I painted an entire porch today. An entire porch. Alone. Needless to say I had a lot of time to think, lol. This is one of the ideas I came up with! Don't know why, maybe it was because I was festering on my absolute loathing of Hancock XD But she's funny. Sometimes. I can't believe I allowed myself to say that…

Welcome to:

Operation M.U.R.D.E.R. : Make Unworthy Redhead Die in an Excruciating Regard

Where you can play an active part in the story! Read the prologue and at the end I will explain what you can do to make the story interesting.

Ok, let's begin.

"Who. In the blazes. Put a SWORDSMAN IN MY PATH!"

Yup. She was here for a total of 5 seconds and already there were two people who hated her guts. One hated her because she was a rival in love and the other, well, because she had just interrupted his mid-morning nap with her obnoxious yelling.

He cracked open his good eye to observe the fuming beauty towering above him.

"Go around, obnoxious woman." He said before going back to sleep. Nami decided to lower his interest rate by 2%.

"The nerve!" She shrieked and was about to kick him to the Saobody Archipelago when she spotted her obsession.

"LUFFY!~" She cried with hearts in her eyes running towards him. Sanji went to meet her halfway in a flying hug tackle but fell just before he got to her, turned to stone. She grabbed Luffy in a suffocating embrace.

"Hbya Hanbcock," Luffy mumbled through her cleavage. She felt a deadly aura from behind her, but she ignored it. Who could possibly wish any ill of her?

She immediately pulled away and blushed. He said her name, 42 times!~

"Hancock?"

43!

"Can you turn Sanji back to normal? I'm hungry."

"Anything for you Luffy-kun~!"

They watched as she turned around and reversed the affects of her powers. Sanji was soon woo-ing around the ship, shouting:

"MELLORINE! MEEEELLLLLOOOORRRRIIINNNNEEE!" as if he hadn't just been turned to stone.

"So Hancock, what brings you all the way out here? Sanji, meat!" The cook didn't seem to hear him because he had hearts leaking out of his ears.

"Well we were headed back to Amazon Lily after finishing up some important business, when I saw your ship and I couldn't help but stop and say hello! Luffy will you marry me?~"

"No. How long are you planning on staying?" He asked as if she hadn't just asked him to marry her.

She pouted, and Sanji turned to stone of his own accord.

"I was just stopping in. I should probably get going back to the island and speak with my sisters…"

Most of the crew sighed in relief. A little of Hancock went a long way. Imagine if she was here longer than a day? Surely they'd go hungry with Sanji in this state. That's when Luffy came up with one of his brilliant ideas.

"Hey Hancock, why don't you stay on our ship for a little while?"

"Oh Luffy! You really mean it? That would be-"

"Oi! What the hell are you thinking Luffy!" Nami yelled. She marched up to him angrily.

"Ummm… hospitality?" He queried. She bonked him over the head and stomped away angrily, heading towards their bedroom.

"Nami, wait!" He cried after her, launching himself up onto the upper deck.

"And why is he going after the petty little redhead like she's important when I'm standing here?" Hancock demanded of no one in particular. Someone would always answer her when she spoke.

"Senchou and Navigator-san are now a couple. They've been dating for a month now." Robin spoke up, since no one else dared face the rath of the empress. She received a glare for acting so nonchalant in the presence of someone so beautiful. And then what she had just said sank in.

Luffy. Couple. Dating…

Red started to blind her vision.

That little witch was going to DIE! She stormed off to where Luffy had disappeared to, leaving a puzzled crew behind her.

Finally she made it to the room where he had went into. She was about ready to bust down the door and snap the little bitch like a twig when she heard her and Luffy talking.

"But she obviously loves you! I just don't want to deal with any of this right now."

"But you know I love you. Whenever she asked me to marry her your face kept popping up in my head. It's obvious isn't it?"

"Baka." Nami said, but she didn't seem angry. There was silence, and Hancock imagined what they may be doing. Kissing sensually in front of a roaring fire. Eating fruit off of one another's naked bodies. Him putting a crown of daisies in her hair.

That was it! She was in position again to take down the door, but then miraculously what Luffy had said popped into her mind.

"Whenever she asked me to marry her your face kept popping up in my head. It's obvious isn't it?"

Oh, yes. It was very obvious now. If it weren't for that little slut she and Luffy would be married by now! The only thing standing in her way now was her.

And then an evil plan began to emerge.

She turned around and strolled back onto the deck. The rest of the crew was still milling about, waiting to see what would happen. Some gave her questioning looks, but said nothing. Only Chopper didn't look up as she appeared, seeing how he was trying to find a cure to make Sanji normal again. She beckoned and her snake folded itself into a chair, and she sat herself down to wait.

Eventually a door opened and Nami came out. She pointed at Hancock and said:

"You! Miss Empress. You can stay here for a week, but then you have to leave!" And at that she stormed off to the kitchen, the door swinging shut behind her.

How dare she speak to her thus! How dare she act as if she was captain when her dear Luffy-kun was clearly the one and only? She really had to fight not to go after her and wring her pale little neck.

Luffy soon followed, grinning like an idiot. Because he was an idiot.

"Shishishi sorry about that. Nami just needs some time to get used to you!" He said to Hancock.

"That's quite alright Luffy-kun! I'll enjoy spending an entire week with you!" She smiled sweetly at him.

Zoro put a katana to his chest as if to stab himself, but a hand that sprouted from nowhere stopped him.

"Yosh! We need to celebrate! Sanji!" After having some strong chemicals waved under his nose Sanji was now up and about again. "We need a feast for our temporary nakama!"

"Aye aye captain! I shall make a most bountiful and delectable feast for lovely angel Hancock~swan!"

They all headed towards the kitchen, but she hung back. When Luffy looked back at her questioningly she said:

"I'm going to tell my crew about the new arrangements first. They can go run some errands while I'm staying here." He seemed to accept this and ran towards the delicious smells coming from the kitchen, hoping there'd be appetizers.

Finding herself alone she grinned evilly. It was time to start Operation M.U.R.D.E.R.

Hope it was okay, humor's not usually my thing…

And that's why I need your help! I'm taking all ideas, big or small, outrageous or cliché, you name it! I'm taking suggestions on ways Hancock will try to murder Nami XD

There's a catch: it has to be subtle. She can't outright try and attempt to or the crew would kick her off the boat. Or in this case Luffy would probably murder her.

So PM me or leave a review of your suggestions and they may become part of the story! Your name will be mentioned in BIG BOLD ITALIC letters in the header if your idea is chosen :D

Hope to hear from you!