Soli Deo gloria

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Shrek or Tangled (wish I owned the latter, but, ANYHOO), it has occurred to me that Flynn and Shrek are somewhat similar. They both are outcasts who rescue an odd princess and are joined by a horse-donkey animal, (and since there's no Tangled and Shrek crossovers), my crazy mind put two and two together and voila! I give ye Shangled!

Prologue: Once upon a time, there lived a thief who had his own private island and didn't like to be bothered by people. His dream, however, was shattered when Lord Stabbington ordered all criminals and menacing-looking men to banished to a private island, which unfortunately was already inhabited. The thief, Flynn Rider, however, was already in a bad mood do to being followed around by a loud but loyal horse named Maximus (that was what the plaque on his collar said, anyway). The horse apparently had been named a traitor, and escaped the soldiers using his mad canine skills.

When Flynn Rider found out from a very drunk man that the guy behind all this was Lord Stabbington, Flynn Rider had to bring Maximus along with him to the lord's castle to be able to straighten this all out. When the duo arrived, they found out that they were interrupting a tournament hosted by Lord Stabbington. Whoever won the tournament was to go and rescue a princess from the highest room of the tallest tower and bring her back to be Lord Stabbington's bride. (Nobody but Lord Stabbington and his closest guards knew that Lord Stabbington didn't want her as a person, but for her magical hair.)

The two managed to knock out all the guards the lord had sent on them and Lord Stabbington made a deal 0ith Flynn. If he went and brought back the princess, he'd get his land back. Flynn, tired of all this, agreed, and so he and the annoying horse went in search for the castle guarded by lava and a fire-breathing dragon (no pressure).

Good grief, what am I doing? thought the thief as he and the most annoying horse in the world headed toward a stone castle surrounded by fiery hot lava. This. Is stupid. He forces those—those fiends—well, other fiends—onto my land—MY LAND!—and says I have to go and rescue a princess? This is low, even for you, Rider.

His thoughts were interrupted when they reached their destination. The broken -down structure was smoking from the inside and out, the lava giving off a campfire smell. The moans of what they thought was the dragon resounded from inside the stone walls.

"Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location!" Flynn laughed, trying to lighten the mood a little bit, only to be given a look from Maximus. Flynn shrugged and started to walk on the rickety wooden bridge connecting the main land and the old prison.

"Um, Flynn, remember when you said that thieves have layers?" Maximus asked nervously as he tried a step on the bridge and instantly drew it back.

"Oh, yeah?" Flynn turned back to Maximus.

"Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Horses don't have layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves." Maximus cringed as he looked out at the lava.

Flynn looked confused. "Wait a minute, horses don't have sleeves."

"You know what I mean!" Maximus yelled exasperatedly.

"You can't tell me you're afraid of heights?" Flynn almost laughed.

"I'm just a little uncomfortable being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava!" Maximus was a little frantic right about now.

"Come on, Max, I'm right here beside ya, okay? For," Flynn looked around for a good phrase to use, "emotional support. We'll tackle this thing together, one little baby step at a time."

"Really?" Maximus said hopefully.

"Really, really."

"Okay, that makes me feel SO much better," the now more optimistic horse smiled as he joined Flynn on the bridge. Flynn moved over for the large animal to go in front.

"Just keep moving," Flynn said encouragingly, and whispered loudly to himself, "and don't look down."

"Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on moving, don't look down," Maximus whispered to himself as the two made some progress on the wooden bridge. Everything was going along fine until one wrong step by Maximus caused a wooden plank to fall off it. It flew down in the boiling magma. The foot that was on it slipped, causing Maximus's eyes, against his will, to see the lava.

"Flynn! I'm looking down!" shouted the terrified horse. "Oh, gosh! I can't do this! Just let me off, please!"

Flynn sighed in annoyance. "But you're already halfway!"

"But I know that half is safe!" Maximus said as he started to turn and go back the way they had come.

Flynn sighed again. "Okay, fine! I don't have time for this, you go back," and he continued to walk ahead.

"Flynn! No, wait!" shrieked Maximus as the thief blocked his way back toward safety.

"Just, Max. Let's have a dance, shall we?" Flynn teased as he gently shook the bridge.

"Don't do that!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Do what?" Flynn smiled a bit evilly. He shook it a bit more and said, "Oh, this?"

"Yes, that!"

"Yes? Yes, do it? Okay," and Flynn violently started to make the bridge swing back and forth.

Maximus gave a look of horror and screamed, "No, Flynn! No! Stop it!"

"You said do it!" Flynn smiled. "I'm doing it."

Maximus closed his eyes in horror. "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, Flynn! I'm gonna die!"

Flynn's plan worked. With him walking toward Maximus, it forced Maximus to back up until they both were safely located on the stone island.

"Oh!" the surprised Maximus gasped.

Flynn gave him a pat on the back, "That'll do Max, that'll do."

Maximus followed him inside. "So, where's this fire-breathing-pain-in-the-neck anyway?" Maximus wondered aloud as the two entered the large stone building.

"Inside, waiting for us to rescue her," Flynn said as he pointed to the back of the castle.

"I was talking about the dragon, Flynn," Maximus half-smiled. The half-smile disappeared as they walked around the desolate place. The place was dripping and smoke rose from the weirdest places. Bones sucked dry of flesh lay about, still clothed in armor. The stench was getting bad and Maximus was getting scared.

"You afraid?" Maximus asked nervously.

"No," Flynn casually answered like he did this every day.

"But—"

"Shhhh!"

"Oh, good, me neither," Maximus said as confidently as he could. He gasped, however, when he bonked into an old knight's suit. "'Cause there's nothing wrong with being afraid. Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that."

This speech had negative effects on Flynn, who took the helmet that had fallen on Maximus and placed it on his head. He glared at Maximus and said, "Max, two things, okay? Shut . . . up. Now," Flynn motioned as he placed some old parts of a knight's shining armor on his wrists and shoulders into a direction that was not anywhere near him, "go over there and see if you can find any stairs."

"Stairs? I thought we were looking for the princess?" Maximus wondered curiously.

Flynn, exasperated, explained, "The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower."

"What makes you think she'll be there?"

"I read it in a book once." The memory of that book was still in his mind. The Tales of Flynnigan Rider. Flynnigan Rider had gone and saved a princess from the highest room in the tallest tower. It made perfect sense for the princess that Flynn Rider was going to rescue be there too.

"Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those stairs, kick their butt too. . ." Maximus's annoying voice rang out as he pushed a large set of doors open. The doors creaked as Maximus confidently walked in.

"I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb! Don't mess with me, I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here, I'd step all over it!"

Flynn reached an open courtyard and located a large stone tower.

"Well," Flynn said, turning back to the direction of Maximus, "at least we know where the princess is, but where's the—"

Maximus quickly cut him off with a cry, "DRAGON!"

The monstrous beast, know as Gothel, was the color of hell itself, a rich red body with black undertones. She was extremely angry that she had more unwelcome visitors, and she gave a deafening roar. She chased Maximus over to where Flynn was and breathed fire. Flynn pushed Maximus out further into the courtyard to avoid being roasted and he ran past the dragon's long body.

The menacing dragon approached the running Maximus and nearly seared his back. She wasn't used to having this take so long, so she was terribly mad when she bent down to engulf him, but stopped when she noticed Flynn pulling her large tail. Annoyed, she whaled her tail about with Flynn still holding on and flung him out of the way. He landed with a thundering crash through the roof of the tower that contained the princess.

Inside the highest room in the tallest tower, there was a bed. Over the white sheets a delicate veil-like canopy moved lightly in the breeze. Under this setup was a young girl. She wore a lavender dress, and her hair was tied into an intricate braid, the little stray hairs flowing gently in the slight wind. Beside her bed stood a table with a frying pan (of all things) and a little snoozing chameleon on it.

She gasped at the knight in her bedroom. She quickly grabbed a frying pan by her bed. Just as Flynn stood up, she hit him with the frying pan, squealing as she did so. The thief fell to the ground with a groan as she backed away, squealing. The little chameleon, who was named Pascal, stood up instantly and watched the princess and the thief, panting violently.

Rapunzel groaned and smacked herself when she realized that that was a knight trying to rescue her. She had spent too many nights keeping herself from getting harmed by the dragon. With another quick squeal, she leapt into her bed and threw the frying pan back onto the table, nearly hitting Pascal.

She hurriedly smoothed her dress and grabbed a bouquet of orange lilies from the table as well. Pascal watched her, slightly annoyed, as she squealed, "Quick, wake him up!"

The chameleon did so begrudgingly. He flew onto the floor and approached the thief's ear. He smacked him on the shoulder but to no avail. He groaned in disgust to himself and decided to plant his tongue in Flynn's ear, which caused the man to awaken quickly, knocking Pascal into the wall.

Flynn groaned in pain and stood up. He noticed the princess and approached her. That's a lot of hair, he thought when he noticed the long braid. Upon hearing approaching footsteps, the princess pursed her lips in anticipation. She was, however, instead of kissed, shaken violently by her shoulders. Her eyes quickly opened in shock.

"Wake up!" a man's voice said loudly.

"What!?" she asked exasperatedly as she looked into the face of her savior. She was disappointed, however, when she noticed he wore a helmet just like the other knights.

"Are you Princess Rapunzel?"

"I am, waiting for a knight so bold as to rescue me," she said happily.

"Oh, that's nice," Flynn remarked sarcastically, "now let's go!" He grabbed her arm and nearly dragged her off the bed.

"Wait, Sir Knight! It be-ith our first meeting! Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment?" Rapunzel questioned as she threw her orange bouquet to the side and laid her hand against her face dramatically.

"Yeah, sorry lady, there's no time!" He grabbed her hand and lead her to the door. Rapunzel squealed and managed to grab Pascal up from the floor as she passed by. Flynn tried opening the door and instead broke off the door knob, to his frustration.

"Hey, wait, what are you doing?" shrieked Rapunzel, trying in vain to catch her breath so she could talk to this sarcastic brute. "You should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed!"

Flynn gave her a strange look. "You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?" She nodded eagerly; he scoffed and breaking down the door, they raced down the stairs.

Rapunzel grunted do to the quick pace, Pascal holding on to her as much as he could. Flynn grabbed a torch off the wall. She gasped, "But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for me!" When he didn't respond, she sighed, "A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!" She had had enough and stopped quickly, making him give her yet another look. "I don't think so," he said, annoyed. Rapunzel sighed again and asked, "Can I least know the name of my champion?"

Flynn was caught off-guard and said almost sheepishly, "Um, Flynn Rider."

She cleared her throat and smiled. "Sir Flynn." She reached into her pocket and withdrew a lacy handkerchief, "I pray you take this as a token of my gratitude."

"Thanks!" He grabbed the hankie and wiped his sweaty helmet with it and handed it back to her, to her disgust.

Rapunzel was astonished to hear the roars of the dragon that had guarded her for years (if you can even call it guarding) coming from the other side of the castle. "You didn't slay the dragon?" she said angrily as she jerked her hand out of his.

"It's on my to-do list, okay?" Flynn said exasperatedly. He grabbed her hand again and pulled her into a run.

"But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying—that's what all the other knights did!"

"Yeah, right before they burst into flame!" he retorted back.

"That's not the point, oh!" They stopped running when they reached flat ground.

Flynn started looking around with the torch while Rapunzel scanned the exits around them and asked, confused, "Where are you going? The exit's over there!" she pointed out.

"Well I have to save my own—" but before he could finish, she put her hand out and said, "I can figure out the rest." She sighed again and held out her hands in defeat and asked, "What kind of a knight are you?"

He tipped his helmet and she was barely able to detect a smirking smile under the armor. "One of a kind." He slowly opened a wooden door and it creaked quietly as he peered through. He slipped through without a sound and was disgusted when he reached the railing. In the courtyard, Gothel, the ferocious man-eating dragon, was having a conversation with a nervous Maximus (albeit Maximus was doing all of the talking). The dragon had her tail wrapped around Maximus and he was rambling nervously.

Flynn shuddered as he watched the two, but he had a light bulb moment when the dragon blew fire onto the chandelier and turned her attention back to Maximus. When he found a chain connecting to the chandelier, he grabbed it and leapt off the railing. With Maximus keeping Gothel busy, he was able to make the chain reach the bottom, knocking Maximus out of the way of Gothel. Gothel, now very angry at Flynn for pushing Maximus out of her way, angrily roared, making Flynn remember his plan and let go of the chain. The chain he had held went up and the chandelier came crashing down around the dragon's neck.

She roared in anger as Flynn grabbed Maximus's reins and they raced back to the creaky door where Pascal and Rapunzel were. She was about to say something when Flynn grabbed her under his arm and raced on, still holding Maximus's reins.

"Hi, Princess!" Maximus smiled optimistically.

Pascal squealed.

"It talks!" Rapunzel cried in astonishment.

"Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick!" Flynn shouted above the roar of the dragon who crept after them. They quickly slid down a smooth part of the structurally-unsound place and raced out into the center of the castle with the dragon on their heels. Flynn had a plan. He dragged Maximus around the large pillars of the building, causing the dragon's chain to get tangled around the supports. They nearly got torched when they jumped over and ran under the chains. Flynn let go of Maximus's reins and put Rapunzel down and gave them a shove.

"You three! Head for the exit!" he yelled as he grabbed a lone sword and wielded it skillfully. "I'll take care of the dragon."

He ran to the center of the castle where all the chains intertwined. With all his strength, he broke the stone floor as he plunged the weapon into the ground, all the chains were now tied together because of the sword. With one satisfied nod, he caught up with the horse and princess and they ran for their lives.

The dragon gave another large roar and fire belted out of her mouth. The trio ran out of the castle and onto the bridge, Maximus no longer having a problem with a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava! (It was either that or the boiling bad breath of a dragon!)

They raced across the burning bridge but the bridge gave out before the reached the end. Rapunzel screamed as they all caught the bridge with their trembling hands. Maximus, having hooves, didn't have a good grip, and he fell toward the ground. Flynn quickly caught one of his legs and one of his hooves got tangled in the ropes, saving him. The dragon gave yet another mighty roar and flew toward them. The sword held its own, though, and the held-back chains nearly choked the dragon. She earnestly tried harder to break the metal holding her back but alas, to no avail.

They all sighed in relief as they climbed their way back up the rest of the bridge. The dragon gave an angry shout, but when they disappeared from sight, she sighed sadly and gave a forlorn wail.

Rapunzel happily skidded down the rough rocky terrain with the dragon's roars still faint in the background and Pascal squealing excitedly on her shoulder. She gazed about the valley; there were trees with posters on them and rocks everywhere, but there were also some assorted flowers. She clasped her hands and danced around in a little circle.

"You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing! You're—you're wonderful! You're—" Rapunzel smiled nervously as the boys came tumbling down the slope and crashed into each other. "A little unorthodox, I'll admit. But, thy deed is great, and thine heart is pure. I'm eternally in your debt!" Maximus gave her a cleared throat and she scratched his neck playfully. "And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?"

Maximus gave Flynn a cocky grin as she gleefully continued scratching him. "I hope you heard that. She thinks I'm a noble steed. She think I'm a steed." Flynn rolled his eyes in annoyance. Rapunzel looked up from Max and smiled. "The battle is won. You may now remove your helmet, good Sir Knight!" Maximus threw Flynn a nervous glance and Flynn backed away in protest. "Uh, no."

"Why not?" Rapunzel asked curiously.

"I, um, have hat hair," Flynn stalled.

Pascal scowled.

"Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer!"

"No, no, you wouldn't—st!" Flynn answered.

"But how will you kiss me?" Rapunzel wondered.

Flynn was shocked! "That wasn't in the job description!"

"Maybe it's a perk!" Maximus threw out a suggestion.

"No, it's destiny," Rapunzel explained to the two uninformed rescuers. "Oh, you must know how it goes! A princess locked in a tower beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's first kiss!"

"Hmm? With Flynn? Wait, wait—you think Flynn, is your true love?" Maximus asked.

"Well," Rapunzel looked at their shocked faces, "yes."

Flynn and Maximus looked at each other in astonishment, and then they erupted into laughter. Rapunzel and Pascal were horrified and more than a bit angry at their immature behavior. "You think Flynn is your true love!" Maximus roared.

"What is so funny?" Rapunzel asked angrily.

"Let's just say I'm not your type, okay?" Flynn smiled in a don't-say-anything-else-because-I'm-in-a-mood-where-I-can-laugh-really-easily-at-almost-anything-you-say-kinda-mood.

"Of course you are! You're my rescuer! Now," Rapunzel spoke with a little forced confidence and command, "now remove your helmet!"

"Look, I don't think this is a good idea. . ."

"Just remove your helmet!" Rapunzel said wearily.

"I'm not going to."

"Take it off!"

"No!"

"Now!"

"Okay!" Flynn said in defeat. "Easy. As you command. Your Highness," and with that, he carefully removed his helmet and looked at her for her reaction. She looked at his face and then at a nearby poster in the background. Aside from the nose, the wanted man's picture on the tree looked exactly—Rapunzel gulped—like Flynn Rider. Pascal watched them both nervously. Flynn watched her for her reaction impatiently.

"You—you're a—you're a thief," Rapunzel stuttered.

"Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming?" Flynn scowled.

"Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be a thief," Rapunzel moaned.

Flynn sighed. "Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Stabbington, okay? He's the one who wants to marry you!"

"Then why didn't he come rescue me?" Rapunzel demanded.

"Good question, you can ask him that when we get there."

"But I have to be rescued by my true love, not some thief and his—his pet!"

"So much for noble steed," Maximus scowled.

"Look, princess, you're not making my job any easier," Flynn said.

"Well, I'm sorry, but your job is not any of my problem. You can tell Lord Stabbington that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him—right—here!" and Rapunzel sat down firmly on a large rock, crossed her arms and gave the two an angry frown. Pascal nodded and patted Rapunzel's shoulder.

"Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy!" Flynn stated firmly as he bent down to her height. "I'm a delivery boy."

"You wouldn't dare!" Rapunzel challenged. That was too much for Flynn—he'd planned on making her walk, but she pushed his buttons one too many times and he didn't want to deal with her, so he scooped her up and flung her over his shoulder to her utter surprise. Pascal too yelled in surprise. Rapunzel squealed angrily, "Put. Me. Down!"

"Ya comin', Max?" Flynn asked casually as Rapunzel kicked and punched him with clenched fists.

"I'm right behind ya," Maximus said cheerfully as the two started their way back to the lord's castle.

"Put me down or you will suffer the consequences! Uhh, this is NOT dignified! Put me down!" she continued ranting until she had run out of breath. The way Flynn walked firmly and Maximus trotted along, you could tell that they were not intent on turning back. Pascal scowled. Rapunzel sighed deeply and put her head in between her fists and sighed again. The rest of the day should be justttttt great.

Epilogue: Flynn and Rapunzel and Max and Pascal had great fun on their way back to Lord Stabbington (including hints of romance), including a campfire scene! When Flynn went to get more firewood, Rapunzel and Pascal hid in an old broken house only to be found by Maximus who found out Rapunzel's greatest secret: Her hair was gone. Her magical golden hair disappeared every night and was replaced by jagged brown hair.

While she explained how she hated herself like this, Flynn overheard and thought she was talking about him. In the morning, she, Pascal, and Maximus wake up to see Flynn had gone and brought Lord Stabbington to take her back. Flynn got his land deed and went home brokenhearted. They both still had feelings for each other. When Maximus rallied him, they and Gothel trashed the wedding between Lord Stabbington and Rapunzel, and Flynn and Rapunzel revealed their love for each other. Rapunzel then revealed that when the sun went down, her golden hair disappeared and was replaced with brown hair. Flynn told her his secret—his real name is Eugene Fitzherbert.

The two were then threatened by Lord Stabbington who just wanted her hair but before the guards could carry out his orders, Gothel ate him, Pascal cheering her on! Our lovebirds kissed, and Rapunzel was wrapped in a magical light. When it disappeared, she was disappointed that her hair was brown and jagged and said she was not beautiful, but Eugene comforted her by saying, "But you are beautiful!" They get married and leave Maximus and Pascal rocking the reception along with the pub thugs, and they all lived happily ever after.

The end.

Thanks for reading! Review?