How yuh doing? Feel up-dated and such!
I want to take precious time from you to thank everyone who had reviewed and threatened me into writing! Yeeeaaah for life threats on the interspace!
"This is not a good idea. What if someone sees me?" Ichigo was reluctantly pushed towards the lakeshore by Rukia. She began pulling at his clothes.
"Just because you look like a dom does not mean you should smell like one." She had managed to pull off his shirt now and wasted no time on starting with his pants.
"But – ah – wouldn't I fit in more if I smell like them?" She had pulled down his pants and reached for his underwear.
"Not when you live under my tent, you're not!" Ichigo evaded her attempts of pulling off the last piece of his clothing.
"I'll do it myself!" He turned his back to her showing off the black shard of yin, which every virgin submissive had between their shoulder blades. After the completion of sexual intercourse the faint sign of yang would complete the circle. Dominants had it too; only reverse, as their shards were yang.
Completely undressed he walked into the lake. After a quick dip he began his return. Rukia stood on the shore, posed like an angry house-sub with a fist on her hip and an imaginary rolling pin held over her head.
"You better not think you're getting up before you are all pruny and stuff!" Ichigo sighed but swam further out again.
"You'd better stand watch!"
"Yeah, yeah."
"Stand watch, while I blow our secret with your stupid ghost habits of cleanliness." Ichigo grumbled. "Do ghosts still keep their sense of smell? That seems stupid. Maybe it's a guardian thing?"
Lost in thought Ichigo missed the loud shouts coming from the camp. They came closer but not even Rukia heard them, she had gotten bored of being the lookout and had begun drawing in the sand. She finally noticed the men running towards the lake when she was hit in the face by a pair of boxers with hearts on them.
"Crap…"
Ichigo was pulled from his mind when he was hit by the tidal wave created by Chad, Kenpachi and Ikkaku jumping into the lake at the same time.
"Crap…"
Ichigo ducks into the water, and tried to hide behind a large rock. It was meaningless since Ikkaku already seen him.
"Hey, Shiro!" Ikkaku stood, showing off an impressive set of muscles as he waved at Ichigo. Ichigo peeked out from behind the rock. Ikkaku's head was really shiny when wet.
"Oh, hi guys! I didn't see you…" Chad and Ikkaku shared confused looks. "I was dirty, now I'm clean so I'll go now." Ichigo grabbed a lily pad, hid behind it and wished really badly to disappear. It didn't work as Ikkaku grabbed the pad and tossed it away, hitting Rukia in the face again.
"Don't leave! I know we were jerks before but let's start again!" He held out his hand.
"I'm Ikkaku."
Ichigo keeping himself neck down in the water shook his hand and tried to escape quickly. He smacked his face on Chad's chest. The friendly giant smiled down at him with a small hint of puppy love.
"And I'm Chad." Ichigo blushed and waved slightly with his left hand.
"Hello Chad." Chad was going to continue but was interrupted by Kenpachi who had climbed the rock Ichigo had hid behind. In all his naked glory. And Ichigo saw everything before he hid his blushing face in his hands.
"And I'm Kenpachi, king of the rock. And there is nothing you fuckers can do about it."
Ikkaku raised his fist. "Pigfucker! Me and Shiro could take you!"
"I don't want to take him anywhere…" Ichigo tried to escape again but Ikkaku grabbed his arm.
"Shiro! Fighting is all a dom is about!" Ichigo pried Ikkaku's fingers off him and swam away from him.
"I know! We can all have a competition in who can hold their breath the longest under water." They all looked like the considered it. Ichigo really hoped they would.
"Yeah, but that is easy to cheat in." Ikkaku rubbed the back of his head.
"I could be the referee." Ichigo said hopefully.
"I'd rather fight, so assbags, are you gonna fight or pussy out?" Kenpachi roared to the sky.
Rukia, who now had recovered from the horror of getting creamed by boxers, decided to help her ward. She dove into the lake and jumped up in between the men. Since she was invisible to everyone except Ichigo it looked like a water monster popped up and roared, she could at least make her voice hearable to the naked ear.
In the commotion she created Ichigo could swim to the shore and take cover behind Zangetsu and took the towel the moviemakers had conveniently placed on the horse.
"I do not want to see a naked person again ever!" Ichigo ran a hand through his wet hair.
The rest of the recruits ran past, both men and women naked as the day they were born.
Ichigo looked at Rukia.
"The universe really hates me, doesn't it?"
"Yeah, I think it does."
…..ooooooooo0000000000000oooooo oooo…
After Ichigo had dressed and gone back to the camp, he heard raised voices coming from Sui-Feng's tent.
"Captain Kuchiki! You seriously think your troops are ready for war? Those idiots wouldn't last a second against the Espada! They would be toast, bacon and salami before you'd be able to say Italy."
"They have completed their training." He heard his captain respond.
"Ha! Those insects couldn't find the pointy end of their swords even if they stabbed themselves."
"You saw that…"
"Yes, she's not all there is she?"
"No… But… Well I can't remember her being anything else but tall."
"Well anyhoo, the traitors won't be going to war. When I send this report to the general, you can kiss your chance good-bye captain!"
"We're not finished!"
"You'd better be careful, unlike you; I got my job because my predecessor turned into a cat and married a blond guy she met in a hole."
"I don't see how that is better than getting a job from my father." Sui-Feng looked perplexed and a bit angry.
"You're dismissed!" With a cold stare Byakuya stormed out.
He walked by Ichigo, the cold stare stopping him from saying anything but he did look. My, that's a fine buttocks.
"Oooh, I saw that!" Rukia grinned like a cheshire cat.
"What?"
"You like him! Ichigo and Byakuya sitting in a tree," she sang.
"Shut up! I'm going to back to the tent." Rukia watched him go and smiled to herself.
"Now that he's gone, I think is time to get thing war started."
She sneaked into Sui-Feng's tent after she had left whistling dressed only in a towel. Quikly grabbing a piece of paper she got busy composing a letter. Once finished she looked it over.
"Maybe I shouldn't have drawn so many bunnies in the margins…"
Moments later she looked over the re-done letter. Nodding to herself she took off to find some armor.
…..oooooo000000000ooooooooooo…
Sui-Feng was pissed. The brutes had water bombed her as soon as she'd shown up and really messed with her me-time.
"You owe me a pair of new slippers!" She yelled back to the laughing crowed. Turning back she saw what must be the strangest sight in a long time. A really short solider riding a pig.
"Urgent news from the general!"
Sui-Feng couldn't stop staring at the pig.
"What? Haven't you seen a self-proclaimed horse before?"
Narrowing her eyes in disbelief she said:
"Who are you?"
"Excuse me! Who are you? We're at war! There's no time for talk, only tea and biscuits and seeing that you have none, I would say you should shut up and deliver that to the general before I report you! Seriously you'd think you'd at least have some biscuits!"
…oooooo0000000000ooooooooo….
Running into the captain's tent Sui-Feng yelled.
"We're needed at the front! Pack your bags, we're going to war!"
The End.
Please wait 0.5-2 years for the sequel.
Kidding ;) Like maybe this year for a update… kinda! Thank you again for reviewing! I like icht velly mucho, gracias!