A/N: I know it has been a really long time since I've updated this story, but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. This chapter isn't super long and I'm sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes but I really want to get this up. I have reviewed it twice, but I will be going back to edit it again. Also, as a side note- I will also be updating and editing some of the past chapters. If I've finished doing this when I post the next chapter, I will be sure to let you know.

And thank to everyone who has reviewed this story. Without you guys, I probably wouldn't be doing this.

Chapter Ten – New Discoveries

It was now past dark and creeping into the wee early hours of dawn. I sat outside in the woods, sitting in the middle of a worn out path. After the last dress Alice had put on me, I had asked to be alone. It was almost hard to bear just going down in the first navy dress with my new diamond earrings. I had glanced over at Alec to see what his expression would be when he saw that I had put on the earrings. At first there had been nothing – no sign of emotion at all. He was passive. But then, then there was a subtle change in his eyes as they caught sight of the light that was reflecting off the diamonds. His eyes met mine for a brief second and I saw hope. Caught off guard, I quickly looked away and heard a soft 'tsk' come from one of the other vampires in the room.

I banged my fist on the soft, dewy ground. I was trying to start over. I wanted to see things about their world in a different light, but I couldn't get past my initial fear. I quietly cursed, folding my legs beneath me as my head came towards the ground. Alec had left when I came down the steps again in a different outfit. I had refused to change the earrings.

I had wanted to stop then, but continued on to please everyone. I could tell Emmet was getting restless as he made snarky comments to egg me on. He was happy with the result as I started to join in on his game; mostly telling him to 'shut his trap.' After a dozen or so more outfits, I asked to be alone in my room. Respecting my request, Alice had backed off and the rest of the family went about doing what they pleased while I sat in my room.

I had stared out the window, still dressed in my emerald gown, trying to will away my existence. It was only when I heard a slight commotion downstairs that I realized how late into the night it really was. Swiftly standing up, I tiptoed my way to the door and slowly opened it to look outside into the hallway. Not able to see much from the darkness, I opened the door even more until I was standing in the hallway. No one was around and everything was silent now.

I felt a sudden urge to be outside and so with great caution, I made my way back into what was now considered my room, making sure to close the door and opened the glass door to the wilderness.

And now here I was.

Silent tears streamed down my face as I banged on the cold ground another time. I couldn't remember the last time I had cried. I was getting frustrated with myself. Of course it wouldn't be easy to get over my fear of Alec. He had hunted me for days and had recently just changed his behavior towards me.

Knowing I wanted to give the Cullens and Alec a fair chance, I was trying to change my attitude towards their lifestyle. I knew that most of them hadn't chosen this life. Bella had though. What was it for her that made her human instincts more accepting? I knew part of it were her feelings for Eddy, but what about the feeling of being prey? Maybe Eddy hadn't been like Alec.

But it didn't matter; I didn't like the idea of having only five weeks to figure out if I liked Alec enough to be turned. I was sixteen for heaven's sake! Not only that, but vampires lived forever unless they were killed. I would be stuck with Alec until I was killed- if I was ever killed. Could vampires kill themselves?

My brain was reeling with a million thoughts and I couldn't stop it. I wanted nothing more than to fall into a deep sleep and not have to worry about my new reality. In fact, I would almost be relieved if Alec simply killed me. I wouldn't have to make any decision and I wouldn't have to worry about the outcome of my future.

"What are you thinking?"

The voice came from behind me and I recognize it as no other than the vampire who plagues my thoughts and dreams. I decide not to look at him and continue looking at the dark, almost black green scenery before me. It is still dark, but my sight had grown to recognize the shapes of the forest. I don't put up my guard, deciding I don't care what happens to my fate anymore.

"It's too jumbled for any clarity." I tell him.

I see him sit down out of the corner of my eye. His movements don't make a sound, the leaves and twigs are silent beneath his weight. I feel my senses dull slightly as he reaches his hand to touch the side of my face. The coldness of his touch is almost nonexistent. Surprised, I turn my head to study him.

"You're ruining your dress." Is all he tells me. His eyes stare intensely into mine and I can't move. It's not fear that petrifies me or holds me to my position.

Not knowing how to respond to his comment, I shrug. I didn't think about ruining the dress. I stare down at its colour. The green is rich and dark and the smooth material flows into a soft pile around me. I look back up at Alec who is studying me. A shiver runs through my body, the air outside is chilly and I don't know how I didn't notice it earlier. Alec's hand becomes freezing and I pull away from it the second I feel it.

He retreats his hand and takes of his jacket, moving slightly closer to me it put it around my shoulders. His hand lingers on my shoulders before he brings them back to his sides. I watch him with curiosity.

"Dull my senses, please? " I ask him.

He looks at me with confusion on his face.

"Just my sense of feeling? Alice told me about your powers." I explain to him briefly.

"Why?" he asks me, his voice soft and smooth.

"I want to try something." I tell him. I wrap the tailored jacket closer to my body, trying to block out the brisk air.

"If that is what you wish." He nods his head and I can feel my sense slightly fade. I make sure to make eye contact with him when I can no longer feel the cold air. I suck in a deep breath of air and slowly move closer to Alec. His now golden eyes watch me with interest, trying to figure out what it is I'm trying to accomplish. It feels like hours before I'm finally in front of him. My back is facing his front and I'm scared to turn around or make any sudden movement. I cannot feel the ground beneath me, even though I know it is there.

I let out the breath I was holding and close my eyes. "Can I touch you?"

"You cannot feel." He reminds me.

"I know, I want a sense of feel, but I didn't want to feel how cold you are." I open my eyes and slowly turn my head so that I can see him just enough. His sudden movement startles me, but he's granted my request. His front is pressed against my back as his arms wrap around me and hold on to my waist. I cannot feel his body temperature, but his touch is plain as day. I relax into his embrace while he remains rigid. My heartbeat has become frantic as I let myself study my body's sensations.

Making sure to move slowly, I bring my hands to the front of my waist and start to draw random shapes on Alec's hands. His palms press harder against my skin but not with enough strength to make me feel uncomfortable. Continuing to move slowly, I close my eyes and relax further into Alec's embrace. I continue to trace patterns before moving up along his arms. Alec is still stiff behind me, not knowing how to react and scared of how he may react.

"Will you sing for me again?" I ask him politely. "It was relaxing."

He sounded as if he was being strangled when he finally answered me, "Why are you doing this?"

"We have five weeks to get to know each other, I should at least try." I stopped tracing his arms and put my hands on top of his. "You seem to be trying."

"You're more vulnerable than I am." As if to drive his point home, he pushes my hair all to the left side and tilts my head slightly. I shiver as his hand lightly traces the vein in my neck.

"Either you do it or Aro does." I say. I grab his right hand with my left and bring his arm back around my waist. I entwine our fingers so that we are holding hands.

"You don't care?" he asks.

"Of course I care. I don't want to be changed. I don't want to die. But I also know I can't go back to my former life knowing that vampires exist in this world. Honestly, the decision is left up to you in the end." I speak slowly, letting the words sink into my brain. No matter the outcome, if I decide I want to be changed or if I want to die, the outcome of either could change considerable. Maybe Alec won't be able to stop once he gets a taste of my blood or maybe Aro will decide to change me anyways.

"I want to respect your decision." Alec surprises me.

"What if you can't control yourself?"

"I don't want you hating me for the rest of eternity."

"If you respect my decision, I won't hate you." I tell him and I mean it. Silence followed afterwards and I went back to drawing patterns on Alec's hands and arms. I was surprised that we were still sitting here like this. It was actually really nice and I was surprised at how comfortable I was. I had relaxed completely into Alec's embrace, but he still remained rigid and hardly moved. So many new questions were now going through my mind- why hadn't he dulled my senses when he had been hunting me? Could I maybe hide my smell from him enough to make it easier on him? Was I foolish for trying to understand him in a new way?

My answer to that was yes. I was his prey and he was the predator I was supposed to be running from. Instead, I sat cuddled against him in the thick wilderness.

"Why didn't you dull my senses when you were chasing me? It would have been easier for you." I needed to know the answer. It would have been much easier for him if he had.

"A part of me didn't want to." He answered, his voice low. "Normally I would have, but I knew there was something different about you."

I remained quiet before asking him another question. "Is this the first time you've dulled my senses?"

"Yes." Was his short answer.

"How does it make you feel?" I felt like a therapist when the question slipped off my tongue. I was trying to get inside his head, figure out how his thought process worked.

"Like I can do whatever I want to you." His tone was dangerous, but he didn't move.

"Oh." I felt my heartbeat pick up once more, it was more sporadic than frantic and I tried to control my breathing better to help calm it. Giving up after a few seconds, I asked Alec another question. "Do you think if I focused on you not smelling me that it would help you to be around me?" I lifted my head from off his muscular chest to look at him. It was getting easier for me to control my movements more, especially when I was carefully thinking about what I needed to do.

His usual blank face turned into a puzzled expression. "I don't know. I can't get your smell out of my head. I smell you even when hunting. I've never had to feed as much as I am now. All I want is your blood." He bent his head towards me and pressed his nose into my neck. I felt him inhale deeply, as his hands turned my body so that I was now facing him. It was now my turn to become a statue. I didn't dare move scared of what he might do. My heartbeat became wild as I stared wide-eyed at the forest surrounding me. My hands gripped each other, trying hard to remain calm.

I felt the coldness of Alec's touch return. It was a slow return to my senses, as if Alec wanted me to get used to his coldness. He then released his breath, exhaling and I felt it brush against my neck. Something soft was soon lightly pressed against a spot on my throat. I took a sharp breath inwards knowing that he was kissing me. I had never been kissed before by a boy. A shiver went up through my body and scared that Alec would lose his control, I was praying that scent would weaken.

When his eyes met mine, I knew my smell had weakened.

"Do you not trust me?" he asked, his hand cupping my cheek as his thumb gently rubbed my cheek. I didn't lean into it, in fact I didn't move.

"Yes, it's hard to trust you." I spoke, my voice barely a whisper.

"Have you ever been kissed?" he asked, his voice soothing but curious.

I looked away not knowing how to respond to him. Did I say yes or did I tell him the truth? My body language must have answered his question for he then placed his hands on either side of my face.

"May I be your first?"

I wondered how many girls, or vampires, he had kissed. For a split second I almost told him no before I realized I could die without ever having been kissed. I wanted to know what it felt like. I wondered if being kissed by a vampire was any different than being kissed by a normal, human guy.

After what felt like hours of debating, I nodded my head to Alec giving him permission. I didn't trust my voice afraid it would give away how nervous I was. Of course, I knew my heart beat was betraying me, I could feel it beat hard against my chest as if it was trying to break loose.

I watched Alec's amber eyes as he leaned slowly towards me and when his lips were just about to press against mine, he closed his eyes. I followed suit and when I felt a light pressure on my lips, I was surprised at the sensation. His almost frigid touch was almost numbing as it came in contact with my already cold skin. It was a feathery light touch, barely there, but at the same time it was the most feeling I had ever experienced. By no means was the kiss anything complicated, but the sensations running throughout my body told me it was everything I ever needed to experience. I fell back into his embrace, leaning against him for support. When he pulled away, his eyes met mine once more. His eyes were a darker shade of amber and held hunger and desire in their gaze. I couldn't do anything more than gawk back at him.

I went from being deathly scared of him to letting the boy kiss me. Maybe I was accepting my fate. Or maybe I had a death wish.

A/N: Please let me know what your thoughts are on this chapter. I know there's been a huge change in Aveline's character (my characters tend to write themselves and this has been no different). I'm accounting it to her realization that in the end, the choice isn't really hers to make. Either she dies or Aro changes her...unless she decides she wants to be turned.