It's a Horrible Life
Chapter 1
by Black Dragon
[email protected]
http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/fanficlair/index.html
Normal disclaimer applies. I wish I got paid for this. I really do. But I don't, so lay off, alright? Oh yeah, this story is sort of a remake of The Surreal World, a really neat fanfiction that was written a long time ago and then left to rot, apparently forever. Anyway, I'll be using characters from Ranma 1/2 (of course), Urusei Yatsura, King of Fighters (or more commonly, Fatal Fury), Sailor Moon, Tenchi Muyo, All-Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku, and Geobreeders, plus I'll probably throw in some more if I decide to continue this. So without further delay, on to the fic!
Chapter 1
Getting an Apartment Never Used to be Like This
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"I'VE HAD IT!!! YOU'RE ALL INSANE!!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!?!?!?"
The assembled group of fiancees, ranging from Akane to Kodachi, all stopped fighting at Ranma's yell, many of them freezing in mid-swing.
"Is airen okay?" Shampoo ventured to ask.
"No, I'm not okay! Dammit, I've had enough of this! I'm out of here! FOR GOOD!!" And with that Ranma sped out into the backyard and ran off, easily clearing the fence and jumping onto the rooftops that led away from the dojo.
Back at the dojo, the collection of girls looked shocked, as did Soun and Genma, who had been calmly playing shogi up until Ranma's outburst. Slowly, they all turned around to look at Nabiki, who was watching T.V. while munching on a cracker.
"He'll be back. I'd give him two, maybe three days tops," she said without looking back.
There was a collective sigh of relief (though Akane would later deny she was relieved), and the combatants turned back toward each other.
"Well, now that that's out of the way, you ready for round 2, sugar?"
"Shampoo flatten you with own weapon, spatula girl!"
"Ohohohohohoho! Shall you continue your futile efforts against me, peasants?"
"Shut up and fight!"
Ah, yes, the comforts of routine.
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"Ow...... argh...... hurt... bad...... h-help...... medic......" Ataru crawled into his house a burnt, blackened, smoking wreck, suffering from severe electric shocks, first degree burns, and many other various injuries.
All was right with the world.
Mrs. Moroboshi looked down at her son and shook her head. "All right, all right, I'll go get the bandages and antiseptic. Couldn't you have come a little earlier? Dinner's almost ready."
Ataru growled from his postion on the floor. "Well excuse me for being chased around by Lum and that little punk Ten! Not to mention trampled by the entire girls' tennis team!"
Mrs. Moroboshi rolled her eyes and tossed the medical supplies on the floor next to Ataru, going back to the kitchen to cook. "Honestly, if you simply wouldn't harrass all those other girls... *Sigh* why was I cursed with such an idiot for a son?"
Ataru's teeth grated together as he tried to restrain his anger and bandage himself at the same time. "I never asked for this! Why the hell shouldn't I be able to flirt with anyone I want? This is all Lum's fault!"
In his anger, however, he had wound the bandage much too tightly, and it only aggravated the pain he was feeling.
"And you! I get home looking like an ER extra, and the first thing you say to me is 'Why couldn't you have gotten home sooner'?! What kind of mother are you?!"
Mrs. Moroboshi simply ignored him, quite used to Ataru's occasional temper tantrums.
"Well, FINE!! If nobody cares then I'll just leave!" Furious, and in something of a daze from downing so many painkillers at once, Ataru stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him.
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Terry Bogard plodded along the road aimlessly, occasionally looking to either side of the street looking for signs that offered places to stay or short-term jobs. He had finished his training in Nagasaki, having found the combatants there too far below his level to offer him any real improvement. Unfortunately, the closer he got to Tokyo, the harder it became to find a job and an apartment. There was also the problem of whether or not there was any worthwhile training around here.
'But first priority is finding that apartment.'
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Tuxedo Kamen simply stared at the mass of rubble that had once been the place he called home.
The Sailor Senshi had won, and the enemy had been destroyed. Unfortunately, it had not been the only thing to be wiped off the face of the planet.
"My apartment..." He said slowly, as if on some level he really couldn't believe this had happened.
Sailor Moon, naturally, made every effort to comfort her boyfriend/fated lover, but couldn't seem to snap him out of his daze. "It's okay, Mamo- chan, we'll find you another place to stay." She broke off her line of speech briefly to glare at Minako, a.k.a. Sailor Venus, who flushed red.
"I said I'm sorry! My aim was off! I didn't mean it!"
Mamoru sighed. "Don't worry about it. I'll find another apartment. Somehow."
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"R-Ryoko, Ayeka, could you two just calm down for moment?" Alas, Tenchi's pleas fell on deaf ears as the two aliens powered up in preparation for their latest catfight (as Noboyuki so laughingly put it).
Tenchi had learned from experience when to just give up diplomacy and run like hell. So he did.
Tenchi sighed sat down on the front porch of the house, trying to figure out what was being destroyed merely by the sound of it exploding.
"There goes a lamp... the TV... I'd have to say that was the couch. Tenchi sighed again and buried his face in his hands.
"They can be such a bother, can't they?"
Tenchi sweatdropped as he heard Washu's voice behind him. "Why can't they ever just get along?"
Washu grinned and chuckled. "Well, actually, they barely fought at all when you left to stay in Tokyo last month."
Now that made Tenchi think. The whole incident in Tokyo had arguably been the wierdest and most dangerous experience of his life, but it had been a whole lot more peaceful than any given day here.
'Hmmm. We could all use a little break,' he thought, 'but where would I stay?'
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"NUKU NUKU!!" The robotic cat-girl jerked up from where she was enjoying a steamed fish at Kyusaku's bellowing voice.
Nuku Nuku stood up and bowed as Kyusaku ran into the room. "Hello Papa- san!"
Kyusaku was breathing hard from running, and was even now holding his hands on his knees and panting.
Rynnosuke followed behind him, though he wasn't breathing hard. "I told you that smoking would do that to you. You're breathing like an old man."
Kyusaku glared at Rynnosuke before turning back to Nuku Nuku. "Nuku, did you raid the docks yesterday to get some fish?"
Nuku Nuku blinked, then sweatdropped and stepped in front of the steamed halibut she was eating in a comical attempt to claim innocence. "Fish? What fish? Nuku Nuku has no fish!"
Kyusaku held his head in his hands. "Nuku, we've got to leave. We've been under attack by fisherman for the last hour or so."
Rynnosuke nodded. "They already harpooned the van."
Nuku Nuku hung her head low and looked ashamed. "Nuku Nuku is sorry."
Kyusaku nodded, not even attempting to look angry. It was near impossible to stay angry at Nuku Nuku anyway, unless you were trying to kill her. "It's about time we moved anyway. Staying in the same place for so long can be hazardous. I think it's about time we left, especially with Mishima Heavy Industries moving in on this area. I've already got a place lined up, but there's a problem: it's in a sparsely populated area, and the landlord is very fussy about property damage." No further explanation was necessary.
Nuku Nuku didn't bother trying to promise that she wouldn't get into any fights, as all present knew that simply wasn't possible, especially since she didn't start most of them.
Kyusaku's head creased in thought, and he lit up another cigarette. What were they going to do?
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"DELETE!!" *Fzzzzzt* *ZAP!*
Takami Sakuragi let go of a breath she didn't realize she was holding, and slowly closed the laptop which now held the trapped phantom cat. She had panicked and gone into what Umi called her "reality escape mode", but had managed to snap out of it just in time to keep Taba from being reduced to cat food.
"Eep." Yoichi Taba still hadn't moved from the spot where he had frozen in terror, and wasn't showing any signs of budging.
Yuka congradulated the team on their good work, then bounced over to Taba to make sure he wasn't dead. None could tell from her manner, but it was he that she cared for the most, and would be truly devestated should he be hurt.
Somehow, he didn't quite appreciate her expression of concern.
"Why the hell didn't you shoot it?! I could've died!"
Yuka smiled upon seeing that nothing important was damaged. "Well, I saw Sakuragi waking up, so I figured, 'why waste an arrow?'." With that she patted him on the head affectionately and picked up the crossbow lying next to her as she walked to the van.
Taba followed after her, but there was a noticeable lack of "Are you insane? Do you want me to die?" and other such comments. After two years in Kagura, you learn not to waste your breath.
Sakuragi quickly apologized profusely for not having activated the wards earlier. "So, do you have any plans for tonight?" This was answered with a glare from Yuka, which Takami tried her best to ignore.
Now, Taba wasn't normally a dense or clueless guy, but he had just come from his 13th near-death experience that month, and was still a little dizzy. "Yeah, I was gonna keep looking for an apartment. I'm sick of living in Kagura's basement." Sakuragi gave a little sigh at his answer, but let the subject slide.
'Where am I gonna find a place to stay?'
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There are times, it is said, that when the will of many souls cry out for justice, a group of heroes shall appear and slay those who serve the forces of evil. This has absolutely nothing to do with this story, but I thought it'd make an interesting side note.
There are other times, it is said by someone else, that when the will of a few souls strive for a single purpose, divine intervention shall grant what they desire. Or something like that. I'm not exactly a religious guy.
As it happened, one certain entity saw the looks of dispair of those people, and seeing how it didn't have anything particular planned for the next decade or so, decided to lend the mortals a hand.
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Ataru sighed as he looked over the rent prices in the paper. More than he could afford. There was simply no possible way he could hold a full-time job to pay for it, especially since he considered himself allergic to hard work.
"Well, I better keep looking. It's not like the answer to my problem's going to fall out of the sky or anything."
It wasn't that Ataru didn't hear the telltale sound of an object falling out of the sky towards him, it was simply that his brain refused to acknowledge it in the futile hope that it might just be paranoia.
It was somewhat harder to ignore once it impacted his skull. *Thwack!*
"What, they're throwing rocks at me now?" Ataru grumbled as he got off the ground while rubbing his head.
Looking at the area where the projectile had fallen, Ataru discovered a broken-up rock with a piece of paper that appeared to have been jammed inside. How anyone could have gotten a wad of paper into a hollow chunk of granite was beyond him, and, naturally, he didn't give it another thought.
"What's this?" Ataru opened up the note and started to read it.
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Terry slowly lowered his cap as his ears picked up the tell-tale sound of an object hurtling through the air towards him. Quickly judging its distance and speed, Terry turned around at the very last second, grabbing the rock and quickly crushing it in his hand. He looked around for his assailant, but if there was one, he had already fled.
Finally he took notice of the piece of paper within the dust of the rock. Scowling, he read it. Then his scowl turned into a confused expression, and he blinked. "I was expecting a death threat or a challenge letter, definitely not something like this..."
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*Thwack!* "Ow!" Mamoru grabbed his head in pain as a rock the size of a baseball struck it from behind, launching him onto the sidewalk.
Usagi gasped and ran up to him to ask if he was alright. Then she started looking around to see who had thrown the rock. Except that nobody was there. Other than them, the street was deserted.
Mamoru growled and was about to kick the offending object away, when he noticed that it broken open on impact and spilled out a small sheet of paper. He picked it up and read it.
"Usagi! Come look at this!"
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"Whoa! I'm detecting a space-time anomaly!" Washu's computer let out a shrill beeping noise, alerting its owner of the situation.
"Huh?" Tenchi turned his head to look at Washu, and was immediately struck in the head from the direction he was previously facing.
*Thwack!* "Ugh!" Tenchi was quickly sprawled out on the ground, his head spinning from the sudden pain.
Washu observed the rock, which had broken open upon impact to reveal a crumpled note. "Fascinating..."
Tenchi got up, rubbed his head, then opened up the note.
"What in the........?"
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*Thwack!*
Nuku Nuku blinked and wondered where the noise had come from. Deciding that it wasn't important since it wasn't followed up by an explosion, Nuku Nuku ran to catch up with Kyusaku.
*Thwack!*
Nuku Nuku took a brief look around, but once again ignored the incident when it became clear that neither Arisa nor Eimei were around.
*Thwack!* *Thwack!* *Thwack!*
Nuku Nuku chose to ignore the last three noises completely.
Because Kyusaku had never bothered to put nerve sensors in her cranium, Nuku Nuku felt no pain from the impacts. And because the blows to the head weren't strong enough to damage her, her internal systems made no note of it.
Bereft of options, the rocks chose a different target.
*Thwack!* "Ouch!" The small chunk of granite bounced off of Kyusaku's skull, sending the scientist into the ground and the rock into Nuku Nuku's hands.
"What the devil was that?" Rynnosuke helped his father get up as the older man rubbed his head, but could offer no explanation as to where the projectile came from.
"Papa-san! Look at this!"
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*Thwack!* "Oof!" Taba hit the ground as the rock hit his head.
Eiko Rando glared at him from inside the car. "Come on, come on, time is money! This is no time for naps!"
Rubbing his now sore head, Taba tried to find the owner of the projectile. Finding no one, he looked at the rock's remains to see a small note lying in the rubble.........
"My life just gets worse every day," he mumbled as he opened up the piece of paper and started to read.
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*Zip* *Ktch* *Zip* In two automatic, reflexive motions, Ranma grabbed the incoming rock and returned it with one hand, his other occupied with the apartment listings. Unlike Ataru, Ranma didn't mind the hard work involved with paying a reasonable rent, but he had other needs, such as room to practice, acceptable distance away from all his former fiancees, and, most importantly, a "no cats" policy.
*Zip* *Ktch* *Zip* Once again he returned the projectile from whence it came, never even aware of its existence.
It was around the fourth throw that Ranma finally noticed the rock being thrown at him, and it was on the sixth throw that he stopped throwing it back to observe it. It was nothing but a plain granite stone, roughly spherical, probably hollow judging by its weight. Ranma shrugged and tossed it back once again. Since everyone he knew that he had to worry about had more unique projectiles (ranging from spatulas to ki blasts), he figured some loser throwing rocks was no threat to him.
*Zip* Reacting just in time, Ranma whirled around and deflected the stone just before it hit him, sending little bits of rubble flying.
Ranma's musing as to how his attacker got behind him so quickly was interrupted by a piece of paper floating down into his hands. Blinking, he opened up the note and read it.
[Congratulations Ranma Saotome! We have some news just for you! First, the good news: You have been approved to stay in our brand new state-of-the- art two story apartment complex indefinitely! This complex is over 4,500 square feet in a remote location on the outskirts of Tokyo! And best of all: It's free! All rent and utility costs are paid for!
Now for the bad news: Should you accept this once-in-a-lifetime offer, you may have to share the complex with several other tennants. Also, the tennants are responsible for purchase of food items. We apologize for this inconvenience, but it is necessary.
P.S. No cats are allowed.]
Ranma blinked. Then he rubbed his eyes. The letter still said the same thing.
He briefly entertained the thought that he was going insane, then shrugged. If he was already crazy then there was nothing to lose by checking it out.
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Ranma walked up to the massive house before him, not quite believing his eyes. He took the piece of paper out his pocket, double-checking then triple-checking the address.
"Who would just give a place like this to me?" Ranma was skeptical. He hadn't always been so critical and paranoid, but nearly every good event that ever happened to him before had turned into a horrible disaster. Casting a wary glance to either side, and keeping his senses ready for a cry of "Ranma, prepare to die!", he stepped past the front gate and walked up to the door.
There he saw some other guy standing and grinning at the house, two suitcases at his feet. He was fairly plain looking, with mussy brown hair and a skinny build. He was also raving to himself.
"Finally! A place I can call my own! No Lum! No aliens! No Ten! This is gonna be awesome!" Ataru, unlike Ranma, tended to take everything at face value, despite the fact that he too seemed to turn every blessing into a curse.
"You one of the tennants?" Ataru whirled around and saw a guy with a muscular build and black hair tied into a pigtail.
"Yeah. Nice place, eh? And for FREE!! This is great!" Ataru grinned and started doing a victory dance. "All the babes I want! There's no one to stop me! HA HA HA HA HA!!!" Ranma sweatdropped.
Ataru's evil-guy-with-a-plan laugh (TM) was interrupted by a "Yo!" Ranma and Ataru turned at the greeting to see two older guys walking through the gate. The first one was very distinctive, especially as he was clearly not Japanese. He had blond hair tied in a long ponytail and wore a red cap with a star on it. He also wore jeans and a sleeveless denim jacket, with the same star insignia on the back. The second man was Japanese, and a bit more plain looking. He had brown, combed hair and wore a simple button- down shirt and tan slacks.
Before they could make introductions, however, a bus pulled up and several other people piled out.
"Now Nuku Nuku, I want you to be on your best behavior while you're here, all right? Try to keep property damage to a minimum, understand?"
Nuku Nuku nodded, then sniffed and hugged Kyusaku. "I'll miss you Papa- san!"
Rynnosuke gave Nuku Nuku a hug himself. "Don't worry. We won't be far away. You have the address to our place, so you can visit, okay?"
Kyusaku nodded, then gave Nuku Nuku a pat on the head. "Those modifications I made should keep you safe while you're here. Have a good time!"
"Bye Mamo-chan!" Usagi gave her boyfriend a crushing hug as Mamoru took out his suitcases.
"All right, meatball head, all right." Mamoru was here on a mission. Usually when people offered deals like this that were too good to be true, they were. Since he was the one invited, he was automatically volunteered to check if this was some kind of new evil plot.
Tenchi peeked out the doorway of the bus to both sides. Nothing. He gave a sigh of relief, then berated himself for being so paranoid. Not that it was in anyway irrational to expect a love-crazed alien to suddenly appear before him and demand that he go back to the shrine. He had wanted to say goodbye to all the girls, but then Washu brought up how that had turned out when he went to Tokyo. So, at her suggestion, he had left a long and detailed note explaining that he was only going to be gone for a little while, etc. etc. Washu said she would handle the rest. So we really can't blame him for being afraid.
Ranma watched with disinterest as two dark-haired guys made their way through the gate and into the yard. The first was was wearing a t-shirt, shorts and sandals and had his black hair put into a short ponytail behind his head. He seemed nervous, as if he was expecting something to appear and grab him. The second was taller and had straight combed hair. He seemed to be scrutinizing the place.
They were followed by a very happy looking redhead, who jumped right over the fence without even thinking about it.
They eventually reached the rest of the group, and Terry decided that itroductions were in order. "Hey everyone, name's Terry Bogard, it's nice to meet you guys."
Taba nodded. "Yoichi Taba."
"Ranma Saotome."
"I'm Tenchi Masaki."
"Mamoru Chiba."
Nuku Nuku smiled broadly. "I'm Nuku Nuku!"
Everyone was waiting for the last guy to introduce himself, but he seemed somewhat occupied with leering at Nuku Nuku's breasts. Ranma jabbed him with his shoulder.
"Oh, uh, Ataru Moroboshi!" He seemed to slide ever so slightly toward Nuku Nuku. "I must say, I wasn't expecting to have to share this abode with such a lovely young woman." Ataru lowered his head in mock courtesy and gestured toward the door, deciding to go the charming gentleman route (it worked for Mendo).
"Thank you!" Smiling at him, and giving no indication that she knew what he was doing, she headed towards the house.
All around Ataru the others sweatdropped, both at Ataru's antics and Nuku Nuku's response. He looked at them, and gave them each a level glare. "She's mine!"
At once, they all blinked, then started toward the house.
"Hey, fine with me."
"All yours."
"As if I need another woman in my life."
"Stow it. I'm spoken for anyway."
"I won't get in your way."
Ataru stood there bewildered as each man passed him and entered the house. He had expected everything from laughter to jealous violence, but never that they would just give up on a babe like that! Realizing that he was being left behind, Ataru rushed to keep up with the others.
Everyone was impressed the moment they entered the apartment building, especially as many were used to spartan environs. None of them, however, could explain the man with a camera and the man next to him standing in the middle of the living room.
The man without any recording equipment, who was wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses, greeted them. "Ah! I see our contest winners have arrived!"
"Contest winners?" Tenchi looked at the others, and their faces were as blank as his. What contest?
The man chuckled. "Never mind that. You've all been selected to be part of television's newest craze: real life television!"
Ataru perked up. "We're gonna be on TV?"
The man laughed again. "Of course, of course! This complex is your new home, to use and abuse as you wish. Our nameless little cameraman here will simply follow you around day to day, tracking your actions and interactions, barring of course your business in the bathroom and bedrooms. Just pretend like he's not even here!" he patted the small man on the back, who sheepishly waved at the group.
"Wait a minute, you mean you're going to broadcast our personal lives all over Tokyo?" Mamoru was having second thoughts, as were a few of the others.
The man shook his head. "No no no. All over JAPAN!! You'll be famous!"
"All right! Sign me up!" Ataru shouted, and stepped in front of the group.
Some of the others had reservations about the idea. Ranma and Tenchi were afraid their suitors might track them through the show. Mamoru was afraid his secret identity would be revealed. Terry and Taba had nothing to be afraid of, but were generallly uncomfortable with the prospect of having their every move recorded and broadcasted. Nuku Nuku had no problem with any of that, so she nodded happily and stepped forward.
The man looked at the remaining five men. "Well?"
Ranma shrugged. "Well, I guess it's okay. It is just what I was looking for."
Terry nodded. "Yeah, its hard to find a good place to stay nowadays." Taba nodded his assent.
Mamoru would've left, but had a responsibility to make sure this wasn't an evil plot. "Okay."
Tenchi just sighed and decided to stay. He knew that Ryoko and Ayeka were going to show up eventually, no matter what.
The man laughed happily and clapped his hands together. "Excellent! Then the house is yours! Any questions?"
Terry raised his hand. "How come you gave us the invitation by throwing rocks at us?" The others all glared at him, remembering the incidents with the stones.
The man sweatdropped, though his expression didn't falter. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." He coughed, then clapped his hands again. "Now, before I go, there may be some things you might want to tell your roommates. To, say, avoid any unpleasant surprises?" He raised his eyebrow.
Mamoru bigsweated and lowered his head. Ranma sighed and stepped forward, grabbing a conveniently placed glass of cold water. "You guys'll find out eventually, so it's best I just show you this now. I've got this shapeshifting curse, see, that's activated by cold water, and is reversed with hot water."
Taba blinked. "Shapeshifting curse?"
Terry considered it, then looked at Ranma. "Well, come on, don't leave us hanging..."
Ranma poured the water on himself. Everybody's eyes' widened, except for Nuku Nuku's and the businessman's. The cameraman fell over before grasping the controls of the camera and focusing on Ranma's female form.
"Wow." Many were thinking the same thing, though only Ataru had had enough experience with such things to speak. Fantasies quickly came unbidden to his mind, and he started to mentally undress her... er, him.
"Ranma turn into girl!" Nuku Nuku was amazed. One of her new friends could change genders!
"Yes, yes, I turn into a girl. Could you guys stop gaping now?" He couldn't explain it, but he felt a sudden, overwhelming urge to smack Ataru around until he was black and blue.
The man in the suit took a steaming kettle from behind his back, and laid it on the table next to Ranma. "Very good. Next?"
Tenchi shook his head to clear it, then spoke up meekly. "Well, I don't turn into anything... but I'm kind of part alien..."
Ataru whirled around on him. "No! Not more aliens! Please tell me you don't breath fire or shoot electricity!"
Tenchi sweatdropped. "Um, I don't breathe fire or shoot electricity. There actually isn't much of a difference between Jurians and humans anyway." Well, there wasn't much of a physical difference between them, anyway. Besides, he wasn't even sure of the specifics himself.
The man nodded. "I see. Any others?" Mamoru could've sworn he was winking at him. "No? Well then, enjoy your stay here! By the way, you can just call me Max. If you need anything, my number's next to the phone. Ciao!" With that Max turned around, opened a nearby door, and entered the next room.
Mamoru cast a wary glance at Tenchi and the now-male Ranma. "Well I'm going to go get settled in. I've got a long day ahead of me tommorrow."
Taba nodded, then looked around sadly. He had wanted to bring Maya with him, but for some reason his letter had detailed strict instructions not to bring cats of any size, shape or particle composition into the apartment. How they could have known to include precautions against animals made of magnetic data was one of the things that made Taba wary of this deal in the first place.
Everyone dispersed, either to unpack or get used to their new surroundings. Ataru was about to follow Nuku Nuku to her room, when something tugged at the edge of his mind (this disturbed him greatly. Anything that affected his mind and wasn't female was considerable indeed). Acting on a hunch, he walked up to the door that Max had entered and opened it.
He blinked. "Broom closet. Figures."
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Author's notes.
Well, how about it? Is this a recipe for trouble, or what?
Now some of you might be thinking: 'Why did this maniac replace the characters from Kimagure Orange Road and Ah! My Goddess with Terry from Fatal Fury and Taba from Geobreeders? One: I know these two series. I don't know much about the others. Two: Terry's a martial artist and Ranma's a martial artist. I figured it'd make a nice plot device. Three: Who else here is sick of the punishingly routine comedy of Ataru glomping a shapely female and getting blasted? I don't see any reason why I should suffer having to write scene after scene of Urd zapping Ataru. Four: I'm the author and I can do whatever I want. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
(If any of you are unfamiliar with Geobreeders, Taba is a salaryman for Kagura, a private corporation that deals in the extermination of phantom cats, cats composed of computer code (or something) that can take the form of humans, walk through walls, take control of computers, etc. etc.)
Chapter 1
by Black Dragon
[email protected]
http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/fanficlair/index.html
Normal disclaimer applies. I wish I got paid for this. I really do. But I don't, so lay off, alright? Oh yeah, this story is sort of a remake of The Surreal World, a really neat fanfiction that was written a long time ago and then left to rot, apparently forever. Anyway, I'll be using characters from Ranma 1/2 (of course), Urusei Yatsura, King of Fighters (or more commonly, Fatal Fury), Sailor Moon, Tenchi Muyo, All-Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku, and Geobreeders, plus I'll probably throw in some more if I decide to continue this. So without further delay, on to the fic!
Chapter 1
Getting an Apartment Never Used to be Like This
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"I'VE HAD IT!!! YOU'RE ALL INSANE!!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!?!?!?"
The assembled group of fiancees, ranging from Akane to Kodachi, all stopped fighting at Ranma's yell, many of them freezing in mid-swing.
"Is airen okay?" Shampoo ventured to ask.
"No, I'm not okay! Dammit, I've had enough of this! I'm out of here! FOR GOOD!!" And with that Ranma sped out into the backyard and ran off, easily clearing the fence and jumping onto the rooftops that led away from the dojo.
Back at the dojo, the collection of girls looked shocked, as did Soun and Genma, who had been calmly playing shogi up until Ranma's outburst. Slowly, they all turned around to look at Nabiki, who was watching T.V. while munching on a cracker.
"He'll be back. I'd give him two, maybe three days tops," she said without looking back.
There was a collective sigh of relief (though Akane would later deny she was relieved), and the combatants turned back toward each other.
"Well, now that that's out of the way, you ready for round 2, sugar?"
"Shampoo flatten you with own weapon, spatula girl!"
"Ohohohohohoho! Shall you continue your futile efforts against me, peasants?"
"Shut up and fight!"
Ah, yes, the comforts of routine.
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"Ow...... argh...... hurt... bad...... h-help...... medic......" Ataru crawled into his house a burnt, blackened, smoking wreck, suffering from severe electric shocks, first degree burns, and many other various injuries.
All was right with the world.
Mrs. Moroboshi looked down at her son and shook her head. "All right, all right, I'll go get the bandages and antiseptic. Couldn't you have come a little earlier? Dinner's almost ready."
Ataru growled from his postion on the floor. "Well excuse me for being chased around by Lum and that little punk Ten! Not to mention trampled by the entire girls' tennis team!"
Mrs. Moroboshi rolled her eyes and tossed the medical supplies on the floor next to Ataru, going back to the kitchen to cook. "Honestly, if you simply wouldn't harrass all those other girls... *Sigh* why was I cursed with such an idiot for a son?"
Ataru's teeth grated together as he tried to restrain his anger and bandage himself at the same time. "I never asked for this! Why the hell shouldn't I be able to flirt with anyone I want? This is all Lum's fault!"
In his anger, however, he had wound the bandage much too tightly, and it only aggravated the pain he was feeling.
"And you! I get home looking like an ER extra, and the first thing you say to me is 'Why couldn't you have gotten home sooner'?! What kind of mother are you?!"
Mrs. Moroboshi simply ignored him, quite used to Ataru's occasional temper tantrums.
"Well, FINE!! If nobody cares then I'll just leave!" Furious, and in something of a daze from downing so many painkillers at once, Ataru stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him.
___________________________________________________________________________ _______
Terry Bogard plodded along the road aimlessly, occasionally looking to either side of the street looking for signs that offered places to stay or short-term jobs. He had finished his training in Nagasaki, having found the combatants there too far below his level to offer him any real improvement. Unfortunately, the closer he got to Tokyo, the harder it became to find a job and an apartment. There was also the problem of whether or not there was any worthwhile training around here.
'But first priority is finding that apartment.'
___________________________________________________________________________ _______
Tuxedo Kamen simply stared at the mass of rubble that had once been the place he called home.
The Sailor Senshi had won, and the enemy had been destroyed. Unfortunately, it had not been the only thing to be wiped off the face of the planet.
"My apartment..." He said slowly, as if on some level he really couldn't believe this had happened.
Sailor Moon, naturally, made every effort to comfort her boyfriend/fated lover, but couldn't seem to snap him out of his daze. "It's okay, Mamo- chan, we'll find you another place to stay." She broke off her line of speech briefly to glare at Minako, a.k.a. Sailor Venus, who flushed red.
"I said I'm sorry! My aim was off! I didn't mean it!"
Mamoru sighed. "Don't worry about it. I'll find another apartment. Somehow."
___________________________________________________________________________ _______
"R-Ryoko, Ayeka, could you two just calm down for moment?" Alas, Tenchi's pleas fell on deaf ears as the two aliens powered up in preparation for their latest catfight (as Noboyuki so laughingly put it).
Tenchi had learned from experience when to just give up diplomacy and run like hell. So he did.
Tenchi sighed sat down on the front porch of the house, trying to figure out what was being destroyed merely by the sound of it exploding.
"There goes a lamp... the TV... I'd have to say that was the couch. Tenchi sighed again and buried his face in his hands.
"They can be such a bother, can't they?"
Tenchi sweatdropped as he heard Washu's voice behind him. "Why can't they ever just get along?"
Washu grinned and chuckled. "Well, actually, they barely fought at all when you left to stay in Tokyo last month."
Now that made Tenchi think. The whole incident in Tokyo had arguably been the wierdest and most dangerous experience of his life, but it had been a whole lot more peaceful than any given day here.
'Hmmm. We could all use a little break,' he thought, 'but where would I stay?'
___________________________________________________________________________ _______
"NUKU NUKU!!" The robotic cat-girl jerked up from where she was enjoying a steamed fish at Kyusaku's bellowing voice.
Nuku Nuku stood up and bowed as Kyusaku ran into the room. "Hello Papa- san!"
Kyusaku was breathing hard from running, and was even now holding his hands on his knees and panting.
Rynnosuke followed behind him, though he wasn't breathing hard. "I told you that smoking would do that to you. You're breathing like an old man."
Kyusaku glared at Rynnosuke before turning back to Nuku Nuku. "Nuku, did you raid the docks yesterday to get some fish?"
Nuku Nuku blinked, then sweatdropped and stepped in front of the steamed halibut she was eating in a comical attempt to claim innocence. "Fish? What fish? Nuku Nuku has no fish!"
Kyusaku held his head in his hands. "Nuku, we've got to leave. We've been under attack by fisherman for the last hour or so."
Rynnosuke nodded. "They already harpooned the van."
Nuku Nuku hung her head low and looked ashamed. "Nuku Nuku is sorry."
Kyusaku nodded, not even attempting to look angry. It was near impossible to stay angry at Nuku Nuku anyway, unless you were trying to kill her. "It's about time we moved anyway. Staying in the same place for so long can be hazardous. I think it's about time we left, especially with Mishima Heavy Industries moving in on this area. I've already got a place lined up, but there's a problem: it's in a sparsely populated area, and the landlord is very fussy about property damage." No further explanation was necessary.
Nuku Nuku didn't bother trying to promise that she wouldn't get into any fights, as all present knew that simply wasn't possible, especially since she didn't start most of them.
Kyusaku's head creased in thought, and he lit up another cigarette. What were they going to do?
___________________________________________________________________________ _______
"DELETE!!" *Fzzzzzt* *ZAP!*
Takami Sakuragi let go of a breath she didn't realize she was holding, and slowly closed the laptop which now held the trapped phantom cat. She had panicked and gone into what Umi called her "reality escape mode", but had managed to snap out of it just in time to keep Taba from being reduced to cat food.
"Eep." Yoichi Taba still hadn't moved from the spot where he had frozen in terror, and wasn't showing any signs of budging.
Yuka congradulated the team on their good work, then bounced over to Taba to make sure he wasn't dead. None could tell from her manner, but it was he that she cared for the most, and would be truly devestated should he be hurt.
Somehow, he didn't quite appreciate her expression of concern.
"Why the hell didn't you shoot it?! I could've died!"
Yuka smiled upon seeing that nothing important was damaged. "Well, I saw Sakuragi waking up, so I figured, 'why waste an arrow?'." With that she patted him on the head affectionately and picked up the crossbow lying next to her as she walked to the van.
Taba followed after her, but there was a noticeable lack of "Are you insane? Do you want me to die?" and other such comments. After two years in Kagura, you learn not to waste your breath.
Sakuragi quickly apologized profusely for not having activated the wards earlier. "So, do you have any plans for tonight?" This was answered with a glare from Yuka, which Takami tried her best to ignore.
Now, Taba wasn't normally a dense or clueless guy, but he had just come from his 13th near-death experience that month, and was still a little dizzy. "Yeah, I was gonna keep looking for an apartment. I'm sick of living in Kagura's basement." Sakuragi gave a little sigh at his answer, but let the subject slide.
'Where am I gonna find a place to stay?'
___________________________________________________________________________ _______
There are times, it is said, that when the will of many souls cry out for justice, a group of heroes shall appear and slay those who serve the forces of evil. This has absolutely nothing to do with this story, but I thought it'd make an interesting side note.
There are other times, it is said by someone else, that when the will of a few souls strive for a single purpose, divine intervention shall grant what they desire. Or something like that. I'm not exactly a religious guy.
As it happened, one certain entity saw the looks of dispair of those people, and seeing how it didn't have anything particular planned for the next decade or so, decided to lend the mortals a hand.
___________________________________________________________________________ _______
Ataru sighed as he looked over the rent prices in the paper. More than he could afford. There was simply no possible way he could hold a full-time job to pay for it, especially since he considered himself allergic to hard work.
"Well, I better keep looking. It's not like the answer to my problem's going to fall out of the sky or anything."
It wasn't that Ataru didn't hear the telltale sound of an object falling out of the sky towards him, it was simply that his brain refused to acknowledge it in the futile hope that it might just be paranoia.
It was somewhat harder to ignore once it impacted his skull. *Thwack!*
"What, they're throwing rocks at me now?" Ataru grumbled as he got off the ground while rubbing his head.
Looking at the area where the projectile had fallen, Ataru discovered a broken-up rock with a piece of paper that appeared to have been jammed inside. How anyone could have gotten a wad of paper into a hollow chunk of granite was beyond him, and, naturally, he didn't give it another thought.
"What's this?" Ataru opened up the note and started to read it.
___________________________________________________________________________ _______
Terry slowly lowered his cap as his ears picked up the tell-tale sound of an object hurtling through the air towards him. Quickly judging its distance and speed, Terry turned around at the very last second, grabbing the rock and quickly crushing it in his hand. He looked around for his assailant, but if there was one, he had already fled.
Finally he took notice of the piece of paper within the dust of the rock. Scowling, he read it. Then his scowl turned into a confused expression, and he blinked. "I was expecting a death threat or a challenge letter, definitely not something like this..."
___________________________________________________________________________ _______
*Thwack!* "Ow!" Mamoru grabbed his head in pain as a rock the size of a baseball struck it from behind, launching him onto the sidewalk.
Usagi gasped and ran up to him to ask if he was alright. Then she started looking around to see who had thrown the rock. Except that nobody was there. Other than them, the street was deserted.
Mamoru growled and was about to kick the offending object away, when he noticed that it broken open on impact and spilled out a small sheet of paper. He picked it up and read it.
"Usagi! Come look at this!"
___________________________________________________________________________ _______
"Whoa! I'm detecting a space-time anomaly!" Washu's computer let out a shrill beeping noise, alerting its owner of the situation.
"Huh?" Tenchi turned his head to look at Washu, and was immediately struck in the head from the direction he was previously facing.
*Thwack!* "Ugh!" Tenchi was quickly sprawled out on the ground, his head spinning from the sudden pain.
Washu observed the rock, which had broken open upon impact to reveal a crumpled note. "Fascinating..."
Tenchi got up, rubbed his head, then opened up the note.
"What in the........?"
___________________________________________________________________________ _______
*Thwack!*
Nuku Nuku blinked and wondered where the noise had come from. Deciding that it wasn't important since it wasn't followed up by an explosion, Nuku Nuku ran to catch up with Kyusaku.
*Thwack!*
Nuku Nuku took a brief look around, but once again ignored the incident when it became clear that neither Arisa nor Eimei were around.
*Thwack!* *Thwack!* *Thwack!*
Nuku Nuku chose to ignore the last three noises completely.
Because Kyusaku had never bothered to put nerve sensors in her cranium, Nuku Nuku felt no pain from the impacts. And because the blows to the head weren't strong enough to damage her, her internal systems made no note of it.
Bereft of options, the rocks chose a different target.
*Thwack!* "Ouch!" The small chunk of granite bounced off of Kyusaku's skull, sending the scientist into the ground and the rock into Nuku Nuku's hands.
"What the devil was that?" Rynnosuke helped his father get up as the older man rubbed his head, but could offer no explanation as to where the projectile came from.
"Papa-san! Look at this!"
___________________________________________________________________________ _______
*Thwack!* "Oof!" Taba hit the ground as the rock hit his head.
Eiko Rando glared at him from inside the car. "Come on, come on, time is money! This is no time for naps!"
Rubbing his now sore head, Taba tried to find the owner of the projectile. Finding no one, he looked at the rock's remains to see a small note lying in the rubble.........
"My life just gets worse every day," he mumbled as he opened up the piece of paper and started to read.
___________________________________________________________________________ _______
*Zip* *Ktch* *Zip* In two automatic, reflexive motions, Ranma grabbed the incoming rock and returned it with one hand, his other occupied with the apartment listings. Unlike Ataru, Ranma didn't mind the hard work involved with paying a reasonable rent, but he had other needs, such as room to practice, acceptable distance away from all his former fiancees, and, most importantly, a "no cats" policy.
*Zip* *Ktch* *Zip* Once again he returned the projectile from whence it came, never even aware of its existence.
It was around the fourth throw that Ranma finally noticed the rock being thrown at him, and it was on the sixth throw that he stopped throwing it back to observe it. It was nothing but a plain granite stone, roughly spherical, probably hollow judging by its weight. Ranma shrugged and tossed it back once again. Since everyone he knew that he had to worry about had more unique projectiles (ranging from spatulas to ki blasts), he figured some loser throwing rocks was no threat to him.
*Zip* Reacting just in time, Ranma whirled around and deflected the stone just before it hit him, sending little bits of rubble flying.
Ranma's musing as to how his attacker got behind him so quickly was interrupted by a piece of paper floating down into his hands. Blinking, he opened up the note and read it.
[Congratulations Ranma Saotome! We have some news just for you! First, the good news: You have been approved to stay in our brand new state-of-the- art two story apartment complex indefinitely! This complex is over 4,500 square feet in a remote location on the outskirts of Tokyo! And best of all: It's free! All rent and utility costs are paid for!
Now for the bad news: Should you accept this once-in-a-lifetime offer, you may have to share the complex with several other tennants. Also, the tennants are responsible for purchase of food items. We apologize for this inconvenience, but it is necessary.
P.S. No cats are allowed.]
Ranma blinked. Then he rubbed his eyes. The letter still said the same thing.
He briefly entertained the thought that he was going insane, then shrugged. If he was already crazy then there was nothing to lose by checking it out.
___________________________________________________________________________ _______
Ranma walked up to the massive house before him, not quite believing his eyes. He took the piece of paper out his pocket, double-checking then triple-checking the address.
"Who would just give a place like this to me?" Ranma was skeptical. He hadn't always been so critical and paranoid, but nearly every good event that ever happened to him before had turned into a horrible disaster. Casting a wary glance to either side, and keeping his senses ready for a cry of "Ranma, prepare to die!", he stepped past the front gate and walked up to the door.
There he saw some other guy standing and grinning at the house, two suitcases at his feet. He was fairly plain looking, with mussy brown hair and a skinny build. He was also raving to himself.
"Finally! A place I can call my own! No Lum! No aliens! No Ten! This is gonna be awesome!" Ataru, unlike Ranma, tended to take everything at face value, despite the fact that he too seemed to turn every blessing into a curse.
"You one of the tennants?" Ataru whirled around and saw a guy with a muscular build and black hair tied into a pigtail.
"Yeah. Nice place, eh? And for FREE!! This is great!" Ataru grinned and started doing a victory dance. "All the babes I want! There's no one to stop me! HA HA HA HA HA!!!" Ranma sweatdropped.
Ataru's evil-guy-with-a-plan laugh (TM) was interrupted by a "Yo!" Ranma and Ataru turned at the greeting to see two older guys walking through the gate. The first one was very distinctive, especially as he was clearly not Japanese. He had blond hair tied in a long ponytail and wore a red cap with a star on it. He also wore jeans and a sleeveless denim jacket, with the same star insignia on the back. The second man was Japanese, and a bit more plain looking. He had brown, combed hair and wore a simple button- down shirt and tan slacks.
Before they could make introductions, however, a bus pulled up and several other people piled out.
"Now Nuku Nuku, I want you to be on your best behavior while you're here, all right? Try to keep property damage to a minimum, understand?"
Nuku Nuku nodded, then sniffed and hugged Kyusaku. "I'll miss you Papa- san!"
Rynnosuke gave Nuku Nuku a hug himself. "Don't worry. We won't be far away. You have the address to our place, so you can visit, okay?"
Kyusaku nodded, then gave Nuku Nuku a pat on the head. "Those modifications I made should keep you safe while you're here. Have a good time!"
"Bye Mamo-chan!" Usagi gave her boyfriend a crushing hug as Mamoru took out his suitcases.
"All right, meatball head, all right." Mamoru was here on a mission. Usually when people offered deals like this that were too good to be true, they were. Since he was the one invited, he was automatically volunteered to check if this was some kind of new evil plot.
Tenchi peeked out the doorway of the bus to both sides. Nothing. He gave a sigh of relief, then berated himself for being so paranoid. Not that it was in anyway irrational to expect a love-crazed alien to suddenly appear before him and demand that he go back to the shrine. He had wanted to say goodbye to all the girls, but then Washu brought up how that had turned out when he went to Tokyo. So, at her suggestion, he had left a long and detailed note explaining that he was only going to be gone for a little while, etc. etc. Washu said she would handle the rest. So we really can't blame him for being afraid.
Ranma watched with disinterest as two dark-haired guys made their way through the gate and into the yard. The first was was wearing a t-shirt, shorts and sandals and had his black hair put into a short ponytail behind his head. He seemed nervous, as if he was expecting something to appear and grab him. The second was taller and had straight combed hair. He seemed to be scrutinizing the place.
They were followed by a very happy looking redhead, who jumped right over the fence without even thinking about it.
They eventually reached the rest of the group, and Terry decided that itroductions were in order. "Hey everyone, name's Terry Bogard, it's nice to meet you guys."
Taba nodded. "Yoichi Taba."
"Ranma Saotome."
"I'm Tenchi Masaki."
"Mamoru Chiba."
Nuku Nuku smiled broadly. "I'm Nuku Nuku!"
Everyone was waiting for the last guy to introduce himself, but he seemed somewhat occupied with leering at Nuku Nuku's breasts. Ranma jabbed him with his shoulder.
"Oh, uh, Ataru Moroboshi!" He seemed to slide ever so slightly toward Nuku Nuku. "I must say, I wasn't expecting to have to share this abode with such a lovely young woman." Ataru lowered his head in mock courtesy and gestured toward the door, deciding to go the charming gentleman route (it worked for Mendo).
"Thank you!" Smiling at him, and giving no indication that she knew what he was doing, she headed towards the house.
All around Ataru the others sweatdropped, both at Ataru's antics and Nuku Nuku's response. He looked at them, and gave them each a level glare. "She's mine!"
At once, they all blinked, then started toward the house.
"Hey, fine with me."
"All yours."
"As if I need another woman in my life."
"Stow it. I'm spoken for anyway."
"I won't get in your way."
Ataru stood there bewildered as each man passed him and entered the house. He had expected everything from laughter to jealous violence, but never that they would just give up on a babe like that! Realizing that he was being left behind, Ataru rushed to keep up with the others.
Everyone was impressed the moment they entered the apartment building, especially as many were used to spartan environs. None of them, however, could explain the man with a camera and the man next to him standing in the middle of the living room.
The man without any recording equipment, who was wearing a black suit with dark sunglasses, greeted them. "Ah! I see our contest winners have arrived!"
"Contest winners?" Tenchi looked at the others, and their faces were as blank as his. What contest?
The man chuckled. "Never mind that. You've all been selected to be part of television's newest craze: real life television!"
Ataru perked up. "We're gonna be on TV?"
The man laughed again. "Of course, of course! This complex is your new home, to use and abuse as you wish. Our nameless little cameraman here will simply follow you around day to day, tracking your actions and interactions, barring of course your business in the bathroom and bedrooms. Just pretend like he's not even here!" he patted the small man on the back, who sheepishly waved at the group.
"Wait a minute, you mean you're going to broadcast our personal lives all over Tokyo?" Mamoru was having second thoughts, as were a few of the others.
The man shook his head. "No no no. All over JAPAN!! You'll be famous!"
"All right! Sign me up!" Ataru shouted, and stepped in front of the group.
Some of the others had reservations about the idea. Ranma and Tenchi were afraid their suitors might track them through the show. Mamoru was afraid his secret identity would be revealed. Terry and Taba had nothing to be afraid of, but were generallly uncomfortable with the prospect of having their every move recorded and broadcasted. Nuku Nuku had no problem with any of that, so she nodded happily and stepped forward.
The man looked at the remaining five men. "Well?"
Ranma shrugged. "Well, I guess it's okay. It is just what I was looking for."
Terry nodded. "Yeah, its hard to find a good place to stay nowadays." Taba nodded his assent.
Mamoru would've left, but had a responsibility to make sure this wasn't an evil plot. "Okay."
Tenchi just sighed and decided to stay. He knew that Ryoko and Ayeka were going to show up eventually, no matter what.
The man laughed happily and clapped his hands together. "Excellent! Then the house is yours! Any questions?"
Terry raised his hand. "How come you gave us the invitation by throwing rocks at us?" The others all glared at him, remembering the incidents with the stones.
The man sweatdropped, though his expression didn't falter. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." He coughed, then clapped his hands again. "Now, before I go, there may be some things you might want to tell your roommates. To, say, avoid any unpleasant surprises?" He raised his eyebrow.
Mamoru bigsweated and lowered his head. Ranma sighed and stepped forward, grabbing a conveniently placed glass of cold water. "You guys'll find out eventually, so it's best I just show you this now. I've got this shapeshifting curse, see, that's activated by cold water, and is reversed with hot water."
Taba blinked. "Shapeshifting curse?"
Terry considered it, then looked at Ranma. "Well, come on, don't leave us hanging..."
Ranma poured the water on himself. Everybody's eyes' widened, except for Nuku Nuku's and the businessman's. The cameraman fell over before grasping the controls of the camera and focusing on Ranma's female form.
"Wow." Many were thinking the same thing, though only Ataru had had enough experience with such things to speak. Fantasies quickly came unbidden to his mind, and he started to mentally undress her... er, him.
"Ranma turn into girl!" Nuku Nuku was amazed. One of her new friends could change genders!
"Yes, yes, I turn into a girl. Could you guys stop gaping now?" He couldn't explain it, but he felt a sudden, overwhelming urge to smack Ataru around until he was black and blue.
The man in the suit took a steaming kettle from behind his back, and laid it on the table next to Ranma. "Very good. Next?"
Tenchi shook his head to clear it, then spoke up meekly. "Well, I don't turn into anything... but I'm kind of part alien..."
Ataru whirled around on him. "No! Not more aliens! Please tell me you don't breath fire or shoot electricity!"
Tenchi sweatdropped. "Um, I don't breathe fire or shoot electricity. There actually isn't much of a difference between Jurians and humans anyway." Well, there wasn't much of a physical difference between them, anyway. Besides, he wasn't even sure of the specifics himself.
The man nodded. "I see. Any others?" Mamoru could've sworn he was winking at him. "No? Well then, enjoy your stay here! By the way, you can just call me Max. If you need anything, my number's next to the phone. Ciao!" With that Max turned around, opened a nearby door, and entered the next room.
Mamoru cast a wary glance at Tenchi and the now-male Ranma. "Well I'm going to go get settled in. I've got a long day ahead of me tommorrow."
Taba nodded, then looked around sadly. He had wanted to bring Maya with him, but for some reason his letter had detailed strict instructions not to bring cats of any size, shape or particle composition into the apartment. How they could have known to include precautions against animals made of magnetic data was one of the things that made Taba wary of this deal in the first place.
Everyone dispersed, either to unpack or get used to their new surroundings. Ataru was about to follow Nuku Nuku to her room, when something tugged at the edge of his mind (this disturbed him greatly. Anything that affected his mind and wasn't female was considerable indeed). Acting on a hunch, he walked up to the door that Max had entered and opened it.
He blinked. "Broom closet. Figures."
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Author's notes.
Well, how about it? Is this a recipe for trouble, or what?
Now some of you might be thinking: 'Why did this maniac replace the characters from Kimagure Orange Road and Ah! My Goddess with Terry from Fatal Fury and Taba from Geobreeders? One: I know these two series. I don't know much about the others. Two: Terry's a martial artist and Ranma's a martial artist. I figured it'd make a nice plot device. Three: Who else here is sick of the punishingly routine comedy of Ataru glomping a shapely female and getting blasted? I don't see any reason why I should suffer having to write scene after scene of Urd zapping Ataru. Four: I'm the author and I can do whatever I want. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
(If any of you are unfamiliar with Geobreeders, Taba is a salaryman for Kagura, a private corporation that deals in the extermination of phantom cats, cats composed of computer code (or something) that can take the form of humans, walk through walls, take control of computers, etc. etc.)