Malfoy,

I really am loathe to ask this of you, since I'd rather simply sort it out myself - what with you being an insufferable prat, and all - but I need your help on a work related matter than I believe only you can give.

I need some information on the Transylvanian diplomats in control of the Kalyvski case; there have recently been some disappearances in the South Croydon area that seem to be linked vaguely to that old vampire outcast movement. I've tried every Auror contact we have, and nobody seems to have a clue where to find them. Considering they are supposed to be the main magical diplomats, they really are completely untraceable.

Thanks for your help - if you even bother to give it.

Yours,

Potter.

Potter,

It's no bother. I really am thrilled to be offering my humble assistance to the Savior of the wizarding world, I can assure you. Especially since you asked so nicely.

The Kalyvski case? Well, I should be able to put you in contact with my counterpart in the Transylvanian Ministry, if that's helpful. He didn't work closely on the case but I believe he knows several people who did; I'll send a couple of owls later today and see if I can't find someone who's willing to help you track down the people you want.

I'm surprised they're letting you handle this one, Potter; the last I heard about it, we were on tentative footing with the vampires. Usually delicate cases like this require a lot more subtlety and tact than you possess.

Regards,

Malfoy

Malfoy,

Do you always have to be so sarcastic? It wouldn't hurt to be nice for once in your pathetic little life, Draco.

Thanks for the help, owl be as soon as you have any information. Three witches and a wizard have now disappeared from a similar area, and it's looking very, very connected in Auror terms.

Funnily enough, in a working environment, Malfoy, I am full of both tact and subtlety. And they are not letting me, I am letting myself. That is what being head of a department entails, although I suppose you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?

Potter.

Potter,

Now, now, it was only a friendly joke. I apologise for causing offence, I was under the impression that we were both adult enough to take a bit of banter lightly.

Three? I'm assuming by the word "missing" that you've found no bodies… What sort of time frame are we looking at, here?

I received an owl back from the Romanian foreign diplomat, Patrescu. He's willing to correspond with you and see if your Transylvanian diplomats really are that hard to trace; after all, they supposedly work for him.

Yes, I'm sure you've matured greatly since school. And yes, I had heard; do you really think Harry Potter's promotion to Head of the Auror Office would go unnoticed? I was simply expressing my surprise that someone of your status and celebrity could work on covert cases without jeopardizing yourself.

Regards,

Malfoy

Malfoy,

I don't think you entirely understand the concept of "banter". You should probably look it up.

We're preferring to put a positive stance on it for the mean time. This is all just speculation currently, you see. We could simply be dealing with four people that have decided to up sticks and leave for no reason for all the evidence that we have. It has all occurred over the space of a month, by the way.

Please forward my details to this Patrescu fellow. I'd rather not have to send messages through you each time I need to speak to him.

If you hadn't noticed, Malfoy, the wizarding world is taking far less interest in the antics of Harry Potter these days; I am far less of an enigma now, it seems.

Regards,

Potter.

Potter,

Have it your way. Scarhead.

Of course, you and your Aurors may just be overreacting… It seems odd that vampire attacks wouldn't turn up any bodies, and usually they're far sloppier than to leave no evidence.

I already have; he should be sending you an owl very soon. One step ahead of you, as always.

Something that I assure you, Potter, I really don't understand. I myself find you utterly fascinating; I can't for the life of me fathom why the public aren't hanging off your every movement any more. I'm sure you're thrilled. You've never handled the limelight very well.

Regards,

Malfoy

Malfoy,

Stop referring to me as Scarhead. Of all your charming nicknames for me, that is the one that I cannot abide by.

Funnily enough, Malfoy, you are not always one step ahead of me, or are you forgetting, oh I don't know, the seven years of school together?

You should start paying attention to how much of a stuck up idiot you sound all of the time. There is a little thing called courtesy, perhaps you should look it up, because you clearly haven't heard of it before.

Potter.

PS: At least I'm famous for the right reasons.

Potter,

I apologise, Oh Saviour. Would you prefer Four-eyes? Gryffindork? I'm open to suggestions… Besides, I quite like your scar. It's – excuse the pun – striking.

Six years. I believe you were otherwise occupied for the seventh.

Oh, believe me, I can be perfectly courteous when I choose to be. I am a Malfoy, remember? I simply choose not to expend the extra effort on you. Consider it a compliment; I feel I can be myself around you.

Malfoy

P.S. Ouch, Potter, that really hurt. In fact, you may have mortally wounded me. Again.

Malfoy,

Grow up.

Potter.

Potter,

Now, now, is this really the time for sexual innuendos?

Malfoy

Malfoy,

Stop thinking so highly of yourself. Not every bloke in the universe fancies you.

Potter.

Potter,

That's very true. Some of them haven't met me yet, and some are straight.

You, however, fall into neither category.

Malfoy

Malfoy,

You really are sure of yourself, aren't you?

Potter.

PS: What makes you think I fall into neither category?

Potter,

Are you saying I shouldn't be?

Oh, come on. You're practically drowning in denial here. I saw the way you used to look at Oliver Wood – and Charlie Weasley, come to that. (Not that I blame you, they're both fine specimens.) And you were certainly paying me a lot of attention when you came to drop your son off in the holidays.

Malfoy

Malfoy,

Well, you come across as a bit of a pretentious asshole sometimes.

I think anybody, man or woman, would check out Oliver Wood, let's be honest. On the other hand, let's say I am that way inclined. Who says I have to be inclined towards you?

I was not paying you att- fuck, ow, ow, that hurt you stupid little bastard.

Potter.

Potter,

Honestly. It really doesn't do to be seen speculating about my arse. Anyone would think you had an ulterior motive.

I see your point, there, and I'll concede this time. Oliver Wood really is sex in human form, if you'll excuse my crudeness.

Aha! My truth charm says so. As proved in your last letter. I have to say, "inclined towards" is a delightfully delicate way of putting "would like to fuck into the floor".

Don't worry, I won't tell anyone your little secret. That would be in neither of our best interests.

Malfoy

Malfoy,

I do not have an "ulterior motive", as you put it. I think all those years living with your father influenced your suspicious side a little too much there.

I would definitely agree with your analogy of Wood; I'd incline towards that, if you catch my meaning.

What would be in our interested then, Malfoy?

Potter.

Potter,

Denial again, oh Golden One?

Hardly. My Malfoy breeding has improved my perceptive and manipulative nature no end, and I am just the right amount of suspicious, thank you very much.

Would you really? Well then, is it such a jump to think that you might, as you put it, incline towards me? What's the difference between one attractive male and another, hmm?

I fear that explicitly telling you would cause you to fly into the nearest willow tree, and I'm loathe to be responsible for the loss of your remaining brain cells.

Malfoy

Malfoy,

I will continue, you slippery snake of a Slytherin; I have no ulterior motives.

Your Malfoy breeding has also improved your levels of idiocy and pretentiousness. You indeed are far too manipulative, it's no wonder my son is such good friends with yours; Scorpius clearly tricked him.

I do not incline towards you, Malfoy. Your is too blond, and your clothes too expensive.

You're ever going to let the willow tree incident drop, are you? Also, I will have you know that I am perfectly bright, thank you very much.

Potter.

Potter,

Be glad there was no truth charm on that letter, or you'd have a severe black eye right now.

Your son clearly has better taste in friends than you do. There's no need to be so resentful of the fact. Besides, the boys have a real friendship there, it's surprisingly nice to see; I can't find any reason to ruin that for them, when our own school years were so harsh.

Don't be so ridiculous, Potter, there is no such thing as too blond or too expensive. You must just be jealous of my hair. And useless at choosing a half-decent wardrobe – some things never change.

No. I'm not. Especially since, during the incident that caused to fly so recklessly into the tree in the first place, you were unable to make other things drop. If you know what I mean.

Malfoy

Malfoy,

I've had my share of black eyes; it wouldn't have bothered me. Fair share of broken noses too, just to say with complete irrelevance.

I shan't begrudge them of their friendship, really. I must agree in all honesty; I am glad that they didn't follow our example. Things would have been very different if we hadn't fought for all those years. It's a very odd thought.

I'm not jealous of your hair. Mine's fi- ow. Okay. So I'm slightly envious that you don't look like you've wrestled a whomping willow every morning.

I have no idea what you are talking about, by the way. No ide- OW.

Potter.

Potter,

Perhaps if you didn't irritate people quite as much, they would be less likely to hit you. May I point out that no one has ever broken my nose before. It's probably because I don't cultivate the habit of eavesdropping on other people – just to say, with complete irrelevance. Of course.

What-ifs make my head hurt, Potter. Besides, I'll admit that Mr and Mrs Weasel were vital to your… successes. And our rivalry was fun.

Slightly envious? I'll confess myself disappointed. But I do feel appeased for the "too blond" comment you made earlier.

Good luck retreating back into denial, after this, Potty.

Malfoy

P.S. You could be happy if you just admitted it to yourself, you know.

Malfoy,

I do not irritate people! Forgive me for using my fame, but the wizarding world adores me, and you know it. Jealous, Malfoy?

Our rivalry… fun? Not a word I'd use to describe it, have to admit. Painful, terrifying, precarious? Those words are far more appropriate.

Okay, maybe very envious. Just to cheer you up.

Maybe denial's a lonely place.

Potter.

PS: One day. Maybe.

Potter,

Malfoys are not jealous of anyone. And you certainly irritate me.

Oh, have a sense of adventure. It started out amusing, at the very least, and when we actually got the chance to kill each other… well, we're both still here, aren't we?

Why, thank you for caring so much about my good mood, Potter.

I'm glad you've seen the light. Oh Golden Prat.

Malfoy

P.S. After everything you did, I hardly think you should have to put it off much longer.

Malfoy,

Aren't the things that irritate us the most often the things closest to us?

I'm sorry, for everything I did to you at Hogwarts. Mainly that one thing.

Potter.

PS: Does it still hurt?

Potter,

You could say that. You always did know how to get under my skin.

You were defending yourself, Potter, and we were both ignorant boys trying to stay alive despite the war we'd been forced into. You've already apologised. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry for acting like a complete prick at school, too.

Draco

P.S. It used to; now it's just a scar. Like yours.