Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine. I'm playing with them anyway. Not much has changed since I was kid.. I still go around touching things that do not belong to me.

A/N: This little shit of a one shot was inspired by a real life conversation that was long overdue. Sometimes, frustration causes people to just blurt things out, to lay it on the line and prepare for the worst.. but hope for the best. To anyone who might give me shit over how I end this story? Yes, it is entirely possible to go from talking about liking each other to having hot sex.. well, I'm pretty sure that it's possible.. also, this is my fic… and if I want to insinuate that Jane and Maura would skip straight to hot sex.. well, that's my prerogative, isn't it? Thanks for taking the time to read, and if you're feeling kind and generous, reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks again!

Say You Like Me

I'm pretty sure she likes me.

I've never asked or anything. I mean, who comes right out and asks if someone likes them.. like, likes them..?

That's so third grade.

I could always send her flowers and fudge clusters, kind of like a Secret Admirer type thing.. Then one day, just work up the nerve to tell her that the reason her office looks like a flower shop and she's gained ten pounds is because I was too chickenshit to tell her how I feel.. that would go over well.

I roll my eyes dramatically, knowing that's probably not a good way to go about this.. this.. whatever the hell this is..

Maybe I should go old school and write her a note that says "Do you like me as more than a friend? Check yes or no." and leave it on her desk..

I won't do it. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I will keep dropping hints, vying for her affection, following her around like a lovesick fool and trying to play it cool so she doesn't figure out what's going on.

Yeah, right. Like that's going to happen.. this is Maura we're talking about. I have all but spelled it out for her, and she still hasn't caught on. Maybe I should see about getting a sky writer… a few loops, a few hearts.. "MAURA, I HAVE A THING FOR YOU. LOVE, JANE" spelled out in smoke.. or fumes.. or exhaust. Whatever that shit is that trails behind those little planes.

All these things she's got me doing.. yoga, eating healthier, substituting one cup of coffee a day with herbal tea, going to fancy ass restaurants with shit on their menus that I can't pronounce and, therefore, shouldn't eat..

Last Friday night, we went to some kind of Poetry Out Loud thing that she promised would be "fun and educational".. which, coming from Maura means "boring and lengthy".

Half way through the performances, she elbowed me in the ribs because I had started to snore. Startled, and temporarily unaware of my surroundings, I sat straight up and said, "Amen!"

I should've known all those Sundays Ma forced me to attend mass would come back to bite me in the ass one of these days.

The look Maura shot me was one of disdain, but beneath the disapproval, I thought I detected just a hint of amusement in her eyes.

And if it means getting to see her happy, getting to see her smile at me the way she did all the way home as she recited, from memory, her favorite lines from all of the performances.. I'll be sitting through a few more of these Poetry Out Loud events in the future..

I glance over at her to find that she is engrossed in whatever the hell is on the screen right now.

What was it tonight? Sock monkey sex? Big Bird.. who his cousins are and where they live? Shit.. I don't remember.

I can promise you I don't give two shits about the mating habits of gorillas or what birds are indigenous to North America.. but the woman sitting next to me does, and so, here I am… on a Friday night, sipping wine and watching some nature show that has already had two awkward, noisy sex scenes and one disgusting shit-dropping scene.

We are only seven minutes into an hour long show.

It's going to be a long night.

I stretch my legs out a little, bringing my feet out in front of me to rest on the coffee table, and sigh to myself.

"Are you comfortable? You can put your head or feet in my lap if you want.." She offers, a small smile on her lips, her hazel eyes all aglow in excitement over monkeys humping and fighting over food.

This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S! Thanks you, Gwen Stefani.. I couldn't have said it better myself.

"Uhh.. okay…"

She pats her lap, and immediately, I begin to move and to situate myself so that I can lay my head in it.

Feet probably would have been safer. Feet probably would have been the better, wiser choice.

When she rests her hand on my shoulder, suddenly any and all damns I might have given about the fact that I should have put my feet, not my head, in her lap are up and gone like a fart in the wind.

It isn't long before her hand leaves my shoulder and finds its way to my hair, her fingers running through it and untangling my wayward locks.

God, this is wrong.. but right.. but wrong… feels too good to be wrong..

A few minutes go by, and I find myself staring at the screen, watching as two gorillas nuzzle into one another then settle down for the night.

"Both of these gorillas are female. Neither one of them has found their mate, and so, they seek comfort and shelter in each other. Their connection and bond is strong, and it is likely that if they do not find mates soon, they will remain alone and rely on each other for food, protection, and companionship." The nature guide says softly, speaking off camera as a close up of the cuddling gorillas flashes on the screen.

Maybe we come from monkeys after all..

"That could be us one day."

It slips out of my mouth before I can stop it, and immediately, I wish I could take it back.

I am up a shit creek in a wire boat with no damn paddles.

Her fingers continue to play with my hair, and for a few seconds, I convince myself that she didn't hear me.

"What do you mean?" She asks, finding a particularly nasty tangle and working it out carefully.

I sigh.

"I don't know.. I mean, they just.. they're best friends, like us. They probably eat, sleep, play, and poop together, y'know? It's like… neither one of them have found their one and only, so they just stick together and take care of each other."

I brave a quick glance up at her to find that there is a serious, contemplative look on her face.

Oh, shit.. here it comes..

"Your logic is flawed." She asks, her features marred by contemplation.

I can't help but grin.

"How so?"

When is it not?

"Jane, they are primates. They seek only the bare necessities.. food, water, shelter, protection, and companionship. We are humans. Things are much more complicated for us. Our thought processes are more advanced, our emotional needs are more intricate…" She informs me, as if I do not already know that those damn monkeys have it a lot easier than us humans.

I roll my eyes.

"Maur, I was just saying.. I was trying to tell you… ugh, y'know what? Never mind.. I can't win with you. I wish that you would just.. God, why can't you just…"

I can't finish the question.

Not because I don't want to, but because I don't know how..

I'm frustrated.

I am this close to caving in, this close to coming right out and telling her what I want.

There is a long pause, and just as it starts to get a little uncomfortable, she breaks the silence.

"What is it that you want from me, Jane?" She asks, having finally picked up on the fact that something is not right.

I shrug.

"Did I do or say something wrong.. again?" She asks softly, and my heart sinks deep into my chest.

I remain silent.

"Whatever I said.. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.. whatever it is you want me to do, just tell me.. and I'll do it." She says, and her hand makes its way to my forearm, the warmth of her skin seeping into my pores.

Damn it, Maura..

"I want you to say you like me!"

And there it is, folks! You can write this moment down as the moment I collapsed like a house of cards.. because she is the only wind I cannot bear the brunt of… and so, I collapse.

Silence, until once again, she breaks it.

"Jane, of course I like you. We're best friends.. I know I haven't had a best friend.. until you.. but I thought I was doing it right. We spend time together, we laugh together.. we tell each other everything.." Her voice trails off when she hears the slap of my palm to my forehead.

Oh, my God.. she doesn't get it.

"Maur.. you're a great best friend. I love spending time with you, going places with you… that's not exactly what I meant.. I mean like.. y'know, as in.. like."

I watch as realization sets in, and a small smile forms on her lips.

"Well, why didn't you just say so? Why drop hints and prance around the truth?" She asks incredulously, and I sit up so that we can have this conversation face to face, needing more eye contact than can be provided by just the occasional stolen glance.

Really?

"Okay, first of all.. I do not prance… second… I'm pretty sure it's 'dance around the truth' or 'skate around the truth'.. I guess you could take your pick."

I squirm around, finding it nearly impossible to sit still right now.

After taking a moment to carefully consider what I just said, she smiles then speaks.

"I don't care for skating. I choose dance." She tells me, and I fight the urge to hit her with a pillow.

So. Fucking. Literal!

"Maura, the point is.. sometimes, you're a little… slow to catch on. I've been trying, in my own stupid way, to tell you, not show you, that… that I… what I'm trying to say is that I've been dropping hints left and right and you just didn't catch on. I mean, I do yoga with you three times a week, I go to fancy restaurants with food I can't afford or pronounce.. and I take you to see those weird foreign films you love. They have subtitles, Maura.. subtitles! I don't do that shit because I want to do it.. I do it for you, y'know?"

Her eyes fill with tears, and I know immediately that I have said the wrong thing.

I fall silent and remain that way, figuring that whatever it is I said to hurt her was pretty bad, and that I shouldn't add insult to injury.

"It never occurred to me that you might like me. I thought maybe.. I figured that this is what it's like, having a best friend. You tell me all the time that we are best friends, and since I have never had a best friend, I have nothing to compare our friendship to, Jane.. on more than one occasion, you have expressed that you do not date women. I simply did not tell you that I like you because I didn't want to complicate things. I enjoy being your best friend, and I value our friendship more than words can adequately and properly express." She tells me, and I look down to find that sometime during her little speech, I have taken her hand in mine.

She really is adorable.. clueless, and a little inept.. but totally adorable…

"If you like me.. God, Maura.. what was up with you going after all those guys? I mean, you had me completely convinced I didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell with you.."

She smiles, almost shyly.

"I am a woman, Jane."

I flash her my best well, duh! look and she just laughs.

"Yeah, so am I.. what's your point?"

And there.. there it is.. that damn smile! The one that has me running marathons, and doing yoga, and eating granola, and drinking tea…

"I have needs." She states, and rather simply.

Oh.

"Oh…"

I laugh nervously as she moves a little closer to me, leaning in so that she is seriously invading my personal space.

Not that I mind..

"Uhh.. needs, huh?"

I find myself scooting closer to her, grinning like a total idiot.

"Yes, Jane… needs." Her last word is a whisper lost on my lips as she closes the gap between us.

I feel her lips move against mine and waste no time responding, opening my mouth to her and allowing our tongues to tease each other in long strokes and slow swirls.

God, she's good at this… really good at this…

I reach out, cupping the side of her face with one hand, smiling into the kiss when she lets out a low moan as my tongue continues its passionate exploration of her mouth. Her fingers are tangled in my hair, and she tugs gently before her hand makes its way to the back of my neck.

I let out what can only be described as a half moan, half grunt when she pulls back and her lips leave mine.

"That was hot."

This whole saying the first thing that comes to mind that I have a habit of doing needs to stop.

"You Italians like it that way, don't you?" She asks, a blush creeping up her face.

I nod.

"Yeah.. I guess that's one thing Giovanni and I have in common.. we both think you're wicked hawt…"

I exaggerate the Boston Italian accent, somehow managing to sound a lot like the douche who wanted to lick Maura's face, and she giggles.

God, that giggle…

I lean in closer to her so that I can press my lips to her neck, leaving a trail of kisses on what is now feverish skin.

"You should have just told me I could have you when I was in the mood for Italian.." She says, her breath hitching when I nip at her pulse point.

I make a mental note that where my lips are at right now is a particularly sensitive spot on her neck before exploring the expanse of skin before me.

"And you should have just said yes when I asked if you wanted to sleep with me.."

My words are barely intelligible, mumbled against soft, warm skin.

"And if I say yes now?" She asks, and from her tone, I can tell that she is completely serious.

Leaning back so that I can look into her eyes, I raise an eyebrow in question.

Is this real life?

"I thought you were watching this monkey thing..?"

She shrugs casually, looking down so that she can smooth the wrinkles out her dress, then looks back up at me.

"They are gorillas, Jane.. and as I said before… I have needs."

I reach out and take her hand in mine, standing up and pulling her with me in the direction of my bedroom.

She has needs… and I have plans to meet each and every single one of them.. multiple times tonight.