Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo and Mahou Sensei Negima is owned by Ken Akamatsu Sensei.

I am writing this story for the enjoyment of it and in no way plan to claim any credit except for the occasional O.C.

"Regular speech"

"Technique(s) being called out or said for the first time"

(Translation/asides)

'Thoughts'

Ulquiorra was the death embodiment of Emptiness. He would not believe in anything his eye could not see, least of all a heart. It was his absolute belief until the moment of his death. As he faded away he began to see a heart in his own hand. The fates decreed that this would be his final lesson in this world. However, only in this world does his tale end. A new world now awaits him; one where he will fully discover the meaning of having a heart. The love of a family and the love others shall fill that void and grant him a heart of his own.

Authors Notes:

Alright gonna keep it short and sweet to get to the story.

First off a reviewer asked about the Lanza de Relampargo and if Ulquiorra still has it. In response see the ending author's notes of chapter two to get your answer. Now how he achieves this and when he uses it is not gonna be revealed till later.

Also the contest will last till chapter 6 and the winning theme song will be used for the opening of chapter 7 and on. However, I am now looking for an ending theme as well. The winner of that contest will receive the same rewards as the opening theme winner. Now what I mean by theme song is finding a good song then selecting a portion of it while describing scenes that match up with the lyrics.

Alright, now let's get this show on the road. Our duo had quite the interesting first day, but at least their second one should at least be a little calmer, right?

Yeah, I can't really make myself believe it either.

xxxxx Story Start xxxx

The sun slowly rose over the horizon in order to bring a new day to the school of Mahora. This would normally still be a time of sleep and rest for most beings and this was true.

However, that is most beings, not all of them.

One of the beings who were an exception to the rule of sleep could be found in a forested section of the school, although the most a normal person would be able to see of them would be a streak bouncing around the trees and the faint flashes and swishes of steel in the early morning air.

If one were to take a closer look they would be shocked to find that not one of the trees so much as shivered from the rebounding blur.

Suddenly the blur seemed to hang in the center of the trees and then come straight down with the song of steel accompanying it.

At the same time a leaf could be seen gently falling directly in the path of the incoming blur. Then the blur hit the ground with a sound no louder than the falling leaf which touched the ground unmarked.

Ulquiorra knelt in that position with his sword pointing down in a double handed stab. The utter stillness and calm breathing from Ulquiorra made it look like he had been praying rather than just finishing an intensive sword routine. He then slowly opened his eyes as he calmly stood up and re-sheathed his blade.

Ulquiorra looked around the silent tree grove he had chosen to train in, as memories of his first training ground arose. The nostalgia was short lived as he prepared for a final round of his training before getting ready for his classes.

As he prepared to start his analytical mind began reviewing his meeting with his apparent house mate Evangeline A.K. McDowell or as she was better known the "Queen of the Night" or the "Doll Master."

xxxx Flashback xxxx

Ulquiorra had arrived outside the cabin of where he was supposed to be staying. It was located pretty deep in the forest of the school and had a very homey feel to it. Ulquiorra supposed it was one of the arrangements made between Evangeline and the Headmaster in return for her staying here and not wrecking any havoc.

Ulquiorra had of course heard of the legendary "Undead Mage," during his time as a bounty hunter. She had wracked up one of the highest, if not the highest, bounties in the magical world. Then one day she simply vanished and no-one had heard from her since. At least that's what the lower circles of the magical underworld said.

'She must have made a deal with the head master here for safety.' Ulquiorra concluded as he approached the door. However, something did not seem right as he raised his hand and knocked. Why was Eva staying here for so long when she had successfully evaded or killed any bounty hunter who had come after her?

Before he could ponder the matter anymore the door was opened by the second of his two house mates. She had long light green hair, light green eyes, as well as an emotionless face. However, what Ulquiorra noticed the most though were the mechanical looking antenna where her ears should be.

"Ulquiorra-sensei," Chachamaru said in a calm monotone not unlike Ulquiorra's own, "My master and I have been informed that you would be staying with us. I have prepared your room. It is through the door on the far left."

"Thank you." said Ulquiorra, "Though from what I have heard, your master was quite reluctant to let me stay."

Chachamaru showed no reaction to this out side of a simple nod as she opened the door to let Ulquiorra in.

The first thing that Ulquiorra noticed upon entering the room was the copious amounts of dolls and stuffed animals. Also, the feel of the cabin was just as homely as the outside was surprising Ulquiorra a bit as he believed that the infamous Evangeline would try to distance her self from the image of an ordinary girl. Then again, with her title of the "Doll Master" these seemingly harmless toys probably had some nasty surprises in each of them.

"Hmm… I see you're my new roommate Sensei."

The young voice, while sounding calm, carried with it the feel of a sneer and alerted Ulquiorra to the presence of the owner of the cabin. Ulquiorra turned around to face one of the most feared mages in the entire magical world.

Evangeline McDowell had bright blond hair that went almost past her waist in length and possessed very bright green eyes. That combined with her young appearance, cute face, and the night gown she was currently wearing would make it very hard for any one to believe her to be anything, but a little girl.

Ulquiorra however, possessed observational skills that made him Aizen's lead scout. He noted that the truest sense of Evangeline's age could be found in her eyes. They contained a sense of knowledge, history, and depth that most people could never hope to gain. Her posture in the way she regarded him and her tone when speaking to him where far older than what her age suggested.

Ulquiorra noted that she seemed to be waiting for him to speak and so he did,

"I am and I must say that your accommodations are quite luxurious for a student McDowell-san."

Evangeline gave a nonchalant shrug at the observation before turning her full stare to Ulquiorra before speaking once more,

"I will make this clear now sensei. If it was up to me you would be sleeping out in these woods and it is only because that senile old dean assured me that you would not annoy me to the point of murder that I am allowing you to stay. However, make no mistake, if I find your presence here disturbing I will not hesitate to kick you out, Deans orders or not."

The entire speech had been made in a calm and very stern tone which would have shocked most people that a student would take such a tone against a teacher and the dean.

Ulquiorra though, simply nodded his head before speaking, "Very well McDowell-san. Now if that is all you needed to say then I will bid both you and Karakuri-san good night." With that he walked towards the door Chachamaru had showed him and walked through it.

Ulquiorra could feel the questioning stare on his back from Evangeline. She was no doubt confused by his lack of response to her rude tone. Ulquiorra had dealt with far ruder people and had a far higher tolerance for it. However, he noted one thing that raised many questions in his mind.

'If the strength of the seal on her magic is any indicator than it would seem that McDowell's-sans reason for staying here maybe be closer to incarceration than anything else.'

Ulquiorra pondered the short list of people who would be able to bind her and for what reason, before pushing the matter aside as something to speak to the dean about it if it became necessary.

xxx End Flashback xxx

Ulquiorra had slept undisturbed that night and had awakened before the rise of the sun. He silently slipped out of the cabin making no more noise than a gust of wind. The house was silent as not even Chachamaru had awakened. Ulquiorra left a short concise note explaining that he would get his own meal on the kitchen table before heading out. As he stepped out the door he felt a presence behind him and turned around. He saw no-one, but the dolls staring back at him. Ulquiorra lingered in the door way for a few more seconds before turning and calmly walking out.

Ulquiorra noted the ever increasing sunlight and concluded he had about thirty more minutes, before he had to prepare for his younger brothers class, as well as his own class.

Today was going to be his first day as the new P.E. teacher. Ulquiorra was not worried though as he had plans for dealing with the rambunctious nature that seemed rampant in this school.

A shiver passed through all of the students of class Three-A.

xxxx Later xxxx

Ulquiorra had completed his sword routine exercises and was now calmly preparing the area that was going to be used for his first class. He checked his watch as he moved the last of the equipment into place. He then looked over the various exercise equipment stations from the pole jumps, the hurdles stations, and more. All were placed with in the center ring of the track that ran the course of the gymnasium.

A chorus of voices alerted Ulquiorra to approach of his very first class, before the students of 2-A entered the gymnasium. The entire class was wondering what their new sensei was going to be like when he was the one in charge instead of simply assisting. They all took note of their teacher in a standard Gym uniform consisting of a long pair of pants and sweater, with a silver whistle hanging around his neck. They all started to attention when Ulquiorra gave a small cough.

"Hello, as you all already know my name is Ulquiorra Cifer-Springfield. While out of class or in homeroom you may refer to me as Ulquiorra-sensei, in this class however you will refer to me as either Cifer-sensei or Springfield-sensei whichever is easier for you to pronounce." The class was slightly taken aback by the monotone that Ulquiorra spoke in, but got over it as Ulquiorra gestured behind him explaining the variety of exercise equipment behind him.

"From what I have gathered almost every member of this class is involved with a club or sport either directly or indirectly. Knowing this, I believe that I have set up a way for each of you to make full use of your time here, no matter your club."

The class all exchanged confused and slightly apprehensive glances with one another only to instantly quiet down when Ulquiorra raised his hand. With the silence returned he continued,

"We will start by first stretching for ten minutes, then each of you will run a mile around the track course." this caused grumbles to erupt from the class before Ulquiorra continued, "However, since I know that not all of you are in clubs that revolve around sports you will have twenty minutes to complete the mile. Afterwards you may use the remaining time to use any of the equipment in the center of the track if there is a station you wish for me to add talk to me either in home-room or after this class ends. Now begin with deep leg stretches."

The entire class began to stretch when Ulquiorra had finished speaking, some of them grumbling about having to run a mile for their first gym class, while other just stoically accepted it.

To be accurate it was the entire class minus one who began stretching. Ulquiorra scanned over the class and noticed one of his students was missing. He pulled out the handbook that Shizuka had given him and flipped appropriate page and identified the missing student as student number 1, Sayo Aisaka. Ulquiorra took notice of the two notes scribbled near her, the first being the date of 1960 and the other that when in English and homeroom not to change her seat.

Ulquiorra made a note to speak with her after classes had ended. After all, ghost or not, she should at least attend the class. Thinking of the coming conversation reminded Ulquiorra of another student that he needed to speak with. Said student had been shooting him a dirty look the entire time she had been in the class.

Of course knowing Negi's sleeping habits and that perversity factor that seemed stuck to him like glue, Ulquiorra supposed that Asuna had the right to give him the stink eye.

Thirty minutes later the last of the students were coming off the course and were heading towards one the work out stations that had been prepared. Ulquiorra took note of some of the more unusual choices such as Zazie Rainyday, Chao Lingshen, and Kū on the balance beams. That would not have been so unusual if not for the fact that the girls would routinely leap of their own balance beam and onto one of the other ones all simultaneously and without warning. Also Makie Sasaki was putting on quite the performance with the gymnastic ribbons.

Ulquiorra then looked over the rest of the class as they each performed some talking while doing so.

"Kagurazaka-san," Ulquiorra called out suddenly making the orange-haired girl raise her head up in confusion, "I seem to have forgotten the water cooler. Would you please help me in bringing it out?"

Though people would be correct in saying that Asuna was not the smartest one in her class, being the leader of the baka-rangers being proof of that, she was able to pick up the message that Ulquiorra wanted to speak with her. Well, that was fine because she had a few things to say to him as well. So she nodded yes and went with him. The two quickly made there way to the storage locker and located the cooler.

Asuna filled it with ice while Ulquiorra turned on the fountain. That done he turned to face Asuna who was looking rather cross, before it turned into a look of surprise as Ulquiorra gave a small bow.

"Kagurazaka-san I would like to apologize on behalf of my brother and I would also like to apologize for myself as well."

Asuna blinked at the apology before turning slightly red as she recalled how exactly she had woken up that morning with Negi far beyond the boundaries of personal space and right before her dream really got go… As her thoughts went back to her dream her face turned even redder. Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow at the sudden deepening of her blush, believing it to be caused by anger.

However, it was from embarrassment and a little bit of shame that was causing Asuna's face to resemble a glowing stop light.

xxx The dream/flashback xxx

"So you wanted to say something to me, Asuna-kun?" said Takamichi, while in front of him was a flustered Asuna, as she was twiddling her fingers looking down, Negi behind her with a cauldron that had the words 'Love' inscribed on it.

"T… Takahata sensei, I… I made you some tea," Asuna said as she held out a cup to her not so secret crush, "It's really good"

"Hmm, that's a… love potion, isn't it?" commented Takahata as Asuna blushed "You know you don't need to use a love potion on me" he said cupping her face.

"Ehh?" said Asuna. But then knew one thing, she had to strike, and now "Y-yes...Takahata-sensei...I want to...say...I always loved you!" she said and then there was a bit of silence.

Takamichi merely smiled as he moved his face closer and Asuna's blush deepened as she also closed her eyes as their lips met. Asuna thought she went to heaven as she reached up to cup her beloveds head.

However, when she touched it she noticed something off. The hair she was feeling was thicker, longer, and wilder than Takahata-sensei's short clean cut. She drew back slightly and opened her eyes and found herself staring into a pair of cat like jade eyes.

A very small smile graced the features of Ulquiorra-Cifer-Springfield as he stared at her.

"That was good for a practice run Asuna. Now we shall try the real thing."

Asuna's eyes widened as Ulquiorra gently, but firmly pulled her closer for another kiss.

Asuna's eyes flew open to the sight of the younger brother of the man in her dreams, in her bed with her kissing his forehead.

The resulting yell made both of her roommates join her in consciousness.

xxxEnd flashback/dreamxxx

Asuna quickly shook her head to dispel the memory as she turned to glare at her sensei while he turned off the faucet of the now full cooler.

"Yeah, why the heck didn't you tell me that you little brat of a brother had that kind of sleeping habit?" Asuna demanded

The silence from Ulquiorra set Asuna's temper up a few more bars, but before she repeated herself Ulquiorra's answer stopped her.

"In all honesty I had forgotten about it." Asuna shot a glare of disbelief before speaking once more,

"How can you forget that? ! You live with him don't you?"

"Actually, I have to work to help pay the bills for our family and I was often away from our house for large portions of the time."

Asuna became quiet when she heard this as she and Ulquiorra grasped the cooler to bring outside.

"Alright, I'll forgive you, because it seems like you really weren't trying to play some sort of joke, but I'm still mad at Negi." Asuna declared with a determined expression.

"Very well." Ulquiorra agreed knowing that it would be up to Negi to get Asuna's forgiveness.

Luckily Negi was a smart kid and Asuna's anger seemed be the kind that dissipated as quickly as it gathered. As long as nothing else went wrong all would be forgiven.

Right?

xxxx Later xxxx

'This has to be some sort of curse or perhaps the intervention of some perverted deity.'

These were Ulquiorra's thoughts as he saw Asuna once again stripped down to her undergarment by Negi sneeze.

The English class had started off well enough with Ulquiorra catching the eraser before it hit his little brother in the head again. There had been no fights between Asuna and Ayaka, and Negi seemed to have gained enough confidence in the class to begin asking the class questions without stuttering.

It went down hill when Negi chose Asuna to translate a passage he had just read into Japanese as best she could. Asuna did not react well to that and accused Negi of picking on her before Ayaka had begun teasing her and offered to read the text instead. Asuna had responded in a huff stating that she would read it and began her attempt to translate.

Her translation skills left much to be desired.

Her reaction to Negi's blunt assessment to her skills and the classes teasing about her less than stellar academic record, understandably lead to her becoming rather upset. As soon as Asuna picked up Negi Ulquiorra felt both a sense of DéjàVu and a forewarning bemusement that usually signaled his younger brother's unique circumstance. Sure enough a sneeze echoed a second later. Fortunately Negi had covered his mouth which had lead to Asuna clothes simply being blown off instead of shredded, but still leaving Asuna in an embarrassed, righteous rage and Ulquiorra with that same question of why Negi's magical mishaps were always something one would find in a hentai.

Logically Ulquiorra knew why it happened. Negi's primary elements were wind and thunder. He also had a very large amount of magical power in that small frame of his. It was equivalent of storing five- gallons of soda pop into a one litter jar. Magic is a very emotion driven energy and with Negi's sheer amount it made sense that it would sometime slip out when he became agitated.

What did not make sense was why when it did spill out it was only wind and why did it stop with garment stripping? It should, in theory, have launched Asuna through the wall and broken every bone in her body. Morbid and a tragedy yes, but still one that would make sense.

Ulquiorra put the question in the back of his mind as he contemplated contacting the headmaster to see about a room transfer for his younger brother. Ulquiorra was sure he could literally see flames of anger in the orangettes eyes.

xxxx Later xxxx

"I've done something terrible to Asuna-san again." Negi whined from his spot on the fountain steps as Ulquiorra stood next to him. Ulquiorra could hardly argue with that fact as it was true. However, he attempted to at least make Negi feel a little less guilty in his own unique way of course.

"That is true Negi, however consider it this way. While what happened today was indeed embarrassing for Kagurazaka-san, it is a better alternative then your sneeze breaking every bone in her body or flashing frying her with your thunder element."

Negi shivered at the gruesome scenarios that his brother depicted, but he also saw that his brother was trying to make him feel better, albeit in a rather morbid fashion. However, while he did feel a better he still felt rather guilty. Ulquiorra then informed Negi that there was something that needed his attention, but that he would meet Negi later in the class.

Before he left he offered some final words of advice,

"Negi you must think of a way to gain Kagurazaka-san's forgiveness back on your own, however her anger seems to be one that dissipates as easily as it comes, so simply keep calm when you do speak with her."

Negi nodded with a determined look on his face as he said his goodbye's to his aniki.

With that done Ulquiorra extended his pesquisa and began making his way towards his objective.

xxxx elsewhere xxxx

Sayo Aisaka let out another sigh as she floated around one of the many gardens located on campus. She would often hang around them, when not in her class, as they brought a sense of familiarity and comfort to her. She supposed that when she was still alive she may have been in the gardening club or some other outdoor club.

Whatever the reason the sight of the gardens always helped cheer her up whenever she was feeling down, which happened often unfortunately. Not surprising considering the fact that no one could hear or see her. Her thoughts turned to the two new teachers of her class.

Like the other girls she had thought Negi to be extremely cute and had tried to hug him like the others on the first day. Unfortunately, reality denied that as she passed right through him, with him being none the wiser.

However, it was Ulquiorra-sensei who really got her hopes up. During the entire class he seemed to flick his eyes towards her the entire time. She had been ecstatic believing him to be able to see her, but brought herself to reality by telling herself that he was probably just wondering why there was an empty seat there.

She had hoped that this year would be different, but it seemed that it would be another lonely year.

"Pardon me, Aisaka-san, but I need to have a few words with you."

Sayo let of a small shriek as she literally flew up into the air in surprise before turning around to find the form of the elder of her new teachers. Sayo then realized that he was staring right at her and seemed to be waiting for her to answer.

Hardly believing what was happening Sayo asked in a wavering tone,

"U-u-ulquiorra-sensei... can y-you see me?"

Ulquiorra simply nodded yes before attempting to ask his intended question before a sudden cry from Sayo interrupted him.

"You really can see me!" and with that, Sayo literally launched herself towards the former 4th Espada with tears flowing from the sides of her eyes. Right before impact she recalled that she would simply pass through him, but to her surprise, she did not pass through Ulquiorra. Instead she was caught by the said person.

"And you can touch me..." said Sayo more to herself and her tears were now falling like a waterfall.

By now Ulquiorra was feeling quite uncomfortable. He had never really learned to deal with crying girls. Nekane never really cried in front of him and the few other females he did know only shed tears when they were in extreme amounts of physical pain. So he did what he usually did when Negi was younger and upset and simply let Sayo hug him and waited for the tears to stop.

He did not have to wait long as the loud wailing soon became a quieter sniffling as Sayo pulled back, her red eyes now even redder. She wiped away the remaining tears and turned her gaze to stoic features of her sensei.

"Are you feeling better now Aisaka-san." Ulquiorra asked.

Sayo blushed a bit as she answered in a bit of an embarrassed tone, "Yes sensei. Sorry, I got carried away."

Ulquiorra simply waved the matter off as he studied her. She wore an older version of the schools uniform and looked to be the stereotypical ghost with a ghostly tail instead of legs and the rest of her was pale and see through. She was different than the plus souls of his world as he could see no chain on her. From the info he knew, he knew that Sayo must have died at least sixty years ago and had not hollowfied.

"Umm… Ulquiorra-sensei you said that there was something you needed to talk to me about." came the inquiring voice of Sayo bringing Ulquiorra back from his musings.

"Yes, I noticed your absence from my gym class this morning can you please tell me why?" Ulquiorra asked.

Sayo shivered as she suddenly felt the temperature drop and now knew what her presence caused in others. Her sensei had asked in his usual tone and gave no indication of anger, but Sayo would swear that she saw shadows being where shadows had no right to be.

"I-I-I'm sorry sensei, but I did not think that you could see me and I can't really do any of the exercises." Sayo explained in a rushed tone.

Ulquiorra was quiet for a moment before replying, "True enough, but still it would be better for you to attend."

"A-a-alright Sensei." agreed Sayo now less nervous now that the strange shadows were gone.

"I need to head back to the classroom Aisaka-san you may accompany me if you wish." Ulquiorra said as he turned around and began to head towards the school.

"Oh, uh alright Sensei." called Sayo as she floated after him a smile on her face as she realized that not only did she now had someone to talk to, she had also found someone to be her friend.

xxx In the school xxx

Ulquiorra, now accompanied by Sayo, was making his way towards his classroom when he stopped. Sayo noticed this and was about to ask what was wrong when she also heard something and turned around.

A few seconds later a green blur rushed past both of them screaming,

"HiAnikiByeAniki." before it turned around the corner and disappeared.

Sayo blinked in confusion and was about to ask what just happened when a chorus of yell drew both her and Ulquiorra's attention.

"Negi-sensei~~~!" called out the four girls that came barreling past them.

Ulquiorra and Sayo both slowly blinked as they looked at the retreating backs of the love struck girls.

"Ulquiorra-sensei!" another voice called out causing both Ulquiorra and Sayo to simultaneously turn look back down the hallway to se the approaching form of Asuna.

"Sensei, follow me Negi's gotten himself in trouble again." Asuna shouted as she ran past. Ulquiorra nodded as he began to follow her he began to follow after her. Sayo also started to come along as well but stopped at the quiet voice of Ulquiorra.

"Aisaka-san I would suggest meeting with me later. I have a feeling that Asuna-san, my brother, and I are going to require a long… talk after this."

Ulquiorra had spoken in nothing more than a quiet monotone, but Sayo once again was sure she saw unnatural shadows forming. She quickly agreed and promised to see him tomorrow as she flew away. Asuna on the other hand felt a shiver go down her spine and took a look back at Ulquiorra only to see his normal impassive look.

"Kagurazaka-san how exactly did my brother ingest a charm-love potion?" Ulquiorra calmly asked as they ran.

"Um… heh, funny story, Negi made it to apologize, but I didn't want it. He kept insisting and I may have gotten a bit upset with the brat and may have forced him to drink it." Asuna said with a weak smile and chuckle. She began to sweat nervously at the dead silence as Ulquiorra simply stared at her.

"Kagurazaka-san when we find Negi, you, he, and I are all going to have a discussion on the importance of not brewing illegal potions and the simplicity of simply disposing of said offered potion." Ulquiorra stated.

Asuna once again felt a chill race down her spine, but now it was akin to standing bare naked in an Antarctic blizzard. She simply nodded as she turned to face forward and put on the speed when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked back to see Ulquiorra sensei and was about to ask him what he was doing, but was interrupted.

"Kagurazaka-san I sense Negi in the library. We are getting there now. I would suggest that you brace for the nausea."

Asuna was confused for a second before she recalled what happened yesterday and paled.

"W-w-wait the library is not that far if we keep running we'll get there in less than fi-"

The rest of her sentence was cut off as they both disappeared.

xxxx Out side the Library xxxx

The two then reappeared outside the library doors with Asuna once again struggling to keep all of her organs in their proper place. Fortunately the nausea passed much quicker today so she was soon able to glare at her unrepentant sensei.

"We could have just walked normally ya know." Asuna growled.

Ulquiorra was about to offer his own rebuttal when a loud yell came from within the library.

"That Honya-chan (Honya=Library)!" exclaimed Asuna as she rushed to the doors. She tried to open them, but found that they were locked. Ulquiorra was about to step forward and solve that problem when a loud crash emitted from behind the closed door.

"That damn brat." Asuna growled before she launched a vicious kick that sent the door flying of its hinges. Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow at the surprising strength from the average sized girl before following her. Takahata had not been kidding when he said that she had a strong kick. Inside the impressive library Nodoka had passed out from fright from the door flying and Negi on all fours panting from fright.

"Asuna-san that was really dangerous!" Negi exclaimed.

Asuna let out a nervous chuckle as she saw that her actions resulted in the fainting of her fellow classmate.

"Negi are you alright?" asked Ulquiorra as he came up from behind Asuna.

"Yes, Aniki I am." Negi said getting up.

"Good. Then you can tell me why exactly you decided to make a highly restricted charm potion, after I take Miyazaki-san to the nurses office and you and Kagurazaka-san fix up this mess?" stated/asked Ulquiorra.

The room seemed to drop a few degrees and even the unconscious Nodoka shivered. Asuna took a look at Negi to see him completely void of any color and shaking like a leaf in the wind. Asuna took a sudden dry gulp and set about to fixing up the library while Ulquiorra took Nodoka to the nurse's office. Asuna then shook her head as she tried to convince her self that Negi's reaction to the impending talk was simply part of his tendency to overreact to things. After all he was a goody-good so he probably felt worse about getting in trouble then normal people especially with his brother. Yeah that was it.

Right?

xxxx Later xxxx

Konoka staggered slightly as she headed to her room. She could not recall much in the past hour or so only remembering that she had been talking to Asuna, then the next thing she knew she was in the hallway with a few of her classmates.

"Konoe-san, are you feeling alright?" a familiar monotone voice spoke from behind her.

"Oh, Ulquiorra-sensei, don't worry I just feel a little out of it today." Konoka spoke as she turned around to give her sensei a reassuring smile. The smile dropped from her face however, when she saw that Ulquiorra was not alone and her expression turned into one of worry and surprise.

"Oh my gosh, Negi-kun, Asuna what in the world happened to you two? ! ?"

Looking back at the mentioned two, it became obvious what had alarmed Konoka. Both Negi and Asuna were holding onto one another with vice-like grips and were trembling like leaves. They both appeared to be in a shock of some sort as both their eyes just stared straight ahead and muttering something.

Ulquiorra did not seem overly concerned with their shell-shocked state and simply stated that they would be fine within an hour. He then asked if Konoka was well enough to lead her two roommates back. Konoka nodded, her own dizziness dispelled by worry, as she grabbed unto Asuna who followed her with no resistance along with Negi. Konoka then said goodbye to Ulquiorra as both headed back to their respective abodes.

As Konoka hurried to the apartment, she could now hear what both Negi and Asuna kept muttering and repeating to themselves,

"I'll think my actions through. Oh, Lord why does it have so many teeth and so much blood?"

"I'll be a good boy, just no more blood."

Konoka gave a worried glance at the two of them while making a note to ask Shizuna-sensei if anything was spreading through the school.

xxxx Later that Night xxxx

As Ulquiorra had predicted, both Negi and Asuna came out of their shocked states in an hour. When Konoka had asked what had happened they both just clammed up and shook their heads violently. Konoka decided to try and pick up the subject at another time. Asuna and Negi soon calmed down and began acting normally, but seemed on edge and kept shooting glances at shadows as though expecting something to come out of them.

Later after dinner, the library group had come over under the pretense of seeking help for a question they had on the material. This went on for a few minutes before Ayaka suddenly burst in and invited herself to the "study session." This lasted until Asuna became fed up with the noise and booted the invaders out. With that done Konoka explained to Negi that the building they were in was home to all of the middle-school student lived and the second years were on the 5th and 6th floors.

Then Asuna began to sniff the air and as soon as she neared Negi she recoiled with her hands covering her nose and let of a cry of,

"You stink!"

"Please forgive me, Asuna-san" said an embarrassed Negi while Konoka let of a small giggle at the confession, "I just really, really don't like taking baths, but Aniki says that they are important, and he will always chases me to make sure I take one."

"Well, you should, you stink like a dead guy!" complained Asuna, then turned to the door "I'm going to call for Ulquiorra-sensei to-"

"That will not be necessary, Kagurazaka-san."

Both flinched slightly at the sudden voice as they recalled what happened earlier, before they turned around.

Said girl and the little boy turned to the door and saw, to the latter's horror, Ulquiorra in black swimming trunks holding a bucket in one hand and a sponge in the other, on his right shoulder he carried two towels while the bucket was filled with bottles of shampoo and other stuff. Asuna and Konoka felt their faces heat up as they stared at his compact, but chiseled form. However, both Konoka and Asuna noticed a multitude of scars on his chest some more visible than others, but all standing out in a stark contrast to his alabaster skin.

Negi for his part attempted to run past his brother and out of the apartment to the door…only to get caught in an iron grip as Ulquiorra carried his younger sibling in his free arm as if he were a sack of potatoes.

"Negi, how long as it been since you took a bath?" Ulquiorra asked while Asuna watched, knowing what the kid was going to say.

"W-well with...everything that has happened I forgot about taking one so I-!" he stopped stuttering when Ulquiorra headed out with him towards the bathhouse.

"Negi, I was going to give you the option of at least coming with me with some dignity, but now I will simply drag you kicking screaming if need be." Ulquiorra said with his calm voice as he dragged his younger sibling who was struggling in his grip, but it proved futile, and while this was happening both Konoka and Asuna were trying very hard not to laugh. Well, Konoka was while Asuna felt that this made up for stripping her earlier today.

''Wait for me, I wanna help!'' said Asuna, while she grabbed her own towel and bathing suit.

Konoka just waved them of ''I'll go after you guys!''

xxxx In the bath house xxxx

"Aaaah." cried Negi as he was thrown ungracefully into the large pools. He resurfaced a second later to give a hurt glare to the snickering Asuna and the unrepentant looking Ulquiorra. A few moments later both Ulquiorra and Asuna were scrubbing away at Negi.

"Negi if you wish to start being treated as an adult then a good place to start would be dealing with this reluctance to proper hygiene." Ulquiorra calmly stated as he scrubbed at Negi's arms.

"Yeah, stinky-sensei." Asuna chimed in grinning at the payback she was getting as she scrubbed Negi's hair.

Negi let out a few inarticulate grumbles before looking and noticing for the first time the sheer size and majesty of the bath house. Asuna grinned with pride as she explained that the baths could house a hundred people at once and were exclusive to the students of 2-A.

After that they talked for awhile and Ulquiorra learned that Asuna's parents were dead, apparently Konoka's grandfather had been helping the girl, but she did not want to be dependent on him, something Ulquiorra could understand. So she had taken up doing a paper route job to earn money for tuition. Ulquiorra was actually impressed with her desire to pay her way instead of mooching off of others; it was very similar to his own situation with Nekane and Negi.

This story had also affected Negi like most sob stories do and the two had gotten into something of a fight, since Asuna did not want any form of pity from her 10 year old teacher. Ulquiorra interrupted the growing fight by pointing out that Negi did not mean to pity her, but was simply very receptive to unfortunate stories. This calmed Asuna down a bit as they finished up cleaning Negi when a question of her own appeared in her mind.

"Ulquiorra-sensei, what was that job you mentioned earlier today?"

Ulquiorra glanced up at her before replying,

"I work as prize-fighter and bounty hunter."

Asuna processed the info and made an answer to another of her questions.

"Is that how you got all those…" Asuna not finishing the sentence, but her gesture to the scars finished it for her. Ulquiorra simply nodded, but Negi also contributed to conversation,

"Yeah, Nekane-nee-chan and I tried to convince Aniki that he didn't have to, but he went and does so anyway."

Ulquiorra simply shook his head as he knew that both Nekane and Negi would always worry over him when ever he went out to do his job. Asuna also understood from her own circumstances and could sympathize with Ulquiorra's own desire.

They entered a silence as they finished up with Asuna dumping a pail of water to get the remaining suds. Negi had squealed at the sudden splash something Asuna lightly teased him about really being ten years old, before Negi revealed that he was actually Nine and a half. This nearly resulted in another explosion from Asuna, before Ulquiorra quieted her down, by telling her to listen. She did and heard voices outside.

Not wanting another traumatic event and misunderstanding the three of them quickly hid. Asuna peeked from the large palm tree leaves to see that it was the library trio of Nodoka, Yue Ayase, and Haruna Kiotome. Konoka and Ayaka were also joining them.

They began to talk with Ayaka instantly demanding to know why Asuna and Negi were rooming together. Konoka explained that it was something the dean had set up. Haruna then made a joking comment to Nodoka and Yue about getting Negi into their room. Ayaka, of course, denied that with an immediate response of why she would be the perfect room mate for Negi. Yue calmly noted that perfect roommate for Negi would technically be his older brother Ulquiorra, and was subsequently ignored by Ayaka who proclaimed herself to be the perfectly proportioned figure for Negi's needs. Of course Haruna simply responded by cupping her own breast and saying that they were bigger.

This of course led to an argument about whose breasts were actually bigger. This caused Asuna to groan at the ridiculousness of her classmates and Ulquiorra to wonder why women considered breast size so important. He had heard the argument many times before from some of the female arrancar, more specifically between Harribel's fraccion Apache and Mila Rose.

However, another voice interrupted the growing argument. Kaede strolled in waving hello to her fellow students as she was soon followed by Mana and all the other students as well. Ayaka and Haruna both began laughing nervously as they remembered that most of their fellow classmates were not average. The class of 2-A soon settled into different corners of the bath house.

"Kagurazaka-san, I thought you said that nobody used the baths this late." Ulquiorra said quietly as he tried to find a possible escape route and kept his brother from freaking out.

"I don't know this usually never happens." Asuna whispered.

Ulquiorra could only take a glance back at his brother who was to busy having a silent panic attack to notice. Ulquiorra knew that there was some perverted god out there that seemed hell bent, on making Negi's life an eroge. There was no other explanation other than his brother having the strangest luck ever.

Ulquiorra was pulled from his thoughts by a tug on his arm from Asuna.

"Hey, couldn't you teleport the three of us out there with your sonido-thing?" Asuna questioned with a hopeful look on her face. The look fell and was replaced with frustration as Ulquiorra shook his head no.

"Why not?" Asuna hissed in frustration.

"Kagurazaka-san, my sonido is a high-speed technique not teleportation. I have to see where my destination is and I would have to stop long enough to open the door. This means that while I could by myself move out of here fast enough to get out unnoticed, I would have to leave you two behind."

Asuna groaned as she tried to figure out another way to get out that would not leave her reputation in even more shambles.

As this was going on another conversation was going on.

"So Ulquiorra-sensei is a master sword fighter?" questioned student number 15 Setsuna Sakurazaki as she conversed with both Kaede and Mana.

"Yes, he could even give you a run for your money." said Mana as she scrubbed her long hair. Setsuna merely gave a shrug of her shoulders as she also continued washing. Kaede however grinned seeing an opportunity for some teasing.

"You certainly seem impressed with Ulquiorra-sensei… in more ways than one." she said. Mana, however simply grinned back.

"I am."

The candid response in turn caused Kaede to also widen her grin as both she and Mana gave off a silent challenge to one another. Setsuna resisted the urge to roll her eyes as two of the schools best fighters were basically arguing over a boy. Well, a man really, but the all the same. A sudden commotion drew the attention of all three of the girls as a crowd of their classmates began to gather in one spot. They all stood up in curiosity and went over to find out what was happening.

Apparently Yue had told the class of the contest that was happening prior to their arrival. 2-A of course reacted in their usual manor and got into the competition with gusto. They all began comparing their bust sizes to see who would become Negi's new roommate. They were all whispering excitedly before Kaede asked a question with a sly grin on her face.

"What about Ulquiorra-sensei?"

"Hmm? That's right we can't forget about our dear other sensei now can we? Kazumi asked with a matching grin.

"Of course not." Kaede agreed shooting a hidden grin to Mana who was staring right back at her in challenge.

After some more talk on the girl's side Kazumi set up the rules of how they would decide where Ulquiorra and Negi would end up. "Alright were in agreement, two different contests, one for Negi-sensei and the other for Ulquiorra-sensei" everyone nodded.

"Alright, for Negi-sensei it's a boob contest, whoever has the biggest boobs in class 2-A will get Negi. There will be some factors to consider. For Ulquiorra, it'll be a tournament of winner gets Ulquiorra. All agreed?" Kazumi the database of 2-A finished off.

"Kay, all girls who want to get Negi will be on the left, the girls who want Ulquiorra on the right." Kazumi said. The girls moved to their chosen side "Well, for Negi-sensei we have Ayaka, Makie, Nodoka, Ako and Konoka and for Ulquiorra-sensei we have Chizuru, Kaede, Mana, Haruna, Kū Fei, and Zazie."

As this was going on Asuna was sweat dropping over the sheer ridiculousness of her class mates while Negi simply fretted that he would be moved. Ulquiorra though saw their best chance of getting out and motioned for both Asuna and Negi to follow. They complied and all three were soon on their way towards the door and would be out with no one the wiser.

It was that night that cemented Ulquiorra's belief that there was a god of perversity that had made it its mission in making his younger brother and all those around him achieve the maximum perverseness that can happen in any situation.

The door was no more than ten feet away when Negi tripped and grabbed onto Asuna who stumbled and grabbed onto Ulquiorra who normally would have had no trouble remaining upright, but with the slippery floor was brought down as well. Of course the noise attracted the group of girls' attention and caused them to turn around. The sight before them rendered them speech less for a few seconds.

Negi had fall down hard on his rump and was fighting back tears of pain. Asuna had landed on Ulquiorra's stomach and was now straddling him. The silence was soon broken though as the class clamored to find out what happened, one voice in particular was particularly vocal.

"Asuna! Just what are you doing to Ulquiorra-sensei and in front of Negi-sensei no less? !" demanded Ayaka as she rushed at her hot-headed classmate.

Asuna sputtered as she tried to somehow salvage her reputation when Ulquiorra spoke from under her,

"What Kagurazaka san is trying to say is that she was assisting me in giving my younger brother a bath. We had thought that the baths would be empty at this time at night so there would be no one to accidentally walk in on. However, you can all obviously conclude this was not the case. The three of us were attempting to leave without any fanfare, but unfortunately a misstep by my brother caused us all to fall and land in the position you all see now."

The class, Asuna, and Negi were now all staring at Ulquiorra in slight disbelief at the utter calm in his tone as he described what happened. Any normal person would have been reduced to a stuttering wreck from the compromising position, but Ulquiorra spoke as though he were simply commenting on the weather. Negi here felt a brief stab of jealousy as he once again his Aniki's outstanding ability to remain calm no matter the situation. It was something he tried to emulate, but could never pull off even during calm times. Ulquiorra then calmly requested Asuna to get off him so that he could up, which she did with a start and a blush. She absently noticed that Ulquiorra's chest had felt like she was sitting on stone. Negi then spoke to his class to help defend his brother's and Asuna's rep.

"I-it's the truth " Negi said backing up his brother while he got up still blushing with a towel covering his lower midriff.

The girls laughed merrily at their instructor's confession. The whole misunderstanding of Asuna and Ulquiorra-sensei was cleared up. They should have known that boys would hate bathing. Dirty males.

Negi for his part tried his best not to look at his semi-nude students. It wasn't good for him to be peeking at them. He was a gentleman! He just can't. So turning to his brother he tried to go to the doors without anymore hassle. Asuna and Ulquiorra were about to follow his lead when a voice from behind stopped them in there tracks.

"Just hold on there, Asuna!" Haruna said. "We still hadn't done the contest yet!"

"Yeah! You can't have Negi-kun and Ulquiorra-sensei all to yourself!" Added Misora.

"At least share Negi-kun with us will you?" asked Sakurako. "I want to hug him when I sleep!"

"Wait just a minute here!" Asuna tried to protest.

"Get her girls don't let her get away!" Ordered Ayaka.

"Yes ma'am!" chorused and saluted most of the girls.

The entire class once again chattered wildly while comparing each other's bust. The Orange haired girl was also pulled into the crowd, crying and cursing like a sailor.

The child teacher and his older brother were fortunate enough to escape the girls' activity. Negi looked to his brother for help, but saw Ulquiorra already making his way to the exit of the bath house. Negi quickly followed his Aniki, but stopped and looked back at the growing scene of chaos.

"What about Asuna-san?" Negi asked worriedly as he looked back at his brother.

"I believe the only thing in real danger is Kagurazaka-san's pride, though I would be prepared to move into a new room if I was you." and having said his piece Ulquiorra turned towards the door and walked through it and held it open for his brother to follow. However, when Negi did not Ulquiorra turned around to find his little brother racing back to the pool with a determined look on his face as he called back to Ulquiorra that there was something that he needed to do first.

Ulquiorra was stared silently after his brother for a few seconds before continuing into the locker room and out the exit. Normally Ulquiorra would have stopped Negi, but he reasoned that if Negi thought that magic would solve everything, then perhaps a harsh lesson was needed to show him otherwise.

The erupting screams of shock that followed after him really served to intensify his point.

xxxx Back at the Cabin xxxx

Ulquiorra once again turned around as he felt a pair of eyes gazing intensely into his back. His jade green eyes narrowed as he concentrated. After a few minutes he found his gaze drawn to one doll in particular. This was one of Evangeline's more human dolls. It had on a miniature-maid like outfit complete with the headdress. She also had green hair and ears similar to Chachamaru. Ulquiorra stared intensely at the doll before a voice informed him of the return of the owner of the house.

"You know your younger sibling is really quite amusing, though Kagurazaka does not seem to think so." Evangeline informed Ulquiorra as she stepped into the house followed by Chachamaru.

"I would imagine that she would have a few issues. What did happen though? It must have been…dramatic, judging by the screams at least." Ulquiorra asked as he turned to face his two students.

The small grin that was on Evangeline's face did not hide the amusement that danced in her eyes, "Oh, it seems that your little brother decided to ensure Kagurazaka's victory in that ridiculous contest, though it seems he still needs control. I don't think a girl is supposed to spontaneously develop HHH cups in the span of thirty seconds. I'm also sure there not supposed to explode either."

Ulquiorra's face did not change at the new info, but he did close his eyes and brought a hand to massage the space between them. He opened them to find Evangeline still staring at him with a small, smug grin on her face.

"You don't seem very surprised by the existence of magic McDowell-san." Ulquiorra commented.

"Well you don't seem very surprised by my knowledge Sensei." Evangeline said the as grin slowly faded from her mouth.

They both stared at each other silently neither of their faces betraying even a flicker of emotion. Chachamaru stood at alert ready to react in the suddenly tense atmosphere when the silence was broken by Ulquiorra.

"Let's get to the point McDowell-san, you know who I am, and I know who you are. I do not know why you are here, but if the dean has enough trust in you than I can allot the same courtesy, but know this. Should you become a threat to either your classmates or Negi then I will not hesitate to take the appropriate action in ending that threat."

Eva's eyes did not waver in the slightest at the stated threat and when she answered she gave an almost bored sigh,

"Very well Sensei." She said, almost mockingly the same words Ulquiorra spoke to her last night.

However, Ulquiorra did not rise to the bait, but instead simply bid her and Chachamaru good evening. He then turned towards his room, but before he entered he said one last thing,

"That being said you and Karakuri-san are also part of my class, so if you two were also to come to harm, then that would be considered a failure on my part. I dislike failing and now once again good night to you both and good night to as well, Doll-san."

With that Ulquiorra stepped into his allotted room and closed the door behind him.

The room was silent for a moment, before a voice came from the mass of doll's.

"Master can we keep him? I like him."

Evangeline simply ignored the talking doll and headed up stairs with Chachamaru faithfully following behind her. When she got to her room Chachamaru began to undress and prepare Evangeline for bed while Evangeline furrowed her eyebrows at the conversation that had just occurred. She now knew that she would have to tread lightly when she enacted her plan as her new housemate was not an opponent to take lightly. Evangeline may have been stuck at this school for the past fifteen years, but she could still get info of what was happening in the magical world. She had heard of Ulquiorra during one of her shogi games with the head master.

Evangeline frowned as she decided to ponder a new plan. Her final thoughts of the night as she laid down into bed revolved around her two senseis. One was the son of the man who had spurned her love and trapped her here and the other who showed no fear despite knowing the truth about her.

Before she finally closed her eyes to sleep one last though passed through her head,

'If the old man thinks that placing the brat's brother near me will stop me then he is really getting senile. I've waited fifteen years and I now have a chance to be free. Nothing is going to stand in my way.'

xxxx The end xxxx

Man this thing was a pain in the butt to write. I'm so freaking sorry for taking so long, but college threw me off more than I thought. I also had a lot of ideas that I had started on and would not leave my head until I had at least written them down. Also Ulquiorra did retain the ability to see spirirts and can interact with them. What does this mean for Sayo, well that would be telling now wouldn't it. Now that the groveling for forgiveness is out of the way it's time to answer some questions and who better to answer them, then Gin-sensei. So struggling students it's time for some after school lessons.

The screen lights up to show Mahora academy as a school bell rings and a title shows up.

"After School Lessons."

The camera than went into a room where the main instructor of these lessons is shown.

"Hi yas." Smiled Gin Ichimaru his hair and outfit slightly askew, "Today were gonna be discussin potion's"

Gin: Potions are tricky, and helpful little buggers and come in many varieties. They can be used as catalysts to boost spells when a mage is low on power or can do a whole bunch of other stuff. We'll be specifically focusin on the little number are littler protagonist whipped up. The potion brewed today was known as the Charm love potion. It's a pretty potent potion that causes whoever drinks it to become irresistible to the opposite sex. However, if some one realizes that person had drunk the potion then they are no longer affected.

Gin: Despite the flaw the council still made it a very restricted substance, good thing Negi-bozu made his the time out type or he could have gotten in even bigger trouble with Ulquiorra-kun.

Gin (with a curious frown): Though I have to wonder what Ulquiorra-kun did to scare poor Negi-bozu and Asuna-chan so badly." *Notices a note fluttering down*

Gin: "Think Miya from Sekirei pissed mixed with Freddy Kruger and you'll get the general idea."

Gin (shudders minutely): I had to ask, well that's all the time we have. Remember, whenever you need help you can always find sensei, after school.

Story End.