Written for two prompts on the glee kink meme, infused with another from the glee angst meme (because I don't write anything but angst, and I will never write a PWP). There's no smut in this chapter, but there will be in some later chapters, once I figure out how to write it without sounding like I've never had sex with a male before, which is kind of true, but still.

This is not part of the L-verse. Yes, Blaine's parents are named Lola and Cailean, just like his parents were in Love211, but I don't see the point in changing their names just because it's a different story. With that in mind, this is an AU that completely disregards the L-verse in every sense except Blaine's parents are still assholes.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize, including the format (which is supposed to be Twilight Zone-like, if you couldn't tell). I don't own Kurt, Blaine, or Glee. I made up Lola and Cailean Anderson in my L-verse series, and I've kept the names because I'm too lazy to look up more names, but really, I don't feel like owning them either.

Chapter I: Stay Beautiful

Kurt Hummel was thisclose to accepting that daily physical bullying would basically be part of his life now. But he hadn't expected for about five of them to corner him into the dumpsters in the first day. Still, all he could do was throw out a clever one-liner none of them would understand and hope that someone would come along and save him.

"Hey!"

Well, what do you know? There might be a God after all.

Blaine Anderson was thisclose to accepting that Kurt had been badly bullied his entire life. But he hadn't expected to wake up on a couch at five in the morning by his mother throwing up on him and his father demanding that the mess be cleaned up by the woman too hungover to move. Still, all he could do was fantasize about hitting back as he made breakfast that no one would appreciate.

When he set down the bowls with shaking hands, he noticed the newspaper his father held. It was dated September 1st, 2009.

He had gone back in time to almost two years ago, it seemed.

"So, Blaine, have you given any thought as to which school you're going to this year?" his mother asked. She was sober for once, and for this he was grateful.

"Yes," he said, nodding emphatically. Quietly, he bid Wes and Thad and David and Nick and Jeff goodbye in his heart. "I want to go to McKinley High School."

"You want to go back to public school?" she seemed concerned, and Blaine realized she felt guilty for having been so drunk this morning. "Blaine, are you sure? You've only just recovered from Sadie Hawkins."

Sadie Hawkins. He remembered he had skipped the rest of freshman year to complete physical therapy. It felt like a million years ago and yesterday, but Blaine swallowed his fear and nodded. Now, it really was yesterday.

Before he could say anything, Mr. Anderson spoke—or rather, growled—up, "The boy's got to man up sometime, Lola."

Lola shrugged weakly and left the table with her bowl of spaghetti. She had spent last night huddled in the bathtub, probably, since it was the last place Cailean Anderson was likely to look.

"I'll go pack," Blaine said, grabbing his backpack and an outfit. This was his chance to do it right. Every way he had hurt Kurt in the past—ignoring his crush, giving him terrible advice, saying he wasn't sexy, the list went on and on—he had an unexpected chance to undo all of them, and he was going to take full advantage.

The drive to Lima from Westerville was far longer than he remembered, or perhaps he was just more impatient. He knew he had finally found McKinley when, upon arriving an hour early, he spotted a boy outside the window dressed in fashion two years too late. Or perfectly up-to-date, if his father hadn't been so drunk he picked up a two-year-old paper.

He hadn't picked up a two-year-old paper. Blaine slammed the car door shut and walked toward the bullies knowing full well he was about to get in trouble.

"Hey!" he yelled. "Leave him alone!"

Okay, so maybe there wasn't a God, but there was an incredibly cute boy helping him wipe yesterday's avocado off his face.

"Blaine," he said with that oh-so-charming smile that made Kurt's knees knock against each other.

"K-K-Kurt," oh great, now he sounded like Tina. And this boy probably wasn't even gay. And even if he was, what were the chances he would reciprocate? Actually, probably pretty high, given that there were no other out boys in Lima. Then again, he wasn't exactly out either.

"I'm new here," Blaine confessed, blushing. Oh, sweet Gaga, even his blushes were charming. What is wrong with you? You're acting like a besotted schoolboy!

Although, in all fairness, that was exactly what he was.

"Oh," was all Kurt could manage to say.

"So, um, I heard there was a Glee Club here," Blaine said.

Kurt smiled (what he hoped was) a seductive smile and nodded. "Are you thinking of trying out?" he asked flirtatiously, striking a suave pose against the sink that became decidedly less suave once he slipped and slid to the floor.

Blaine laughed, not cruelly, and offered a hand to help him up that Kurt gratefully took. "Yeah," he spoke as if were forbidden.

"What are you planning to sing?" Kurt asked.

Blaine thought reflectively on how Kurt had treated him before, when the paler boy still had a crush on him. It was definitely more restrained than how this Kurt was treating him now.

Karofsky hasn't kissed him yet, Blaine realized. I can be the first, undo my earlier mistakes. He shuddered as he thought about Rachel-gate and Jeremiah-gate. None of that, Blaine, not anymore.

"I was thinking we should do a duet," Blaine said. He was thisclose to suggesting "Candles," but remembered at the last second that this was not 2010. '"Just Dance,' by Lady Gaga."

Kurt looked like he was going to fall to the floor again. Blaine led them both out of the bathroom with their fingers interlocked.

One cherry-flavored slushie later, they were both back in the bathroom again, wringing red out of their clothing.

"I hope we get in," Kurt said nervously. Blaine had been feigning nervousness as well, before realizing that Kurt needed someone to help calm him down, not work him up.

"We will," Blaine said confidently. "You sang beautifully, Kurt."

Kurt smiled and hugged Blaine tightly. "Thank you," he said with a huge smile. "I was just feeding off of your energy."

Blaine was thisclose to coming in his pants, and only managed a half-coherent "Guh" before the door opened and Will Schuester gave out the names of everyone who had made it into Glee Club.

It seemed a nicer way of saying it than "Will Schuester typed up the names of everyone who had put their name down on the audition list."

"Well, would you look at that," Blaine smiled at Kurt. "We made it in," he whispered in Kurt's ear.

Kurt turned to him nervously and bit his bottom lip in that oh-so-charming way that made Blaine's knees knock against each other. "Yeah, we did."

"Do you want to get some celebratory coffee?" Blaine asked suddenly.

Kurt blinked. "What?" Oh, sweet Perry, even his blinks were charming. What is wrong with you? You're acting like a besotted schoolboy!

Although, in all fairness, that was exactly what he was.

"Coffee?" was all Blaine could manage to say.

"Sure!" Kurt piped up enthusiastically.

When they did get to the Lima Bean, however, Blaine made his second close-call of the day.

"I'll have a medium drip, Kurt will have," Blaine forced himself not to answer. He turned to Kurt instead, with an incredibly nervous smile that Kurt didn't understand as he trounced forward to order while Blaine wiped the sweat off his brow. Disaster averted. Now, if he could only avert the ones that were sure to crop up later….

Blaine seemed to like everything he liked: Vogue, Patti LuPone. He had even compared one of the Cheerios who had slushied him to Eve Harrington, if Eve Harrington had been Latina. If Kurt hadn't loved him before, he definitely did now.

"But listen to me talk about me!" Blaine exclaimed. "What about you? What do you like?"

Kurt nearly choked on his coffee. "Exactly the same things as you!" he squeaked before pressing a napkin daintily to his lips. Dear Gaga, had his voice always been this high? Did Blaine like that? He made a not to consciously lower his voice whens speaking to Blaine. "It's nice to have someone to talk to," he batted his eyelashes before cursing his idiocy and backing off.

"I like your voice," Blaine said, winking. "Don't change it on my account."

Yeah, Kurt Hummel was definitely in love.

Okay, so maybe Blaine was only mildly interested in the things Kurt liked. Still, from what Kurt had told Blaine a few weeks ago (or two years later) he had been so starved for love that he fell for the least unpleasant bully at his school. And if bringing up a few topics he knew Kurt was crazy about made him a bad boyfriend, well, at least he could be one, for Kurt.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Kurt asked.

"Sure," Blaine said, heart thumping.

"Are you gay?"

Blaine blushed and nearly choked on his coffee.

"Sorry," Kurt reddened to the tips of his ears. "I shouldn't have asked. Stupid question. Ignore it."

"I am," Blaine said with an affectionate smile.

Kurt smiled and looked like he was trying not to look as pleased as he did. Then his smile faded. "How did you tell your father?"

Blaine's smile faded too. "I didn't," he confessed. "At the Sadie Hawkins dance last year, the boy I went with and I met a few jocks outside the dance floor, and, um, they beat the crap out of us."

Kurt gasped.

"I went with a boy, and it was pretty obvious what happened," Blaine confessed. "My parents didn't prosecute because…" uh-oh. Lie, Blaine, lie! "The police were hostile."

Kurt nodded sympathetically. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

"It's okay," Blaine smiled. "It led to me getting coffee with a very sexy boy," he winked at Kurt, hoping against hope that he was not being too forward.

"I just don't know how to tell my dad," Kurt sighed.

"Maybe tell your mom first?" Blaine suggested.

Kurt's eyes filled with tears. "My mom died when I was eight," he confessed. "I miss her more than anything."

"I'm so sorry, Kurt," Blaine said, putting one hand over both of Kurt's. "I don't know what you're feeling, I can't imagine, but I'm always willing to lend an ear if you want one."

Kurt's smile broke through his tears. "Thanks, Blaine," he smiled back. He leaned back with a flirty smile. "Where have you been all my life?"

"In a cupboard under the stairs."

Kurt laughed, thinking it was a joke. In reality, Blaine often hid wherever he could to escape his father's wrath and his mother's ignorance. The stairs provided some of the best shelter before his father had cottoned on to it, but Kurt's laughter was adorable, so Blaine let it slide. He considered Kurt for a long time. "Come to my house tonight," he said suddenly. He knew his mother would be passed-out drunk by now and his father would be at work until late at night.

"Um, why?" Kurt asked.

"I want to show you my guitar," Blaine turned on the charm, and it worked wonders. Kurt followed Blaine on the bus. When they got to Blaine's house, he led them up to his room—carefully passing over the prone woman on the couch—took out his guitar, and started to sing a love ballad he had been working on.

"Kurt's blue eyes are like a jungle; he smiles, it's like the radio.
He whispers songs into my window in words nobody knows.
There's pretty guys on every corner that watch him as he's walking home.
Saying, does he know? Will you ever know?"

Blaine met Kurt's shocked, flattered, and blushing face and smiled encouragingly. Kurt looked away, embarrassed.

"You're beautiful, every little piece, love. Don't you know?
You're really gonna be someone. Ask anyone.
When you find everything you looked for. I hope your life
Leads you back to my front door. Oh, but if it don't
Stay beautiful."

This time, when Blaine looked up at Kurt, the paler boy met his eyes.

"Kurt will find another way to be the highlight of my day.
I'm taking pictures in my mind so I can save them for a rainy day.
It's hard to make conversation when he's taking my breath away.
I should say, hey, by the way…."

When Blaine started singing the chorus again, Kurt joined him quietly. Then Blaine grew nervous, and Kurt was mesmerized by the sincerity and seriousness of his tone.

"If you and I are a story that never gets told.
If what you are is a daydream I'll never get to hold,
At least you'll know."

When they got to the last verse, Kurt sang alone and Blaine simply strummed the guitar. When the song stopped, their eyes met. It was a scene straight out of a cheesy 80's movie when their faces slowly, steadily leaned closer until their lips touched.

"So, you'll be my boyfriend?" Blaine asked hopefully with a goofy grin on his face.

"Of course!" Kurt was over the moon.

Blaine gave a relieved chuckle, and then made a fatal misstep. "Great. Sure beats your stepbrother, huh?"

Kurt blinked at him. "What?"

"Oh, uh, I thought that football player was your stepbrother," Blaine covered quickly. "He looked like he didn't want to throw us in the dumpster."

Kurt looked contemplative. "His father died in the Army, I heard." His face lit up, as if a brilliant idea had struck him. "I know! I'll introduce his mom to my dad! Dad's lonely, and he could use some more help in the garage. Besides, it might encourage Finn to get off my back." He hopped to his feet. "I should go," he said balefully.

Blaine nodded and took his hand. They walked to the bus stopped and made small talk until the automobile arrived. Both stood and looked at each other awkwardly.

"You sure you have enough money to get home?" Blaine asked worriedly, pulling out his wallet.

"Don't," Kurt stopped his hand. "You already paid for coffee."

Blaine chuckled, put his wallet away, and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll see you later," he half-stated, half-prayed.

"Sure," Kurt nodded vigorously. They let go of each other's hands and he walked backwards up the bus. Once he sat (at a window seat) he waved until he could no longer see the polite boy.

Blaine didn't stop waving until he could no longer see the bus. When he turned around, he saw his father's SUV pull up into the driveway and gulped. Even as he ran home, knowing it was too late, he hoped that his father wouldn't be angry.

Those hopes were quickly shattered.

People are thisclose to accepting that miracles don't exist. But they don't expect that it takes less than five words to change that. Blaine Anderson wasn't anyone special. Kurt Hummel wasn't anyone special. But what they did for each other was extraordinarily special. And so the universe decided to grant them one of their most fundamental wishes: the wish to not be alone. The wish to have someone remind them that they are beautiful and plead for them to stay that way.

I know that no school district in the U.S. would ever accept a transferring child the day before school starts, but if Figgins can hire Terri as the school nurse with no medical qualifications, he can accept a transferring child the day before school starts. Besides, "where the hell are all the teachers?"

Relax, the two people who seem to be reading Let Me Tell You a Story. I'm not abandoning it and will update later today. I'm stretching myself here writing two stories, but -whew- let me see if I can.