Thanks to my girls MyTwiDreams and Skittlez for all the lady boners! This chapter is for you.

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I. Do. Not. Want. To. Be. A. Lesbian.

This is a small town. I go to a small high school. I cannot be gay! I'd be the talk of the town.

I most definitely cannot be gay with my vampire boyfriend's vampire sister. Gah, even saying it sounds ridiculous!

I am not gay; I have a boyfriend, a very nice boyfriend. So I experimented with a girl? Big deal. Lots of straight girls mess around and it doesn't make them lesbians.

Whatever, I got a little over excited that one time. It doesn't mean anything.

So what if Alice is coming over tonight. So what if this will be our first girls night since we...you know.

It will not happen again.

I have made up my mind, it won't happen, it was a mistake and something that never should have happened. Yes, I liked it, yes I fantasized about it every night since...including while getting myself off...but it was a one time deal.

I love my boyfriend and I'm not cheating on him again. Period.

Just to be sure I don't get all worked up again, I even made sure there was enough time between Edward leaving and Alice's arrival so I had time for a little self fun.

Okay, maybe it didn't go so well. I tried to do myself in the shower but it just wasn't happening. No matter how hard I rubbed I couldn't quite get myself there.

I thought of Edward, I thought of him naked and making love to me. And I LIKE thinking about sex with Edward because I'm NOT GAY. It just didn't work for me because...I was distracted or tired or...something.

It doesn't mean anything that I couldn't even get myself wet thinking about him! Nothing at all! It's not like thinking about Alice would have made me wet. I know, because I refused to think about her.

Because I'm not gay.

I finally gave up on masturbating, since I clearly was not in the mood which was a good thing, because I didn't want to be horny when Alice arrived. Not that it matters, because nothing is going to happen tonight, got it?

Just a nice, normal movie night between two girlfriends.

TWO UTTERLY STRAIGHT GIRLFRIENDS WHO ARE NOT "GIRLFRIEND GIRLFRIENDS."

Am I rambling?

No, I'm not.

Hmm, what to wear. I rummage through my underwear drawer and pull out one a teeny tiny little gold silk nightie thingie. I believe Alice calls this a "chemise," not that I pay attention to any kind of clothing that is not checkered shirts, torn jeans and Converse Allstars.

Wait, did that make me sound gay? Not all lesbians wear check shirts, torn jeans and Chucks. And many very very straight girls wear them too!

I'm a girl, I can be feminine! I think I'll wear this little thing. Not because I want Alice to find me attractive...no! I just think it might be nice to wear something girly for a change.

I drop my towel and tug the tiny slip of fabric over my head. I stand in the mirror and admire myself. Oh wow...this doesn't leave much to the imagination does it? I can see my nipples peeking out through the thin material, and it's so short if I bend over...well you can imagine.

I hope Alice will like it.

No! Not like that! I mean I hope she'll be happy I'm finally wearing one of the stupid outfits she bought me. Not because I want her to find me attractive. Not. At. All.

I decide against underwear since...I'm just more comfy without them. Not because I want to give Alice easy access, stop thinking like that!

Nothing. Is. Going. To Happen.

I've already practiced what I will say if Alice decides to get a little frisky with me again.

"Alice, I'm flattered, but I have a boyfriend. This is not appropriate behavior. I'll thank you to keep your hands to yourself. We are friends and nothing more."

PERFECT.

I practise over and over what I will say, and by the time Alice appears in my window I am cool and calm. I know exactly what I will say to her if anything happens again, I've made up my mind, we're having a movie night like we always have before. End of discussion.

"Hey Bellaaaa!" she says perkily as she prances into my room. "Ready for girls night?

I nod enthusiastically. So far nothing seems unusual. Well, of course this was exactly how the last movie night started but that is completely irrelevant.

"Heyyy, you're finally wearing some of your nice lingerie! It's about time." She gives me an approving once over.

I shrug. "I had nothing else and since you spent a fortune on this crap, I may as well try it out."

"Well it looks very nice on you." She sounds pleased, but not in a sexy way or anything.

Which is good, because it's not like I wanted her to think I was sexy.

"What are we watching?" I ask.

"It's a Swedish movie, it's called Show Me Love. I hear it's really good."

"Swedish? Ughhh do we have to watch subtitles?" I complained.

"Yes," she said, in that tone Alice gets where she will brook no argument.

"But Alice! Swedish movies are always such a mindfuck!"

"Yes, most likely, but let's give it a try ok?" She was already putting it in the DVD player.

"I'll go get the popcorn," I grumbled. I headed down the stairs muttering under my breath about her bossiness.

"I can hear you!" she called after me.

Stupid bossy Alice. Well, at least things were normal between us, our typical banter and disagreeing over the movie. No sexual tension, no awkwardness...

Wait. Didn't it start like that last time? In fact...didn't the entire conversation we just had pretty much go the exact same way last girl's night?

I was having serious déjà vu as the microwave beeped and I took the popcorn out. Oh this was all too familiar and it was freaking me the fuck out. Everything was happening exactly as it did last time, when we...you know.

No. No, this was stupid. I have made up my mind that nothing will happen tonight, so nothing will happen. I'm being stupid.

I hurry up the stairs before Alice can come looking for me. There. Now the déjà vu is gone. Last time she came down to get me, this time she didn't...so now we won't have sex.

Like my logic?

Alice was already in my bed on top of the covers. I perched on the farthest edge of the bed I possibly could, so that we weren't touching, and got under the blankets. That way there would be no funny business. I wedged the bowl of popcorn between us just to be sure.

Alice started the DVD while I muttered about subtitles in between bites of popcorn.

"Oh shush you," she said and settled back with her single piece of popcorn between her lips.

I sighed and tried to enjoy the movie. Well at least this wasn't too weird, a teenage movie about a girl who has a crush on another girl...

Wait . Is this movie about LESBIANS?

Oh come on.

Annnd, of course, there has to be a scene where she puts her hands down her pants while looking at a photo of the girl she likes.

And to my horror, my body started responding against my will. Traitor! My nipples are hard against the soft silk of my chemise, and that persistent tingling has begun between my legs again.

I push it out of my mind. The thought of lesbians does nothing for me! This is just teenage hormones, all very normal.

At least this movie isn't full of sex like Black Swan, apart from the little masturbation scene. It's rather sweet actually, Agnes an ordinary unpopular teenage girl in a small town, in love with the popular girl Elin.

But, still the theme of the movie is messing with my head. Making me think things I should not think.

I look down at my legs and I can see shimmers on my thighs. I'm soaked. There's a little bulge in the material of my chemise...is that? Yes it is. My little friend Lady Boner has popped up to say hello.

I twist around in the bed, making little frustrated grunts but Alice does not react or pay any attention to me.

Watch the movie. Do not think about sex.

I am too hot under the blankets. I kick them off in frustration. Alice doesn't appear to notice.

I am so wet I can smell my own arousal. And I know Alice's heightened senses can smell it too.

By the time the movie is over the sheets are a mess and I have just about twisted myself inside out.

She shuts off the TV and turns to me. "See? It wasn't so bad. Not too mindfucky for you?"

Mindfucky? No the real mindfuck comes from the girl who gave me a hand job for absolutely no reason while refusing to look at me or show any emotion, and who now just acts like nothing ever happened and ignores me now while I writhe around in a puddle of my own arousal?

But I don't say any of this. "Yeah it was a nice movie," is all I respond.

Alice flicks the light switch. "Night Bella!"

It's really not happening. I should be happy! I didn't want anything to happen.

But if I'm really honest with myself, I did. I did want Alice to touch me again. I did wear the chemise because I hoped she would think I was sexy.

I roll over, turning away from her and pull the covers around me. This is so messed up.

I related to Agnes in that movie a little more than I should. I knew how she felt. I knew what it was like to have feelings for a girl. I can't deny it.

Watching Agnes finally get to kiss Elin made my heart clench. I wanted Alice to kiss me. I want her to want me, to think I am sexy. I know I'm not but I want her to feel that way about me...like I feel about her.

I don't know what made her do what she did last time. I don't know why she sat there so emotionless. Was she just teasing me? Did she just want to see what I would do? Did she go back and tell Rosalie and have a good laugh at my expense? The sad little horny human who lost control at the slightest touch.

I'm not sexy. I'm not attractive to anyone even my own boyfriend. And the one person who made me feel good for one night pretends it never happened.

I feel tears pricking my eyes. I will not cry I will not cry I will not cry. She will hear me no matter how quiet I try to be. And I don't want to explain that I'm crying because I feel so unwanted, and that I wished more than anything else in the world that she was going to make love to me tonight.

I feel a cool breeze on the back of my neck. I wonder if I left the window open for a moment before I realize it's Alice's breath. A cool arm wraps around me. I sigh. She wants to cuddle I guess. Now is not the greatest time but I let myself enjoy being in her arms. Her other arm slides under me, pulling me to her.

I feel her cool lips press against my neck and I gasp a little. Does she know how much this teasing gets to me? I want to tell her to stop, to leave me alone, but I can't. I savor every moment and take whatever she is willing to give me.

Then I feel something brush against my nipple and I jolt. Did she...? I wait, tense in her arms.

Touch me Alice. Touch me. Touch me.

There. Again her finger brushes my nipple. I didn't imagine it. I lean back into her, trying to silently convey that I want her to continue.

She takes my nipple between her fingers. Yes. Yes, that's what I wanted. She strokes it softly, squeezing it gently. I mewl and push my hips back toward hers.

I want more Alice. Please give me more.

The arm that is under me is playing with my breasts, the other arm slides around, gliding over my stomach, then over my hip, then around to my backside.

This is happening. It's really happening isn't it? She's going to make love to me again. I can't even describe the feeling. I want her more than my own life.

Her right hand tweaks my nipple as it strains against the material of my chemise. Her left hand caresses my ass as I rock slightly against her.

More, more, I need more.

I feel her fingers trace the lacy edge of the chemise. Slowly she begins to drag it up until it is around my waist. Then her hand goes back to caressing my ass. Skin on skin this time, and it feels amazing. I grunt into my pillow and push my hips backwards again.

With her right hand, she tugs down the strap of the nightie leaving my left breast exposed. Her cool fingers go back to work my now bare nipple. Oh god.

Her left hand slides between my legs from behind. I arch against her. I know she finds me wet and ready for her. I can feel her fingers probing my entrance which is no doubt dripping against her hand.

Then...oh yes...two of fingers start to enter me. I groan as I feel myself stretching around her. There is no greater feeling than Alice inside me. No matter how many times I tried to do it myself, this was what I needed.

Alice pushes and pulls her fingers in and out of me, increasing the pace when I moan. My hips have a mind of their own as they rock back and forth into her hand. I want this to go on forever.

It's so good, so good, but I want her to touch my clit now. It's throbbing painfully and I am almost ready to start begging.

Please Alice. Please.

The hand on my nipple begins to slide down, down, over my stomach then she cups me firmly between my legs. This time I cry out loud. I try to open my legs for her, which is hard while lying on my side. Her fingers find my hopelessly engorged clit and she takes it between her thumb and forefinger while her other hand continues to pound into me with two fingers.

I'm gripping the pillow and grinding my face into it as she rolls my clit between her fingers, pinching and pulling at it. The hand that is inside me starts fucking me harder and harder until I am clenching around her fingers and sobbing hysterically. This feels too good. I can't stand it.

She tugs at my clit harder as I smash myself into her hand. I'm close. I'm so close. I slam my hips backwards, squeeze my inner muscles hard around her fingers, and come.

Beginning at my clit, then deep within my pussy, the orgasm rockets through me. I scream and bite the pillow, thrashing while Alice's strong arms hold me against her.

"Alice, Alice...OH GOD!" I scream over and over. It feels like my clit will explode from the sheer pleasure of it all. My orgasm seems to last forever, just like the last time.

I scream so hard I see stars, then drop back into my pillow.

Then everything goes black.