Not Real

Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games, but I'd love to own Peeta :)

Gone.

As I watch the hovercraft disappear with the remains of the only person I am sure that I have ever loved, the pain and loneliness hit me and I collapse to my knees. She had been calling for me, and I had been too slow, and now it's too late. She's gone, and I'm here, and my first instinct is to give up... to lay down in this dirt and die like the dog I am.

I did not want this.

I cannot face this life without her. My hands tremble as they claw at my eyes. I don't want this. I don't want this. She can't do this to me...

She's gone, and she took everything I am with her.

And then, I hear it, someone crashing through the forest. Good. Who will it be, Brutus or Enobaria? Maybe Finnick... I lean my head back in anticipation, exposing my neck for a death blow. I close my eyes, taking one last look at the world. This is good. I could be with Katniss now.

"Run, you idiot!" Johanna Mason, tiny, slim and slender is heaving on my collar with the force of a wild animal.

My eyes pop open. They meet her eyes, frantic, on the point of lunacy. Her head is swiveling back and forth. "They're coming!" She shouts.

I get to my feet, towering over her. I could easily bend her over my knee and snap her in two if need be. How dare she come and interrupt my death? My two seconds of serenity in this place... I stop my hands from going to her throat. For the first time, I notice her trembling. She's frightened. Of what, I cannot fathom, but if it is something to bring her to her knees, then I will make her leave me. She should run, she should live. It is not my place to bring her into death with me. I will not kill no more. I am nothing now, I won't follow the Capitol's rules anymore. I am a broken human being with nothing else to lose. Let whatever is scaring Johanna come to me. I welcome it. I try to shrug her off of me, but she's got her fist locked so tight that her knuckles are turning white. "You have to move!" She screams at me.

"No." The word escapes my mouth in a whisper, and I lower my eyes to the ground.

Johanna stares at me. "We're dead, then. We're all dead."

I push her off of me. "You go. You win. Find Finnick." I didn't plan on leaving this arena alive, and the thought of a lonely Victor's Village with just Haymitch as company is too much to bare. Death would be an easier, sweeter release. I'm certain that Gale will look after Katniss's family. There is no need for me to return.

Johanna's scowl deepens, and she opens her mouth to say something, when she is tackled by someone in a white suit.

A Peacekeeper?

I turn and stare momentarily into the face of another before my vision turns to black.