TW for mentions of suicide. See Author's note at bottom.

Ghost could feel himself getting dragged through hallways, body in extreme pain. His body convulsed with each wave of agony, the two dragging him behind them not giving him any slack. Who knows how long he had been alone with Gonzalo, but the amount of pain through his body spoke volumes as to what happened during their time away from Roach. They reached the cell, opening the door and tossing him in without a care, locking the door behind them. Ghost curled up on himself in the spot they left him, unwilling to move further. He almost fell asleep before he heard a shuffle in the corner of the room. He looked blearily to see Roach sitting in a corner, knees drawn up with his head resting on them.

"B-bug?" Ghost coughed out. Roach nodded once, silent. "Ya alright?" Another short nod. Ghost sighed, curling back up on himself.

"...I'm cracking...aren't I?" Roach spoke barely above a whisper. Ghost snapped his head back up, finally noticing there were tear tracks down the sergeant's face. Ghost grimaced as he stood up, walking with a limp before reaching Roach. He put his back to the wall, wincing as he slid down to sit down next to Roach. "I...I am, aren't I?" Ghost frowned.

"...probably, yeah." He let out a sigh. "Sorry, bug." Roach let out a shaky exhale.

"...you told me to tell him. Why?"

"You actually remember that part?" Ghost asked with a hint of surprise. Roach gave him a half shrug half nod. "Didn't think you would, honestly. Thought you were...well, too out of it to realize."

"I remember that part, but I don't fully remember everything. I don't think this-" Roach motioned with a small wave towards his head. "-that it was all there."

"Don't think too much about it, Roach. Howze the side?" Ghost asked. Roach didn't answer, eyes staring ahead. Ghost frowned as he recognized the distant look. "Roach." The younger man jumped, looking to Ghost. "I asked how the side was."

"Oh." Roach said simply. He moved his legs so Ghost could see a nasty burn mark where the wound once was. "They cauterized it. It hurt."

"I can imagine." Ghost's frown deepened in concern. He watched Roach carefully before letting out a long sigh, closing his eyes and letting his head drop onto Roach's shoulder. "Go to sleep bug."

"Why?" Ghost scoffed at the question, already feeling drowsy.

"'Cuz I'm tired and you need sleep. Plus sleep means your body heals naturally faster." Roach gave a noncommittal hum in response, Ghost feeling Roach's head rest on his.

"...your hair is long." Roach mumbled. Ghost quirked an eyebrow.

"Eh?"

"Thought you were bald under the mask."

"Cheeky bastard." He felt Roach shrug.

"Never saw you without the mask 'til now. Guys had a bet going."

"What kind of bet?"

"What you looked like. Toad was the closest. Meat was the farthest off."

"What'd 'e say?"

"Said something about a cross between a vampire from some shitty teen book and bigfoot, I think. Or the Loch Ness. Not sure on the specifics but he was trying to make you into some monster. Toad said you were a ginger but that's all he got."

"Shitty blighters the lot of ya." Ghost grumbled halfheartedly.

"Cap came up while we were making bets and said you looked like a dude named Simon Riley." Roach muttered. "Archer called bullshit and everyone else had to look up who that was."

"Arsehole." Roach shrugged again.

"When they looked you up they all said there was no way you looked like him. So your cover was good enough apparently."

"Well that'll change when Toad and Meat get back." Ghost chewed on the inside of his cheek. "Wonder what the guys'll think of me after this."

"Probably not different. Dunno. Thought you said we needed to sleep."

"You started it." They fell into a more comfortable silence, Ghost slipping into a dreamless sleep soon afterward.

The peace they had acquired for several hours was broken with Roach jolting out of his sleep in a panic, Ghost falling off his shoulder and groaning as his body hit the ground.

"Oi, bug I was sleeping…" Ghost let out a small yawn, looking Roach over. His eyes held a wild panic in them, with his breaths shallow and quick. "Hey, Roach? Ah shite…" he mumbled, moving to sit in front of him. Roach was wringing his hands, slightly curling in on himself as Ghost got closer. "Hey, mate. Look up at me, make eye contact."

"Wha-what's going on?" Roach whispered. It was the loudest he could go, voice going up in pitch as his breath became shallower.

"I need ya to calm down first, then we can talk it out. Take deep breaths bug." Roach nodded quickly, letting himself suck in more air and holding it. "Bug part of breathing is exhaling."

"Shut up." Roach replied smartly, letting out his breath shakily. Ghost couldn't help the small laugh as Roach took another breath in and held it again. "I know how to breathe, Ghost."

"You coulda fooled me with the not breathing out part."

"Ass."

They sat in silence a while longer, Ghost putting his hands on Roach's shoulder and having him mimic his breathing before Roach slouched forward.

"Ya back with me?" Roach nodded, lifting his head up. "Still kinda jittery?" Roach shook his head. Ghost smirked. "Verbal answers would be appreciated, Roach." Roach gave a shaky nod before letting out a slow breath. He looked up to Ghost frowning. He returned the frown. "Brain too messed up to talk right now?" Another nod. "Alright then, just lay back down and rest some."

They settled back against the wall, Roach now putting his head on Ghost's shoulder. Ghost took the opportunity to ruminate on this new development. Roach was already having nightmares, he's woken up to them more than the sergeant realized, but the added panic attacks he'd suffered was pointing in a negative direction.

"You think too loud." Roach mumbled after a while. "I can't sleep with all the noise."

"Hah. Funny." Ghost deadpanned, sitting up straight. "You feelin' better?"

"Not really. Everything's still kinda...like I'm not in my body? Like if I said that it felt like my brain wasn't where my brain was supposed to be, would that make sense to you? Or just my head in general." Roach looked down at his hands. "Like my whole body's shifted somehow." Ghost stared ahead at the wall for a moment, recalling old therapy sessions he had been forced to take.

"That's a type of dissociation, I think. Can't quote me, it's been years since I was in a head doc's office. But I get it." He finally spoke up. "Like there's a weird delay somewhere between what you're feeling and what you're actually doing, right?"

"Yeah, something like that." Roach nodded, pausing to put a hand to his head. "So, I am going crazy? Am I gonna end up like you?"

"Excuse me?!"

"No not like-! I mean!" Roach stammered at Ghost's incredulous expression. "Fuck! I didn't mean it like that!"

"Mate you're on thin ice."

"I mean like...uh...the panic attacks and nightmares and-" Roach cut himself off, slapping a hand over his mouth.

"Is that how you're gonna cover that?" Ghost asked with a raised eyebrow. "Since I'm pretty sure you just called me a nutter." Roach shook his head furiously, eyes wide with panic. Ghost glared at him for a moment before letting out a laugh, leaning back. "I'm takin' the piss with ya, calm down."

"That...is SO not funny!" Roach cried out, swiping his arm out to hit Ghost. Ghost just leaned back further, laughing as Roach stared at him indignantly. "I hate you, asshole."

"Thanks bug, I needed the laugh. That was so easy." Ghost sat up, laugh dying down as he settled back. "Forgot how much of an easy target you are sometimes."

"Man, fuck you. I thought I offended you and I wasn't gonna recover from the embarrassment." Roach huffed in annoyance. "Or like, fuck up our friendship or something."

"We were friends?"

"Ha ha asshole fuck you."

"I don't think you'll have it as bad as me." Ghost said suddenly, switching the topic back. "You've got a few good points in your column compared to mine."

"Good points like what, exactly?" Roach asked, genuinely curious. "I don't see many positives other than Meat and Toad showing up."

"See that's something I didn't have. I had to be left behind." Ghost pointed out.

"We were just left behind."

"But we now have a chance of rescue, right?"

"Ok, I'll give you that." Roach tilted his head down in thought. "What else?"

"Me." Ghost waved a hand, earning a smirk from Roach. "Mate I'm serious. I at least know how fucked it can get."

"So if you know how fucked it can be, and you mentioned a head doc. Does that mean that you had to go to therapy?" Roach asked, recalling the slight mention. Ghost nodded once. "Did it help any?"

"In some regards, yes. Thinkin' back I wish I had gone more. Doc was right, I was in it bad, was too prideful for the help. I just wanted to go back into service, but if I had things would have been worse." Ghost stared unseeing at the wall ahead of him, sinking back into old and forgotten memories. "Shame she got pulled into everything."

"Erm, everything? Do I want to know?" Ghost frowned before turning to Roach.

"Remember how I said I was wanted for the murder of my own family? When Sparks and Washington found me, they found her too. She knew too much, apparently. To them, she had to go." Roach gave a small nod as he thought.

"Look, I hate to pry but I'm just curious." He spoke slowly, gathering his thoughts. "How bad were you, when you got home?" Ghost let out a scoff.

"More than you'd think. I was…" Ghost paused, returning his stare back to the wall ahead. Roach could see a haunted look slowly seep into his eyes as he recalled. "...bad. I...wanted to hurt people, and in a weird way I felt like I could...enjoy it. I used to have nightmares, of people being hurt...by me. And I would...laugh." Ghost looked down unseeingly at one of his hands, Roach wondering if the conversation needed to be dropped or not.

"...Ghost?"

"Roba, he...there were side effects. Obviously, PTSD manifests in different ways, and it brought out the worst of…when I was younger, my father was what I considered pure evil and it messed with me growing up…and after all of..." Ghost trailed off again, unsaid fragments of his thoughts lost as he fell into a deep brooding. When he finally spoke a few moments later, it was barely above a whisper. "I shouldn't have hesitated then." Roach frowned for a moment, unsure to what Ghost was referring to. When he looked at Ghost and made eye contact, he gave a questioning look. Ghost smiled, a hollow and empty smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Do ya really need a hint, bug?" Roach furrowed his brows, dropping his gaze before it clicked in his head, eyes widening in shock. "There ya go."

"You-you almost killed yourself?" Roach could barely get the words out. Ghost just kept smiling, looking back towards the wall ahead. "Ghost...I-"

"Nothing like almost offing yourself in the middle of your dead family. Really set the mood."

"Dude, not funn-"

"And then to deal with all of the problems." Ghost's voice seemed to drop in pitch, growing deeper and darker as he continued. "Two people that went through Hell with you, destroying everything you ever loved, seeing the men that used to torment you everywhere you went, seeing the face of the man most responsible, wearing the bones just to mess with your head and taunt you from the gra-"

"Ghost!" Roach swung himself in front of him, on his knees as he grabbed Ghost by the shoulders. "Ghost you need to calm down. You're freakin' me out a bit." Ghost barely reacted, stopping only when his eyes looked behind Roach's shoulder.

"Well, this is an interesting development. It seems Vernon was right, all we did need was time with you. Shame my father was an impatient man." Roach felt fear rush through him in a cold wave, body shuddering as he turned. The door was swung wide open, Gonzalo leaning against the frame with his arms crossed. "Why did you not tell me of this before, Simon? I could have skipped so many steps." Ghost simply stared at him, a dark shadow dancing behind his eyes. "I believe I remember my father referring to you as 'Mr. Death', I see the parallels between that name and your new supposed name. Gary, it has been three days since we interacted together. I would like to run some tests with the new developments my scientists have made and I need your opinion." Roach froze, unmoving. "Are you going to join me willingly, or shall I have Jorge come escort you?"

"Deep breath Roach." Ghost muttered. Roach flicked his eyes towards Ghost, who gave a small nod. Roach took a deep breath, forcing himself to stand stiffly.

"Excellent. Follow me, Gary. We have little time for this session." Gonzalo said, straightening up and stepping away from the door. Roach walked behind him, pausing slightly at the door. He and Ghost made eye contact, any hint of whatever darkness plaguing Ghost dissipating as he gave an encouraging smile, Roach giving one back half-heartedly before the door closed.

So Suicide is a big problem, and I will put this warning because, well. With how life is right now, coronavirus, the BLM movement (I support BLM, btw), job loses for many, everything not being "normal" lately. Whatever people think is ok as "normal" before...

COVID-19 is making the mental health problem in America worse, I would know. But if you are having those thoughts or feelings, please PLEASE talk to someone qualified to help you. There are many resources available.

The next few chapters...will also have warnings. At this point, it might be...rough...

Updates are coming bit by bit. It's been a challenge.