It's been a long time since I've posted anything for Bleach, soooo... hopefully two oneshots in one night will (kindasorta) make up for my long hiatus. This one is set at the beginning of the manga, before the Rescue-Rukia-From-Aizen's-Evil-Plans arc. Warning: LOTS of references to feminine issues, if you get my drift. Don't read further if you're squeamish about/offended by that kind of thing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of its characters.

Favor

Rukia knew what was going on from the moment she felt the first jolt of familiar cramping in her abdomen.

What. The. Hell. This is a freaking gigai!

Rukia groaned and sat up slowly, clutching her stomach. She slid back the closet door and spotted Ichigo sitting on his bed with a book lying open in front of him.

"Ichigo, can I ask you a favor?" Rukia asked cautiously as she padded over to him.

"Depends on what it is," Ichigo replied without looking up from his book.

Rukia's face flushed an odd shade of scarlet and she suddenly found her feet very interesting. "Do you have… could I maybe borrow… I, uh, need…."

"Spit it out before I lose interest," Ichigo demanded, though he hadn't really sounded like he was interested in the first place. To his credit, though, he had stopped reading the book.

"Do you think your sisters have any tampons?" Rukia asked, as quickly as she could manage.

Ichigo jerked his head upward, his eyes suddenly wide and alert. Rukia could tell by the look on his face that this was not the question he had been expecting, whatever that may have been. She also strongly suspected it was the first time he had ever been asked such a question. "How the hell should I know?"

"You'd know better than I would. They're your sisters."

"They're eleven years old. Do you think they'd have tampons?"

Rukia's heart began to sink, but she pressed on anyway. "Maybe. Some girls start early. They probably have some for... you know, just in case. You could ask them."

"So you want me to go and ask my sisters if they have any tampons," Ichigo repeated monotonously.

Rukia somehow missed the sarcasm in his voice and nodded vigorously, a hopeful expression on her face. "Please."

Ichigo had to close his eyes and take several deep breaths to stop himself from shouting. Shouting would attract attention, and the last thing he needed at the moment was for his sisters and his idiot father to discover a girl in his room.

"Did it ever cross your mind that they might wonder what the hell I would want with their tampons?"

Rukia's face fell. She obviously hadn't thought of that. "Well… maybe they would have some in the bathroom. They'd never know if you took them."

"So you want me to go searching through the bathroom to see if my sisters have a stash of tampons hidden there?"

"Yes, please," Rukia replied pleadingly.

Ichigo let out an exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll be back in a minute."

Rukia busied herself committing his confused scowl to memory. He was so innocent it was almost cute. She caught herself before she allowed the thought to progress further. Damned hormones, messing with my head.

Ichigo returned a few minutes later, his scowl still firmly in place. "I looked all over the bathroom and didn't find any."

An idea suddenly occurred to Rukia, a brilliant one, one so simple that she didn't know why she hadn't thought of it in the first place. "Your dad runs a medical clinic," she informed Ichigo as if he didn't already know this. "Maybe he'd have some for his female patients!"

Ichigo sighed exasperatedly. "How am I supposed to know where they'd be even if he had any? And you know as well as I do that he'd be even more suspicious than my sisters if I asked him where he kept spare tampons."

Rukia bit her lip. That was a complication she had not foreseen. Quickly becoming desperate, she looked at Ichigo imploringly. I have never felt so helpless in all my life. "Well, could you, um... go buy some for me?"

Ichigo's eyebrows nearly flew off his face. "Hell no."

"Ichigo, please. I know you're a guy, but even you have to know that they're a necessity -"

"I said no, Rukia. Go get your own damn tampons."

Even though Rukia had anticipated his resistance, it still bugged her. Why does he have to be such a clueless moron? "But I kind of need one, um, like now. I can't really go anywhere without..." She trailed off, knowing that he'd either get the idea or he wouldn't, and saying anything more would only humiliate herself further.

Ichigo looked at Rukia for a long moment. He was so used to seeing her calm and composed that the sight of her uncharacteristically bright red cheeks and neck gave him the irrational urge to laugh. He refrained, however, reminding himself that an angry non-hormonal Rukia was scary enough; pissing her off while she was PMSing would be guaranteed suicide. He wasn't really in the mood to get beaten to a pulp by a four-foot-tall shinigami on her period.

Still, though – tampons, of all things….

"You're more trouble than you're worth, midget," Ichigo mumbled as he grabbed his wallet from his desk.

"Thank you, Ichigo. I owe you one," Rukia said, throwing her arms around him in an impulsive hug. Ichigo's cheeks turned just the slightest bit pink, but instantly he shook it off and regained his usual impassive demeanor.

"Yeah, you do," he replied. Damn weird mood swings.

"And, uh," she added as innocently as she could, clutching her side for added effect, "some pain reliever wouldn't be so bad either."

x.X.x

Ichigo stormed angrily through the aisles of the convenience store. He felt really weird and entirely out of place looking at the feminine pain relievers.

Pamprin. Midol. Excederin. Tylenol. Advil. Motrin. Extra strength. Maximum strength. Multi-symptom. Complete. Tablets. Capsules. Extended release capsules. What the hell is the difference in all these?

Ichigo closed his eyes and grabbed a box at random. It was the store brand, which was cheaper anyway. He sighed and glanced up at the aisle signs, heading to the one labeled "feminine hygiene."

His mood did not improve once he located the tampons. Ichigo wanted to scream as his eyes swept over rack after rack of colorful boxes, each one advertising features that Ichigo did not have any desire to understand. Every brand proclaimed its superiority over the others, and considering he had zero experience with Tampax or Kotex or Always or anything else, he looked to the price tags to help him with his decision. He nearly fainted.

He was so distracted by the outrageous prices of tampons that he didn't notice the person passing the end of the aisle do a double-take. "Ichigo, is that you? Why are you holding two boxes of tampons?"

Ichigo silently cursed his bright orange hair and turned toward Keigo with a murderous glare. He would be borrowing that memory replacer thing for sure.

And besides that, Rukia was going to pay.

A/N: I never really looked for feminine supplies in Japan, so I dunno what brands they have. If you know, please feel free to put it in your reply… otherwise, imagine Pamprin and Tampax and whatnot with katakana all over the packages. :D Again, srry for all the awkward references, but the story just didn't feel the same without them.