted to share a bed… besides, nothing happened, not that it's any of your fucking business."

He's starting to get on my nerves and he knows it.

"I'm sorry, Jane, really… go ahead…"

"So when ma heard her, she asked to talk to Maura and started to tell her how she approves of us, that she's had a feeling all along, that we're perfect for each other, all that good stuff… can you believe she even apologized to Maura for setting me up with all those guys? She said she was sorry for disrespecting her by setting me up."

Frankie looks as shocked as I did when I first heard.

"What?"

"Trust me, I know… so they get off the phone, Maur tells me what happened, and we decide to play the part for today to keep ma off my back. I couldn't take another one of ma's disastrous set ups."

"So this is all bullshit?"

I take a deep breath and look at him seriously… I'm about to hit him with the heavy.

"Not really… what I didn't know is that in playing this part with Maura, I'd start feeling so much more for her… and Frankie, I know for a fact that she feels it too."

He's looking at me like he did when we were kids and I told him I didn't have a penis like him and Tommy… with furrowed brows, an open mouth and a scrunched up nose.

"What is it Frankie?"

"It's just weird ok, this is coming out of nowhere, are you even sure about this? Maura seems too girly to be a lesbian."

"But I'm butch enough to pull it off, you ass? That's so fucking stereotypical, I'd expect an ignorant comment like that from Ant, but not you… and either way, I don't think either of us identifies as a lesbian, I can honestly say that I've never really been interested in women until Maura, and as for her, again, it's none of your business, but she's always been more open to it than I ever was. And too girly? Maura cuts up dead people for a living, she might dress girly, but she's got bigger balls than most guys I know, including you."

"Whoa, I didn't mean all of that… listen, it's just… have you and Maura even thought about what all of this could mean? Not just for you, but for all of us. If you and she decide to seriously date, and things don't work out for whatever reason, everything at work turns to shit because of it… Maura's become a big part of all of our lives Jane. And what would that do to ma, her and Maura have gotten really close, right? And if you guys aren't lesbians, you're bi, and if you're bi, does that mean that you're are open to sleeping with guys from time to time? Is Maura gonna totally cut off all dudes and live happily ever after with you, or is she gonna want to bring a guy into the mix on occasion? I know that if you get into this Jane, you're giving your heart to Maura… and you're not gonna want to share her with anyone once she's yours. I just want to know that the both of you have thought this through. Have you asked her about the bi-sexual thing? About having kids, getting married, any of that?"

"Frankie, we haven't had a real conversation about what's going on between us and where it's all going… I'm sure she and I are going to have a major heart to heart tonight, but as of yet, no. What I do know is that Maura loves me, just as much as I love her… and right now, that's all I need to know. If she and I decide to make things more intimate, it's going to be permanent, because I refuse to lose her… and I know in my heart that unless I fuck things up royally, she'll refuse to lose me too."

"Janie, come meet my boy!"

I hear Anthony yell from across the yard and I have to admit the interruption is welcome. When I turn to see who he's talking about, I realize that the guy he's with looks vaguely familiar. Is he a cop? Maybe I've arrested him? I don't know the when, where or how, but I know I've definitely seen him before.

"We'll talk tomorrow Frankie… like I said Maura and I are going with whatever this is right now, so just keep your opinions to yourself until I figure things out with her tonight."

He looks like he has something to add, but I'm not giving him the opportunity. I make my way to my cousin and his friend, trying, and failing, to place where I've seen him before.

"What's up Ant?"

"Jane, this is Patrick, we've been working together at the same firehouse for the last few years. We've saved each others lives too many times to count, he's one of the good guys like me and you."

Anthony might be a prick, but he's damn good firefighter, he gives everything to his job, just like I do.

"Nice to meet you."

I reach out to Patrick and give his hand a quick shake.

"You too Jane."

"You know, this might sound strange, but you look familiar, do I know you from somewhere?"

He smiled shyly at me before laughing softly.

"I think we've run into each other before, but let me grab a beer first, then I'll refresh your memory."

"I'll come with you… Ant, tell Frankie not to burn the burgers again, last time we had a barbecue he ruined half the batch."

Patrick and I walk towards the cooler and grab two cold ones from the ice water.

"Alright Patrick, spill it… I know I've met you before, but I can't remember the where how or why. Did I arrest you or something? Give you a speeding ticket?"

"You didn't arrest me Jane, but you did try to use your cuffs on me."

"What?"

What the hell is this guy talking about?

"You were celebrating at some bar after you graduated from the academy, that's where we met. I couldn't have been more than twenty two at the time and I was a lightweight at that age. I was so trashed that night, I remember it being the end of my first three day shift, the vets took all the newbies out to congratulate us on our first week of survival. It was kind of morbid, but cool, you know? I noticed you come in with a huge group, tossing back drinks, having a good time. Later on that night, I was at the bar and you popped up next to me to order another round of drinks. I introduced myself to you, we got to talking, and however many drinks later we were back at your place. I woke up that morning and left… I felt sick to my stomach and awkward as hell, I thought it would be best to leave you my number and head home… I left it on your nightstand."

I remember going to the bar that night, but nope, I don't remember bringing Patrick home with me. I wasn't even aware that I'd ever had a one night stand.

"I'm sorry Patrick, I don't remember that night, I mean I remember the bar, drinking and dancing, but I think I was too fucked up to function with any clarity… and if I didn't remember what happened with you, I sure as shit had no idea you left your number. I know it sounds like bullshit, but I was really trashed, I've actually never been that drunk since, and I probably threw it out thinking it was just a random scrap of paper. When I woke up that morning, I was more sick than I've ever been. I must've been so far gone, man… I hope I didn't embarrass myself too much? And I hope I didn't taint your view on picking up women in bars either."

"From what I remember, we were both pretty sloppy," he says with a laugh, "but don't worry, things didn't get very far, we woke up fully clothed so I guess we never got to that point you know… it's still one of my finer drunk memories, Jane. And this is kind of off topic and it has nothing to do with you other than me slightly getting that vibe from you, but I have been dating men lately… but don't worry, this came long after our drunken encounter."

Patrick doesn't look stereotypically gay, or bisexual I guess… if not for his coming out, I honestly wouldn't have had any idea. And wait, what kind of vibe am I giving off?

"What vibe are you feeling?"

"That you may bat for the other team on the occasion… you're not obviously gay, but to someone more attuned to the subtleties it might be apparent… you'd be considered a strong/hard femme in most circles. That's a compliment by the way, if your put off by the term butch, that is… you could be androgynous if you wanted to be, but you like the long hair and light make up, you just don't need to girl it up… it's a good look for you."

"Well thank you, I guess," I say jokingly.

He's funny… if not for these revelations with Maura, and if not for his apparent attraction towards men, I might have actually hit it off with him. Yeah, ma would've loved it if I met someone I deemed worthwhile at this barbecue… 'I told you so' wouldn't begin to cover it. It is kind of ironic that I'm hitting it off with a gay guy right now though… Maura would love that.

Maura…

A future with Maura would mean so much to me… hypothetically speaking, as much as he's cute, rugged but put together - like he takes care of himself in a non-metrosexual kind of way… and yeah, he seems nice, but no… he's just not Maura. And at this point, ma loves her too much to push me to choose some random guy over her.

God, I can hear her now… 'She's gorgeous, and she's a doctor Jane! You're gonna choose a firefighter over a brilliant doctor? What the hell's the matter with you? I thought I raised a daughter with half a brain!'

She did… there's no way I'd choose anyone over Maura, doctor or not.

"So are you seeing anyone Jane?"

I don't know how to answer Patrick's question… technically and officially, no, I'm not seeing anyone, but saying no feels too much like a lie.

"Yes, sort of… it's complicated…"

I have to try and find a way to spark a change in topic to, well… anything else.

"So you and my cousin huh, tell me more about what he's like at work, I only know two things: he used to wet the bed and he can be a major an asshole to his family."

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Just keep walking Maura… that's it, one foot in front of the other.

Seriously… where the heck is my filter? Not only am I blatantly telling Jane how I feel, but I'm throwing myself at her physically, in public if I might add, in much the same manner. First the innocent kisses, then the spine tingling kiss in front of her cousin… now I'm devouring her neck while we take center stage at her family get together.

Oh but her skin is so soft… I'm certain that I've never before felt anything so soft against my lips.

With shaky steps I finally reach the back door and take a moment to straighten out my clothing before entering into the kitchen.

"Maura! Come, come… Jules and I want to talk to you for a minute…"

Angela and her sister are sitting at the kitchen table laughing and chatting happily over a glass of wine… but shifting my mindset from professing my feelings for Jane to interacting with the two women before me is proving to be more difficult than I thought it would be. All I can think of is her and how strange it feels walking into the kitchen when all of my focus is on the steady throbbing inside of me.

Jane, with only an expression of her emotions, managed to do to me what it's taken most if not all of the men I've been with quite a bit of time. Observing her in this state, so fueled with jealousy and passion… it excited me on a carnal level and that's not a feeling I'm familiar with. And I know that sense of possession and ownership should feel off putting to most, but with Jane it felt… it felt… I don't know how it felt, and those three words are hard for me to say, ever, but there's something frighteningly arousing about her jealous demeanor. I know she doesn't own me, I know she'd never hurt me intentionally or try to control me, but yes, I'd give my everything to her willingly. Maybe Jane stirs up the submissive side to my sexual nature… and who knows, I've always been curious about her handcuffs… maybe I can convince her to try a few things with me… or for me?

"Maura, are you ok?"

Angela's voice snaps me out of my daydream and I can tell she notices the blush slowly rising in my cheeks. I finally shut the door and turn to her with an apologetic look.

"Yes, sorry, I've been lost in thought today."

"It's ok, grab a wine glass and sit with us, you know where they are."

I open the overhead cabinet and grab an empty glass before sitting next to Julianne. With a sense of nostalgia, she flips through the pages of a makeshift book that looks to be at least thirty years old.

"I know how much you like your wine Maura, I made Frankie go to the store earlier to buy this especially for you honey."

Angela's too sweet for words, isn't she? I can't imagine my mother being thoughtful enough to pick up a six pack for Jane before her visit.

"Julie and I were just talking about you and Janie. I just need you to know that I couldn't be happier Maura… and I know that I shouldn't stick my nose where it doesn't belong, and Janie would probably lecture me about this, but whatever, I can't help myself and I don't care to either. Anyway, I see how much you love my baby, I know that I never need to worry about her being taken care of, about you ever hurting her intentionally, or taking her for granted… it's once in a lifetime what the two of you have and I know in my heart that you're the one for her… oh my god, I can't wait for you to have babies!"

Jane and I aren't even officially dating and Angela's already claiming ownership over my ovaries. I feel horrible that this all started as a farce, and as far as I know, I dropped quite the verbal bombshell on Jane just moments ago… even though she felt insanely jealous over Alex, when I spoke of my feelings Jane simply stared back at me and said absolutely nothing in return. What if she doesn't feel the same way? What if admitting my feelings to Jane two hours into our fake relationship made this too real for her and causes her to sprint in the other direction?

I normally don't concern myself with what if's, but feeling insecure about where I stand with Jane isn't something I'm used to either.

If this doesn't work out between us, I don't know how we'd be able to mend our relationship and manage to salvage a shred of what we once had… and Jane's poor mother would be crushed if we didn't make it… sigh, in this scenario a break up now or in the future would affect more than just the two of us.

"You're scaring the girl Angela… don't mind her Maura, she has empty nest syndrome which is has her feeling obsessed with hearing the pitter patter of little baby feet again."

Thank goodness for Julie's comic relief.

"It's alright. Thank you for thinking so highly of me Angela, initially I expected you to be firmly against Jane dating a woman, but it seems I was incorrect in that assumption… I truly appreciate how accepting you are of this idea."

"To be honest Maura, if it were any other woman sitting in front of me right now, I might be much more inclined to rip into Jane for bringing home a girl… not for being gay or anything like that, I'm much more open minded than most people my age, but it would be because if she's going to start a serious relationship with a woman, it should be you… and believe me, there's no doubt in my mind about that. I mean imagine Janie dating another woman?"

The thought of Jane with another woman easily conjures up the green-eyed monster that lies dormant within.

"Wow! I see it in your face right now, the thought of that's making your blood boil… and really, with the kind of relationship that you and my daughter have, any girl that Jane brings home would go out of their minds because of how close you are. Jane would have to battle with her every day to prove that you and she have zero romantic interest in each other… and Jane told me you don't like to curse Maura, but we both know that saying that you two have zero romantic interest in each other is a load of bullshit."

She's right… and now I see where Jane gets her dirty mouth from.

"You see, you're blushing like a schoolgirl… let me ask you something… do you love my daughter, Maura?"

"Of course Angela, you already know the answer to that question."

"I know, I saw it most clearly when Janie and Frankie were hurt… you wouldn't leave her side."

"I've never felt this strongly for another human being… I couldn't leave her side."

Angela takes my hand and squeezes it gently.

"Ok, so let's get down to business Maura... Jules and I were talking and we have something we wanted to share with you. My grandmother started putting this book together many years ago… I think I was only four years old when she added the first few recipes, but I added the English translations much later. Anyway, over the years my nonna filled it with her favorites, and when she passed away, my mother, being the oldest, took over and started adding her own. My mother died when Janie was nineteen… they were very close and out of all the grandkids, she took it the hardest… she grieved almost as badly as Julie and I did. A few years before she died the baton was passed to me, which Jules was pretty upset about since she loves cooking so much."

"Shut up Ang, the only reason why you have that book is because you're the oldest, we all know I'm the better cook."

"Yeah, that's why your kids always beg you to come here for Thanksgiving dinner. Ha! You ruined the turkey one year and we had to scramble to find something to feed to the kids… Maura, that turkey was tougher than leather, I swear it. We ended up having sandwiches for Thanksgiving dinner, sandwiches Maura!"

"That was almost sixteen years ago!"

"That doesn't make it any less true..."

I love the playful banter between these two, it's so wonderful to see families actually interacting like families… I've never had that, not until Jane walked into my life, not until she showed me what being a family and loving someone could really mean.

"So anyway… as I was saying before my sister rudely changed the topic, this book has been passed down from generation to generation, always to the eldest daughter."

I nod in understanding and meet Angela's gaze.

"Right, so Jane's next in line to receive the book?"

"Yes, but I wanted to try something a little different… my Janie already knows almost every recipe in this book by heart, and even though she knows every recipe, I know that she's too busy, or too lazy, to ever take the time to cook for herself. She'll cherish this cookbook for it's sentimental value, but I don't think she'll use it enough to show my grandbabies how to make our gnocchi."

My ears perk up at the word gnocchi… I've traveled to Rome, Venice, Milan, Florence, Naples, and Sicily, and I have never in my life sampled better gnocchi outside of Angela's kitchen. I genuinely look forward to that night of the week, even if there's always some sort of family drama that ensues afterwards… it's so juvenile, but eventually someone in their clan ends up arguing over the last morsel, food and utensils go flying across the table, insults are fired back and forth. Jane warned me of the power of her mother's gnocchi… and yes, I desperately want to share in that power.

"The gnocchi recipe's in that book?"

Angela smiles at me and turns to her sister.

"Was I right, or what?", to which Julianne nods in affirmation.

"Maura, in a way this book is our grandmother's legacy… it's the only thing I have left of hers besides the dozen or so old photos our mother kept over the years, and Julie and I divided those between us ages ago. Again, as much as Janie's gonna safeguard this book, she wont put it to good use as my nonna intended. Janie may be next to take the reins, but you and I both know that she isn't gonna add any of her own recipes, and I don't think that she's going to be the one doing most of the cooking when the two of you finally have kids, so…"

I can feel a sense of anxiety creeping through my veins again…

"Angela, Jane and I… these feelings are all very new, we haven't discussed starting a family much less the family dynamics of who plays which part in our relationship, but that's not to say that I presume either of us needs to take on a certain role. Jane just made dinner for us last week… chicken marsala, and it was wonderful."

"Honey, she can cook, but she chooses not to for the most part. I had no idea she still dabbled in the kitchen, I guess she only cooks for you these days?"

Angela looks at her sister with smiling eyes and they simultaneously say 'awwww'… I must admit, the gesture melts my heart instantly.

"It's funny, Jane and I spoke briefly about this topic, and she's already exclusively told me that she'd be 'the guy' in a lesbian relationship… which I thought was stereotypical and somewhat offensive of her to say, I can be butch if I want to be."

They're looking at me like I've grown another head…

"What, do you feel I'm too feminine to be butch?"

I see them both look down at my feet and my eyes quickly dart to that location… darn these strappy three inch sling backs when I'm trying to prove a point.

"My Janie would never choose to wear those shoes… but I don't care about any of that honey, it doesn't matter to me which one of you wants to carry it, I just want a grandbaby before I'm buried six feet underground."

The uneasiness in my stomach settles in once again. If things go well with Jane and I when we converse about which direction our relationship is going, then all will work out in our favor and we may just live happily ever after, but if for some reason things take a turn for the worst… I don't know how I'd ever face Angela again… or how I'd accept not seeing the Rizzoli's as often as I used to.

"I know I want children Angela, and I know Jane wants them too, but… every conversation we've ever had on the subject has always been in relation to us as individuals, or with our future male partners… we've never discussed having children together."

"I know you're saying things are still new for the both of you, but I saw love in Janie's eyes when she first mentioned you at one of our family dinners. She fell for you immediately, she just didn't know it yet… and I saw the same gleam in your eyes the first day she introduced you to the family, do you remember when she pulled the chair out for you?"

Jane had been so chivalrous and accommodating when I attended my first Rizzoli gnocchi night. She later confessed to me that she worried about bringing someone so high society to one of her family 'dysfunctions'. I remember it so clearly… 'Maur, you're boarding schools, yachts and summer homes in the south of France… we're public schools, mass transit and a tent in the back yard… and my family's fucking nuts when they want to be, I was afraid you'd politely excuse yourself before ma even set the table… I was worried, worried of what you'd think of me, or if you'd think any less of me …'.

In that moment, and for the first time, I saw Jane's vulnerable side…

"I remember that night yes…"

"So do I, you damn near swooned when she pulled out your chair… sooner or later, the two of you are going to have to stop keeping each other at a distance and just dive in head first. It might not be the smartest thing to do, but taking a risk in hopes of living a life filled with love, honesty and passion… it's worth it Maura. I got married to Frank for safety and stability, and in the end, he ended up leaving. But just so you know, I never looked at Frank the way you look at my daughter… and as far as the two of you having kids goes, I don't care which one of you has them, or if you decide to adopt or whatever, it doesn't matter to me, I just want my grandbabies!"

Julie nearly spits out her wine at her sister's humorous desperation… and I'm finding that the more Angela talks about us having children, the easier it is for me to imagine Jane and I with babies of our own. I would obviously be open to adoption, but I'm excited at the thought of having a little Jane running around the house too.

"Anyway, I've been trying to get this out since you came in here, but I keep getting off topic… just so you know, Julie and I spoke about this already and she's more than ok with my decision… like I said before, I've decided to do things a little differently than my mother this time around. You're a wonderful girl, and my Janie's never been happier with anyone else… you're family, and I want you to be the one who passes on our legacy Maura… I want you to have this cookbook."

Julie slides the book over to me and I don't know what to say to her… as I stare down at the pages my lacrimal glands take control and my eyes can barely make out the writing.

"I want you to teach my grandbabies how to make our famous gnocchi, Maura."

With tears in my eyes I look up to meet Angela's and look at her in awe… I can't believe she's willing to share this book with someone other than her daughter. Actually, she'd be sharing it with the woman she thinks is soon to be her lesbian daughter in law, right? My goodness, oddly enough I'm genuinely comfortable with that idea.

Looking down at my hands, I twist the ring on my finger and entertain the thought of Jane and I wearing matching wedding bands.

What am I doing?

The what ifs are tainting my perception and I realize instantly how difficult this next conversation is going to be for me… sigh, choosing my words carefully is of the utmost importance.

Angela's smiling at me expectantly, her eyes glistening much like mine, and with that I'm finally able to fully comprehend the level of sincerity in her words and grand gesture… she's entrusting me with this book, her daughter, and with her future grandchildren. She's giving us her blessing, and she's welcoming me to the family, officially, with opens arms.

"Angela, I don't know what to say… I'm truly honored and touched, but this is far too precious a gift to give to me of all people… someone of no blood relation, someone that hasn't even married into the family. This book has been passed on from mother to daughter for three generations and I just… I mean, as much as she doesn't offer to cook for me on a regular basis when we're alone, and as much as I'd consider breaking a law to sneak a peek at your gnocchi recipe, Jane deserves to have this book… even if only for posterity's sake. I don't even know if she'd be comfortable with you offering it to me… isn't she expecting to receive it at some point?"

"Maura, I wouldn't have asked this of you if I thought it was the wrong thing to do, or if I thought Janie would be upset or offended if I offered it to you… plus, if you have it, technically she'll have it too, so what would she have to complain about?"

I don't know what to say… both Angela and Julie are looking at me for an answer and I can't find the right words to postpone accepting or declining their offer. I don't want to decline, I'm touched at her suggestion and in a perfect world I'd accept the book without giving this more than a second thought… but accepting it would mean me telling Angela that Jane and I are planning a future, that we want to have children together, that we want forever… and that she can rest assured that her grandmother's legacy will live on in her grandchildren, through me.

If only Jane were here right now… how can I accept this gift without speaking with her first?

"Just give in to her Maura, Angie's used to getting her way…"

Angela smacks her sister playfully on the arm before meeting my gaze once again… I see nothing but love in her eyes. Could this really be happening? Am I about to agree to give Angela as many grandchildren as mine and Jane's uteri can handle?

Yes, indeed I am… steady breaths Maura.

"I'm honored Angela… and I graciously accept this gift, if you agree to one condition… you have to let me speak with Jane before I leave here with this book tonight. I couldn't bear hurting her feelings and even though she plays the tough guy, I know she's more emotionally sensitive than she lets on. Now… if she's comfortable with all of this, I promise to master these recipes, share them with our children and never cause you to feel regret over this decision Angela."

Before I realize what's happening, Angela's warm arms wrap around me and I feel myself being held tightly in her embrace.

"Thank you Maura, I love you too", she whispers in my ear… I can't help but laugh, Jane does that too, and I've become a fan of their gentle teasing.

I've never experienced this before, my mother isn't as openly and comfortably physical as Jane's… we've never shared the type of bond that most mothers and daughters typically do… honestly, I can't remember the last time my mother told me she loved me, or the last visit we've had that wasn't planned three months in advance in order to fit her schedule.

"Next time we're having gnocchi night at your house, and Janie better help you, it's not a one person job."

"I hope I can do it justice Angela."

"You will honey, you will."

I feel both full of joy and nervous energy as I take all of this in… I need to speak with Jane as soon as I'm done in here.

In my periphery, I see Julianne drinking the last of her wine and reach for the bottle which is now almost empty.

"Enough with the tears and intense conversation Ang, let's get the blender so we can help your daughter in law with her margarita's… we're out of wine and that's not good."

"We have more wine in the fridge you lush, but grab the blender anyway… Maura, could you clear off a little space by the sink please?"

"Of course."

I take my jacket off and place it over the back of my chair before joining Julie by the sink.

"You're in some shape Maura, do you work out a lot?"

"I run a few times a week, but I do yoga for at least thirty minutes everyday. Aerobic exercise combined with the intensity of yoga keeps the heart strong and the body limber. I managed to get Jane to agree to attend one of my yoga classes… secretly, I know she enjoyed the experience, that's why she keeps coming back."

"I think you're wrong about that honey, she keeps coming back cause she knows she gets to see you in a sports bra and pair of tight shorts."

I blush uncontrollably and look out the kitchen window in hopes of finding a distraction. Scanning the yard, I see Jane sitting in close proximity with a handsome stranger by the fire pit. It appears as if they're having quite the conversation… he's whispering in her ear, she's throwing her head back in laughter.

And did he just slap his hand against her thigh?

I don't hear Julie speaking to me until she gently grabs my shoulder. She follows my line of sight and flashes a kind smile.

"I wont say that you shouldn't feel a certain way, but I wouldn't storm out there until I had some real evidence… from what Anthony tells me, Patrick's a good boy, he wont push any buttons here tonight."

"Thank you Julie… I think I might tease Jane for a bit before deciding on a course of action."

After grabbing my phone, I start making my way towards the door and tell Angela and her sister I'd be right back.

[ Who's the handsome one on your left? -M ]

[ My cousin's co-worker, turns out I've run into him before… you'd like him. -J ]

[ Somehow I doubt that. -M ]

[ Why? It's not like you to judge someone before meeting them. -J ]

[ From my observations, I believe I'm already capable of forming an opinion on the matter. -M ]

[ From your observations… interesting. So what's your opinion? -J ]

[ Well, I don't appreciate him placing his hands on you. I find him to be too forward and presumptuous. -M ]

[ My my, is the good doctor jealous? -J ]

From my current position, I notice that Patrick has gone to join Anthony and Frankie over by the grill… Jane looks adorable as she checks her phone every two seconds in anticipation of my reply.

[ Jealousy isn't something I've had to contend with often… now I understand how firsthand how you felt when Alex was flirting so openly with me. -M ]

[ You'd never have anything to worry about, I've never been a cheater, it's not in my nature… and Alex, she gives me a bad vibe, remind me to do a background check when we're back at the station, I'll even vouch for you if you want to file a restraining order against her. - J ]

Jane doesn't notice me until I'm sitting on her lap facing her.

"Is that so detective?"

R&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&I

R&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&IR&I

Maura…

I instinctively drop the phone between us and wrap my hands around Maura's hips, giving them a light squeeze.

"I missed you, where've you been?"

"With your mom and aunt Julie. Remind me that I need to talk to you about all of that after you answer my question."

"Just tell me now…"

"No, first I want to know, who was that guy? You looked content to remain in his company… and why was he slapping your thigh?"

"So you are jealous?"

"Maybe I am…"

"Maybe my ass."

"Language Jane… and stop deflecting, who is he?"

"Patrick… he's Anthony's friend from work, a firefighter, and it just so happens that he and I sort of hooked up in our early twenties. I don't remember much of it, but I do remember him… he vows that nothing happened, we both fell asleep clothed and more drunk than either of us had ever been. I remember that night, at least the drinking and dancing, and then I remember waking up to the worst hangover of my life. There was no sign that anyone had been in my apartment, so I imagined one of the guys had dropped me off…"

"So you like him?"

I can feel Maura tense in anticipation when she asks me that question.

"He's a nice guy, but he's not the one… and trust me I'm not his type either."

"What do you mean?"

"He's dating guys these days… don't mention it in front of Anthony though, he doesn't know and being that he's a bit of a homophobe, Patrick's worried that things at work would take a turn for the worst."

"Ok… since that matter's settled, I think it's about time I tell you what happened in there with your mother."

"Oh god, what did she do now?"

Maura shifts in my lap and clasps her hands behind my neck, licking her lips before beginning her story… god, she has the most amazing lips. I'm imagining kissing her, full on the lips, tasting every inch of her mouth… and it's taking all of my self control to stop myself from doing just that. My hands grip her hips and gently tug at her so she moves a little closer to me, causing her to gasp when the contact becomes more intimate.

"Yea Janie, give us some hot lesbo action!"

I coax Maura off of my lap and grab the first disposable cup I can find, throwing it at Anthony's head only to miss it by an inch.

"Next time it'll be a beer bottle Ant, and trust me, I wont miss…"

"Come on Jane, I need to talk to you privately anyway and we can't do that out here, could we find somewhere to talk… inside?"

"We'll go to my old bedroom, it's far away from the kitchen and my ma's prying ears."

I lead Maura quickly through the house barely stopping to acknowledge anyone that crosses my path. When we reach the final step, I make a quick left and in my frantic rush I trip over the rug landing face first into a pile of junk in my bedroom.

"Jane! Are you hurt? Let me have a look at you…"

Maura hovers over me in a motherly fashion checking for any signs of injury.

"I'm fine Maura, my ego's a little bruised, but I'm ok."

"You're not fine… I need to clean you up so you look presentable honey, there's blood smeared on your forehead."

"C'mon, I'm sure it's no big deal."

"Jane you have a gash above your eyebrow, let me at least clean it up for you… please?"

I can't say no to Maura, especially not when she's tracing her fingers so softly along my jawline.

"Ok…"

She heads over to the hallway bathroom and I follow a few steps behind her… I can't say it enough, she looks amazing today. I walk into the bathroom and close the door finding Maura rummaging through the medicine cabinet. She places a few rows of toilet paper on the bowl's lid and lines up her tools in 'use' order… yep, she's ready.

Leaning my butt against the sink, I grip the sides with my hands and let Maura get to work. Now face to face, I watch her eyebrows furrow in concentration as she dabs at the scrape on my forehead… god, she's being so gentle with me I can barely feel what she's doing. My eyes move to focus on her lips lingering there for only a second before trailing down her neck… I've never wanted to breathe someone in so badly. Maura's scent is one of a kind, and men smell differently, it's not bad different, just different than women… and I couldn't imagine resting comfortably on someone's five o'clock shadow either, but with Maura….god, her skin would feel like silk against my lips.

Moving further down, my eyes fixate on her breasts and I spontaneously lick my lips. They look perfect in my tank top and she knows it, that's why she chose to wear that shirt today.

"Jane…"

With lust in my eyes I look up into Maura's and see her own desire staring right back at me. She looks down at my lips and I don't find it necessary to wait for another invitation. Switching our positions, I place her arms around my neck and lift Maura so that she's resting her behind on the porcelain sink. Grabbing her thighs, I pull her toward the edge and nestle myself comfortably between her legs before supporting her lower back with my hands.

"That shirt's at least one size too small for you up top… which leads me to believe that you wore that shirt on purpose… just like you made it a point to flash your tits in my face when we worked undercover at Merch."

Maura's breathing heavily and I start to feel the heat radiating from between her thighs… fuck, I'm so turned on right now. Tracing my thumb along her mouth, I watch her lips part easily before she takes the bottom one between her teeth… she's so sexy when she bites her bottom lip… and I can tell they're swollen, which she once told me was 'a clear indicator of sexual arousal'.

"Jane, you're making my pubococcygeus muscles spasm…"

"What?"

"You're making me pulse… down there."

"I thought that was just me…", I whisper before crashing my lips onto hers.

Instantly my hands grab Maura's ass and pull her center as close to mine as it can get…for the first time today I wish Maura would've worn something else… a skirt, or a dress, anything but this denim barrier…my tongue reaches out to hers and she welcomes it without hesitation… fuck, her mouth is so soft and warm.

She's quite the aggressor with one hand wrapped in my hair, holding my head against hers forcefully refusing to sever this connection… I've never felt more turned on than I am in this moment with Maura's tongue massaging against, under and around my own.

So intense… this has never happened before, I've never felt this alive over a kiss… and Maura's doing this thing with her tongue and all I want to do is find a way to safely and permanently attach our lips.

I feel the shift in energy as our kiss grows deeper… Maura moans loudly before finally breaking for air.

"Wow… Jane?"

"Yea babe?"

"I've fantasized about this very scenario…"

"This position, the bathroom or the fact that we're at my mother's house?"

Maura licks her lips before answering.

"All three…"

"And how long ago did you have this fantasy?"

My lips are so close to hers I can feel the excitement seeping out of her with each breath.

"It was very recent… Jane, I need to ask… have you ever fantasized about me?"

I pause for a moment and remember the dream I had only three nights ago.

"Yes… I dreamt of you a few nights ago… we weren't in the bathroom, we were in bed, your bed to be exact…"

"And what were doing?"

Maura's kissing, licking and nipping at my neck… forget about what we were doing in my dream, she has no idea what she's doing to me right now.

"Tell me Jane, I need to know…"

I swallow loudly and let out a short gasp when Maura sucks at my neck a little roughly.

"You were pinned under me, and I positioned myself at the perfect angle between your legs, just perfect enough to feel yours gliding against my own… with nothing to separate us, our bodies were writhing against each other, kissing deeply and grinding our hips together in a sensual rhythm… ultimately, without the use of our hands or mouths, we came together in what felt like the most intense orgasm of my life, moaning loudly into each others mouths as the haze receded… god, you sounded so beautiful moaning my name Maura…"

"Mmmm… I want to make that a reality Jane…"

Dear god… as Maura's mouth feasts on my neck I feel the wetness between my legs build up to the point of discomfort. I don't have much time to think about my predicament before Maura's lips find mine once again… as our tongues duel for power I pull her even closer to me and massage her breasts with my right hand…

"Oh fuck Jane…"

"Fuck… did you just say fuck?", I say between kisses.

"I did…"

"That was so unexpected and such a turn on by the way…"

"Fuck I'm so wet Jane…"

Wow…

Our kisses grow in intensity and with a desperation I've never experienced before. In seconds my shirt's almost completely unbuttoned and Maura's is riding halfway up her chest… all I hear are moans and heavy breathing , and before I know it, my hands are on her belt slowly undoing the buckle and tugging at the strip of leather.

"Wait Jane… we have to stop…"

I barely hear her, but once I feel her hands on mine, my brain finally registers her words.

"Oh my god Maura, I'm sorry…" I back away from Maura and stare at the floor in guilt… I should've stopped immediately.

"No, Jane… come back here." I look into Maura's eyes and see her finger pointing to the space between her legs.

"Come here Jane, please… I didn't want you to move more than two inches away…"

I find my rightful place between her legs and place my hands on her thighs.

"I should've stopped sooner Maur, I'm sorry…"

"It's ok, trust me, I in no way wanted you to stop, but we need to discuss something important before we go any further."

She gives me a quick kiss and it calms me down as soon as I feel her lips on mine.

"So, what is it that you need to tell me?"

Breathing deeply, Maura takes my hands in hers and gives them a quick kiss.

"I had quite the interesting conversation with your mother…"

"You interrupted this to talk about my mother?"

"It's important Jane…"

Maura's scolding look puts me right in my place.

"I'm sorry Maur… what happened with my ma before?"

"Jane… do you remember your mother's recipe book?"

"Yea, she has the book my nonna gave her… I'm sure ma's gonna give it to me sometime in the next few years, I know she wants to give it to me before she dies, and you know how she's always going on and on with the guilt about not getting any younger."

"Well, since you're mother thinks we're together, she's convinced that when we have children, it might be best if I am the one to pass on your great grandmother's legacy. By the way, she's decided I'm hosting gnocchi night next week so you better get there early, I might need your help with the preparations."

It's taking my brain a minute to catch up with my ears… my ma offered her sacred cookbook to Maura… and she wants Maura to teach our babies all of our old family recipes, including the gnocchi… wait a second…

"She said she wants you to teach our babies how to make gnocchi, and you agreed?"

"I told her I needed to talk to you first… does It bother you that she offered it to me?"

"It doesn't bother me it's just…"

"Are you thinking that you want to explore being with me before you can commit to a marriage and having children… and that's why you a little thrown off by this?"

"No, Maur not at all… I'm feeling things I haven't felt before, feelings for you that I never knew existed… I don't doubt the depth of our connection."

"In a sense, I know that Jane… but I also realize that accepting this book would mean more than me just accepting a gift from your mother… it would mean that I'm agreeing to spending the next fifty or sixty years as your wife and other mother to your children. How do you feel about that?"

Butterflies… just butterflies at the thought of Maura barefoot and pregnant.

"I like that…"

"Like what?"

"The thought of you as my wife… having my baby… well, you can't technically have my babies, but you know what I mean."

"Actually Jane, stem cell research has come a long way… scientists have already succeeded in creating a fertilized embryo that has two female biological parents… it wouldn't be much of a challenge for us… with the right connections and the right amount of money, both of which I have, it's feasible for you and I to have a baby that's biologically our own one day."

"Are you for real?"

"I assure you, this is real… I'll show you the articles when we get home tonight."

Home…?

Hers or mine…? It's doesn't even matter anymore, home to me is wherever Maura is.

"Wow, children of our own… that would be… miraculous…"

Maura smiles brightly and pulls me closer to her.

"I know that this all started as a farce Jane, but I enjoy being this close to you, kissing you, touching you… I'm excited at the thought of us perhaps building a future together, having a few children running around the house and gnocchi nights of our own. I told your mother I couldn't accept this gift without speaking to you because we hadn't spoken about any of this yet and technically, I still have no idea where you stand…. so the question is, where do you want this to go? I can't have sexual intercourse with you and have things go back to the way they were… actually, I don't think I can go back to the way things were at this point either and we haven't even gone past first base… or is it second?"

I love it when Maura uses baseball analogies.

"I don't want to go backwards either Maur, I want to be with you… more than anything else in this world."

Maura grins and bites her bottom lip once again before kissing my neck.

"I want you to accept ma's cookbook… I'm more than ok with it, I'm actually really moved by the fact that she wants to give it to you. And I know there's plenty more for us to talk about, but until we can speak in private, meaning your place or mine, I don't want to get into any of that here… I just want to kiss you for a few more minutes before the search party comes looking for us, is that ok?"

She laughs in my ear and I can't help but smile at the sound… I want to spend the rest of my life making Maura happy.

"Jane, I want you to promise me one thing before I kiss you…"

"What's that?"

"Promise me that you'll never again ask me for a kiss… you shouldn't have to ask for what's rightfully yours…"

Before I can make a sarcastic retort, Maura's lips find my own and we quickly fall into our rhythm… it feels so natural to kiss Maura like this and I know in my heart that I'll never get tired of doing so. We break apart for just a moment and I wait patiently for Maura to open her eyes.

"What is it Jane?"

"So you're mine…?"

I look at Maura and give her a sly grin while I wait for her reply.

"Yes, all yours Jane… now shut up and kiss me."

Another heated kiss and we're back to groping each other like teenagers… I hope she and I never tire of each other because I couldn't imagine spending another moment without her in my arms, feeling her against my lips… I wonder how we're going to act when the real intimacy starts… mmm, she's such a good kisser. If she's such a good kisser she must be so good at… never mind.

Maura and I are panting heavily now, hands grabbing at each other with the same desperation as before… I can't get enough of her, or close enough to her.

Bang bang bang!

"Janie, you and Maura better not be having sex in my house! You're not even married yet, so while you're living in sin and as guests in my home you'll abide by my rules, capisce?"

Oh my god, how embarrassing… to hell with it, I may as well have a little fun with her.

"Five more minutes ma, you can't rush a good thing!"

Crash!

Yea, there goes her wine glass…

A/N:

Hope you enjoyed it! The next and final chapter will wrap up the party and take us through "the talk" that our girls need to have before finally jumping into bed together. I plan on writing the love scene, but I don't want it to be too in your face and smutty… lol, wish me luck =o)