A/N: Yes, a new chapter! Don't forget to review at the end of the chapter and give me your thoughts about the story or the chapter. As the writer, I really need to know what my readers feel about my story.
Kathy is the best and fastest beta in the fic world!
Ron was preparing lunch with Claire in the kitchen. Much to Ron's dismay, Claire insisted on not staying in the bed and kept pestering him with questions about Hermione.
"Are you going to keep bugging me about Hermione?" he sighed as he took one more look at the oven.
"You are the one who helped her move in and you are the one who agreed to have dinner with her. I'm just trying to see why," Claire said fake-innocently.
"Yes, and I'm the one that in both cases regretted it, okay?"
"Save your bollocks for someone else, Ron. I know you too well," Claire said meaningfully.
Ron rested his hands on the sink and sighed again. "If you know me so well as you're saying, then you would know that when I'm saying to stop buggering me about it. I mean it."
"Of course, you do," Claire said, shaking her head in amusement.
"What should I wear? Casual or something more formal?" she asked as she sat on a chair causing Ron to look puzzled for a moment. "I mean what I should wear to Hermione's dinner. I am coming, right?"
Ron rolled his eyes in annoyance. The last thing he wanted when he plead the doctors to let Claire come home for a few days, was to spend any time with Hermione. All he wanted was to spend a weekend as a family with her and Hannah, but he couldn't and, more importantly, didn't want to argue with Claire.
"Of course, you're coming, Claire."
"I'm so excited to meet her!" Claire exclaimed in genuine anticipation.
"Why is that?" Ron asked raising an eyebrow although he knew the answer pretty well.
"You know very well why and stop playing dumb with me, Ron," replied Claire giving him a meaningful look.
"You are the dumb one right now, Claire, for believing that Hermione and I-" the alarm clock rang interrupting him. "It's time to pick up Hannah from school," Ron announced.
"Alright, I'm going to wait for her in her room. I want to surprise her," Claire said and ran to hide in excitement.
Ten minutes later, Ron opened the door scolding Hannah for her outfit.
"I've told you so many times that you must wear your jumper! Do you know how easy it is to catch a cold?"
"It's too hot, Dad! All the other kids are wearing only a shirt."
"I don't care what other kids do. If all the kids jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?"
"Why are you always asking me what I would do if the other kids jump off a cliff? No, I wouldn't jump! I would die if I did!"
"Exactly my point, Hannah. Besides, it's still March, not summer."
"Fine, Daddy. I promise I'm going to wear my jumper from now on," said the defeated little girl and Ron smiled in triumph.
"That's my girl," he said kissing her forehead. "Now go to your room. I have a surprise there waiting for you," Ron said smiling and Hannah's eyes widened in excitement.
"Leo?"
Ron shook his head. "No, it's something with fewer whiskers. Just go and see."
Hannah ran to her room and it wasn't long before she screamed in delight. "Mommy!"
Hermione was starting to think that inviting Ron and Hannah to dinner wasn't the best idea, considering that she was dreadful at cooking. She began cooking a roast, but the smell was too horrible and she wasn't brave enough to taste it. She considered if she would have better luck with pasta but in the end, she just ordered a few pizzas. She wasn't sure if Ron was letting Hannah eat junk food, but one time wouldn't hurt, she thought.
Standing in front of her mirror, she was debating whether her outfit was too much or not. She knew it was just a casual dinner and nothing fancy, but she was the hostess and she had to be at least presentable. She only hoped that Ron wouldn't think she overdressed with her knee length skirt and her favourite orange one-shoulder shirt.
The doorbell rang and Hermione walked through the door. She took a very deep breath, wore the most casual expression she could muster ignoring that her heart was beating like crazy, and opened the door. To her surprise though, it wasn't Ron's face she saw. It was a woman's face - Claire's face.
"Hi, you must be Hermione!" Claire introduced herself giving a stunned Hermione a quick hug. "I'm Claire."
Claire. She was more beautiful than she had originally thought. She barely could see her that time in the hospital but now, from this close, Hermione could see her gorgeous, but also afflicted face. Even her blonde wig looked amazing on her. Her lovely smile and her kind, beautiful green eyes were doing a great job at hiding it, but Hermione could see that behind them she was a woman who had gone through a lot and still was.
She must have been staring for a while before she regained control of herself and gave Claire a handshake. "Hmm, nice to meet you."
"You weren't expecting me, were you?" Claire smiled walking inside the house followed by Hannah and lastly by Ron.
"Hi, Hermione," said Ron with what looked like a forced attempt at a smile.
"Hey," Hermione said, ignoring the pain that Ron couldn't even greet her without an effort.
Hermione closed the door with a heavy sigh at this. She saw Ron quickly going to sit in the living room while the girls were exploring the house. "This is a lovely place you have here, Hermione. So many books! Have you read them all?" Claire asked in amazement and curiosity.
"Not all of them, but I'm planning too," said Hermione awkwardly, trying to come to terms with the fact that she was talking with Ron's wife.
"You must be very smart!" Claire praised her and Hermione blushed at the honesty of Claire's words.
Her eyes instinctively searched Ron and that pang of guilt hit her again. She wanted to laugh at the irony of Claire's statement. She wasn't smart. She was the dumbest girl in the world for letting Ron go.
"Look, Daddy. There is a picture of you with Hermione," Hannah exclaimed pointing to a muggle picture of Harry, Ron and Hermione that was taken when the three had spent a weekend in Hermione's house after the War had ended.
"Who is that boy with the glasses?" asked Hannah in curiosity.
Hermione was ready to answer but Ron had already moved from the couch and was standing next to Hannah. "This is Harry. Harry, Hermione and I were best friends at school," said Ron.
Another stab to Hermione's heart. Were best friends, not are.
"No way!" said Hannah in astonishment.
"Yes, it's true; ask Hermione if you don't believe me."
Hannah turned to Hermione and she nodded. "Your father is telling you the truth. We met the first day of school and despite our… initial dislike of each other, we found some common ground and started to be friends. It didn't take long after that to become best friends."
"Why are-," Hannah began asking what Hermione assumed would be a questions about why they are not friends anymore, but Ron interrupted her.
"Is the food ready?" he asked, obviously trying to change the subject.
"Why am I not surprised you're hungry?" Claire joked. "Honestly, Hermione. It's a good thing he's an athlete and gets some exercise because you wouldn't believe the amount of food he eats!"
"Trust me I know," said Hermione with a sad smile. How couldn't she remember all the times that Ron put food above anything else or the times he sneaked into the Hogwarts kitchen for some extra snacks?
The dinner was as awkward as Hermione imagined it would be. Ron barely uttered a word the whole time, while Hannah had no interest in food and went to the living room and kept looking at a photo album that had Hermione's pictures with Crookshanks and another photo album with muggle photos of Hermione, Ron and Harry.
Claire on the other hand was another issue all together. She couldn't stop addressing questions to Hermione about every little detail in her life. A part of Hermione was wondering if she was doing it on purpose, so Ron could hear the answers.
Hermione tried and succeeded to a large extent in not revealing anything she wasn't comfortable enough to talk about in front of Ron, but overall she had a great chat with Claire.
When the time to say goodnight came, Ron just gave Hermione a handshake and a forced smile before walking to the door waiting for Claire and Hannah to bid their goodnights. Again, Hermione's heart broke.
"Goodnight Hermione!" Hannah exclaimed before jumping to give her a kiss.
"Goodnight sweetie," Hermione said shaking herself from the previous feeling and enjoying this small act of love from the little girl.
"Listen, baby. You'll go home with Daddy to take a bath and then I'll come to read you a story," Claire said kissing her daughter on the forehead.
"Will you sleep with me?" Hannah pleaded.
"Of course, I will. I just need to ask Hermione something and I'll come straight to your room." Again, Claire kissed her daughter affectionally before urging her to follow Ron.
Ron for his part just snorted and rolled his eyes at Claire's actions. He had no idea what she wanted to talk with Hermione but he knew it had to do with him. He bit his tongue from saying anything and he simply took Hannah by the hand and left the house, without sparing a last glance at Hermione.
"What do you want, Hermione Granger?" Claire immediately asked once the front door closed behind Ron. "Sorry for being so straightforward, but as you know I don't have the luxury of time and I don't plan on wasting it trying to be subtle. So I'm asking you again. What do you want, Hermione Granger?"
Hermione couldn't pretend she didn't understand what Claire meant by that question. She wasn't prepared for that, to open her heart to a stranger and to Ron's wife no less, but since she was practically forcing herself into their lives, she owed Claire some explanations. She had no idea what Ron had told her about their past or their interactions a few days earlier, but something was telling her that Ron kept no secrets from Claire.
She walked to the living room and sat on the couch. Claire followed her and sat down next to her, her intense gaze never leaving her face.
"I made some bad decisions in the past and I lost everything. I just want to start making the right decisions now," Hermione said with a broken voice, avoiding any eye contact.
"You still love him." It wasn't a question, but a statement from Claire.
Hermione kept her gaze on the floor. How could she really look Ron's wife in the eyes and confirm that she still had feelings for him? It didn't matter though, 'cause Claire didn't wait for a reply.
"I was there you know; that day… that Valentine's Day that you broke up with him. He slept on my couch, emptying all my bourbon bottles into his stomach. He threw up a couple of times on my carpet actually. Thank God you wizards can clean everything with a flick of a wand otherwise I'd have had to make him buy me a new one," she joked but Hermione was too shocked with the revelation to consider cracking a smile.
"I didn't know you two knew each other before," she said, trying to figure out what that meant. Why had Ron never mentioned her before was the one thing that she needed to know.
"What exactly do you know about me and Ron?" Claire asked her.
"You two are married and have a daughter. And now I just learned that you two knew each other while we were still dating."
It was hypocritical on her part, but she couldn't help the slight feeling of betrayal by Ron. For all she knew, he and Claire could have had an affair behind her back, while they were still together. Otherwise, why would Ron keep his friendship with her a secret?
"One day my late husband Travis brought Ron home for dinner. I'd never seen a man eating like that in my life. But he had something special about him. He was funny and polite, and Travis really liked him and that was rare because he didn't make friends easily. Actually Ron was his only friend, and in time, he became my friend too."
"You were married before?" Hermione asked, not believing what she was hearing. She remembered someone named Travis that was Ron's boss or one of his bosses anyway, but she never knew that Ron hung out with him.
"Let me finish and you'll learn everything," Claire smiled at her and still shocked, Hermione nodded.
"Ron told us all about you and your adventures with Harry Potter. We were really looking forward to meeting you but you were at school and there was never enough time to arrange a meeting. Now, forgive me but I'm not a witch, so I don't really remember much about all the stories he told me of you three, but I do remember that every time he mentioned your name, his face lit up and he seemed proud that you were his girlfriend. I knew that he could never love anyone more than he loved you."
Hermione didn't want to hear that. It only made her guilt worse.
"So imagine my surprise when Travis brought him home that day completely pissed and I saw him emptying all the alcohol in the house, cursing your name over and over."
A mental image of a drunk and heartbroken Ron crossed Hermione's mind and she winced, like she could feel his pain.
"When Travis explained to me what happened, I understood. I cleaned the guest room and I forced Ron to stay with us for a few days. By the end of the week, Ron was better or let's say more sober. He went back to his flat, but he always came for dinner and to spend some time with us."
Claire paused for a moment as if to gather some courage to continue talking.
"Travis died a few months later on a mission and Ron promised to take care of me and my unborn baby. He became the surrogate husband and father, you could say," she said wiping a tear that threatened to roll down her cheek.
"When I was first diagnosed with cancer, it was only a year after Travis died and only a few months after I gave birth to Hannah. I don't have any living relatives apart from a 70-years old aunt that lives in Canada and Travis grew up in an orphanage. You can understand how big my fear was that Hannah would end up alone if the cancer killed me."
Of course, Hermione could understand how horrible that must have been for Claire to lose a husband and then to be diagnosed with a deadly disease that could leave her baby unprotected in the world.
"Ron came to visit me one night and he found me drunk and crying. He took me in his arms and he promised me that he'd always be there for Hannah. He told me that if it was fine with me, he could adopt her so I wouldn't have the need to worry about Hannah's future."
All the previous emotions she had towards Ron were replaced by pride in his selfless act. If it was possible, she loved him even more now.
"I happily agreed because I knew how much Ron loved Hannah. The adoption wasn't an option though. Hannah was already registered as Travis' daughter so the only way to change that was if Ron and I got married. Then he could officially adopt Hannah and that's how we ended up married. Two months after the marriage, my doctors said that I beat the cancer, but it didn't last long. Four months ago, that son of a bitch returned more aggressively. I guess Death really desires my company."
Hermione was too overwhelmed by so much information. She was speechless with how many things happened in Ron's life that she wasn't there to witness or to be a part of.
"Our marriage is phony, Hermione, as I'm sure you've already figured out. I love him and he loves me and we both love Hannah, but we are not together. There was never any romance between us."
Hermione felt a surge of hope in her heart that was quickly replaced by the reminder that Ron, married or not, didn't want anything to do with her anymore.
"What happened to that guy?" Claire asked, clearly referring to Draco.
Hermione sighed and looked down in shame. "It didn't last more than a few months. It wasn't love; I don't even know what it was, but it went away just as fast as it came. Last thing I heard of him was that he got engaged a year ago."
"And you're not sad about it?"
Hermione couldn't help but laugh at the question. "I don't have feelings for Draco. I couldn't care less what he's doing with his life," she replied with all honesty.
"And yet, you destroyed your whole life to be with him."
Claire's words felt like a punch in the face and the truth rang loud in the room.
"How did you throw away what you had with Ron for a guy that meant nothing to you?"
"I don't know!" Hermione exclaimed closed to tears.
"Hermione, we're both adults here. Treat me like one, please."
"I'm telling you the truth. I don't know what happened," she protested.
She was honest. Everything that happened during that period didn't make sense in retrospect but yet, it was all conscious decisions. She knew that Draco didn't use some weird spell on her or fill her with love potion. She frantically performed all the necessary checks to make sure that she wasn't under the influence of any magic, but in vain. She simply fell in love with Draco Malfoy and she had to accept that.
She took a deep breath. "Something inside me felt something for another man. Something less strong than the weakest feeling I had for Ron, but it was enough to make me end things with him. I could never stay with Ron if I couldn't give him all of me. Our relationship was never for the middle ground. It always balanced on the edges of complete madness and endless love. I can't explain it better and it's probably stupid, but with us it was always either everything or nothing."
She rested her head in her hands and sighed in desperation. "At least that's what I used to believe anyway," she whispered to herself but Claire heard her.
"You don't believe it anymore?" Claire asked and Hermione shook her head. "Why's that?"
"I realised that I can never get back everything, but I could settle for something more than nothing."
Claire then did something that took Hermione by surprise. She reached her hand and placed it on top of Hermione's and gave her an encouraging squeeze, accompanied by a warm smile. It was that gesture that brought Hermione to tears and she turned her head to the other side so Claire wouldn't see her wet face, but Claire proved once again that she was a wonderful person when she moved closer to Hermione and gave her a tight hug, allowing her to cry on her shoulder.
"Nobody's perfect, Hermione. People make mistakes, sometimes huge ones, but it's not the worst thing. The worst thing is to believe that these mistakes define you. That's what's worst. So, stop punishing yourself for the past, and do something for the future. Be that girl that Ron always was so proud of," Claire tried to soothe Hermione and encourage her.
"Why are you doing this? Why are you being so nice to me?" Hermione sobbed on her shoulder.
"Because Ron and Hannah will need you if I don't make it."
Claire said those words so softly and with such a broken voice, that Hermione knew she was also crying, so both women just held each other for a few minutes shedding tears and releasing some of the pain they tried to hide.
It was Claire that broke the hug and wiped her face. Hermione stood up and went to the kitchen coming back with some tissues and offering them to Claire.
"It's been so long since I've cried," confessed Claire with a weak smile.
"Unfortunately I can't say the same," said Hermione remembering all the nights she would sleep in tears holding her stuffed otter.
"Let me now tell you the main reason I wanted us to talk, Hermione," Claire said taking a more serious pose, puzzling Hermione who nodded waiting for her to start talking.
"I'm a very positive person. I always try to stay optimistic even though things were never easy in my life. But I must face reality and the reality says that I'll probably be dead in two weeks and I can't deal with it, knowing that I'm going to leave Hannah and Ron like this."
"Don't think like this. You must keep staying positive."
"I am! I believe I can make it. But just in case I don't, I want to know that I'm going to leave my family in good hands."
Hermione wasn't sure if by good hands it meant her or not, but she felt again great affection for this woman in front of her and wished she had the chance to meet her in the past and under better conditions.
"I'm not going to tell you how to handle your situation with Ron, but the reason I wanted to talk to you has to do with Ron's family and by extension… you."
Hermione nodded not really understanding where Claire was heading.
"I've tried many times to convince Ron to tell them everything, but he always postponed it."
"I had my suspicions that his family don't know about you or Hannah. Sometimes I talk with his father and he has never mentioned anything. I don't understand why though," said a confused Hermione.
"That's Ron's job to answer, not mine. But if I could guess, I'd say that this life has no connection with you, or anything from the past that hurt him, so that played a part."
Hermione didn't want to believe that Ron would hide something like this from his family because of what happened between them, but on the other hand it did make sense that Claire and Hannah were his new life and held no connection with his past. Still though it did seem very extreme and she would make sure she'd learn the answer to that decision.
"Ron doesn't know yet, but tomorrow morning he and I are going to tell Hannah that she's a witch and on Sunday I'll make him take us to visit his family for the first time. I don't have any more time to waste."
"You are going to love his family. Hannah and you are going to receive so much love there," said Hermione passionately, believing every word and ignoring the irony that she was at that moment on the receiving end of a very cold treatment from all the Weasleys, except Arthur of course.
"What I need from you Hermione is to help Hannah now in the beginning of learning what being a witch is. Ron grew up in a wizarding family so he never had any difficulties in accepting it and I can't help Hannah since I'm not a witch. But you were born into a non-magical family, Hermione, and you know how it feels for a little girl to learn something like this."
"It's terrifying; thrilling and exciting, but definitely terrifying," admitted Hermione remembering how she felt the first time Professor McGonagall came to her house and explained to her why she was so different from the other kids.
"I know Ron will object, but I'm asking you as a mother to help my daughter and guide her to this new world."
Claire's green eyes were deeply looking at Hermione's brown ones, waiting hopefully for a positive answer. "I'd love to help, but why would Hannah listen to me? She barely knows me."
"I'm not saying it's going to be easy, especially if I'm not here, Hermione. It will take time of course, but if your intentions are good, she'll know. And if the outcome of my surgery is not good, Hannah will still need guidance in life. She'll need a female role model - someone to help her, someone who she can trust like a daughter would trust her mother."
Hermione still hesitated to answer not because she didn't want to, but because she knew that Ron wouldn't like the idea and because Hannah might look at it as an effort to replace her mother. Claire noticed that Hermione was still debating whether to answer positively or negatively.
"I-I don't know what to say," Hermione stammered.
"Please, Hermione! She's 6-years old - still a baby. She hugs her teddy shark to sleep," said Claire and this time she managed to control herself and not cry, despite how emotional she felt.
"What about Ron? What if he doesn't let me?" asked Hermione in fear.
"I'm not asking Ron. I'm asking you." Claire insisted and her pleading eyes melted Hermione's heart.
"I promise," said Hermione and a sigh of relief escaped Claire's lips.
She moved and hugged Hermione again, thanking her over and over. Hermione felt that Claire shouldn't thank her because it was more of an honour to let her be by Hannah's side.
"You are a wonderful woman, Claire. I wish I had met you back then," Hermione said quietly.
"Nothing is stopping you from become my friend now, is there?" Claire smiled.
Hermione smiled back and that seemed to signal the end of the night as Claire rose from her spot and got ready to leave.
"Hannah is waiting for me and I don't want to keep her waiting much longer."
"Have a nice night," Hermione said, walking Claire to the front door.
Claire bid goodnight too, but before leaving she turned to Hermione for one last moment. "Don't beg him. Earn him."
With that, she left the flat, leaving Hermione deep in thought. The dinner took a completely different direction than what she anticipated, but definitely better than she imagined. She learned a lot of things about Ron's life, she met this wonderful woman that was like a source of inspiration, and for the first time since she moved in, she felt more hopeful about the future.
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