Warning: Language, absurdness. Also, never try this. The prankee would be PRETTY outraged.

Disclaimer: Writing this little line makes me sad. I think you all should understand why.. ;w;

This is one of those Zack Fair-lives-what-could-have-been stoires. I doubt something EXACTLY like this would happen in the game, but I think it's something they would do just based off their characters xD This is the happy, non-angsty Cloud. The setting time... Crisis Core? I love the friendship that these two have together~ I just MIGHT turn this into a little collection of Zack-Cloud friendship stuff, with humor of course! Maybe another 2 or 3 stories? I already have prompts that I think would be GREAT. But it all depends on Reviews, once again~

Side note; This is one of three other new short stories/Drabbles/Oneshots, whatever tickles you fancy, I have written for Final Fantasy 7. Check it out!

~Sabby-Sama

Fun and Notes?

"Dear God, I'm sweatier than a fat man who walked up half a flight of stairs. Darn ShinRa for making us wear these black uniforms!" Zack Fair moaned as he plopped down on the curb outside of the ShiRan building, in a slouching position.

Cloud, who was sitting next to him, laughed. "Hey, It could be worse. We could be the ones lugging those shipments, right? Especially in this heat. The good thing of being a 1st class is the treatment, huh Zackie?" Cloud, who had finally worked up from a Infantryman to a 1st class SOLDIER, smirked.

Zack looked next to him and shoved Cloud. "Aerith's the only one who can call me that!" The two of them were best buds.

Just then, Kunsel jogged over to them from the unloading trucks. "Hey, slackers!" He shouted and waved from a distance.

"How are you liking unloading all those boxes, Kunsel?" Zack asked with amusement at the sight of the exhausted and sweat-drenched Kunsel.

"Ha Ha. Now get off your asses, you need to help too, you know!"

"Aww! But, Kunsel, Zackie and I are 'supervising'. That's a pretty important job." The blonde said while making air quotes. He looked up at the other man while shielding his eyes from the August sun.

"Well you and 'Zackie' have to do something, so chopchop!" Kunsel clapped.

"Alright, alright. Don't get your thongs in a bunch." The black haired Soldier said jokingly. Kunsel patted them both on the back and jogged away. Cloud stood up and started to stretch his limbs While Zack stayed seated, a devilish grin slowly forming on his face. Cloud stopped his stretching and looked back at Zack to see if he was coming along.

"Hey Cloud. . .How about we have some. . . fun?" an almost demonic voice left Zack's mouth as he saw the look on Cloud's face.

"Okay, first off; never ask if I want to have "fun" with you. That sounds pretty gay. Second; what do you have in mind?" Cloud crossed his arms and a small smile forming on his face. Whatever Zack was thinking, it had to be good. All of Zack's idea's were awesome. Well, except that one time when they decided to play golf in the ShinRa halls with their swords and some experimental materia.

"How bout we play a little trick. On Tseng?" That didn't sound good.

"But Kunsel said to help.."

"No, No. He said to 'Do something.' he never specified." Zack said while wagging his index finger back and forth.

"Whatever you're thinking, let's do it!" Cloud cheered, pumping a fist in the air without hearing the details. He was like a dumb little sidekick who would do anything asked of him.

"So, why Tseng of all people?" The blue eyed blonde asked.

"Cause, my silly little Cloud" Zack ruffled Clouds blonde hair, "He can't get us in trouble!" The 'Puppy' answered energetically. The two of them were standing in the ShinRa employee parking lot.

"Alrighty, so here's the plan. I'm going to put this note under Tseng's car's windshield wiper, then we're gonna stakeout behind that bush over yonder," Zack stopped with his fancy words mid-sentence and jabbed his thumb to a tiny, half dead bush about seven feet behind the car that lined the lot, "and with these binoculars we'll spy on Tseng to see his reaction!"

"Where do you get these ideas?" an intrigued blonde asked his dark haired friend in wonder.

"I saw something like it on Jackass the other night. Plus, I get bored at work sometimes patrolling the grounds." Zack shrugged.

"I'm kinda nervous. What if someone finds out?" an innocent sounding Cloud whispered, as if there might be spies around. He just got promoted and didn't want to jeopardize his position.

"Poor Cloudy. Take a chill pill, bro!" Zack rolled his eyes. Cloud was such a weenie, already chickening out. Zack did a manly skip to the bush that could hardly hide a malnourished squirrel, forget about two buff, grown men. He crouched behind it, spiky black porcupine-like hair popping out over the top and sides. Cloud looked around, nervous as to what to do when Zack left. He clearly forgot the plan.

"Pssst! Cloudy! I forgot to give you the note. C'mere!" an almost yelling voice came from behind the bush.

Great whispering skills, Zack.

The shorter man rushed over to the bush and snatched the note out of his hand. "Why me?"

"Because it'll build up your self esteem. Now go, go, go!" Cloud nodded wildly, rushed over to Tseng's fancy-schmancy expensive looking car, and put the note under the windshield wiper. He rushed back to the puny bush and hid behind it like Zack.

"Good job, buddy! Self esteem points for you." Cloud smiled, he felt this strange feeling. Rebellion, was it called? He couldn't put a finger on it. He wasn't much of a bad boy like Zack. What a good influence he was being on poor Cloud's younger mind.

"Tseng's gonna have a coniption when he see's that note." Zacks voice was shaky, on the edge of bursting into a maniac laugh like Hojo.

Shit, Cloud didn't read what it said. His blondness made him forget. Before he could ask Zack, said person spoke."Oh, Tseng's coming! Shh! Take this!" Zack shoved a binoculars into Cloud's shaky and sweating hands.

The guys were in position, binoculars peering from around the bush on each side, legs jutting out in different directions, not to mention their shoulders. They must have looked like a pair of Peeping Toms to anyone who would be passing by. It must have been a miracle Tseng didn't notice them behind this sad excuse of a hiding spot. Even a blind person could have found them if they were playing hide and seek.

Tseng walked over to his car after a long and stressful day at work. Reno just had to break his coffee maker and it didn't help that Rude inhaled all the donuts at the meeting. He dug into his pockets and fished his keys from his pocket. As he was about to unlock the doors to his prized possession, he noticed the note, face down on his windshield.

"Hmm?" A ticket?" He took the note and flipped it over. The paper was a crudely ripped page from some sort of record book. In a messy scrawl was written: Sorry I hit you car.

Tseng began to freak out. Someone smashed into his baby? His pride and joy? His replacement of a wife or girlfriend? Tseng shook that last thought out of his head. He started to fluster around his car, searching for a dent or scratch among the pristine surface. After ten minutes of scrambling around his car, his eyes fell upon the note that was still in his hand. He uncrumpled it as he realized there was more;

Call me: 1-800-I Don't-Give A-Fuck.

-Love, Zack and Cloud.

When he found those two... When he found them he would shove his freshly pressed black suit jacket down their throats, kick them until they spat it up and then he would force them to wear an apron and re-iron it. Realization of something woke Tseng up from his creepy punishment plans.

Wait a minute. He thought. They put their names on the note? THOSE FOOLS!

Zack and Cloud, who had been watching Tseng for the past ten minutes, started laughing, desperately trying to muffle their sounds.

"Run!" Zack hoarsely whispered. They both ran around the outside edge of the lot, jumped the short fence, and were back at the ShinRa loading port.

"What did you write on that note? You got him good!" Cloud replied clutching his stomach, still laughing at Tseng's reaction. His laughing stopped when Zack told him.

"You what!?" Zack! You put OUR names on it? Dude, how stupid can you be!" Cloud cried out. Tseng knew he was involved.

"We can't have someone else taking credit for that prank-" Zack was cut off by Cloud's hysterics.

"You could have put your name on it! I cannot believe you dragged me into this!" Cloud cried. A whole year of going up ranks, down the drain...

"Well... whoopsies? I mean, you could have told me."

"ZAAAACK!" Cloud lunged at Zack, a bloodthirsty look in his eyes.