A/N: Daredevil chapter 5 is here! Thanks to Little Donkey for the beta.

Chapter 5

"You're here again..."

"Ah... I'm found out."

"Why do you always go here...?"

"Oh...Because it makes me feel stronger somehow."

"How so...?"

"Here I can meet my stubborn friends."

"...I don't see anything here."

"One day you might understand."

"You said it as if I would never understand."

"Bingo, you read my mind."

When Ayame was feeling dejected, she would often go out to a meadow.

She said that watching the grass sway in the wind calmed her down, and she would sit there for hours on end, until she felt better and thanked nature for cheering her up again.

That was why on that faithful morning Mio asked Ritsu to accompany her to a nearby meadow, even before her throbbing headache was gone.

Ayame would have to be here after what Mio had done the night before.

So unforgivable.

So mindless.

After all what Ayame had gone through.

"Do you want to die...?"

The soft voice came from the shorter girl behind her.

Since they opened their eyes that morning, she had given Mio nothing but concerned looks.

"I never mention anything to you about dying."

"When I guess, I always go for the worst possibility."

"What's that?" Mio said, slightly amused, "You must be a terrible gambler..."

There was a pause before she heard a reply.

"...Did I lose when I bet everything last night...?"

Mio noticed there was hopelessness in that voice.

Something that was the complete opposite from how Ritsu was the night before.

Devoid of warmth and feeling.

"I nearly died last night," Ritsu continued, "When you saw my..."

Mio snorted.

"Ritsu, you're terrible," she said lightly.

"I'm sorry," she said with a disarming smile, "...Did I ruin your abstinence?"

"You are such an idiot," Mio said bluntly.

Ritsu fixed her eyes on the sky and said, "Your Honor, I swear I didn't rape her."

"You idiot!"

"Whoa! Did I? ?"

"Why are you so fucking insensitive? !"

"I don't..."

"When will you ever look at the situation and think before you open your big fat mouth! ?"

"I don't ...I don't know, okay! ?" Ritsu exclaimed, "...I don't know...what I should say."

Mio groaned. "Are you socially awkward?"

"Darn it. You're clearly looking down at me," Ritsu said in irritation.

Mio sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Have you ever had a girlfriend? This is the exact timing where any normal person would shut up about rape."

"Well I'm sorry I'm not normal! You don't have to say it, you know... I understand."

Mio frowned and turned away from her.

Why the hell did she bring this idiot here when she obviously needed space?

Did she feel so guilty that she brought Ritsu here for Ayame to judge, just as Ritsu thought?

She didn't know.

The wind suddenly became stronger and all of a sudden the air was filled with dandelion seeds.

For years, Mio couldn't understand the appeal of the landscape, but now she did.

It was a breathtaking sight, as small countless seeds dispersed in the air, light as cotton, ready for a difficult journey which would lead each of them to a new life.

Some of them would die, but some of them would survive.

What would happen, Mio wondered, if dandelion seeds had feelings like humans...?

Departing from their parents together with their beloved brothers, experiencing an unbelievable journey they would never forget, and searching for a new beautiful meadow together...but only a handful of them could live.

Would they die of grief...?

Or would they live on to replace the lives of their loved ones...?

Mio had known the answer a long time ago.

"Because it makes me feel stronger somehow."

They would.

They might cry and mourn, but they would stubbornly, heartlessly grow.

They had no other choice.

Every one of them was born to the same fate.

The fate to watch their loved ones die, before they go on with their life and grow...

"Mio..."

...No matter how difficult the life in front of them seemed to be.

"...I don't regret what I did..." the brunette said, "Because when I said I bet everything, I really meant it. And...I don't what you to regret anything, either. That is why I'm going to go."

Mio turned quickly to her.

Ritsu was smiling.

"I'm going to vanish from your life," she said, "Admit it, having me in your life is a recipe for disaster. I shouldn't be here in front of you. I will disappear and you can start your life anew."

She then flashed the grin that first reminded Mio of her past lover and said, "...We shouldn't have met."

Have you ever felt like you knew what you always wanted, but at the same you didn't...?

And when you realized what your true desire was, it was already too late.

Nothing could be undone anymore.

If life was always this confusing, how did so many people live it and say, "I love my life"?

Wanting distraction more than anything, Mio couldn't help herself to come back to her dorm room and head straight to Ayame's house.

She was dying to work on something, anything.

Anything to get rid of this agonizing headache.

She didn't know how it suddenly crossed her mind that some parts of the house were still in a state of dilapidation, but she needed the distraction.

She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, panting heavily.

It was still early in the morning, and yet she felt like it had been a very long day.

After she could control her breathing again, she wondered about the events that just hit her.

She had sex with Ritsu.

Ritsu was leaving because of her.

And she had lost all sense of direction in life. Her mind had already been thrown into complete disarray.

How did everything go so disastrously wrong...?

She didn't know where, at some point of her life, she forgot how true happiness felt like.

She had always been with Ayame after her mother passed away.

Then after Ayame was gone, she continued on her own, not knowing where to go as she struggled to live.

All she knew was that she was still here and not where Ayame and her mother were.

Did that mean that she was strong? Or stubborn?

Or was it there something that made her refuse to die...?

"I'm still here..."

'No...' she told herself, 'Ritsu is not Ayame. And she's leaving anyway.'

"'I'm still here', my ass," she whispered, "Liar..."

Maybe Ritsu had really grown on her.

Maybe she didn't want Ritsu to go.

But for her, it was always a "maybe".

She didn't dare to dig deeper into her feelings.

The warmth that Ritsu gave her had gently, gradually melted the wall of ice she built around herself.

It was not like Mio would ever admit it.

It was too late anyway.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind, Mio got up and walked into the living room.

Thanks to Ritsu, the house was as dusty as when they first walked into it back then. Piles of boxes were still scattered everywhere, and spider webs filled the corners of the dingy room. Mio shivered when she glanced at the webs. Maybe she should have brought Ritsu with her.

Why didn't she feel afraid at all when she came here with Ritsu back then...?

She shook her head and headed to the nearest box, determined to clean the house for real this time.

It seemed to be filled to the rim with random magazines.

Feeling that she should throw the outdated stuff away, Mio pulled out the magazines and stacked them on the dusty floor.

That was when she noticed there was something left at the bottom of the box.

It was a small worn-out piece of paper.

Out of sheer curiosity, Mio picked it up and examined it.

Her eyes widened in shock.

It could be any random writing.

Of all the papers she could find in that whole house, it had to be that one.

She read it again before crumpling it in her shaky hand.

"Kyoto Women's University General Online Forum Student Account

Megumi Sokabe Ayame Yoshida

Username: a151

Password: akiyamamio"

Some things were better left unsaid.

Because when the time came for you to finally find out the truth, you might regret ever knowing it.

That was one of the things that Ritsu believed, as she stood firmly in front of Ayame's grave.

"So..." she said calmly, "This is the first time we met face to face since that time, huh?"

It felt like it happened a long, long time ago.

"Yoshida...Mio is much stronger than you thought," she said again, "But you were right about a few things. She still loves you, and she still feels so guilty about your death."

"I don't love her."

Ritsu was astonished when she realized that someone was standing behind her.

Mio's voice was several pitches higher than usual, and she was clearly crying.

"Why did I know..." her voice cracked, "...that I can find you here...when I didn't see you in the dorm..."

"Mio...what..."

"How do you own Ayame's account...?" she asked dangerously, "You knew her. You knew her before we met and yet you...you..."

Ritsu's eyes dilated with fear.

"Explain to me now! !" she screamed as she threw the crumpled piece of paper to Ritsu's feet, "Explain to me! Ritsu! !"

Sometimes Ritsu thought, if they had met in any other way, they could become good friends.

However, Ritsu Tainaka and Ayame Yoshida were far from that.

They could be called acquaintances, as they were acquainted through competitions.

Although she had watched Ayame perform with her band many times, she hardly knew anything about the drummer. They just often bumped into each other with the subtle air of rivalry between them.

Then the inevitable happened.

In a certain popularity contest, their bands won the same number of votes, and it dashed all of their chances to ever befriend each other properly.

Ever since that day, their encounters were filled with nothing but conflicts and arguments.

Their silent rivalry suddenly sparked into a full on collision.

Ritsu didn't mean it to turn out that way.

However, one day both of them really lost it and they began shouting meaningless things at each other. Ritsu didn't really remember what happened, but after that she vowed to find out the other girl's dirtiest, darkest secret.

When she found out that Ayame was dating a girl, her anger slightly diminished. But Ayame didn't take it lightly.

"...Since when did you know that?"

She played nervously with her new diamante earrings as she watched the snow fall.

Ritsu knew what they were from her conversation with her band mates.

They were presents from Mio, her girlfriend.

"What's your problem?" Ritsu said, "We're on the same boat since we like girls."

"You never change, huh?" Ayame said, clenching her fists, "Ritsu Tainaka, the drummer who refuses to be dictated to by anyone."

"A better drummer than you are," Ritsu said with a smirk.

"Shut it," Ayame snapped.

"Bring it on, Yoshida," Ritsu said, slamming her fist on the cold handrail, "What can a pussy like you do?"

Ritsu almost lost her balance when Ayame suddenly dashed forward and grabbed her by the collar.

"You remember this..." she said threateningly, "I'm going to beat you in that competition. I'm going to beat you no matter what!"

"Oh, so terrifying," Ritsu hissed, "I heard you've been playing badly these days. I'm sure you can beat me with such progress."

"You...fucking piece of..."

Ritsu slipped away from her grip just before Ayame's knuckles hit her cheek. She glared at Ayame.

"That's right, Yoshida. I'm going to win our competition this time. You know what? For me you're always nothing but a sore loser. I can surpass you, I can win this competition, I can be what you want..."

"Tainaka...you..." Ayame's face was crimson with anger.

"Ah, and who knows, maybe I can take your chick, too?"

That was the last straw for Ayame.

Ritsu felt Ayame's hand made contact with her face. They would have surely fallen from the stairs if people nearby didn't hear their brawl and rushed in to stop them.

At that time, Ritsu felt so satisfied, watching Ayame being dragged by Akira and Sachi while calling Ritsu names all the way down the stairs.

However, less than two weeks later, she received news that Ayame was hospitalized.

She had been pushing herself too hard for the competition, and when she was found collapsed on her way to the mart, it was already too late.

She couldn't move her feet anymore.

If she didn't die, she would have to spend the rest of her life on a wheelchair.

It was when Ritsu realized how powerful words really were.

Her provocation had given Ayame a permanent disability.

At first, Ritsu dismissed her guilt by assuring herself that it was Ayame's fault for not caring about her own health, but it didn't make her feel much better.

Then she accidentally found out from Nodoka that Mio Akiyama would be moving to her dorm.

After thinking about it for several days, Ritsu decided that she ought to visit Ayame at least once.

Unsurprisingly, she was not welcomed at all.

"Do you expect me to thank you or worship you?"

"Give me a break. If you didn't stop punching me back then, I would be lying down next to you right now with a slipped disc," Ritsu said with a disconcerted tone.

Ayame gave her a look that Ritsu could only decipher as a mixture of discontentment and disgust. "Are you happy now?" she said angrily, "You really won. Everything."

Several uncomfortable seconds passed before Ritsu said, "...I found out that your girlfriend's going to stay in my dorm."

Ayame turned to her quickly. "Are you a student of Kyoto University...?" she asked.

"No, Kyoto Women's University," she said, looking back at her with a cold stare, "Could you explain this to me? I thought your girlfriend is studying in England."

"She's an idiot. She wants to move back here so she's closer to me," Ayame sighed. She looked even more sickly than before. "That means your university is her second choice university."

"Is her first choice Kyoto University?" Ritsu guessed.

"Yeah..." she said immediately, "She said she'll find a way to cure my illness no matter what."

"Oh," Ritsu said, "Don't tell me she..."

They exchanged glances.

"What do you think?" Ayame said with a shrug, "She wants to be a doctor all of a sudden."

Ritsu looked at the infusion bags around her. "...Is your illness incurable?"

Ayame stared at the ceiling. "I'll be honest," she said, "This time, I am surely going to die."

Ritsu blinked. "Why tell me then?"

"That girl will surely think it's her fault," she said, resting her hands over her forehead, "Then she'll have a hard time moving on... because I'm sure she'll keep thinking about me for God knows how long."

Ritsu didn't really like the sound of this. "Get to the point, Yoshida."

"I've written a letter in case stuff like this happens," she said, reaching for a small piece of paper from her pocket, "Can you give this to her when she comes to your dorm?"

"When she comes to my dorm...?" Ritsu asked sharply, "But you..."

She stopped abruptly when she looked into Ayame's solemn eyes.

She knew it would come.

She knew it better than anyone.

Ritsu gulped and said, "...Does she know about me?"

"Not in the slightest," Ayame said with a small voice, "I have this bad habit of not telling her about these kinds of stuff that I hate, you know?"

"If you hate me so much, then why do you trust me to do this?" Ritsu asked.

Ayame stared at her helplessly. "I don't know..." she replied, "Probably because we have a lot of things in common...?"

Ritsu squeezed her eyes closed. "I don't want...If you ever think you resemble me in any way..."

However, Ayame had shoved the letter to Ritsu's hands. She opened it unwillingly and read it.

"...An affair?" Ritsu said.

"Anything to make that girl forget about me," Ayame said softly, "I don't know if she'll kill herself this time or not, but I don't want that to happen."

Ritsu eyed her curiously.

"If our positions were reversed, Tainaka, I wouldn't come visit you like this," she said, "You might be a better person than I expected."

"I take that as an insult," Ritsu mumbled.

"Can you do one more thing for me?" she asked weakly, "Do you know Megumi Sokabe?"

Ritsu flinched.

"...The girl who two years ago dropped out of my university because of an anti-gay hate crime."

Ayame nodded. "Yeah, but she left me her student account, which is still active online," she said, "She told me to try to do something, so I did. I'm a151."

Ritsu couldn't believe her ears.

"There are still a lot of people in your university who need a little push," she said, "The password is her name. Take care of them for me, okay?"

Ritsu took a step back from her.

Ayame gave her a faint smile. "Perhaps you can take care of Mio, too," she said.

Ritsu's eyes widened. "What the fuck are you..."

"Take it as my last request?" she said as her voice died away.

She never got to hear Ritsu's reply.

Several doctors suddenly came and sent her out of the room.

When she heard how they started shouting for nurses to come and help, she finally realized that those were the last words she would ever hear from Ayame Yoshida.

"...Then she fell into a coma...and you know what happened next..." Ritsu let out a heavy sigh. "I didn't come to her funeral. I got close with Akira and Sachi after meeting them in a bar a few times after that. Akira obviously never told you, either."

Tears were streaming down Mio's face. "...Why did you...why did you hide..."

"Because I'm a piece of shit, Mio," Ritsu said sadly, "I thought about it for days and days before deciding that I would do what she told me to. I picked up her account, and I handed you the letter. But when I saw you still thinking about her... I realized that I still hate everything about her. That hatred won. I want you to think badly of her. I want you to forget her. Not because of her request to me, but because I just hate how everyone keeps thinking about her...comparing me to her even after she's dead."

Mio felt her head spun as the message truly sank in.

"...It's terrible, isn't it?" Ritsu continued, "After some time, I became attracted to you, but my feelings were still terrible as ever. I became jealous, so jealous of her that I forgot about your feelings. I didn't take care of you like I'm supposed to."

"I'm...it's not entirely your fault..." Mio said, shaking her head.

"That's why I'm going to go," she said, placing her hands on Mio's shoulder, "I'm not going away forever. I just need some time alone. I'll be back when we have both straightened out our feelings."

"But I don't want you to go," Mio cried, "I don't care. I don't know what I feel anymore."

She should be angry.

She should stop meeting Ritsu.

But she didn't want either of those at all.

Ritsu walked closer to her and pulled her into an embrace.

Mio stared at her in shock, but she didn't push her away.

"I won't die like her," Ritsu said, "And I will definitely go back to you."

Ritsu let her go and wiped her tears with her hands.

"So can I say this properly before I go...?" she said, "...I love you, Mio."

Mio stared at those gleaming hazel eyes. Ritsu had always been so careless and indiscreet about everything, but this was the first time Mio realized how much she loved that part about her.

"...You'll be back?"

"How many times do I have to say it?" Ritsu said, ruffling her hair, "When I go back, it's your turn to say it properly."

They gazed at each other and laughed heartily.

At that time, Mio's heart was filled with disbelief of everything that just happened.

However, she knew she had to suspend her disbelief just this once, and appreciate what her life had become.

That chance to start over was finally here at last.

Mio,

There were so many things in this world that made you doubt that a happy ending even exists at all.

Sometimes you felt like you never deserved one.

Or sometimes you felt like you deserved one, but life never did.

And you just knew that you would die alone, sad, and lonely.

Yet you stood up, ignored your wounds, and walked forward.

You knew life would kick you to the ground again, but you still stood up anyway.

Because you didn't know what exactly lay in the future.

It could be miserable for all you cared, but you still didn't know.

There is always a chance to get over the things that you have done.

There might be someone who ends up needing you more than anyone else.

There might be something that you can pour yourself into.

There might be some way to create your own happy ending.

It could be somewhere out there, or it might already be there in front of you all along.

One day you would realize that you could find something to die for.

I was worried that you would never understand that, but then I saw your beaming face as you threw yourself to Tainaka's arms and said, "Welcome back, Ritsu...I love you."

I found myself smiling.

There is still a long way ahead of you before you can come to this place.

And okay, she can have you now, but I still know you better.

When you have a daughter, her name will definitely be Ayame, right?

I'm just awesome like that.

The End.

A/N: With this chapter the story of "Daredevil" came to a close. The story of Mitsu in this AU might continue in a separate sequel, but it's still in the planning stage. Thank you for reading this far everyone, comments and reviews are welcomed!