Author's Note: I had originally hoped for this chapter to make last year's pre-Christmas/New Year's gift, but it decided to be stubborn, so I'm pushing it out now. To anyone who is still interested in this story, here you go! Enjoy!

Chapter 25

Akanni was certain he was dreaming. Either that or he was dead. There was no way she could…? No, impossible. She was dead for Rahimu's sake! This strange mist that had surrounded him, the lack of rain… He didn't even feel sick from being out in the soaking, wet lands for so long. He was delirious. This could not be real.

Shabihi is dead, he mentally kept telling himself.

But the form that stood before him, the eyes that locked onto his own, eyes he'd been sure he would never see again until death, stared back at him. Those eyes had comforted him, shed tears along with his for all they had lost, shined with love and pride as he grew from cub to lion, and when he completed a hunt. Shabihi's eyes reminded him of his mother's. The two lionesses could have passed for sisters, if it weren't for the fact Shabihi had a sister, and his own mother was smaller than both lionesses. Her fur color – ancestors it's been too long since he remembered what she looked like! – was either darker or lighter than Shabihi's. What he did recall of his mother was her response to the question he'd asked regarding his father. Lying on the grasses of the kingdom he was born in, that long-ago question filled his mind.

"Momma, who was my father?"

The light gold tanned lioness looked down at her son. "He was a rogue."

"Oh. So, he's not the King?"

His mother stared at him, not begrudging his question. It was only natural a cub would want to know about their father. She remembered asking the same to her mother. She also remembered the fear in her mother's voice, on her face. As a cub, the answer satisfied her curiosity, but as an adult it made her angry, and fearful that the Prince, her current King, would follow in his father's pawprints when it came to new blood in the pride. But he didn't, and his son wouldn't either.

"No, Akanni, he's not. Your father was a rogue, but he was very kind." She paused for a moment, reflecting very quickly on the short time she had spent with the lion who had given her Akanni. They knew he would neither be allowed in to the pride or that she would be allowed to leave. King Abasi would not give her permission and she refused to put her own family at risk by leaving in the middle of the night. So, she stayed, and the lion moved on. When Akanni was born she knew right away that upon growing he would be as handsome as his father. Meeting her son's eyes – they had his father's color, red hazel – she said, "Akanni, I believe that your father would have loved you as I do."

Her son looked up at her, saw the sadness in her eyes and head bumped her. "I love you Momma," he said with a small purr. Despite being so young, Akanni's cub mind was sure about these few things: His father would have loved him. His mother did, and he had friends he cared about and who cared about him in turn. None of his friends had their fathers, but they were content. He would be too and that was enough.

Akanni forced himself to speak. "Shabihi… is it really you?" He asked this question what seemed like forever ago.

The lioness smiled at him. "Yes, Akanni. This is not a dream, I'm real."

The light gold tanned male stumbled up onto his paws, shaking his head, thinking that at any moment the form of his adopted mother would disappear. It didn't. She's telling the truth. It really is her, but why –?

As if reading his thoughts, Shabihi said, "I'm here to help you, son. I am very proud that you've made it home, and I know how difficult it's been for you in the Western Plains, upon learning about Dhoruba."

His mouth dropped at the mention of the King's name. "You know?"

"The afterlife is full of all kinds of things. Nothing can be hidden there."

Akanni started to move, to get the feeling back in his legs again and remove any remnants of the rain from his body. He shook himself, but didn't feel any wetness. He stared at Shabihi. She looked the same, only much healthier. Her current state reminded him of the way she looked when he was a cub, when their lives had been good, despite their fear of Prince Dhoruba's father. "You know?"

Without a word of reply, Shabihi started to walk, the mist encircling her until she all but disappeared inside of it. A look of confusion, but curious, Akanni followed. He wanted to know why she was here.

"You asked Rahimu for help, so he sent me."

Akanni's ears went forward, then back. His whiskers twitched, her statement sent him into silence. He thought about how his mind wouldn't shut down, how he kept thinking about his time as a rogue, Shabihi's death, Johari and how much Bukua's youngest daughter had come to mean to him. Yes, he asked for help, but nowhere, not even in his spirit did he think his prayer would be answered like this. He wondered if she would speak further. She didn't. He licked his maw while his heart made short beats. He could barely breathe, and the dead grass felt hard under his paw pads. The young lion looked at the form of his adopted mother. She was here, with him, but was she –

"No, I can't eat or drink anything here." Shabihi looked around, sadness filling her eyes. "These lands are not healthy, which is why no one has settled." She met eyes with Akanni. "I am a spirit, sent only to you."

That statement made his insides twist. He thought he was going to be sick, so he slowly swallowed, gathering his thoughts. Okay, where do I start? Should I tell her about Dhoruba, or… Wait, she knows everything already. It'd be pointless to –

"Just talk to me, son," she said gently.

Her voice, her presence was enough to get him to just that. In many ways, she had the same effect on him as Johari, which was startling. So, it all came out, everything he experienced from the moment he had laid her to rest. His desire to move forward without her, his hauntings during the night, fear during the day.

He flinched, upon saying, "There times that I wanted to join you and Mother… My friends. Everyone." He paused, pushing through the dryness that gathered in his throat. "Shabihi, I – I wanted to kill myself." Anger laced his words both at the admittance and the shameful truth they held. "It hurt so badly, and it hit me that I was the last survivor of our pride, our family." He stopped and growled, claws out. "I wanted to search every kingdom, every rogue lair and kill him! I knew he was alive, out there, probably ruining more lives the way he did ours!"

Akanni spat on the ground, adrenaline coursing through his body. He brought up things that he kept to himself for too long. Not even Johari knew this. "Despite keeping my promise to you, that I would keep going… I wanted my life to end! I would purposely go for days without eating and drinking, though sometimes it was hard to even find a waterhole or a small sized herd… same with shelter. But when I did find anything I didn't use them. I was miserable without you, and the dreams of my mother and friends' death returned. Sometimes it became too much, but when I did sleep, I would see you and Mother and the friends whose names I shamefully forgot!"

He waited for a long beat. There were no words from the lioness. The air around him stopped. Was it even cold anymore? He sniffed. The atmosphere didn't feel like it had rained! There wasn't that sweet post-rain smell. What was there made his nose burn. Shabihi didn't speak and this made him lash out further. "Say something, please! You said you're here to help me, so do it! Help me!" His breathing increased, his chest heaved with every word. Fury filled every part of his body and he quickly felt grateful that the lioness was a spirit.

Shabihi turned to him, her eyes soft but intense. "What are you going to do about Dhoruba?"

He growled softly. "You know about him." It wasn't a question. A numbness began to form in his head. "He's the Prince Dhoruba of these dead lands, the one who destroyed our lives, killed our families, our friends!" A snarl. "He has a kingdom of his own, but you already know that too, right? When I first joined I had no idea it was him. Everything was fine. I-I thought I finally found a home, peace, stability, everything I hoped to find with you."

The lioness gently nuzzled him, marking her adopted son with the fragrance of her scent, much like she had when he was a cub, still grieving over the loss of his blood mother. "I know how much you wanted that. I did too." She pulled away, hoping her gesture was enough to get his attention, fully. Taking his silence as an advantage, she continued. "Upon my death I realized that I wasn't meant to find a new home. You were. You can keep it, but to fully enjoy it –"

"I need to make peace with the lion who killed my mother, I know!"

His tone was not lost on her. She glared at him. "That's right," she said sharply. "You have to. The question is, do you want to?"

As much as he tried not to, that very question made him flinch. He'd been fighting that question since before he left the Western Plains. It was the question Johari had asked without voicing it, same with Kesha and Rasuli. He was here, had traveled with the two rulers and the older lion to this place: To make peace. He had been reluctant, hesitant. Johari had encouraged him, to do it for himself, not anyone else, not even her. He battled with it throughout the journey.

Standing in the dead grass with Dhoruba he had been prepared to confront the older lion about what he did, but his snide comments got the better of him. His words were fully intended to keep the punishment going, to make sure that the dark brown lion never forgot how his actions affected Akanni personally. He had refused to go after Dhoruba when the two of them parted ways. Being 'home' again brought that day and old memories back.

Akanni sighed deeply, wishing he could find some prey to hunt. He was hungry. He was thirsty. Nonexistent air seemed to choke him. The strange mist didn't help either. He couldn't even see in front of him. But this spirit form of Shabihi was still here, that much he knew.

Do you want to? He growled, the urge to lash out stronger than ever. Instead, he sat on his haunches, defeated and shut his eyes. His heart sank. He missed his mother. He missed Shabihi, even though she was right beside him. His heart told him it was only temporary, until he resolved his issues, his internal conflict. He missed Johari. If he had ever known his father, he would have missed him too. The question echoed around in his head. Taking a breath hurt. They all expected him to make peace – Dhoruba's offspring, the shaman (though Akanni barely recalled him), Queen Kesha, Rasuli, and of course Johari.

But what do you want?

He groaned, the mental words paining him.

"What do you want?"

He shut his eyes against the words. Shut his ears… wait! His ears… those words were spoken aloud but in a soft monotone voice!

"Akanni, what do you want?"

She said it again, insistent this time. Then he realized with fear that he had never really asked himself exactly that. It stunned him and made him think back to all those conversations he and Shabihi had after a successful hunt or when one of them couldn't sleep and they would talk until one did. Sometimes it had been him, other times her, or both. When he was a cub, as he grew up… Far off days, so long ago now. The question haunted him after Shabihi died, and during his own crisis of whether he should keep going. It was obvious what he wanted: Peace, community, friendship… love. The problem was, to obtain it and fully move on, he had to confront the killer of his mother and friends.

How do you do that, his thoughts screamed.

When it was clear he wasn't going to speak, Shabihi moved close to him until they were face-to-face. She eyed him carefully. She knew his hurt, could feel it as if it were her own. He had been carrying this weight for his entire life. It was time to drop it, and whether he knew it or not, that was also why he was here. She peered at him, narrowing her eyes, a soft growl emerging from the back of her throat. It startled him enough that he raised his head upward, his eyes meeting hers.

He wasn't sure what to say. What could be said that hadn't already been? Didn't she know what was on his mind already? All the talks he'd had with Johari about this? Those few conversations with Queen Kesha? Of course, she did! She died and was alive in the afterlife, a place where nothing in the realm of the living could be hidden. He shrugged and wished for this mist to leave, so he could see where he was, so he could find a waterhole. His brow furrowed a little. Was the water even safe? He ran his tongue over his maw. Thirst called but without clear water…

"Dhoruba, the lion who accepted me into the Western Plains, where he is ruler, where he was Prince of these lands…" He had spoken softly, and the rest of what he wanted to say left. Barely contained anger rose to the surface. "I… I c-can't…"

"You can't, or you won't? There is no in-between."

At that, he looked up, eyes flashing. "What do you mean?"

"I know you heard me." She couldn't mince words with him. This was too important. His future in the Western Plains or anywhere else was at stake, and despite or in-spite of his stubbornness, he needed to do this. "Your anger against Dhoruba is understandable."

"If you were alive, would you say that?" The moment the words left his mouth he instantly regretted them. She had no choice in dying. It wasn't her fault her leg had become infected.

"I don't know," she said truthfully, her ears going back slowly against her head. "I'd like to think so. If I were alive, and had found the Western Plains with you, I would have done what you did. I would have settled. If I discovered that King Dhoruba was the same lion who took everything from us, I would have been angry. Chances are I would have done what you did and attacked. I saw him kill my sister." Shabihi sighed, suddenly irritated, not just with herself but her adopted son. Had she not talked to him enough? She never imagined encountering Prince Dhoruba again, just as she never imagined dying, though she considered the latter a possibility. But Dhoruba, Prince Dhoruba… now King Dhoruba. She empathized with Akanni's fear, his uncertainty and anger.

"You understand then, don't you? He murdered everyone we loved, and how does Rahimu repay him? By giving him a kingdom, an heiress, and with her he has two cubs, who are now grown. Oh, they know the truth about him. Including the guardians and they still follow him!" Akanni's claws came out and he scratched the ground, planting his paws firmly. "How? Why? Is it loyalty? Are they blind? He's a murderer!"

"To you, he is. But to them, he's more than that. He's their King, he's a father of two, and somebody's mate. They know him as that, not the way you knew him. You were just a cub, Akanni."

His red hazel eyes snapped, and he gave a loud growl. "I can't forget, Shabihi. My mother… my friends…"

"I lost a sister… and many friends. You're not the only one."

The lion's mouth dried further. "I didn't mean –"

She knew she had to press forward. They were just going back and forth now. It was wasting time, and hers here was limited. She walked, not bothering to turn her head to see if he was following.

He shut his eyes and chided himself for his brash and hurtful attitude. Regardless of how Shabihi came to be in his presence she was here, and he was treating her as if she had no idea what he had to deal with. But she did, despite being dead. He watched her walk away and made the short sprint to catch up with her. The mist was still there, encircling them and moving as they moved. It sent a chill down his back, making the fur bristle. His teeth chattered.

"Shabihi," he tried.

The lioness stopped and turned to stare at him. The sadness in her eyes could not be denied and she could see her adopted son turn his face away at the sight of hers. "Akanni… I raised you, knowing that you would need a mother. As the seasons passed, I know you began to see me as a teacher, a guide, but that never stopped you from calling me 'Mother'. Sometimes it made me happy, even when you started calling me by my name. Either way, you respected and loved me. You could have left once your mane grew out, but you stayed. A bond formed between us, one of tragedy."

"He deserves to be punished for what he did."

Shabihi sighed, her heart giving a jolt of pain. She gasped and shut her eyes.

He looked at her, alarmed. "Are you alright?"

"You want to kill him." Her eyes opened. Seeing him about to speak, she quickly continued. "Don't lie to me, Akanni. You want him to pay for what he did. The only way he can do that, in your eyes, is if he dies."

Unbidden, images of Jibade and Johari flashed in his mind's eye. Conversations he had with the guardian's daughter, the very few words he spoke to the Prince/Heir… He quickly realized that even before leaving he never really talked to Jibade, save for the one talk they had upon his recovery. Jibade was going to make a good King. It didn't take him long to admit that. He would have talked with the younger lion more, but the latter's royal duties kept him busy. Akanni shut his eyes, knowing that it was more than that. Dhoruba's past revealed… what could Akanni say to the young Prince that hadn't already been? How could he be kind to the royal heir who had placed his long cubhood friendship with Johari's brother at risk because of the love he had for his father? He avoided talking to Jibade for that reason. Fear that his words would condemn him for something that Jibade chose without hesitation. To love in-spite of disappointment, even hatred. What he saw when sharing a piece of a carcass with the Prince and Princess: Love from a son and daughter to their father.

His head began to hurt as images of Jibade and Mpenzi filled his mind, but so did the hurt he would cause if he went ahead with his inner desire. If he did he would never return to the Western Plains. Queen Kesha would tell him so, unless he did what Dhoruba did here so long ago. Just disappear. It would leave the Queen curious enough to venture out and find her mate's bloodied body. It would leave her with images she would never get out of her head, and she would be burdened with the task of returning home and informing her family. Which left him rooted to his place in the grass.

Out of the corner of his eye the mist seemed to be getting closer… but only to him. He swallowed. "I…" He tried to take a breath, only to dry heave and sneeze.

Shabihi walked up to him. "You're a lot of things, Akanni, but you are not a killer." She narrowed her eyes and growled quietly. "No matter how many times you've imagined it, dreamed of it, you could not bring yourself to cause fatal harm to Dhoruba."

Ears pinned back he growled and lowered himself into a pounce-like stance. Tail moving in soft swift strokes behind him he tensed. Did she really know him? Did any of them? The lions of the Western Plains didn't know what it was like to lose someone so tragically. To carry their last cries and words and images of their torn bodies in your mind day in and out. None of them had any idea what it was like to lose everything. He envied them their prosperity, their families, and peace.

But Dhoruba knows, said a voice in the back of his mind.

This time he snarled and turned his head away, the movement so violent he was afraid he made the pain in his neck that much worse.

Dhoruba knows. He's been where I am. And his father is the one who led him to –

No! He growled again and turned his head, his eyes, back to Shabihi. He wasn't surprised to see her staring back at him with…

"I don't want you to keep living like this. Neither does your mother."

Eyes wide he could feel the mist begin to touch his side. His fur clung to him. Bile filled his throat. "Mother?" The word stumbled out. His heart clenched, and he fell back on his haunches. "S-she knows?" The words hurt to get out, each accompanied by a panicked gasp.

Shabihi nodded. "I told you. In the afterlife, nothing is hidden. She's fearful for you, so am I."

He swallowed the huge lump that gathered in his throat. The action was hurtful. His whole body numbed. He couldn't speak.

"I know you're struggling, but you can end it by forgiving Dhoruba."

At that, his patience turned to fury. "Everyone keeps saying that!" He snarled viciously, the urge to attack something, anything became a near all-consuming desire. Blood coursed through his body and the claws on all four paws unsheathed. The mist surrounded him now. If it weren't for his eyes being able to see it, he would have thought he'd gone blind. "Could you? If you were alive and we found the Western Plains –"

The lioness growled dangerously. "We're not talking about me, Akanni, we're talking about you. You are the one who needs to make peace. You want to return to the Western Plains, don't you? You want to have a real life?" She paused for a moment, her heart beating so hard she knew that if she were fully alive she'd flinch and shut her eyes against the pain. But she knew why she felt this way: her love for her adopted son. "I want that for you, and so does your mother. She's made peace with Dhoruba's actions. She knows it was his father who sent him over the edge. This may sound strange, but they all forgive him. Even his own mother. Your refusal to forgive is hurting you." She felt his anger and frustration. "Have you tried putting yourself in his place?"

He looked up at her, jaw slackened slightly. "How can you ask me to –"

"Have you?"

He shut his eyes and clawed the ground under his front paws. "Why!"

"If it were you, abused by your father, no matter what you did, how much of it could you take, especially when you were fully grown?"

The question quieted him. His heart beat to the point where it echoed in his ears. He… Would I have just ran? Or… It was a difficult question, the answer more so. Just what would he have done? Inside the mist he saw an image of a younger King, no, Prince Dhoruba. He shook his head, shut his eyes and opened them again, but what he saw was real. Had the mist done this? Was it Shabihi? Did spirits have this kind of power? Or were the thoughts of the Western Plains lions, about Dhoruba playing tricks on his already fragile mind?

Akanni could see the Prince and another lion, his father. He couldn't hear any words exchanged, but a look of anger flashed across the King's face, and he raised a paw – claws unsheathed – and struck his son. Akanni flinched at the sight, seeing the pain on the Prince's face, in his eyes. He also saw the slow rising of what would be Prince Dhoruba's breaking point. Just from the look on Dhoruba's face, it was easy to see he had been hit before. No doubt it had started from cubhood. Verbal explanations were far removed from seeing it, regardless how the latter happened.

"Okay," he heard himself say. As soon as he said the words, the forms of Dhoruba and Abasi were gone. A thought crossed his mind. Was it that he needed to leave the Western Plains, to get away from all those who knew Dhoruba as he currently was, so he could understand, with an adult's eyes, who he was back then?

"Shabihi," he tried to say.

"Now, imagine that day."

He stared at her, incredulous. "What?"

"Do it. Imagine Dhoruba and Abasi's last patrol together. Do you remember what the weather was like that day?"

The redmaned male searched his mind as hard as possible. Was he with his friends? Was his mother nearby? His front legs hurt from standing so long. He remembered his mother's last call: Telling him to run.

"Take him, Shabihi! Take him and run!"

Those were the last words his mother ever spoke. Now, they filled his ears and he let out a pained whimper. "Shabihi, he killed her!" Akanni said, his voice shaking with rage as hot tears ran down his face, more blurring his vision.

"Yes," the dead lioness sighed. "And, if Dhoruba hadn't snapped, there is a chance his father would have killed him, and he would have taken Dhoruba's failure as a son out on everyone. Maybe even the male cubs of the pride, including you."

At those words, he took a step back and then yelped, as if something struck him. He let out a soft roar at the contact and turned swiftly. Nothing was there, nothing but the mist. He tried to breathe, but couldn't. His throat tightened. "So, you think it all would have happened anyway?" The very thought horrified him. King Abasi was that unstable? If true, then Dhoruba's actions…

"Akanni, he would never do anything to hurt you. If he were the same lion you knew as a cub, he would have killed you. But he didn't. He would have gone from one settled land to another. He didn't."

The lion glanced at her, not wanting to believe her words, but… they did have merit. He thought back to wanting to kill Dhoruba, and unwanted, an image of Jibade and Mpenzi entered his mind. Whether he liked it or not, Dhoruba was their father. He never knew his, and the only father Dhoruba ever knew abused him for the sake of it. Was Shabihi right? Would Abasi have killed him?

The Prince and Princess hadn't done anything to him. He considered them friends – despite having not spoken as much to the Princess – and both treated him with nothing but kindness. Neither rebuked him for his attitude toward their father. They could have. Why didn't they? Was it due to their upbringing? They grew up with their friends and family. All he had after his mother was Shabihi. He had been blessed to have her and despite his want to die after she had, he pushed onward. Because she wanted him to, because she took up where his mother had left off. He survived.

As much as he wanted Dhoruba to pay for what he did… the lion was a father who lost everything because of his own. So, if he killed, albeit out of what he thought was righteous vengeance… would the same happen to him? Would he be consumed by bloodlust until it was satisfied, no matter how long it took? Could he be that kind of lion? Could he live with that and be haunted by it?

To commit such an act would mean he could never return to the Western Plains. He'd be back to where he started, and it wouldn't be the fault of anyone but him. He thought about Johari and her kindness, her unhesitant act to be there when he woke up that first time. Her unspoken choice to stay with him every day since his arrival… He thought of the friendship he could still develop with Jibade, even Mpenzi…

Shabihi was right, in no uncertain terms. He had a second chance. He had a chance to end his pain.

Eyes still closed, he breathed in and out, continued to think of the Western Plains young royals, the guardians, and the Queen herself who took this journey with them. She cared about him, he knew, and she never rebuked him. All she wanted for him, was what she wanted for her mate: Peace. His mother, in the afterlife, wanted that for him. Everyone he currently knew wanted that, but they wanted it for Dhoruba too.

He was allowing his stubbornness, his refusal to see Dhoruba's blood-filled actions for what they really were. Survival. Yes, innocents died, but in the end Dhoruba got what he wanted, and, as others told Akanni, he blocked it out upon seeing the reality.

Akanni had paid dearly for Dhoruba's actions, but thanks to Shabihi, he was alive. He lived, only to finally meet the lion who turned his life upside down. The former Prince found what had taken Akanni his whole life until this moment: Peace, prosperity, friends and family. His anger against the older lion wasn't just for what he lost, it was envy. Dhoruba had what he most wanted. The Western Plains ruler remembering his past, and Akanni's own connection to it, had shattered any hope the younger lion had of peace.

Stubborn.

The mental word mocked him. But it was the truth. He was being stubborn, and to his surprise now that he thought of it, Dhoruba showed none of that. He was so desperate to be free of his past that he would do anything, even follow a strange lion far from the home he'd known for four years to return to the lands he'd been born in. He endured Akanni's scorn and anger and never, as far as the younger lion knew, complained. He took it with dignity.

Sorrow enveloped Akanni's body, making his legs tremble. The words, "He's a better lion than me," left his mouth in a low mutter. But he was right. So, what did that make him?

"You know what you have to do," he heard the lioness quietly say. "Please, for your own sake. He's not that lion. He hasn't hurt you. It's clear that he is sorry, more than you know."

Her words were a plea. All Shabihi wanted was a future for him, whether it included her or not. She wanted him to have peace and safety. Family, friends and to live out the rest of his life without fear. Could he do that in the Western Plains, under Dhoruba's leadership? The elder lion was as broken as him. The cruelty of King Abasi had followed them throughout their lives, the dead King's claws pierced their hearts, making them bleed every day. Dhoruba had been hurt by too many creatures and found salvation with others who did not know from personal experience. Who gave out words of healing, not condemnation. It would not have changed the past, and they knew it. So… what would he have done?

Akanni was still rooted to the ground, images swirling in his head and before his tear-filled eyes. Each more terrifying than the last. Then he saw, in the mist, Dhoruba, tired and weary. Akanni wondered. Where was the King now? Was he having the same problems? He focused on the mist image the lion he hated for nearly his whole life. Now, he looked in to the faint form of Dhoruba with new eyes.

"Do you understand now?" the form asked. "Why I did what I did? I didn't mean for it to get out of control. I can't change that. Forgive me, Akanni. I would never hurt you anymore than I would hurt my family. You lost everything because of me, but I want your forgiveness. I could have attacked you upon realizing who you were and didn't."

The apology kept going. Every word caused hurt. The worst part was that he believed it, which frightened him. He closed his eyes and after opening them again, the image was gone. But the words lingered and his want to believe them did too. The royal family let him stay, be one of them when he had nowhere to go…

Akanni growled as the emotions and the cold he felt all over his body made him cry out a little. He sank to the ground, onto his stomach. He felt defeated, exhausted, and for the first time, he was tired in every way that mattered. This was his last chance and he knew it. Would he waste it and continue to let the past rule him?

Forgiveness… The word held so much weight that just thinking about it made the lion choke. He tried to breathe, found he couldn't… again. Shabihi was right. He had to do this, if it meant going back to the Plains and living. In the land of his birth, where his life changed. So many had died that day, but so did he and Dhoruba. Their lives as they knew it were over, dead. They started anew. Dhoruba had found new life in the Western Plains. Akanni thought he had too.

You still could. Forgive him!

Each imagined scenario of how things could have gone played in the lion's head. Even a different way for himself if he killed Dhoruba. He would run for the rest of his life. No peace, no hope, no friends, no future. That was no life. He didn't want that.

Wasn't the real villain King Abasi? If he hadn't been so cruel to his son…

Everyone was a victim of the long dead ruler's cruelty, but Dhoruba and him were the only survivors with scars that needed healing. The innocents of that day were at peace. His friends, his mother and Shabihi. He knew what steps he had to take…

The lion swallowed, forcing the lump back into his throat. One tear, then two, from both eyes ran down his face.

"I forgive him," he heard himself say lowly. Then, more firmly, so the dead lioness could hear, "I forgive him." He felt the meaning of the words spread throughout his body. His heart lifted, the weight slowly being released.

"Will you tell him that?"

Another swallow. "Yes."

Shabihi smiled and walked up to him, nuzzling his head, feeling the softness of his mane. She purred. "I'm proud of you, so is your mother. Make peace, return to the Plains, live, serve a King who is worthy of your strength and loyalty."

He sighed deeply, savoring her reassuring presence for as long as he could. While the idea of serving Dhoruba was unbelievable, it was a better thought than if he ever served Dhoruba's father. Unlike Abasi, his son deserved loyalty and respect. "I will."

The mist began to clear. He stepped away and looked around. The atmosphere felt different, though everything still appeared the same. The lands would always be dead, which made the redmaned lion's heart sink a little. When he turned to Shabihi again she was slowly fading. He knew it was going to happen, so he had to say the words quickly. This would be his second chance until he saw her again after he died. Which wouldn't happen for a long time.

"Thank you for taking care of me, Shabihi. I love you, and Mom."

The lioness smiled. "We both love you Akanni."

He closed his eyes and breathed in the air, expecting the same unbreathable scent, but it wasn't there. The smell of post-rain and Shabihi's scent filled his nose. Some of the weight on his heart lifted again. She helped him see past his hurt, to see that which Dhoruba struggled with for his entire life. His actions were not right, but fear and anger led him to kill, and would have done the same to Akanni. How could two lions be so alike?

He took a step, then another and soon began a sprint. He had to find another place to sleep. Who knew being visited by the spirit of a dead loved one could be so exhausting? He felt better than ever and was quick to find a small cave that he could rest in.

Stepping inside and laying down just in front of the entrance, he put his head down on his paws but before surrendering to sleep he thought about Dhoruba. "Okay," he said aloud to himself, "it's up to you now Dhoruba. We'll have a lot to talk about, but… I have a new start, and I'm not going to waste it." He sniffed the air. "Make peace with yourself… my King."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

She stared in disbelief. The word "Dad," left a strange and frightening tingle on her tongue. Her mouth had spoken the word, but her mind refused to wrap itself around the validity. The lion in front of her looked like him. He even had the same eyes as her, dark blue like the night sky. Eyes of the Western Plains royal line, for the last several generations. The ruler and the heir had them. Her brother, Taraji, a King in the east – a ruler for as long as she – had the eyes of their mother, a shade of green, lighter than the grass of home. This lion's mane was the same shade of black as her father, his form…

Deep in her spirit she knew the truth. It was him. She couldn't mistake that strong, yet humble form if she tried.

"Kesha, I understand your fear, but please don't be afraid. I am real."

The lioness took a step back. Fear wasn't the word she would use to describe her feelings about this. About seeing him again after all these years. He looked younger than she remembered. Was that a… side effect from being in the afterlife?

"How?" she asked, swallowing back a large lump in her throat. It was the only thing she could say, until she felt comfortable to engage in real conversation.

Amri smiled gently. "I'm here to help you."

She titled her head in confusion. "With what?"

"Your conflict with Dhoruba," the dead King said with quiet care.

His daughter scoffed and snarled. This again? She'd gone through it with Rasuli! "What conflict? I made peace with what he did. I don't condone it, but –"

Amri eyed her. "You made peace with what happened on the outside." Before she could reply, he added, "That day, when he told you, Jibade, Mpenzi, and the guardians… until it was just you two alone. You told him what he needed to hear, and what you thought you needed to hear."

The Queen gasped in shock. Surprise filled her eyes. Her jaw slackened as a growl slowly emitted from her throat. "Father… How could you say that? I meant it! Every single word was true." She felt her front and back claws unsheathe. This lion wasn't her father. He couldn't be… The King Amri she knew –

The spirit of the old ruler sighed in pain. He'd had a feeling this would be hard. "I believe you. I don't doubt your words, but Kesha… your mate confessed to murder. Genocide and regicide."

"He didn't have a choice! His father was cruel!" The lioness's breathing increased, her heart pounded against her ribs. "He wasn't…"

Amri nodded. "Like me," he said softly. "Kesha, you and Dhoruba are from two different lands, with different fathers and different cubhoods. The lion you met and fell in love with was a lion we all thought left his homeland because of a tyrannical father."

"Which turned out to be true," she countered.

"But not the whole truth." He narrowed his eyes, staring her down in a way he hadn't done since she was a cub. Only when she and her brother got into trouble with their friends. "Bloodlust and anger took him over, and once both were satisfied he saw what he did. He ran and in the shock, the reality, he blocked it." Amri paused and breathed heavily. He hadn't been here long and already he was feeling the tug of the body he once had. Pain and sorrow slowly enveloped him, but all for his daughter. She wasn't in denial, not on the outside, just within. He, like Rasuli, was trying to reach her heart, her spirit because much like her mate, she was fractured and needed to be fixed.

Kesha growled lowly and shut her eyes. Her whiskers twitched violently. "Father, what do you want me to say? I still love him, isn't that enough?!" She couldn't believe he was doing this. Spirit or not, why was he questioning her? Why couldn't he just take her word for it? She was alright. She did make peace! Dhoruba was still hers!

The dead King's ears fell back slowly. He had to push forward, no matter how much it hurt. But it did… badly. He had to hurt his daughter, so he could help her. Her pain was deep. He walked up to her and gently nudged her, fully expecting her to lash out viciously. But he was dead. She couldn't hurt him physically. She didn't move, which he took as a good sign. "I know you love him and there's nothing wrong with that. He committed his crime long before he met you. Can you honestly tell me you fully intend to continue the rest of your life with him?"

"He told me why! I don't blame him!" She stared at him, suddenly not seeing the father she knew, but an entirely different lion. He had been dead for well over three years! Just what was the afterlife like and was it capable of altering someone's personality?

Amri's eyes darkened slightly. The conflict within his daughter was growing substantially. "Make no mistake Kesha. Rahimu judges the living and the dead. He doesn't take kindly when parents mistreat their children." She opened her mouth to speak, but his next words silenced her. "Nor does he take to children enacting vengeance in the form of bloodshed against their parents, regardless of how they were treated. Dhoruba did act in self-defense, but he still committed a crime. He could have prevented the bloodlust from taking over after he killed his father, who was the only one to ever a lay a paw of harm on him. He could have forgiven his mother for being weak and neglecting him when he needed her most. He could have spared the lionesses – whether they were mothers or not – they only followed King Abasi out of fear. The cubs… Akanni's friends, they were innocent, and Dhoruba killed them anyway. Even amid bloodlust and anger he had a choice. He made it."

Kesha laughed dryly. "Are you here to judge him or help me? Would Rahimu let you have it both ways?"

The lion shook his head. "I don't know. This is new territory for me, in as much as learning your mate committed murder is to you."

"I still love him," she said plainly.

"I'm not saying you shouldn't. Love is a choice. Every action we take is a choice, and good or bad, there is consequence."

She stared at him, her body aching from the conversation. Had the carcass she and Rasuli caught been bad, and now she was trapped in a hallucination? No. Her emotions toward Rasuli and the spirit of her father was real. Pain filled her head.

Amri stopped talking. He wanted to give her time to reflect on his words, and himself time to consider what he would say next, but he could only wait so long. His ears fell back against his skull. He was failing to reach her. Despite not needing to breathe he felt like he was choking. Rahimu…

Keep going. You are strong.

Was he? He had been dead so long he wasn't sure what it meant to be strong. He felt the pull to the living, to the lioness standing in front of him. He felt her hurt, her confusion, things she had been dealing with since learning the reason behind her mate's troubled sleep. The eternal words truth caressed his heart. He was strong. He just had to remember what it was like to say those words when others, like Kesha in her current state, needed to hear them.

He took an unneeded breath and let it out slowly. Raising his head, eyes on his daughter's form, he spoke. "Kesha, why did you come with Dhoruba?"

"I wanted to support him."

"And that's all?"

"The Western Plains is in good care. My son, your grandson, is Regent in my and Dhoruba's place. I didn't abandon the lands or the pride. I –"

"You didn't want him to go. You were conflicted as to whether or not Rasuli could be trusted, and you didn't want Dhoruba to face his past alone." He paused and when she was about to speak, he cut in, "But I think there's another reason."

The lioness's eyes narrowed. "You're not angry with me for leaving? You won't lecture me about how a queen should stay with her pride instead of putting an untrained heir in her place?"

Amri shook his head. "No lecture."

"Then why, pray tell, do you think I left? And before you answer, I knew Akanni was coming. This has as much to do with him too."

"Your presence eased the tension throughout the journey. And that's what this is. A journey of redemption and discovery."

She pawed the ground, feeling her stomach clench. "Discovery of what?"

He met her eyes. "Discovery for you." The dead ruler walked up to his daughter, staring her in eyes that mirrored his. "I kept you, your brother, your friends and every member of our pride safe. It was only when Taraji left the Plains to rule his lands in the east, guarded by Bukua's brothers, did I realize you would never have that opportunity. To see what lies beyond home. You, like Bukua and Ajia, would be stuck, ruling and guarding respectively. Such things happened during my father's reign and to every ruler all the way back to the Western Plains founding. The same can be said for every other kingdom." His ears fell back, emotion filling every part of his body, even his paw digits. "Kesha, this isn't just about Dhoruba and Akanni, but you as well. Dhoruba needs redemption, Akanni needs to forgive, and you need to discover."

"You keep saying that. Discover what?"

"Two things. One, that not everyone had your upbringing. You never saw the other side of me that wouldn't hesitate to shed blood if it meant keeping my family and pride safe. You didn't know if I had a hidden, but contained cruelty."

Kesha's irritation grew. "Your father didn't hurt you. Dhoruba's–"

"Was cruel, yes. I've met him. I don't condone what your mate did, but the real question is this: Can you live with it?"

"He has. For all these years, with nightmares to haunt him."

To her surprise, the lion who was her father growled. "I didn't ask if he could. I asked if you could."

She growled back. "I'm here, aren't I."

"Yes, but now I think you realize that you needed to come for you as much as for Dhoruba."

She kept silent as she searched her memory for the all too recent questions Rasuli had asked. The words filled her mind, she could almost hear his voice, his insistence, persistence. And her hesitations to answer, the way the questions made her feel. Even Dhoruba had asked without saying the words the way the orange eyed lion had.

"Can you accept him as he is?"

Her father's voice reached her ears, and yet it sounded like he was far away. Her heart clenched again, pain gripped her stomach while a strangled cry emitted from her throat. When did she start feeling this way? Was her father correct? Was that the question that secretly haunted her every night since Dhoruba explained his past? Is that why whenever he gave her that look her only reply was a smile of reassurance, letting him know that she was there for him? That she would stand by him and put her own feelings aside because he needed her to be the strong offspring of a King, that he could not have been for his own father?

Kesha shuddered. Had the rain stopped? She could no longer hear it. Her eyes closed as she imagined Dhoruba looking at her. His eyes, in her mind, said one thing. "Hate me. I want you to. I killed innocents, many of whom were cubs! Hate me Kesha! Hate me!" Another growl, with added frustration and she gritted, "Hate…"

"What?"

"He wants me to hate him for what he did."

Amri's brow furrowed slightly. Now he had to be even more careful. Cautiously, he asked, "Do you?"

The questions made her want to lash out but, to distract herself she ran her claws along the cold ground. Their different cubhoods played a role in the adults they turned out to be. Kesha had known nothing but peace and prosperity. Dhoruba had known fear, anger and violence. Her father was gentle, his own was cruel. She knew about their differences before Dhoruba remembered the sins he committed against his family and pride. But learning the full extent of what he did took their differences to new heights. She was able to look at him and see him for the lion he currently was, not who he had been before they met. Those very claws of his that took down prey had stained the blood of cubs and lionesses and spirits knows how many other animals long ago. But the lion he was then and the lion she chose as her mate were one and the same. She didn't condone his past actions and yet…

In the days following his revelation, Kesha still stayed with him, slept beside him every night, nuzzled and comforted him, told him she would not leave him. She meant it. Bit by bit the reality of what he had done came to her, but she ignored them. She focused on him. She understood what he did, the murders he committed in a fit of bloodlust, anger and neglect. Rasuli's arrival and his own revelation, his semi-distant connection to Dhoruba and his family, his idea to take the King and the red-maned lion back to the place where they had lost everything… It had all seemed too good to be true, and given Akanni's anger and rage, Kesha did not want her mate going without someone to make sure the younger lion didn't try anything. She left home for the first time for him. All these things she did, not knowing that he was upset with her for supporting him, for not…

"I didn't challenge him," the lioness said softly. Her heart broke at the thought and the reality it carried. The fur along her back bristled.

"Kesha?"

"I supported him, but I didn't…" she stuttered. "I didn't ask the deeper questions." After a moment, she glanced at her father, shock going through her. "H-he told me that he would leave, if that's what I wanted."

Amri nodded solemnly. "But you didn't."

"No! How could I? To abandon him when… when he killed so many seasons ago!" She shook her head. "I can only imagine how hard it was for him, not just the act itself, but telling all of us, and our son and daughter… Facing Akanni's rage, knowing that he was responsible for ruining that young male's life."

The dead King looked in to his daughter's eyes. "Do you hate Dhoruba?" he asked again, a little more forcefully this time.

Without warning Kesha, again, turned away. Her head bowed, hung low as tears threatened to spill. Suddenly she found herself thinking about Hadhari, her son's best friend. She found herself in a situation like his. He was ruled by his paranoia against Akanni, controlled by his anger over the fact that his King, her mate, was not perfect and spilled innocent blood. The passing of seasons didn't matter. He had killed! But everyone had declared their allegiance to him, no one batted an eye or backed down. Jibade spoke about his pride and love for his father, Mpenzi quick to follow. Bukua and his family sans Hadhari said they would serve him and her for the rest of their lives. And she? She chose to keep loving him, accepting his long-ago crime for what it was: long ago. A crime that had been committed after years of abuse. The taste of his abuser's blood sent him into a thirst that desperately needed to be quenched, no matter who he took down.

"If someone hurt your grown cubs, wouldn't you do everything in your power to protect them? I know Dhoruba would. He wouldn't even hesitate. He loves them."

Tears leaked out of the Queen's eyes and she shut them tightly. The tension in her body was starting to take its toll and she sat on the ground, on her haunches, head hung low in defeat.

Amri looked at her, deciding that now was not the time to speak. The love he had for his daughter increased and he silently prayed that this was it.

Again, her father was right. Dhoruba wouldn't hesitate. Neither would I. She understood why her mate shed blood so massively. She even understood when he said that he blocked it, to protect himself against the reality of his actions. Wouldn't I have done the same? Wouldn't anyone? Akanni had a right to be angry, but he had to make peace and forgive. It was the only way for him to move forward. But her?

She had no personal connection, except for the fact that she loved Dhoruba. She loved him enough to not let him go through it alone. He was strong, yes. She had no doubt of it, but she felt she would not be a good mate if she did not help her love in his time of need. He would do the same thing for her, without question, without hesitation, just as she had. Chances are he would be in the same conflicting state as she currently was. She knew him well enough to be aware of that. They were a team, with a strong partnership.

At last, she spoke, her voice strained. "I know he does. I do too." All this talk of Dhoruba – first with Rasuli and now her father – made her want to see him. She missed him and wondered how he was doing, battling his past and attempting to put it to rest. Was the land effecting him, as it was her? She only expected him and Akanni to have their struggles, not discover that she had one of her own. Maybe she had been struggling the entire time and it only took leaving the Plains to make her understand? Everything they had asked had been about Dhoruba and her feelings about his past. Weren't her answers satisfying?! She loved him! She was supporting him, being his partner in all of this! She had explained in no uncertain terms that she was here for him.

Kesha's emotions started to sink, rise, and sink again. With every beat of her heart. She thought back on her father's words about love. "Love is a choice."

The lioness shut her eyes, but the words swirled like the wind, tickling her ears. Her whiskers twitched, and another growl escaped. Love… She had said numerous times that she loved Dhoruba, that no amount of concern would keep her from that. Not Akanni's questions, Rasuli's, or her father's. Choice… Dhoruba made a choice to kill his father, to get out from under the abuse the King had inflicted upon him for his entire life, but the abuse, in his eyes, didn't end with his father. He had said that everyone needed to pay, for allowing the abuse to go on, for not protecting him when he needed it. That and bloodlust were the roles in his massacre. Realization and horror made him forget. He made the choice to tell those closest to him only after Akanni confronted him. Everyone chose to stand beside him, her included. She thought back to their conversation that seemed so long ago now. She felt the conflict that had overwhelmed her, the shock of Dhoruba's statement that he would leave if she wanted him to. That sent her into a downward spiral, but it only made her realize how much she needed him, how much she –

The Queen gasped aloud, her eyes wide. Her heart beat so hard, she was sure her father could hear it.

And he did. He saw something in her form and tried not to smile. "Kesha?" he asked with care, hoping that this was it.

Weakly, she ran her tongue around her maw and lay down on her stomach.

Amri looked concerned at this. "Kesha?" His heart plummeted. Rahimu! Is it too much for her? Have I failed?

She remembered the words spoken to her spirit. Love never fails. It hopes and endures… Tears filled her eyes, but instead of keeping them in, she let them fall, cascade down her face to the ground below. Her heart gave one painful beat. Love when it hurts…

"I love him, Father," she heard herself say. Then slowly, she rose to her paws, turned her head and met eyes with the dead Western Plains King. "I told him I wouldn't leave him or ask him to leave. I meant it. I've been with him every step of the way and to abandon him now would be cruel. It would undo everything he's trying to accomplish here." She paused for a moment, took a breath and continued. "I won't follow in the pawprints of his family and neglect him. That's how this started, at least in part." Her eyes flashed. "When I agreed to be his mate we made promises to each other. To love in good times and bad. That won't change, it never will. What he did was wrong, but he has done no wrong against me, our lands, pride or offspring. I'm with him till death."

Amri smiled as he stared into his daughter's eyes, as her words filled in ears, filling his body with the hope he longed for. At last! She understood, she just needed another reminder! He laughed and let out a soft, short roar of happiness. "I am so proud of you Kesha."

"For what?"

"You have resolved your inner conflict." She prepared to speak when he said, "Your confusion, your anger against my and Rasuli's questions were all because you love Dhoruba. Your feelings for him go beyond learning his past. You didn't like when Rasuli, a stranger, questioned your feelings, the same with me. I made you question your feelings and you were defensive every time."

"I'm sorry and not."

"I know, and that's all right, but you do understand now."

She stared at him and looked behind him to the opening of the cave. Somewhere, far beyond the borders, was her mate wrestling with his past and how he would make peace with it and Akanni. Meeting eyes with her father, she nodded. "I… yes. I think so."

"Love is an amazing thing, Kesha. You're standing firm in it. You see Dhoruba as a flawed creature, but that doesn't diminish the love you have for him."

"And that's why you showed up. To help me figure it out."

Amri shook his head. "I think you knew, deep down, but with everything going on, bringing it up to the surface was difficult. So, now that it's out in the open…" He paused and walked up to her. "Everything you've done is because you love him. He is a part of you, and you cannot imagine your life without him. You want him to realize that too."

A tear snaked down her face. "Yes, I do."

He nuzzled her gently. "I'm sure he will. He loves you too much."

She rubbed her head against his mane, breathing in his warm scent through her nose. "Thank you, Dad."

Amri smiled deeply. "You're welcome, Kesha. I could no longer stand to watch you struggle. I asked Rahimu if I could speak to you, and He let me." He pulled away. "You love Dhoruba, which enabled you to struggle, and –"

"I struggled because I love him."

"No matter what you and Dhoruba face in the future, let love guide you. You already know that your lives will never be easy. Everything that has happened is proof. After this, you will agree, you will fight, you will separate yourselves from each other now and again, but your bond, your love for each other will bring you back together. Continue to help each other and you will get through anything. Including this. Will you still wait for him?"

She met his eyes and saw herself reflected in those dark blue orbs. "I'm not going anywhere. But… you have to."

"Yes." A flicker of sadness moved across the dead ruler's face. "I love you Kesha, and I live on. In you, your brother, his offspring, and yours."

At that, she sniffed. "Mother… does she –"

"She loves you and Taraji very much. We're both proud of the lions and rulers you have become."

Knowing this, peace filled her body, soaking in all the way to her bones. She closed her eyes just for a moment, and when she opened them again her father was gone. She sniffed the air. His scent was still there, she savored it. Walking up to the entrance of the cave she lay down and put her head on her paws. The rain had stopped – she was glad about that. She had no idea if Rasuli would return. If he did, she owed him an apology. For now, she was okay with being alone. If the rain started up again she would move to the back of the cave.

For now, her thoughts centered on Dhoruba. He would make peace. She knew it. He had to, not just for himself, but her too whether he knew it or not.

She was not going to leave without him.