A/N: Demo doesn't get enough love. Soldier doesn't get much either. I wrote this out of boredom, because summer holidays do that to people.

Men aren't built for flying

In the heat of the battle, explosions and screams rocking the serenity of the desert I rocket-jumped into the air, less gracefully than usual. Too late I noticed a demoman flying over the rooftops towards me.

"Demoman, away!" called the demo who was soaring through the air, scrumpy in hand.

"Look out!" I screamed. He crashed into me full force and we landed on top of an abandoned sniper tower, quite far from the rage of war.

"Look at what you've done, you drunk scot! How are we supposed to get down?-" I noticed that on collision, I dropped my rocket launcher. Seems like he dropped his as well.

"- And neither of us have any weapons either! We're in the middle of enemy territory!"

"Ach, calm ye self. how was I tae know ye were jumpin' as well?" Demo said, taking a long drink of his scrumpy. "Ye want some?"

"No!" Irritated, I started calling for my teammates to try and get us down.

"They cannae hear ye. We'll be up 'ere for a while. Now do ye want some scrumpeh or nae?" He said. I took a gulp. It was extremely strong but I manned up and prevented myself from coughing like a wimp. I tried handing the bottle back but he refused: "I have another 'ere. Keep tha' one. It's yours now."

Drinking some more I started feeling the effects of alcohol. I think Demo did too, even if he was already piss-drunk.

"Ye know, if ye were a lass, I'd kiss ye. Not a peck on tha cheek like that bloodeh spah, full on wit' tongues an' ev'rethin'."

"Same 'ere." I slurred, brain swimming in alcohol and drinking some more. Almost immediately after taking the bottle away from my lips he kissed me, just like he said he would. He had some mad tongue skills. I flailed around for a bit before giving in to his advance. He pinned me down on the roof of the post. My helmet fell off at some point and he started unhitching my belt and throwing it aside. I started panicking again.

"We-we're both men! Not fags! How is it even possible? I -Mmph..." He just kissed me again. Letting myself be led by the dark and handsome Demo (hey, there are NO GIRLS on the team, or anywhere near here. Everyone is desperate for something.) My shirt came off, and his somehow disappeared revealing statue-like muscles. We were both sweating under the gleam of the setting sun as Demo started taking my pants off. I had to muster up the courage to take his off.

Soon we were both only in our boxers, smooching and sweating with slight groans escaping my throat.

"Are ye ready?" He half-slurred.

"A man always has to be ready." I answered, too drunk to notice. Time wore on and at around midnight we stopped messing around and were gazing up at the stars. Let's hope no one saw us, especially not the enemy spy.

Then the demoman exclaimed "Dominated, you whiny rocket-jumping american!" For once I didn't mind.

/The next morning.../

"You guys were stuck up there the whole night? Why the f*ck didn't you tell anyone?" said Scout.

"We tried, Maggot. You were too busy taunting to notice that we weren't there to save your sorry asses from another defeat!"

"Ach, I should have noticed. Usually I need to heal you after a failed rocket-jump." Medic replied.

/Sniper's van/

"Heh heh, Spy is gonna love these videos I took last night. I think Demo and ol' Solly have some explaining to do!"

THE END