Disclaimer: I don't own Warehouse 13 or any of its characters, I simply play!
Summary: Direct follow up on episode 6 "Don't hate the player"! The night the team returns, Claudia can't sleep and Artie comforts her! This wouldn't leave me alone, until I had satisfied my muse, so here it is^^
Warnings: Some swearing, but I kept it mild.
And now, enjoy! BTW, first Warehouse fanfiction, so be nice in comments, though constructive critisism is always welcome. Just don't forget to push that little green button below^^ Spelling errors found may be kept, as English is not my native tongue...
Resonating affections
The night lay deep and silent over Leena's Bed and Breakfast as Claudia snuck out of her room. After today's experience within Fargo's little videogame, she did not really feel like having company. Seeing that doctor again, having him tell her that she's been deluded and insane enough to imagine her life hurt so much. She had those feelings bottled up when she left the institution and had acted as if nothing bad had happened while she had been there. Not even Artie knew what went on behind those walls. Not that she would tell him any time soon. He would be concerned, perhaps even worried, and as endearing as Artie was when he was going all parental concern on her, if he did that tonight she wouldn't be able to maintain those walls she had so carefully erected around herself. In that one moment, inside that game, she had feared that it WAS true, that she had been imagining all those wonderful and amazing changes in her life. That she had imagined the people that she loved so much; Pete and Myka, who were almost like siblings, Jinks, who was her best friend (in truth the only friend she could remember ever having). And Artie, who was so much like a father to her that it scared her sometimes. Though he was completely clueless about what he should or should not do or say, he always managed to help her somehow. He told her he was proud of her and that second she felt like crying out of joy. Artie was proud of her. But then again, Claudia hadn't told him everything yet. They had a good and trusting relationship, but she was far away from actually confiding into him all the conflicting feelings in the loony bin or the experiences in those foster families she had been rushed through. Couldn't tell him what had happened.
And that made her so very sad.
Sad enough in fact to sneak through the B&B at night, while everyone else was sleeping to find some sort of consolation, some semblance of peace, that her room could not give her. It felt tiny, as if it was crushing her slowly, so dreadfully slowly, which was why she had gotten up and went towards the kitchen, having a sudden craving for cookies.
As she came down the stairs and took a quick glance around (more out of bad habit than actual paranoia, she hadn't been around Artie THAT long for paranoia to rub off on her), she spotted the piano in the sitting room. "Glucky", as Artie's father had called it.
Stealing another glance upstairs and keeping her ears poised for some sort of movement that would tell the redhead that anyone besides her was awake, and upon hearing nothing, she quickly stole over to the piano. Claudia smiled as she remembered that picture of Artie sitting on that piano when he was a child, so full of smiles and without a care in the world. Sometimes, when he played, she listened in on him, creeping glances through the door or the windows at the office and he always seemed to lose himself in the music completely, even when he was writing on that Nocturne for his dad. He seemed so different then, so calm, and strangely, so very happy.
Acting more on impulse than coherent thought, she sat down on the small bench and lifted the heavy brown lid. The keys shone almost out in the darkness of the room and she stroked them kindly. Surely if Artie knew that she had secretly taught herself how to play a piano, he would have one of his mini-strokes again because he would be utterly confused at why she would do such a thing. True, the guitar was her one and true beloved musical instrument, but something about the way Artie played made her want to learn it too, so she had bought herself a self-teaching book and had practised on Artie's keyboard or here, when she knew that no one else was around to actually tell him.
And before she could rethink her actions, she lifted her hands and began stroking the keys of Artie's, her surrogate dad's; piano, instantly feeling calmer while the mournful music floated through her.
Though it was way past midnight, Artie couldn't bring himself to sleep. Something had been off with Claudia today, ever since she, Myka and Pete had returned (besides the fact that Pete stared at his eyebrows more than usual) from saving Eureka's top geek. Idiotic kid, inventing a videogame using an artifact!
But still, Claudia had been different, sometimes she had zoned off during dinner, looking as if she was miles away in her own imagination. Myka hadn't told him what had happened inside the game (probably Claudia had asked her to), but the girl, woman, that had sat at the table staring into space was so far away from the Claudia he knew, that he had begun to worry. He had asked her, but she had brushed it off in true "Claudia" fashion, so brusquely and quickly, giving some witty remark about how he was slowly disintegrating into a Mother hen, that he hadn't pressed the issue. If Claudia was ready, she would tell him of her own accord, he knew that much.
And yet that nagging worry that had eaten at him since he first spotted that faraway look in her eyes, had only increased as she had left immediately after dinner to bury herself in her room. That also was out of character for her and it had served to make sleep elude Artie for the time being. And as it was, he suspected that he would be thinking about this for an indeterminable time too. Not even the book he tried to read could distract him from his concerned thoughts about his surrogate daughter for long.
Claudia had become such a massive part on his life, she depended on him somehow and for some odd reason he couldn't yet figure out, she had fixed the "father-figure" on him. And even stranger still, the more time had passed since she had stormed into his office and kidnapped him, the more he had come to care for her. He could still recall that deathly cold stab of fear, when he had heard the banging SOS in his office, while she was stuck to the ceiling of the Warehouse, wearing Volta's lab coat. Every sense of reason that he had maintained for so long had left him, leaving him to shout at the top of his voice for the girl, hoping he would hear her answer. Or the moment she almost cried after he had been hurt in the confrontation with H.G. Wells, trying valiantly to hold the tears (and the terror that came with them) at bay, almost hurt more than the wound did. She had thought she'd lose him. Like she had lost so many people before.
Just when he was about ready to finally give up and go hunt some cookies down (possibly along with some warm milk to make him feel sleepy), he heard a floorboard creak. Instantly his senses were all on alert and he crept to the door, putting on a dressing gown on the way. When he opened the door a fraction and peered down the dark corridor though, all he could see was the skinny shape of Claudia sneaking through the hallway.
What the hell is she doing up, she should be sleeping by now...
Grinning at the fact that he was indeed worrying to much, he closed the door again and thought about what he should do now. He could follow her (doubtless she was on her way to the kitchen, possibly with the same plan he had hatched a few seconds ago) and ask her if she wanted to talk to him about what was keeping her up. Or he could ignore it, wait for a while until he heard her come back up and ask her tomorrow, whenever there was a quiet moment. If there ever had been such a thing in the Warehouse.
Fighting indesicion for a few seconds, his massive intellect conjuring up countless conversation starters and discarding them all, he finally quieted his brain and let instinct help him with this. He opened the door and silently followed Claudia down the hall. When he reached the end of the stairs himself, he could see that she had not gone into the kitchen, as he had suspected, but was standing by his old piano; a gentle, but lost smile on her lips. She seemed oblivious to the world around her, was just staring at the old instrument which she had gone so many trouble through locating; so Artie crept a little closer, using the doorframe to hide him from sight for the time being. He didn't want to startle her, neither did he want to seem like he was deliberately sneaking up on her (which, by all accounts, he actually did just now), but he wanted to observe her for a moment. Perhaps he could figure out then why she seemed so different today. As he watched her sit down on the bench and lift the lid, his brow creased in confusion. She couldn't play the thing, could she? And if she could, why didn't he know about it? It wasn't as if she spent a lot of time on her own to practise anyway. And as far as he knew, she liked her guitar better than the piano anyway. How often had she snarked upon him playing, saying it was "Geezer-music"?
Surprised and more than a little stunned Artie watched her hands travel on top of the keys, and as soon as she pressed the first key and quietly started a tune, his own experience told him that she was a naturally gifted musician.
The piece was slow and calm, one that he hadn't heard before, which either meant that it was a newly written piece or that (though that seemed just a little far-fetched) she had written it herself. But then again, until just now he hadn't even known she could play, it was reasonable to assume that her ingenuity had compelled her to write her own music. It was a beautiful piece, so calming, but also so very sad. As if she wanted to make the sadness in herself dissapear just by stroking the keys of the piano. A technique he knew worked well, he himself had done it more times than he could count.
Keeping his eyes trained on the young woman, this young woman who had taken it upon herself to smash through his defensive walls, he could see from her closed eyes that she was completely immersed within the music. For a moment he lost himself in the music and in watching his surrogate (oh heck screw the "surrogate"!), his daughter; he almost flinched when he heard a quiet sniffle along with a wrong key. Abruptly the music stopped as he saw a tear escape her tightly shut lids. It was always disturbing to see her distraught, but Artie couldn't recall any time he had actually seen her cry. On the verge of tears, yes, but never actually crying. The sight of it struck a chord in his own heart and he couldn't remain standing in the doorway any longer.
"Claudia?" he asked quietly, but made sure he wouldn't startle her too badly.
As expected, she scrubbed at her eyes instantly, wiping the tears away and turned her head towards him without saying a word. But Artie hadn't missed the subtle twitch in her shoulders nor the sniffle she tried so hard to conceal. Again, instinct overruled logical thought and he crossed the room to it next to her, sharing the narrow piece of furniture.
"Thought you'd be deeply snoring by now, Geezer." she said hoarsely, trying to hold up the illusion that she was fine. But even his limited ability in dealing with emotions could see that she was far, far away from fine.
"Turns out I wasn't the only one not sleeping tonight. Wanna tell me whats wrong, Claud?" he asked her, deliberately using her pet-name, making her understand that he was worried about her, really worried about her. Seeing her shrug defensively, he continued calmly.
"Look, even I can see something's off. And I bet it has something to do with whatever happened in that game of Fargo's. So, what is it that makes you sit and play the piano tonight?"
For a moment he thought that another brush-off would be forthcoming, that she would get into a huff and storm back up into her room, refusing him to help her somehow. But then her shoulders slumped again and a new tear trailed down her pale cheek. Just then, Artie also recognized how pale the kid really was, in truth she looked unhealthy in a way.
Claudia's lip quivered helplessly, as she fought hard to remain in control of herself, but his honest concern for her well-being made that almost impossible. Artie was worried about her, he cared about her. He was real and he cared about her, even if she slowly drove him mad. And suddenly, everything simply poured out of her, the whole thing that had happened in the game, the moment when she had seen the doctor again, when he had told her she suffered from delusions and was imagining her whole life basically.
"And the worst thing was, when I was actually in the loony bin, it was like that. Minus the shocktherapy, but still. They kept telling me that Joshua was dead, that I imagined everything else. That seeing Joshua was part of my delusional world-view at that point and you know what? For a while I actually believed them. I mean, they were doctors, they had to be right in my book. And when they said that I was insane enough to imagine my brother visiting me, that maybe I really did belong in the nuthatch. And today, it was all that, only much worse. He said that none of you were real, that I just imagined everything. Only I didn't want to imagine you guys and I was so scared that maybe it was the truth."
Artie watched in horrified silence as she broke down completely, hiding her crying face in her hands while her shoulders shook violently. Oh, he'd have a word with that doctor soon! To make her feel so insane, so unworthy, so helpless. And he also wondered if she had really been strapped to a bed just like she had told him she had been in the game. And if she was, God help that doctor, because Artie would make sure he never got a job as a doctor again! Let alone walk!
Shifting his focus back to the weeping girl next to him, who suddenly seemed more like a scared child again, her terribly skinny figure heaving and trembling in the wake of her fears, he gently laid a comforting hand to her shoulder. That simply gesture, meant more to calm than to encourage, had a startling effect of Claudia. One second she was sitting next to him crying and the next moment she had thrown her arms around his not inconsiderable waist and had her face pressed against his shoulder. Not knowing what else to do, he wrapped his arms around her thin shoulders and rubbed gentle circles on her back. Simply allowing her to let it all out seemed like the best option at this point.
She was distraught and scared and he felt his protective nature kick into life. As she cried at his chest, simply trusting him for this one moment to be there and hold her, he hated the whole world for what it had done to Claudia Donovan. To his Claudia. She always seemed so strong, so focussed and so utterly convinced that she could kick the world's ass. But one doctor was all it had taken to rattle her cage and shake her up so completely that she felt so very insecure and ended up crying in his arms.
Automatically he started to gently rock her, not realizing that he did, while stroking the tussle of red hair sprawled around her head. The motion felt so natural that he scarcely knew he was doing anything. Claudia needed comfort, that was all his brain could process at the moment, besides the burning wish to tesla that doc out of his own mind.
How long they sat like that he had no idea, her huddled into his chest, clinging to him as if he were the only place she felt safe for the moment and Artie sitting and holding her and stroking her hair comfortingly, but eventually the choking sobs subsided and her breathing evened out. Thankfully the death-grip she had maintained lessened also. After another small while, she sniffed and sat up, slowly though and carefully avoiding to look at him.
Still keeping a hand on her bony shoulder, Artie looked into her face, partly hidden behind a thin veil of red hair and smiled at her. He knew, even with her looking shamefully down, she knew he didn't resent her the emotinal outbreak.
"Feeling a little better?" he asked gently, while tucking some hair behind her ear. Another of those fatherly gestures, he admitted. Not that he cared about that at the moment, but it was a thing that registered in his brain.
"Little. Not much, but some. Sorry for being all weepy here." Claudia said, still with a slight tremor in her voice.
"Oh, no worries there, kiddo. As long as you feel better, who cares that you ruined my dressing gown?" Artie asked smirking, making sure she looked at him and undersood that he was joking with her. The answering grin he received ceased some of the worry somewhere within him. She did feel better and she got the joke, that was definitely an improvement.
Claudia wiped her face, turning back to the piano for a moment, and once more stroking over the old keys, without pressing one though.
"I didn't know you played. Why haven't you said something?" he asked puzzled, glad for the more conversational topic other than her past.
"Didn't want you to know. Taught myself a couple of months ago." she answered shrugging slightly, again avoiding to look at Artie.
"You... you taught yourself? Why didn't you want me to know that? 'Cause you're real good, kid."
Hearing her scoff slightly while she shook her head, he realized she didn't believe him one tiny bit.
"I'm serious, Claudia. You're really good. I ... I mean, you know, I knew you played that guitar pretty well, but I didn't realize you played any instrument besides that."
"I know. I played when you guys were out or in the warehouse, when no one was there, you know? It's silly, really. It's just, you always seem so calm when you play a tune and ..." trailing off, she caught herself, but Artie could guess the rest.
Not only had she snuck up on him when he had played before, she had learned it because HE played. Feeling the soft spot he had for this kid grow and expand even more than it already had, he smiled at her, for the moment at a loss for words. She emulated him. And that thought made him suddenly feel very proud that she had chosen him as her father figure, even though they had never talked about it before. It was always something that went on without questioning, something that had happened without either of them realizing it. Somewhere along the way he had become her father and she had become his daughter. He couldn't imagine his life without her anymore and he wanted nothing more than to have her safe and protected and feel loved.
"So, you're not mad at me?" her question yanked him out of his thoughts and he turned a deeply puzzled expression towards her.
"Why? No, why? No, 'course not." he stumbled along his line of thought, more or less holding onto the topic. For a moment she huffed a chuckle, before her eyes turned serious again.
"Because I was playing at your piano and I know how much it means to you. I mean, your dad told me all about it and that it was a gift from him, so I should probably not play it without asking you and you know..." she was getting all worked up over this, Artie observed. She seemed on the verge of a panic attack, but as to why she would think he'd be angry with her for playing his old piano, he took a moment to understand before stopping her before she could faint from non-breathing.
"Claudia, listen. You're right, my dad gave me this piano when I was a kid. But that doesn't mean that only I am allowed to play on it, okay? Besides, ..."
What 'besides'?
He faltered for a moment and looked at the woman sitting next to him. And in a flash, he understood what he had to do. It was just the problem of voicing it without having her confused or him fumbling.
"Besides, as it turns out, we've each adopted the other in a weird kind of way and you know that I like you very much and care about you a great deal, right kiddo? Good, 'cause you know, since my dad gifted me with this piano, I want you to have it now."
Ohh, that sounded a lot better in my head...
Seeing Claudia's eyes grow wider though, he could see she got the gist of it. He had it from his father and he wanted to give it to his daughter now. Strange present, but that was usual with both of them. He had given her Farnsworth's Farnsworth, as Pete so accurately said, gifting her with a piano wasn't much stranger.
After a moment, during which none of them said anything, just looking into each others eyes, a smile blossomed on Claudia's face and he could see that for now at least some of her worries were quieted. Not all, but that was a topic for another night.
"Thank you Artie." Claudia almost whispered, deeply touched by his gift and leaned her head on his shoulder once more.
"You're welcome. Now perhaps you can explain to me why Pete was staring at my eyebrows all evening?" he asked and watched her trying to repress a giggle. Just then, Artie judged that he'd probably kill Fargo, because it sure as hell had something to do with that damn game of his.
So it came that when one week later Leena dusted through the B&B, while everyone was out working, she lifted the top lid on Artie's old piano and saw not only his old set of initials, but a second set next to them. Remembering that originally it had only Artie's initials scratched into it, she frowned. Interested she put her dustrag down and looked at the fresh marks in the old wood. And smiled.
C.D.
The End
So, now there's only one thing left to do for you. Push that green button below and tell me what you think of it, okay? I love feedback so much and it would greatly help me to figure out if this was any good or not. But remember, non-native English person here, and first Warehouse fanfiction, so be kind, okay?
Callie
