Hi! I haven't taken a course with anything to do with writing in years and this is the first story I've ever written, so there may very well be many errors of all kinds for which I apologize. So just wanted to put that out there. Also, feel free to review. Bad, good, whatever. Oh and I always see people saying this so I figure I must as well - I don't own anything Rookie Blue.

"Trace, how did I not see this coming?" Andy lifted her head from her knees just enough to make eye contact with her friend and now temporary roommate.

"How could you have? He asked you to marry him, Andy. That kind of says that he's committed to you," Traci spoke softly, but Andy could see the anger in her eyes. She was grateful that her friend was able to take her in for the next few days while she got her shit together, and was especially thankful that Leo was with his dad for the weekend, "Besides, Luke really does not give off the cheater vibe. If it makes you feel better, he had me fooled too. I really thought he was a good one"

"That's the thing Trace, I think he is a good one. That's why this is so hard. I wish I just felt anger right now. I mean, obviously I'm furious but there's so much more to it. I'm sad, I'm confused, I'm frustrated, I'm embarrassed, and it honestly feels like there is a knife through my heart." Her eyes were bloodshot and her voice was muffled was the tears falling down her face. She barely managed to get the sentence out before tucking her face back into her knees and leaning against the arm of the couch she currently inhabited.

Traci sat on the chair across from where Andy had curled into a ball, watching helplessly as her friend cried. Her mind turned to Jerry, and she shuttered at the thought of him in another woman's arms.

"Andy, you have nothing to be embarrassed about," Traci started, "He is the one who should be embarrassed."

Without lifting her head, Andy responded, "I know everyone is going to say that but I'm the one whose going to get all the 'Are you okay?' questions, with the sympathetic head tilts and the pity smiles."

Traci knew she was right but tried anyways, "Well, that beats all of the 'you're a douche bag' looks he's going to get."

Andy sighed, lifting her head only to retort, "Is it really, though?" Once her face was once again buried in the sweatpants covering her knees, she mumbled, "You know, Jo practically told me she was going after Luke."

Traci lifted an eyebrow, "When?"

Andy looked up, the anger clear on the face, "The day of the fire at the Laundromat. I went into the D's office and she told me how the husband killed himself and burned the place down so his wife could get the insurance money. Then I said something about how when you love someone you let them go and then she said, get this," Andy paused for dramatic effect and finished in an obnoxious accent, "Not me, when I love something I hold it in a death grip and never let it go"

Traci's mouth dropped, "Wow."

Frowning, Andy nodded. She sighed loudly before pulling her knees back up to her chest, "How could I not have known?"

"Andy, seriously you can't think like that. Why would you think this would happen? He proposed to you!" Traci made no attempt to hide her contempt for him.

"But even then, he didn't really. I found the ring, Trace." Tears kept falling as she wiped them away with the back of her hand.

"You found the ring he bought for you. He was planning on proposing anyways, why does it matter when or how it happened?"

Andy just sighed in response, tucking her face back into her knees.

Traci heard the kettle whistle and disappeared into the kitchen only to reemerge minutes later with two mugs of tea. Handing one to Andy, she smiled sympathetically, "Andy, I just want you to know that it is taking all the self control I have not to drive over there and beat the shit out of him right now."

Andy laughed lightly and thanked her for the tea before sipping it hesitantly. Content with the temperature, she took a longer swig.

"Seriously Andy, he's an idiot. And I wouldn't want to be him when Chris and Dov find out," Her tone was serious but her eyes were light with humor as she to began sipping on her tea. After a few minutes of silence, Traci eyes widened, "Oh my g-d."

Andy looked at her quizzically, "What?"

"Swarek. He is literally going to kill him." Traci's face was completely serious and Andy couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"Oh common Traci, Sam is not going to kill Luke" She kept laughing, though she wasn't sure if it was at her friends gross exaggeration or at the image of Sam beating Luke up, again.

"Andy, you did not see the way he yelled at Shaw when you got yourself stuck in the Laundromat, and it wasn't even his fault!" With her eyes still wide, Traci took another sip of her tea.

"First of all, I did not get myself stuck in there. I followed a civilian in, which anyone would have done. And secondly, this is different. That was work and this is my personal life, in which Sam does not have much interest in." Andy's smile faded, recalling the many times Sam vocalized his disapproval in her life decisions.

This time it was Traci's turn to laugh, "Really? Andy McNally, you really are in your own world." She continued to laugh as she put her mug down on the coffee table and once again disappeared into the kitchen.

Andy smiled at her friend, shrugging off the light-hearted insult; Traci never understood her friendship with Sam, and she knew she wasn't about to start now. For a few moments Andy felt fine, until she remembered why she was on Traci's couch instead of asleep in her own bed at her own house. Their house… The thought caused tears to start falling again. Frustrated at her mess of an emotional state, Andy sighed loudly and thumped further into the couch.

Traci could hear the tears and the following thump from the kitchen and rushed to finish cutting the left over cake from Leo's birthday the other day into generous slices. After throwing the cake back into the fridge she hurried into the living room, simultaneously placing the pieces of cake on the table and pulling Andy out of the fetal position.

"Andy! No fetal position! Take the cake." Her tone was authoritative enough to make Andy listen, yet soft enough to still be comforting.

Relieved that Andy had followed her orders, Traci took her the plate holding the piece of cake she had cut for herself and sat back in her chair. They ate silently for a few minutes, both consumed with the dessert in front of them.

Traci was thinking back to her son's birthday as she took a forkful of the vanilla cake into her mouth, treasuring the memory of Jerry showing Leo how to use his new baseball set when Andy interrupted her thoughts.

"You know, when I first met Luke I didn't find him that attractive." Traci looked up at her friend and saw silent tears falling down her face.

"I mean, obviously I could see that he was good looking, but he really wasn't my type at all," She continued, "But he was so nice. Like, really genuinely nice. And I had never really dated a nice guy before. All through high school I dated jerks and my dad was always telling me to quit dating losers and pick a nice boy. So when Luke started showing interest I thought it was about time I listened to my dad." Andy laughed without humor and Traci smiled sadly at her.

When she didn't continue, Traci made a small attempt at humor, "He really isn't even that good looking."

Pausing with her fork full of cake mid-air, Andy raised an eyebrow. "Oh common, he is pretty much Detective Ken." She shoved her fork into her mouth as Traci smiled at her reference to the doll she had been obsessed with as a child.

They both continued to eat, Andy attempting to turn her jumble of thoughts into coherent sentences while Traci patiently waited, knowing her friend well enough not to push.

A handful of minutes passed before Andy put her plate down and spoke up again, "When did life get so complicated?"

Traci responded quickly without looking up from her plate, "October 13th, 2005."

Andy stared at her friend, puzzled.

"That was the day I found out I was pregnant with Leo. Also, it was the day of my chemistry exam. Which I failed, by the way." Tracy smiled up at Andy, "That day changed my life. I always thought I would be a chemist, but after that I had to totally change my plans."

Andy couldn't help but giggle at the idea of her friend in a lab coat, "That must have been tough."

"You know? It really was." Tracy laughed at Andy's giggle, pleasantly surprised to get a laugh out of her.

It was silent for a minute or two, both deep in thought about their lives. Andy reflected over her adult life, trying to pinpoint when she lost control. Sure, she had never been much for planning but she always had at least a small amount of control over her life. But now, sitting on her friends couch eating leftover birthday cake, she realized she had absolutely none anymore.

"It was the first day on the job."

Tracy looked up at her and raised an eyebrow, "What was?"

"The day my life got complicated. The second I tackled Sam to the ground, actually. That started the tension between us. Which led to him sending me into that damn warehouse, and indirectly into meeting Luke. And the tension between Sam and me eventually led to the blackout, which led to a shit ton of confusion and, weirdly enough, that whole situation strengthened my relationship with Luke. And now I'm here." Andy flailed her arms around, as if it helped prove her point.

With her eyebrow still raised Traci pointed out a hole in her theory, "Andy, you would have met Luke regardless."

"Yes, but under a different pretense. And then none of this would have happened."

"So, basically, this is all Swarek's fault?" Traci asked the question with her eyebrow raised even higher.

Andy considered the question before smirking and responding "Sounds good to me."

Traci laughed and shook her head, "Andy, I love you but that is ridiculous."

Andy laughed for a moment before all the humor left her face. "I can't believe this is my life."

Traci was caught off guard by the abrupt end of laughter and her heart broke a little at the deep sadness in her friend's voice. "Andy, you will get through this."

"How do you know?" Andy's voice came out broken, almost child-like.

"Because," Traci paused, waiting for Andy to look up at her.

Andy hesitated before looking up and locking eyes with Traci, "You don't really have any other option."

They held the eye contact for a minute or two before Andy nodded, "I guess that's true."

Traci smiled, "Besides, I would never let you fall." Andy smiled back and began laughing.

Once again caught off guard by the yo-yo of her friend's emotions Traci raised her eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, that was just really corny." Andy's laughter intensified and she snorted, at which Traci had to laugh out loud. Before long, the two friends were lying next to each other on the floor in a fit of laughter. Neither were really sure why but it didn't matter as they were both too relieved that tears of laugher had replaced those of sadness.

The hours passed as the girls reminisced about their rookie days and Andy felt the emptiness in her slowly fade. By the time they went to sleep, she was pretty sure that everything was going to be okay.