Authors Note: Well this is my second fanfic ever, you guys should go read my first- its better than it sounds hahaa... but anyways, i really hope you guys enjoy this! At this point im not sure where im gonna go with the story, but it should be sufficiently angst-y! Reviews would be much appreciated :)

Oh and I dont own BTR :(

Chapter 9: Almost

Two weeks later.

Kendall peeked over at his friend's bed. He could just barely make out the sleeping form in the moonlight.

It had become the boy's secret habit. Every night, Kendall found himself waking up, eyes wandering. Only to breathe out a sigh of relief upon seeing the raven haired boy.

He had caught James doing it as well- a couple of times. The brunnette would sit by the windowstill next to Logan's bed.

Carlos was sneakier, but judging by the blue blanket which now surrounded Logan, Kendall knew Carlos had been there too. In fact, this wasn't the first time Kendall had woken up to see Logan covered in Carlos's infamous baby blanket.

All three of them couldn't help it, Logan had been home for a full week now, and they were sooo afraid of losing him again. Hell, they had barely got him back.

Kendall was immediately reminded of the lifted eyebrow on Logan's Doctor's face- she almost didn't believe them. She almost didn't let him go- despite the absolutely perfect forged form. They almost didn't get him back.

But, even now, did they really have him back? He still didn't remember much. He had re-learned their names, and once in a while would comment that a BTR song (which the boys made sure were ALWAYS playing) almost seemed familiar.

Whether the boy was pretending or not, Kendall couldn't help but cling to those moments for hope that someday they would have Logan back. For now, however, he would settle with almost.

And seeing Logan, or at least almost- Logan, sleeping so… so peacefully… almost calmed the blonde boy before he drifted off to sleep.

The Next Morning

"He seem- umm- I mean," I was struggling, forcing every word out of my unwilling lips, "I seemed to have liked- I mean, I like, umm-" My head dropped and my hand shot up to my neck automatically as he continued in a whisper, "I just think... I should go to school with you guys"

I could feel my thumb raze over the cool gauze which still draped over my neck- thats when i realized i was doing it again. I forced my arm back down to my side- hoping my frustration wasnt too obvious.

Apparently, it had been, because James laughed lightly.

"Its ok Logan" His gaze wandered towards the arm which I had just separated from the back of my neck- "you always do that. always have, and I'm sure you always will"

I nodded slightly, knowing very well one of them would say that. I hated doing things like that- doing things that were deemed "Logan". I felt like I was giving them false hope, like i was almost back to normal. But I wasnt. I still didnt know why whenever i was nervous my hand- Logan's hand- would shoot up to my- his neck.

Carlos interrupted my thoughts almost immediately "I dunno Loges, you've only been back a week. We definitely don't wanna rush things- you're almos-"

"No," Kendall interrupted with such force in his voice that I had to fight the need to shield my neck with my hand again..

"If he thinks he's ready, then I say we let him. The Doc said its ok. Who knows- maybe he'll remember something-" When he continued he spoke a little bit quieter, a little bit scarier: "Plus, i dont like leaving him here in the crib all day anyway"

I cringed at the insinuations behind his comment. They made it seem like I was hopeless and weak, I hated being a burden... I wondered if Logan had been treated like that- like a little kid that needed protecting.

Still, however i relished the promise of school. Was that why Logan loved school so much? or at least Carlos said he did... Maybe it was a break for him like it would hopefully be for me, a break from being their little boy.

But, James and Carlos didnt leave my side as we ate breakfast, they didnt leave me as we left the hotel room, nor as we rode the elevator towards the classroom, not even as they directed me towards Logan's seat. In fact they didnt leave my side until the bell rang, forcing them to take their own seats. All the while, I could barely make out Kendall's concerned whisper as he spoke to the teacher, probably about Logan- me.

Meanwhile, i looked around, I simply hadnt expected it. All of the TV shows i had watched the past week, all of the research i had done made school seem so big- so vast.

But no, this was a single classroom. 20 kids at the most.

And all of them knew me- well, knew Logan.

I started to wonder whether this would actually be a "break" or more like a slightly bigger version of my previous prison- the crib.

I was so focused on my thoughts that i barely acknowledged the teacher's speech to the class about "Logan" who "had amnesia and might not remember us" but should still "be treated the same"

Yah, I groaned inwardly, because ALL students recieve daily, personal introductions.

My thoughts must have prevented me from hearing her further instructions, because suddenly the students were each saying hello to me and telling me their names and other unimportant tidbits of information.

My eyes followed the students effortlessly and I even furrowed my eyebrows in an effort to look focused. In reality, I couldnt care less about these kids. Truth was, I still had trouble remembering who was who when it came to James Ken and Carlos.

So i watched them, eyebrows- furrowed, catching bits and pieces here and there. I even caught myself jotting down some notes. I wondered if that was something Logan would do, take notes about his friends. I dont think anyone in their right mind would do that. But then again, im not in my right mind...

There was Miss Collins: the small blonde teacher. She seemed nice enough.

Stephanie: Long hair. Movie- Buff.
Carlos's girl maybe? He sure looked at her alot.

Some red headed little boy with freckles who loved the guitar.

Then some "dude" who was holding an actual guitar but said his mom wanted him to be an actor, even though he didnt want to be.

Wait, thats not right... oh, whatever, doesnt matter.

Moving on: there were three other girls, very pretty. They all introduced themselves at once. "The Jennys" I think?
I dunno... they seemed kinda stuck up anyway.

Next: some blonde girl who smiled at Kendall a lot.
Another actress. Didnt catch her name.

A guy named Plane? or Car? Jett maybe? Something transportation related.

Katie. At least one person, I didnt have to take much notes on.

Some tan chick. Rachel? or maybe she was another Jenny? Dont remember, but she likes to tan. In my opinion, she should really stop tanning.

Then the girl who sat next to me.

Camille:

I looked up and caught her gaze, I hadnt noticed her at first, but now that she was speaking she had my full attention.

"Hi," she started with a slight laugh, "My name is Camille, and im an actress- extraudonairrrrr" She finished the line by throwing a wink my way.

For some reason I caught myself smirking back at her. I think she realized how stupid this exercise really was, maybe thats why she was laughing. I suddenly felt grateful to her, like i owed her something for kidding around with me- for not treating me like a fragile please of glass.

I reached down for my pencil again. Looking for something to write about "Camille"

Camille: she winked at me.

That's all I could write. It was the only truthful thought i could muster up in Logan's almost- brain. Nonetheless, i caught myself observing herself for the rest of the exercise. I had abandoned my task of fake- focus on the students, because this girl was odd. She was overly- dramatic: no doubt. She was also beautiful, but it was something else that drew me to her.

She was nothing like Logan. Or at least, what I had heard about him. She was outgoing and fun and-

"Logan!" My head shot over to Kendall immediately. Thats when I realized that the entire class was focused on me- even Camille.

And my hand immediately shot up to my neck- yet again.

Kendall seemed to calm down at the gesture, "Just focus Logan, Miss C. was talking to you..."

"Sorry, Miss Co-" I searched my notes for her name-

"Collins" I turned back to my right, where Camille was sitting. She whispered again, with a light giggle : "Collins"

I finally caught on. "Sorry Miss Collins, lately i get distracted easliy..." My eyes roamed my desk in what i hoped looked sorrowful.

"Its fine Mr. Mitchell," she started in an stupidly, overly caring tone, "i was just wondering if you knew the answer to this math problem, its okay if you dont"

My eyes wandered up to the board where a hodgepodge of letters and symbols were thrown on the board. What the hell was an anti-derivative? Integration? are those even math words?

I looked towards the teacher to tell her no, and apologize again, but the hope in her eyes was so sad, so familiar. It was the same hope the boys had every time I touched my neck. So instead, I looked again. Somehow, someway, my prayers were answered. The letters kinda just clicked...

"du/ dX of the integral would be the original function." Logan's voice was strong despite my unwilling lips, "Taking the derivative of a function thats already been integrated is solving for the parameters of a function from which you have already found the slope" I looked around and realized that everyone around me was shocked. I sunk into my chair and finished in a whisper: "of the tangent line. The answer is A."

My arm shot up to my neck again and, at the sound of the class's collective gasp, I could feel my cheeks fill with the pink tint of embarrassment.

"Sorry-" I whispered as I jumped out of my seat, I couldnt handle this- not now.

Within a minute, I was out of Logan's classroom, away from Logan's friends, free from Logan's protectors.

"Logan!" The sound came from behind me, and caused me to let out a defeated sigh.

Almost free.

Sorry guys, I love Logie because hes smart! so i couldnt have him be all dumb in this fic! so yes, he knows school stuff, but still nothing on the personal side.

Anyway, i love Camille and Logan! soo cute.

PS: two updates in one day :) and look how long this one is! hehehhee :) you are welcome :) But yah sorry if theres any grammar issues, i didnt bother rereading it hahaha

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