Yeah, it's been a while…Sorry about that!

Here's a super big think you to:

babyxgirl921

Crutchly

FreakierThanFreaks

Tomorrow's-Today

Itisjustmyself

Science-Fantasy93

AidennTheLost

Haylinraven

iluvbtr166

Anonymous reviwer

For reviewing! I really appreciate it.

It occurs to me that I should be putting in a disclaimer. So:

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Big Time Rush

I hope you like this chapter!

KATIE'S POV

"I don't know about this, James, " I said, sliding into the booth at the restaurant. "Don't you think it's a bit…fancy?"

James sat down it the seat across from me. "Nothing's too fancy for my Kit-Kat," he said, smiling.

A month ago, that would have made me puke. Now, I was sure it would make Kendall puke, if he heard it. I couldn't help but smile.

"But why at the Hollywood Club? It's packed with BTR fangirls, and that disguise isn't going to fool them for much longer. Don't you want to go somewhere where you can act like yourself?"

James twirled the end of his oversized black mustache around his finger. "Are you kidding me? This disguise is GENIUS. Who could possibly recognize me?"

"OMFG, IT'S JAMES DIAMOND FROM BIG TIME RUSH!" a girl about a year older than me yelled. Everyone in the restaurant whipped their heads around to look at James.

"NO NO! I'M JUST A HOBO! MY NAME IS HAROLD!" James yelled back nervously.

"Oh, sorry Harold!" the girl replied, and everyone went back to eating. I glared at James, who smiled and said, "I told you so."

I rolled my eyes and picked up my menu. "What are you going to get?" I asked James.

"Probably whatever you're getting. You have great taste." He flashed me another smile, then frowned and ripped off his mustache. "It's itchy!" he moaned when I shot a death glare at him.

"Really? That shows a lack of originality."

"I was trying to be polite, actually, but if you're so picky about it, then I'll get something else."

"How would ordering the same thing as me be considered polite?"

"I don't know! It just seemed like a nice thing to do!"

"What, is that what it said in all those "How to Please Girls" books you ordered?"

"Hey! How did you know about that?"

"How could I not? You left the receipts for the books all over the apartment!"

James opened his mouth again, shut it, then opened it again.

"I'm sorry, Katie. You were right, and I was wrong," he said. My brow furrowed in confusion.

"I was never saying you were wrong about anything! Wait - is this another trick from your books?"

James nodded. "Girls are always right. At least the one you're dating."

I couldn't help but smile. James took my hands in his and leaned in closer. I smiled and leaned in too, and then…

"EXCUZE MOI! PARDON, PARDON! Eet would seem zat you have no water! "Ere, let me get you lurvly children zum water." A tall, bushy-haired waiter appeared out of nowhere, plunking two glasses of water onto our table. "So sorry! Sorry to be a bother! Enjoy yourzelves!" the waiter said in a heavy French accent, then rushed away as quickly as he had come.

"That was weird, " James said.

"Not as weird as your face," I replied. James looked up, confused.

"It was a joke. Never mind." I sighed.

"You think my face is weird?" James whipped a mirror out of his pocket and studied his face intently. "No way! This face is 100% pure gorgeousness! Do you have something against gorgeous things, Katie? Huh? HUH?"

I buried my face in my hands. It was going to be a long date.

10 MINUTES LATER

"This spaghetti and meatballs is really yummy!" I said. "It's waaay better than any I've ever had at any other restaurant!"

"Really? James said. "Mine doesn't taste good at all. Kind of like dirt and worms."

"Awww, poor James," I said. "Here, want a bite of mine?" I twirled some of my spaghetti onto my fork and held it out to James. He leaned it to take a bite, but then-

"AH, NON! YOU POOR CHEEELDREN HAVE PAS DE FROMAGE! Zats too bad! But do not worry! Here! I bring you le fromage! Enjoy your meal!" The weird French waiter slammed a bowl of parmesan cheese on our table, knocking the fork out of my hand, then ran away.

"I swear, that guy is stalking us," I muttered. The fact that the waiter looked really familiar only added to my suspicions. James nodded, took another bite of his own spaghetti, and grimaced.

"Here, let me try a bite of that," I said, reaching over. I put some of James' spaghetti in my mouth, and almost gagged: James was right. It did taste like dirt! And…I took a closer look at his spaghetti and almost screamed. There were actually worms mixed in with the spaghetti!

"Oh, gross! I ATE that?" James yelled, realizing what was going on at the same time I did.

"Who would have done that?" I asked him. "Is there anyone in the kitchen that hates you?"

"Not enough to put worms in my spaghetti! I haven't done anything that bad!" James replied frantically.

"We have to take thins back to the kitchen. It's sooo not acceptable!" I said, standing up. James grabbed my arm.

"It's really not a big deal, Kit-Kat," he said, sighing resignedly.

"Are you kidding me? They mixed your dinner with dirt!"

"Look, we can tell them later. Right now…I have something else I want to do." James let go of my arm and ran to the karaoke stage, pushed the person who was singing off it, and took the microphone. Almost immediately, an uproar, started, but not because of the previous singer.

"WHOA! JAMES DIAMOND!"

"YOU ARE MY LIFE, JAMIE!"

"MARRY MEEEEEEEE!"

"SIGN MY PANTS!"

"OMG I'M LIKE TOTES GONNA DIEEEEEEE!"

"YOU JERK! WHY DID YOU PUSH ME OFF THE STAGE?"

"I LOVE YOU JAMES DIAMOND!"

James just smiled and waited for the noise to die down, then said, "Hi everyone."

The screams started again, this time continuing for almost 5 minutes. When everyone was quiet again, James continued:

"I'm here with my girlfriend Katie, tonight, and-"

The sound of hundreds of crying girls cut James off.

"Settle down! I still love all you girls!"

The crying stopped.

"But I really want to show Katie how special she is tonight. So, can you all help me by singing this song that I'm dedicating to her?"

The crowd erupted in cheers, and I literally felt part of my heart melt. Someone pulled me to right in front of the stage, and James saw me and waved awkwardly.

I sat down and watched James as a slow, calm beat started. A romantic love song. I stared swaying to the beat, which suddenly got much faster. James looked at me right in the eye, and sang:

When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly

I pay to the beat, walking on the street in my new lafreak, yeah

This is how I roll, animal print, pants out control,

It's real fool with the big afro

They like Bruce lee rock at the club

Everyone around me was cheering. I could hardly believe what I was hearing.

Girl look at that body

Girl look at that body

Girl look at that body

I work out

Girl look at that body

Girl look at that body

Girl look at that body

I work out

James as really getting into it. I felt like my face was on fire, both from anger and embarrassment.

When I walk in the spot, this is what I see

Everybody stops and they staring at me

I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it

IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT

IM SEXY AND I -

The music suddenly stopped. Relieved, I looked up, only to see the weird French waiter literally attacking James, who was screaming like a little girl. Two security guards pulled them apart, and the waiter yelled, "YOU ARE SOO DEAD, JAMES DIAMOND!"

His accent was gone. His glasses were asked. His wig fell off, revealing a mop of dirty-blond hair.

James stopped struggling against the guard who was holding hi in surprise.

"Kendall?" James sand I yelled at the same time.

The song credits go to LMFAO. I don't own the song "Sexy and I Know It".

So, what did you all think? I tried really hard on this chapter, because it didn't seem as strong as some of the other ones. Any ideas for the next chapters? Complaints? Comments? Please review!