The author says: Hello and thanks for reading my story! I have to say a few words regarding this story. I had the idea to write the same story only with different pairings. So there is a boyxboy version of the story 'He had no idea' with the pairing SasuNaruSasu and a boyxgirl version with the pairing SasuFemNaru. You are now reading the non-yaoi version (as the title says 'SasuFemNaru'). If you want to check out the other version, too, please visit my profile. There's also a disclaimer, concerning this story.

Have fun reading ;)

I don't own Naruto.

'He had no idea'

Chapter 1

He wondered how she'd take it when he said goodbye

Thought she might do some cryin', lose some sleep at night

But he had no idea, when he hit the road

That without him in her life, she'd let herself go

- 'She'd let herself go' by George Strait

The first thing she noticed when she came to, was the tell-tale smell of disinfectant mixed with the typical metallic smell of blood. Too often had she smelled the typical fragrance of her own blood, to not recognize it now. Her eyes were still closed. Carefully she felt inside, assessing her own body, searching for broken bones, torn flesh or any other signs of severe injuries.

There was a hollow pain in her chest; a dull, pulsating ache, making her breath coming laboured. Her right hand shot up and clenched the thin fabric covering her chest; probably a hospital gown. Her fist pressed firmly against her breast bone, just above her heart, willing the feeling to go away. Her beautiful face contorted in evident pain. Full lips were pressed into a thin, hard line, teeth gritting together; eyes shut fiercely, to the point that wrinkles formed at the corner of them; the fingers of her left hand gripped the sheets forcefully, knuckles turning white.

An unintentional sob worked itself up her throat, choking her. A pitiful moan escaped her lips, making her wince, as she realized it was her own voice. The girl allowed herself a moment of pain, when the feeling in her chest spread throughout her body; numbing her arms, her fingers, reaching her legs, numbing every toe. The feeling took over, until she felt wetness on her scarred cheeks.

Writhing in pain on the uncomfortable hospital mattress, she tried to relax, forcing herself to push the pain back into her chest, confining it, making sure it wouldn't consume her. After all, she was used to this feeling.

Slowly, her breathing became less strained. The wrinkles on her face softened.

The girl opened her eyes hesitantly, blinking against the bright light. Rays of sunlight were illuminating the white hospital room. She turned her head towards the windows, facing the sun. It had been raining the last time she had been outside.

Her memories came back to her now, overwhelming her for a moment. She gasped as she realized it all had been real, too real. The feeling in her chest intensified. The clenched fist over her heart tightened. No, she pleaded silently, Sasuke!

She must have whispered the name of her formerly best friend aloud, because she heard feet shuffling nervously at the end of her bed. Her head turned sharply away from the window, now facing the people standing in her room. That she had not sensed them earlier was proof enough of her inner distress. Warily, she pushed herself to a sitting position, regarding the people in front of her with her ocean blue eyes.

"Naruto?" Tsunade addressed her softly. The Godaime Hokage had worry written all over her usually slightly grumpy face. "Do you remember what happened?"

Next to the Hokage stood Naruto's sensei, Hatake Kakashi. His one visible eye was focused on his charge for once, instead of his ever present orange porn book. The mask on his face made it hard for people to read the lazy jounin, but Naruto could tell that he was worried as well.

The sound of her hoarse voice shocked her, when she answered, "I do remember, baa-chan." She swallowed, her throat was dry. "Everything," she added bitterly.

Naruto and Sasuke were facing each other in the Valley of the End. They had been fighting for some time already and the landscape had taken severe damage; as had both of their chakra supplies. Both were bleeding from several wounds and their energy was depleting steadily. Sasuke was in his cursed-seal form. Naruto had been disappointed when she saw him using the evil power Orochimaru had given him. The words that left his mouth made her cringe.

"Why are you doing this, Sasuke? Please, just come back to Konoha with me – come home with me!" Naruto's voice cried out to him; she sounded a little shaky. The use of the Kyuubi's chakra was affecting her greatly. Never before had she used the demon's chakra to this extent – and now she was willingly doing so. But she would do everything in her power to save the Uchiha.

His eyes were a blazing red from his activated sharingan. The markings of the cursed seal were moving over his body. Naruto hoped that he would soon reach his limit. This fight was taking its toll on her, she didn't know how much longer she would last. I can't fail here, she thought determinedly. I have to bring him home... or else...

Sasuke gave a mocking nod. His arms spread in a gesture of incredulity. "Why I am doing this? You're seriously asking me this, Naruto? This once again proves what a dobe you really are, dobe!"

Naruto gave no reaction to his usual insult. His red eyes focused on her.

"You are like poison," the raven forced out. "Your smiles are like stabs in my chest, Naruto! You slowly poisoned me with your cheery attitude and those blue eyes of yours! I know what I have to do! The only bond I can ever have is the bond of hatred with my brother, it's the only way to avenge my clan! But you..." the boy spat snidely, "you wormed your way into my heart! I felt my resolve weakening and all because of you! You made me believe that the bond we have is all I need to be strong! But you're wrong, Naruto! There's only space for one bond and you always knew of my ambition! You purposefully led me astray from my path –"

"Hatred doesn't make you strong, Sasu –" Naruto interrupted him.

"I need to kill my brother, Naruto, and you will not stop me now! It's the only way and therefore I have to kill you! I must sever our bond. You have become my closest friend, Naruto. You are my weakness, my only weakness. You hinder me from gaining true power!"

"Your only weakness is your hatred, Sasuke! Please, don't leave me! What is it that I have to do to make you to stay?" her voice pleaded. Her mind was unable to accept his harsh words. Kill her? She needed to find a way to make him stay. She never wanted to fight him in the first place.

Her too-blue eyes were mocking him, glistening with unshed tears.

Naruto felt the situation slipping out of her hands with every word he spoke.

The Uchiha snorted. "Dobe, that's easy. All you have to do, is die." He was regarding her coolly. "You and your stupid belief in the power of bonds. What is it you are fighting for?"

"How can you want to kill me, you said it yourself. I'm your closest friend! I –"

"Answer my question, dobe! What is it, you are fighting for?" he harshly cut her off.

"You know what I'm fighting for, Sasuke. Keeping my precious people save, it's what makes one truly strong!"

"– then why aren't you able to defeat me, dobe? This is ridiculous! How is this supposed to help me kill my brother? You are my only precious person, Naruto. Why am I not strong, then? This bond is useless! All it does is holding me back! You are holding me back! You are a liability, dobe!"

The blonde's tears were running freely now. "Sasuke, please don't do this! Don't leave me!"

"Look at yourself now, dobe! You sound like that weakling Sakura! You're pathetic, you disgust me!" Sasuke's snarl was deeply hurting her feelings. He had been the only one to ever acknowledge her. Without him, she would still be lonely. If he left her, she would be lonely again. There would be no one to ease the pain created by the hatred of the villagers. No one she could turn to for help, if she was not getting a new jutsu down.

His silent presence over the years had comforted her whenever the hollow pain in her chest tried to overwhelm her. She remembered the first six years of her life only too well; the time before she had known Sasuke. These six years had been filled with solitude and despair. A six-year-old child could only take so much. She had been close to the point of mentally breaking, when she had been enrolled in the academy. Sure, she had made some friends; Kiba, Shikamaru and Chouji. But to none of them had she developed the kind of deep heartfelt bond she and Sasuke shared. She wouldn't accept this! She just needed to explain herself!

"I'll be alone again, if you leave me! I don't want to be alone again, please –" she tried.

"Alone? I've been alone as well, dobe."

"Sasuke, I knew you were always alone. I… I used to be glad I found you, someone like me. I was... happy. From first glance, I wanted to know you… But… it wasn't that simple. You could do anything. You were always so popular with all your fangirls and the people praising you as the last Uchiha." She stopped to sigh.

"We're different, you and I. I was frustrated when you hardly reacted to my attempts of becoming your friend and I decided you were my rival! I had to beat you… especially what with everyone calling me a loser, a dobe." She winced slightly at her own words.

"Then they threw us together in cell number seven, and I couldn't be more happy. Stubborn as I was… I never let on what I really felt. Truth was, I wanted to be just like you. You were my idol. And so… hearing that you wanted to fight me too, during the Chunin Exams… I was never happier." A smile proved her words to be nothing but the truth.

"With those words, for the first time… you acknowledged I was good. And… yes, without even trading blows… without saying a word, I knew right then and there… we were friends. You don't show it openly, but I know... the small gestures, they mean so much to me. You have no idea, what they mean to me! It's not insignificant to me, you're… my closest friend. And yet… here you are, intent on killing me. So I don't know what to believe any more. Did you ever mean what you said, the way you acted towards me when no one was looking?"

Her blue eyes dared him to deny it. "Do you mean it when you say I'm your closest friend? Or am I deluding myself? That would make me so stupid, Sasuke... You're probably right. After all I'm just the stupid dobe everyone thinks I am... you think I am." (1)

The addressed boy could only stare at the crying girl in front of him. His sharingan had unknowingly deactivated somewhere during her speech. He was used to Naruto talking a lot, but never had her words touched him like that. He felt his chest tighten. Warmth was slowly spreading throughout his body. What is this feeling? he wondered. Why are her words affecting me like this?

Hesitantly he took a step closer to the girl he called his closest friend. Deep down he felt the urge to... to hug her and comfort her? His head snapped to focus on her face. He could see hope sparkling in them. Is she hoping her little talk convinced me? He stopped dead in his steps.

Realization hit him. "You're doing it again!" He pointed at her accusingly.

Confusion crossed over Naruto's face. She had hoped he would come to her now and tell her that he was sorry and he'd come back with her. How naïve. "I didn't do anythi –"

"The hell you didn't!" His sharingan activated anew in his anger. "Those feelings you create –" he hit his own chest with a clenched fist, " –they make me forget! They make me think I need you!" He shook his head in disbelief and anger. "I even thought about comforting you!"

"I won't give you the chance to influence me again! I don't know how you do it, but you won't replace my hatred with this warm feeling!" He was yelling once again. His face contorted in rage.

He drew on the power of the cursed seal. Naruto watched in horror as his skin turned grey. Hand-like wings sprouted from between his shoulders, ripping his shirt. His hair grew and took on a bluish-grey colour.

Naruto's eyes widened when she felt the immense increase in his chakra. So this is Orochimaru's power, huh, she marvelled. She had only one way to counter this power. She needed to draw on the Nine-tails's chakra – again. But she'd do anything to stop Sasuke. He was intending to kill her, she couldn't hesitate now.

She felt deep inside herself, silently ordering the Kyuubi to giver her his chakra. Immediately she felt the evil power surge through her. Apparently, the fox had also realized the seriousness of the moment and was practically throwing his chakra at her. Overwhelmed by power and the evil intent of the fox, she staggered for a second.

The red chakra manifested. Now it was Sasuke's turn to stare. Although Naruto had used the evil chakra in their fight before, the power leaking from her was twice – maybe even thrice – as powerful as before. What is this chakra? He took in her changing appearance. The whisker marks on her cheeks deepened and widened, her already pretty sharp canines became more pointed. Her fingernails lengthened to claws. But what shocked him most was the change of the eyes he secretly loved so much. Blue bled to a deep red and her pupils became slitted. The sunny blonde suddenly looked feral.

He shrugged off his silent amazement and gathered his chakra. Blue lightning formed in his hand, creating the sound of thousand birds – Chidori.

Naruto quickly formed a shadow clone. Together they formed a blue spiralling sphere – Rasengan.

The shadow clone dispelled.

Naruto focused on Sasuke. Her slitted eyes were hard now. The time for talking was over. She had failed to persuade him with words. She obviously had to defeat him and drag him back to Konoha.

Sasuke charged and jumped. Naruto followed. Their attacks clashed. All Naruto remembered was the building energy. And then – blackness.

She didn't know how long it took for her to gain consciousness, but the heavy rain woke her. Immediately she gasped. Breathing was unnaturally hard. It felt like not enough air was reaching her lungs. Greedily drawing on air, she choked as blood filled her mouth. Coughs shook her body.

Only then did she feel the pain. Pain of a kind she had never felt before. A hand reached up to her chest, intending to claw at the fabric, trying to pull away anything that might constrict her chest – but grabbed nothing. There was a hole in her chest. A hole. Sasuke's chidori had pierced her thorax only a hair's breadth over her heart.

He really tried to kill me, she thought. The unmeasurable pain in her chest became too much to bear. Deep inside herself, something shattered as the realization of Sasuke's betrayal fully reached her mind. She willingly gave in to the blackness that swallowed her again.

Next thing Naruto remembered was coming out of the ER. By the time Kakashi had reached her and brought her back to Konoha, the Kyuubi had almost completely healed her wounds. Tsunade still insisted on performing surgery on her, though. After waking up, she had delivered her report in a monotone. No emotion crossed her face. Tsunade had finally decided to give her a tranquillizer. She had just come to mere moments ago.

"Naru?" Kakashi's gentle question brought her back to reality. The two adults had seen the anguish on Naruto's face, while she was obviously recalling the events responsible for her current condition.

She shrugged the memory off with an effort. A lump built in her throat. She swallowed. It wouldn't go away. She tried to concentrate on something else. "How long have I been out?"

"Three days," Tsunade answered her. Her eyes were still fixed on her small form in the hospital bed. "Your wounds have healed, but for some unknown reason I couldn't heal the scar over your heart," Tsunade went on. "It feels, as if Kyuubi was messing with it. I wonder why he didn't heal it himself, though." She put two fingers under her chin in her usual thinking pose.

Naruto paused at this information. Why was Kyuubi messing with her healing? Normally, the demon would heal her completely. Maybe it was meant as a punishment, because she had used such a huge amount of his chakra? She shook her head again, there were more important things she had to deal with. Sasuke, the name crossed her mind unbiddenly. The pain in her chest suddenly doubled. She gasped. Her hand clawed at the poor hospital gown.

He really tried to kill me, her thoughts were racing. But he said I was his closest friend. How could he do this to me? She thought about his words.

/This bond is useless! All it does is holding me back! You are holding me back! You are a liability, dobe!/

Was it really her fault? Maybe if she hadn't tried to befriend Sasuke, he would've become stronger? He wouldn't have felt the need to leave Konoha. He would've stayed and become powerful. She had slowed him down. Her asking him for help had kept him from training. She shouldn't have bugged him with her problems. She had been selfish to think that he'd always help her. And she was so stupid. It had taken so much time. He always needed to explain it several times before she understood him. People always said he was a prodigy. She had held him back, she realized.

/Look at yourself now, dobe! You're pathetic, you disgust me!/

She was weak, pathetic. She had not been strong enough to get him back. She had failed. I really am weak, huh, teme? she thought bitterly. I'm sorry, Sasuke. I can see it clearly now. This bond only helped me. I was too afraid of being alone that I forgot to ask if you actually wanted me to be your friend.

/You have become my closest friend, Naruto. You are my only precious person, Naruto./

Why would he say this then? Was it a lie?

/You are my weakness, my only weakness. You hinder me from gaining true power./

I hindered him. Maybe he had meant it; that she was his closest friend. But his words lost their meaning as soon as he had tried to kill her. As the chidori pierced her chest. But he had missed her heart... Sasuke never missed his aim. Did he reconsider? Maybe he was aiming for my heart but changed his direction on purpose in the last second? she pondered, desperately searching for a way to minimize the extent of his betrayal. But deep within, she knew she was deluding herself.

Her best friend had put a chidori through her chest. He had aimed to kill her. To sever their bond.

And it was all her fault.

Naruto's breath accelerated. She was hyperventilating. The fist on her chest gripped the fabric even tighter, trying to ease the increasing pain in her chest. Her head felt funny, she needed more oxygen.

"She's having a panic attack!" Tsunade alerted Kakashi. Naruto was not even aware of their voices.

Tsunade ordered Kakashi to "Try calm her down!" while she raced out the door to get something to sedate the girl.

Naruto hardly felt her sensei's arms pulling her against his broad chest; how he patted her back and stroked her soft hair soothingly. She faintly heard the whispered words of encouragement. Sobs were violently shaking her. Kakashi winced as he heard the whispered words that left Naruto's mouth like a mantra. "He tried to kill me he tried to kill me he tried to kill me he..."

"Sh, Naru, he won't kill you. I promise!" the grey haired jounin spoke softly into her ear.

Kakashi didn't know whether it were his words of reassurance or rather the lack of oxygen that made the girl stop. But she quietly fell asleep, before Tsunade came back with the tranquillizer.

He already did kill me, were the girl's last thoughts before she passed out.

In an underground lair, far away from Konoha, Sasuke sat on the bed of his cell of a room. Orochimaru had welcomed him personally and congratulated him for his decision. His training would begin in three days when his wounds had healed. The wounds, which the dobe had caused.

The raven ran a weary hand over his eyes. He was exhausted. If Kabuto hadn't reached him, he doubted that he had gotten to the lair on his own.

Naruto... she had been so strong. He had to silently admit it. The girl had surprised him. The red chakra that had leaked out of her had amazed him. He had had no idea that this kind of power was sleeping inside of the blonde. What is your secret, dobe?

After their attacks had clashed, Sasuke found himself kneeling above her. Their foreheads almost touching. He couldn't hear her breathing. That was good, right? He wanted her dead!

But why did his chest feel like it was on fire? The normally hollow ache of loneliness was raging in his chest. He had killed her! He should be happy! But what was this feeling? He had the inkling that he had felt it before... But when? He couldn't remember.

He tried to crawl closer to the blonde. As if in slow motion, his headband with the Leaf insignia fell from him. His eyes caught the scratch that neatly cut the leaf in half. Unwillingly, he felt himself smirk. You actually did it, dobe. You scratched my forehead.

The smirk left his face as soon as the first drops of heavy rain hit his bruised skin. The rain reminded him of the time that had passed. He had to leave before back-up arrived!

But first he had to check on the dobe. His fingers were shaking terribly as he placed them on the side of her throat, above her carotid. He felt for the pulse, inwardly begging his fingers to give him a reassuring pulsation. But there was none.

I killed her. The ache in his chest exploded to new heights. He would have passed out then and there, if not for his sudden urge to get away from the corpse of his formerly closest friend. He could no longer stay here. He had killed her.

He remembered the feeling as his chidori connected with Naruto's skin. Bony ribs gave in, breaking under the power of his attack. He felt his hand gliding through the soft tissue of Naruto's lung. Again ribs and then – nothing. His hand had punched a hole through her thorax.

Sasuke forced himself out of the memory. Slowly, his racing thoughts calmed down. He didn't know why he had thought that the dobe was dead. But he had proof that she wasn't. His Mangekyou Sharingan hadn't activated. He had not killed her.

The hot feeling that followed his realization, eased the pain in his chest a little. What was it? Relief... he understood. With that last thought, Sasuke fell back on his bed, asleep before his head even touched the pillow.

Sasuke had no idea that the pain in his chest was the same kind of pain, he had felt several years ago, when he had stumbled upon a scene he'd never forget. It was the night of the Uchiha massacre. Seeing his brother standing over his dead parents, comprehending that his beloved aniki had murdered everyone that was dear to him – from that day on there was a pain in his chest. It became dull over the years, but still was his eternal companion.

The boy had no idea that the only time his chest felt lighter and not as cramped, was when he was around a certain blonde girl.

And he had no idea that the girl felt the same.

And although Sasuke now knew that he had not succeeded in killing her, he was probably lucky that he had no idea that his actions and his hateful words were the so-called tip of the iceberg. He had no idea that his words had brought Naruto closer to the edge of insanity as ever before. It was a tightrope walk. All it would need was the tiniest push, and she'd fall over the edge.

(1) this is what Naruto actually said to Sasuke, I just modified it to fit the flow of the story (Ch. 227 & 228)

Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it so far!

Please let me know what you think! Criticism is much appreciated! Only way to improve my writing ;) and please feel free to correct any mistakes! This is my first fanfic, after all!

xXHaneliXx