I STILL DON'T OWN NARUTO

Neji's hands were stroking her sides…

So warm… So gentle…

Pleasuring her to new heights…

"Oh Neji…" Sakura moaned, his warmth spreading across her body, his kisses drifting down her chest, dark locks of chocolate hair cascading over his shoulders and broad back in a way that was simply divine.

SPLASH! Sakura sat up sputtering in indignation, glaring at the perpetrator who was currently hiding behind Sai and Kakashi. She leaped up from her bedroll and began stomping over to where her three teammates were cowering in fear as each step shook the earth.

"NA-RU-TO!"

"Ne, Sakura-chan have mercy!" Naruto whimpered pathetically. Crack! He dodged a flying tree, pausing watch in fearful awe as the thing sailed into the distance. "It was for the greater good-!" Blam! Naruto dodged again, protesting weakly with every assault. "Wait- Sakura-!" Crack! Sai and Kakashi took refuge in a copse of trees behind the fuming Sakura, leaving Naruto to his doom as more trees were utilized as Sakura's personal arsenal. "Kaka-sensei, Sai, help meeee!"

"No way, Dickless." Sai deadpanned, calmly averting his gaze from the massacre below. "We told you it was a bad idea."

"You're on your own, brat." Kakashi lamented with false regret. "However we appreciate your sacrifice for the greater good. You will be remembered."

"You backstabbing bast- Ahhhhh!" Crash! Naruto went flying backwards as Sakura swung a rather large tree limb into his stomach, batting him away into the distance until all that was visible was a shining star in the daytime sky (Team Rocket blasting off at the speed of light-! Oh wait, wrong storyline…)

Sakura then spun around to fix her remaining teammates with an evil glare. Kakashi and Sai felt a cold shiver run down their spines, as if someone had walked across their graves. "You will tell me why that idiot fucking decided to dump fucking ice cold water on me at fucking 6 AM in the fucking morning. Now."

Kakashi shifted nervously, but Sai, sweet obliviously stupid Sai, had no problem spitting out uncomfortable (read: disturbing, unpleasant, improper, downright nasty) information. "You were having an erotic dream. At least, that is what I concluded with the way you were moaning Neji's name for the past ten minutes." Sai gave her his signature and infuriating false grin. "Dickless was quite distressed."

"That doesn't even begin to describe the faces Naruto was making…" Kakashi snickered, but was silenced by a quick glare from Sakura.

"Please Sakura-chan! You have no idea how horrible it was to listen to- to- to that!" Naruto piped up, apparently returned from his impromptu journey into the outer reaches of the galaxy. His eyes filled with tears, haunted as his imagination began to replay the inhumane anguish he had had to endure for the past half hour. First Sakura's- oh dear Kami don't he could not believe he was saying this- wet dream (and not even about him, the awesome, ass-kicking, Kyuubi-powered, Hokage-to-be Uzumaki Naruto!) about that bastard Hyuuga prat. So what if Neji was ANBU, and handsome, and rich, and- and… Whatever, he was totally not as powerful as the great Naruto. Surely not! Never!

"Please understand, Sakura-chan! My ears were literally bleeding!" Naruto cried.

Sai suddenly invaded into Naruto's personal space, nearly touching Naruto's ear with his nose as the Root member inspected his ears. Naruto was extremely still as if petrified at Sai's sudden proximity. They looked like some cliché scene from a yaoi drama (Sakura held back her giggle at the thought). Sai ruined this image, of course, the moment he opened his mouth. "You have a serious misunderstanding of the term 'literally', Dickless. For example, you literally lack any sort of bodily fluids ejaculating form your ears."

Naruto's face pinched as he shoved Sai out of his personal bubble. "Ew, don't say it like that!"

"Say what?" Sai scooted closer again, much to Naruto's disconcertion.

"Ejaculate!" Naruto half-whispered as if the word tasted horrible, shuffling to put space between him and Sai.

"It is a correct term for the meaning that I imply." Sai closed the distance between himself and Naruto again, confused as to why Naruto seemed so fidgety.

"No it isn't! It implies something else entirely!" Naruto scooted away from Sai again.

Sakura and Kakashi looked on in amusement. Well, Sakura did. Kakashi was actually getting uncomfortable with how Sai was acting. Oh sweet, sweet Sai. So socially retarded. So emotionally stunted (Stunted with a stick. A very, very big stick. A thick stick. There was a pun somewhere in there… Inner Sakura cackled.).

Finally Kakashi heaved a great sigh (damn brats, he didn't get paid enough to deal with this shit every freakin' day) and grabbed the collar of Sai's shirt, dragging the mentally inept young man away from Naruto, who was turning a queer shade of red. He reprimanded the boys as he pulled them apart, "Enough. Remember the problem- er- situation at hand."

Sakura stared at her team (the Third was high on some crazy shit when he threw this particular band of misfits together)(probably some assassination gone wrong in which bath salts were snuck into that pipe of his)(or he was senile)(I'll stop)… It was amusing the way Naruto looked like a mix between a kicked puppy and a traumatized molestation victim, either due to Sakura's wet dream or Sai's homosexual-yet-completely-sexually-unaware gestures, perhaps both. Sai just looked confused and slightly disturbed as he remembered Sakura's predicament. And Kakashi… Wait. What. No. Oh Kami, was Kakashi adjusting his pants?! That sick pervert! He had probably enjoyed the sounds she had made during her… sleep… And he was probably reading his porn at the same time! Ew! Gross!

"Goddammitall…" Sakura muttered in one breath, rubbing her forehead in exasperation. Her face turned as interesting shade of pink at the thought of her teammates witnessing her… uncontrolled libido. Fuck. Wait, bad word choice. What was with her team and crazy sexual encounters (a porn-addicted sensei, perverted blonde apprenticed to the Legendary Pervy Sage, asexual/homosexual/sexually-confused-retarded Root member, and the crazy, angsty-incestuous Uchiha with a love-hate relationship with his brother who would remain anti-sexual until he had killed said brother…)?

Honestly it was amazing that Konoha was renowned for its powerful shinobi rather than completely cray-cray cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs ninja. To name a few: Uchiha Madara, Anko, Uchiha Obito, Gai, Uchiha Itachi*, Orochimaru, Uchiha Fugaku, Danzo, Uchiha Sasuke… Hm, there seems to be a pattern here but I can't quite put my finger on it…

Anywho, back to the story.

Sakura turned to Nauto with a frown. "Naruto, I thought we made this clear. Neji and I are dating. We are happy. I am happy. Face it. You can't do anything about it."

Naruto opened his mouth to protest- "And no you can't castrate him!" Naruto closed his mouth, all three of her teammates looking particularly crestfallen. "He needs those parts!" Her teammates cringed and mumbled words contrary to that statement but did not outright protest.

Then Sakura smirked. "Besides, I happen to enjoy those parts."

The three men recoiled in absolute horror while Sakura quickly grabbed her things to go wash in the nearby stream, leaving with the sounds of retching and sobbing in her wake. Except Sai, he was just frozen in shock, somehow comprehending the vulgarity of her words.

"Sakura's innocence!" Naruto wept, not knowing how similar to Gai/Lee he was acting. "Such glorious sorrow!"

~:D~

Sakura now knew the secret to shutting up her incessantly talking teammates! The entire trip home from their mission was quiet. Sweet lord baby Buddha! It was a miracle. Sakura hummed and skipped happily ahead of her still-shocked and silent teammates, the three of them lagging behind with dark circles under their eyes.

The guards at Kohoha's gates almost didn't let them in, thinking that they were impersonators. Naruto was never quiet, Kakashi was never not-giggling at his book (which was suspiciously absent- a dire tragedy must have occurred i.e. Sakura), and Sai… well, as quiet as Sai normally was, he usually said something to piss of the gatekeepers as they entered the village. All in all, someone's grandmother either keeled over and bit the dust or this was a group of imposters.

There was just one problem for the gatekeepers that kept them from approaching the suspicious team: an overly cheery, happy-go-lucky, oh-shit-she-killed-someone-didn't-she Sakura. She was fucking skipping. They were all doomed. The apocalypse was upon them.

The pink-haired kunoichi turned to complain to her team that they were walking too slow, and without missing a beat, grabbed each of their collars and began dragging them towards the gate at her preferred pace, Kakashi's bum, Sai's face, and Naruto's entire left side getting road burn. Sakura ignored the whimpers that floated up from their lifeless bodies.

"Hey guys!" Sakura chirped at the guards, the grin on her face enough to rival the sun and Gai's cheeriness put together. "We're home!"

"Uh-huh…" the gatekeepers on duty managed to utter as gracefully as they could while their jaws were on the floor. They stood dumbly as Sakura skipped on by with surprising grace given that there were three limp bodies being roughly [wo]manhandled in her wake. Each time one of the victims bumped into another, hit a sharp rock and/or pothole in the road, or choked on their shirt collars a pathetic and pleading whimper rose up in the form of a ghost.

Sakura smiled even brighter.

As Team Seven disappeared down the road towards the Hokage tower, the guards looked back up at each other, attempting to close their mouths. One cleared his throat. "What do you think she's done?"

The other shook his head. "Bloodlust?"

"Insanity?" The first one frowned.

"I got it! That crap they put into hookas!"

"With a dash of LSD."

"I heard the Third smoked that."

"Crazy shit."

"Seems legit."

Pause…..

"We don't mention this to anyone-"

"Nope."

"Never happened?"

"Never happened."

~:D~

Meanwhile, Sakura dumped her teammates at the front door to the Hokage Tower. "Okay boys, you go do the report! I'm gonna go find my hunky man!"

With that, Sakura turned and strode away, dismissing her teammates. Hey, if they were still too traumatized to protest, she was going to take advantage of the free labor. Kakashi usually always dumped her with the task of giving the reports anyway. Revenge was sweet. And today it had presented the opportunity in a neat little package tied with a bow. So naturally, Sakura laced that bitch up.

Imagine Neji sitting on our bed in nothing but a bow… Inner Sakura snickered.

Oh sweet mother of Buddha! Sakura pinched her nose to prevent the nosebleed.

Those delicious, lickable muscle and his 'package' ready to be unwrapped… Inner didn't bother to stop her nosebleed. Sweet hot mama I want to devour that ass.

You're crazy. Sakura protested but could not hold back a chuckle.

Admit it, you like the view I've got goin' on here in our pretty little head. Inner scoffed.

…This is true. Please continue. Sakura inwardly smirked.

Oh with pleasure baby. With much, much pleasure.

Sakura shook her head as she turned in the direction of the Hyuuga residence. It was a beautiful sight. In typical Hyuuga fashion, the compound was traditional and elegant in a simple but regal manner. The fencing and gate were made from pristine and polished bamboo wood, with iron detail that lacked decoration save for the curled tips of the spires. From what Sakura remembered from her visits to Hinata, the gardens within were perfectly kept, manicured to a degree of perfection that rivaled Ino and all her experience with gardening. Every rock and flower seem to have a specified location, every wind chime seemingly tuned, hell even the fish in the koi pond seemed to be trained to swim together in an orderly fashion (but that was impossible… right?).

A smile lit Sakura's face when a familiar servant opened the peephole of the gate. "Konichiwa, Hanaka-san." Sakura bowed formally, a slight bend at the waist befitting a guest to a hosting servant. Even the Hyuuga Branch members were a stickler for formality. "Is Hyuuga Neji-san available?"

Hanaka, the stern head of the Main House's serving, gave Sakura a small but friendly smile, shaking her head. "I apologize, Sakura-san, but Neji headed out about an hour ago. He should still be within the village though."

"Oh." Sighing, Sakura bobbed her head in thanks. "Thank you for telling me, Hanaka-san. "

The peephole of the gate closed and Sakura turned in the direction of her apartment with her shoulders slumped dejectedly. Who knows where Neji could have gone in the span of an hour? Coming back from a mission, Sakura was simply not up to the task of searching the village for her boyfriend. Villagers greeted Sakura as she walked through the streets, people she had healed, people she had known growing up, or simply people whom she walked by on her way to work every morning. It always amazed Sakura how large Konoha was while still maintaining the aura of a small town.

Sakura's apartment was located about a ten minute walk from the hospital, and fifteen minutes from the Hokage tower and Academy, although she could reach those places in seconds if she took to the rooftops. But Sakura had always enjoyed the peaceful quiet of the mornings as she walked to her job. As they say, 'it's not about the destination, but the journey'. The complex she resided in was inhabited by mostly shinobi. Most apartments near the village center were the same way, since shinobi had to be ready to be called upon by the Hokage in a moment's notice.

This building was painted a neutral shade of tan, with false wooden shutters on the windows and iron railings. It was one of the nicer complexes in Konoha, which Sakura could afford because she had high pay as top medic and an A-rank kunoichi, and she didn't spend her money on much other than food, scrubs, and supplies. Sakura reached into her pack- almost forgot about that when I went to find Neji- and withdrew her apartment key, trekking up the stairs to the third floor, second door on the right.

Sakura froze as she slipped her key in, feeling the lack of resistance.

The door is unlocked… Her jade eyes narrowed and she quickly pocketed her key while withdrawing a kunai from her holster, taking a cautionary stance as she gently opened the door as silently as possible. Taking slow steps, Sakura entered her apartment, eyes flashing back and forth as she looked for details and clues. Her foyer was clean as far as she could tell and none of her traps were triggered. The foyer opened up to the living room, a figure sitting on her couch.

"Dear fucking Buddha you scared the shirt outta me!" Sakura snapped as she tuned the light on.

Neji looked up from his book- hey that's mine! -smirking at his girlfriend. Meticulously marking his page (using a bookmark, because Sakura nearly ripped him a new one the last time he dog-eared a book in front of her), the handsome Hyuuga walks languidly over to Sakura, his steps long and elegant with the grace of a shinobi.

Fucking god it should be illegal to look so gorgeous while maintaining the male parts! Inner sighs.

His hand takes hers that holds the kunai, keeping intense eye-contact while prying the weapon from her hand and sliding it into the holster on her thigh –Oh my Kami that is one of the most sensuous things I've ever seen. Sakura relaxes, straightening and taking off her knapsack, throwing it next to the coffee table. Neji's hands are on her hips, sliding to encircle her waist and pull her closer.

"Welcome home." He murmurs, and she can feel his voice rumble in his chest, which has always tunred her on.

"Mmm I like coming home to this." Sakura chuckled as her fingers wove into his hair. "I like it a lot…" Her voice trailed off as they engaged in a slow, sensuous kiss.

"How was the mission?" He asked when they had finished, still holding her body against his. Neji loved the slight tug of her fingers running through his hair as Sakura thought about her answer.

Sakura chuckled. "Well I think I scarred my teammates for life."

"Oh? I need to hear this." Neji smirked.

Sakura turned slightly red, and Neji's smirk widened. Interesting.

"I –um –had a dream about you and –"

"What kind of dream would this be then?" Neji loved the way her face was heating up, and his fingers began to slide downwards.

"Just a dream!" Sakura protested, muffling a surprised groan when she felt Neji's large hands palm her bottom.

"Anyway," Sakura quickly moved on. "Apparently I had said your name in my sleep and Naruto had overreacted by dumping cold water on me!"

Neji had a feeling he knew what kind of dream Sakura had had about him, but he would save that for later. He loved stories about traumatizing idiots. He would… investigate… Sakura's dreams later. Perhaps she could give him a demonstration. A lecherous grin threatened to emerge on his face but he switched his attention back to his girlfriend.

"They kept going on about preserving my innocence or some bullshit and about how you weren't the right guy for me, but they don't think any guy in the world is right for me," Sakura chuckled, "so I beat Naruto up with a tree –"

"A tree?!" Neji winced.

" –and made a joke about you and I having that seemed to short-circuit their brains." Sakura chuckled darkly. "It was the most silent and peaceful journey back to Konoha I had ever experience!"

"Oh, and I dragged their pathetic and unresponsive bodies back through the gates." Sakura beamed.

"Mmm, keeping talking dirty to me." Neji murmured with a smirk.

The medic threw her head back and laughed. Her vitality, her spark of life never failed to draw him in. He really couldn't be blamed for his actions when he was again overcome with the need to kiss her, and complying with that need, crashed his lips against hers, stroking her tongue with his until they were lost in each other once more.

Neji pulled back, his lips hovering against hers, breathing her in. "I have dinner."

Sakura's eyes snapped open and stared at him in surprise. "Really?!"

Stop being so goddamn perfect… Inner sighed dreamily, unable to muster the strength to get angry.

With a loving smile, Neji took her hand and led her into the kitchen, the smell of Chinese food wafting in the air. Take-out boxes sat in neat paper bags on her counter, with the label 'Chef Lee's Kitchen' on them. "I got your favorite."

You, Mr. Hyuuga are, a god among men! Inner's eyes sparkled dreamily.

Sakura was honestly surprised that he would do this for her. Pleasantly so, rest assured. Her jade eyes were wide, mouth slightly parted; the hand that Neji wasn't holding was raised to her lips in astonishment. The extent of which he thought about her, cared for her, took the time to make her happy for no reason other than to see her smile…

"Oh… Neji…" Sakura breathed.

Neji gave her a small but genuine smile as he left her side, unpacking the boxes and opening them to inspect the food. "They might be a little cold. I left to get it as soon as I heard you had returned, but I wasn't sure how long it would take you to come home –"

"I love you." Sakura blurted.

Neji paused his uncharacteristic rambling (aw, he's actually nervous!) and turned to give Sakura a questioning look.

Now that the initial shock had worn off, the smile that lit Sakura's face could have rivaled the sun, doing funny things to Neji's heart. Sakura's head shook slowly in disbelief. "No one has ever done anything like this for me."

"So… you like it?" Neji asked nervously. He sucked in a breath with surprise as something pink launched itself at him and he found Sakura wrapped up in his arms.

"Yes of course!" She laughed, giving him a loud smooch on his cheek. "You make me so happy, Neji-kun! Now let's dig in!"

It was no formal affair. They hadn't gone out to dinner or eaten any kind of fancy food. But that night would forever remain as one of Sakura's best memories. The take-out had needed to be re-heated, and while it was in the microwave Neji and Sakura had danced around the kitchen with only the refrigerator light on, swaying to a silent waltz, not wanting to interrupt the ambiance that the dim lighting was providing. They had sat on her old and worn sofa eating right out of the cartons with cheap chopsticks. They talked mostly, about missions, friendly, about crazy subjects that had nothing to do with their lives other than the fact that they were together and there and who cares what they talked about because they were together. Sakura laughed at his deadpan humor and distaste for all things sunshine and rainbows, and Neji smiled softly at Sakura's recounts of her idiot teammate and wild hospital stories.

Somehow Neji ended up staying the night. They had shared a toothbrush and had taken turns using the shower. Neji actually laughed (the dead Hyuuga ancestors were rolling their graves at their prodigy laughing so blatantly) at Sakura's puppy-themed pajama set, with pastel figures printed on her pants and tank top, lined with lavender and white polka-dots. Yet Neji had been unable to keep his eyes off the way the tank top clung to her curves and those loose pants had hung low on her hip bones, and the cute way Sakura shuffled with the too-long fabric, or the way she threw herself onto the bed like a little girl, sprawling out lazily.

Neji had no clothes after his shower, and had nearly had a heart attack when Sakura offered one of Naruto's old shirts (it was orange). "Over my dead body" was the Hyuuga's response, and after ransacking her closet, Sakura managed to find some of Naruto's unused nin pants. Neji had wrinkled his nose in distaste, making her giggle, but had agreed to put them on.

Although he had offered to stay in the guest room, Sakura had yanked him into bed with her, instantly spreading one half of her body over his. Neji smiled smugly as her arms wrapped around his torso, one leg draped over his, her nose nuzzling his neck and her breath fanning down his chest.

"Stay with me." She had murmured, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder like a sated cat.

His chuckled echoed into her body. "If I do then don't expect to be rid of me soon." He murmured into her chest, kissing the top of those bubblegum strands.

"Mmm I like the sound of that." Sakura mumbled, already half asleep.

They fell asleep at 1 AM, happy and in the other's arms. Peace was never guaranteed in the shinobi nations, but for now the two warriors managed to pocket a little bit of their own in this moment of love and bliss.

Please review!

EDITED 2018

~Lilithia