My first Voyager fic. I'm a Vorik fan :P Also, I'm a major B'Elanna fan. Basically, I wrote this because I didn't like the emphasis put on only B'Elanna at the end of Blood Fever. I spent the rest of the season thinking poor Vorik had died. I was relieved to see him still around later on. I hope some people here enjoy this fic.

Understanding

The first thing he became aware of as he regained consciousness was that he was still alive. The fight had been enough to calm his fevered state of being.

The second realisation was that he was in the sick bay and he had no knowledge of getting there. He barely remembered all he had done down on the planet, or how he had gotten there to begin with. He remembered some of the fight with B'Elanna but not much else. By that time, he too had entered the Blood Fever.

The third was simply that he was slightly hungry. He had not eaten anything the past week, and most of that had been spent denying his situation. He had been a fool and waited until the last possible moment to ask B'Elanna to take him as her mate. She had been receptive of him before that disastrous mistake.

He was also exhausted and his body wanted nothing more than to sleep. He needed to regain strength, to regain his shattered control, to regain himself. But first he needed to eat. Opening his eyes to the sterile surroundings of the ship, he was expecting to see Kes or the Doctor nearby. Instead, he was aware only that he was alone.

While normally this would cause him to relax, he was not yet in a right state of mind. His Dopamine and Serotonin levels were still elevated, though lowering at a steady, consistent manner, levelling him out to a much more favourable mental and physical state.

He frowned at his self analysis, preferring the Doctor to be there to tell him if it was real this time, or a low like it had been after he had mated with the holographic female in the holodeck. By now the Doctor would have the relevant information needed to make a proper diagnosis on his health. "Computer, activate the EMH."

"Please state the...Ah, Ensign Vorik! From what I hear, your emergency is over."

Sitting up straight on the bio bed, Vorik wondered at his sudden impulse to have his health second guessed by the one who had seemed so intent on knowing every little thing about him during this time. Still, until he was certain, he refused to leave the med bay. "I am uncertain if I am truly improving, or if this is another false improvement."

Medical tricorder at the ready, the Doctor was soon scanning him to make sure. "Well, from what I see, it is real this time. Your readings are slowly going back to normal, they're not there yet, but it isn't a sudden drop like it was before. I'd say that is a good sign that you're getting better, yes."

Relaxing slightly, he nodded once, sharply, before stepping off the bed. His body was stiff and sore, his muscles protesting. It was not fully from the fight and likely his more relaxed state after such a high chemical imbalance over the past week. He had not expected the Pon Farr to be so hard on his body, though he had known intellectually that he could have died from it. Almost did die from it.

"Give your body a few days to rest, Ensign. I would suggest you have the next two days off duty. It may also be an idea to speak to B'Elanna before you go back to work. The two of you need to talk, regardless of Vulcan secrecy given the subject matter."

The idea did not appeal to him, but he knew that in this case, the Doctor was right. Not only was he in need of rest, but he did need to speak to B'Elanna. "Am I free to leave sick bay, Doctor?"

"Yes, you're free to go. I'll let the Captain know that you will be fit and well to return to duty after some rest."

With another short nod and a quick, polite thank you, Vorik was out of the med bay and in the nearest turbolift to go to the mess hall. One small meal should help before he went to sleep. He was expecting his fellow crewmates to be angry at him, or tease him, as was the wont of most humans and other emotionally expressive species, but they seemed to be treating him the same way as they always did.

He usually preferred to eat alone, more because talking while eating disturbed him than he didn't want company, but he decided, when he noticed B'Elanna over by a wall eating on her own to join her. Best get the talking done before he needed to get back to work, or he may find things more uncomfortable than they should be when he did go back to Engineering.

He chose the vegetarian meal Neelix had prepared, before wandering over to his commanding officer.

"Vorik, you're the last person I want to speak to just now," she stated, as he took the seat across from her.

He looked at the food, spearing some of the Leola root and eating it before replying. "I realise that. I need to apologise for my behaviour, and for starting the bond between us. I did not know what I was doing at the time and was guided by instinct. The bond severed with the fight. You are now Lieutenant Paris's mate. I will not try again."

He looked up at her after eating a few more bites of food, once he noticed she was being oddly quiet. She was staring at him. "I am not Tom's, and he sure as hell isn't mine!"

Frowning slightly, he looked back down at his plate. "He was going to champion for you, but you chose to fight instead. I took it as he being your chosen mate, as you had also marked him. If I am wrong, I apologise."

B'Elanna ran a hand over her face and nodded. "I wouldn't have done that to Tom if I hadn't been responding to your instincts. I now have a whole new understanding of Vulcans I didn't have before. I didn't know you were so...aggressive."

"Vulcan emotions are more intense than most other species. We almost became extinct because of this. It is why we learnt the ways of logic and emotional control. If we do not control our emotions, they control us."

She huffed at him, a sound he had come familiar enough with to know she believed him to be understating a fact. "Yeah, well, that I can believe. How the hell do you control that?"

Shrugging one shoulder and not raising his head from where he was staring at his food, he replied "We do not. What you experienced with me is almost impossible to control. It is...one of the reasons it is not talked about. At all. I did not fully know what to expect."

"I was told that this is supposed to last 8 days or so without the mating. If that Blood Fever is the last stage before dying...then you did a hell of a job controlling it the rest of the time, because until you asked me to marry you, I honestly had no idea anything was wrong."

He shook his head, extremely uncomfortable with the subject. "There are usually signs. I was not showing all of them. I was not fully certain I was...going through it until today. According to the reactions I have seen from my father once, what I went through was quite mild."

B'Elanna was staring at him, he could feel it and he felt his face flush under her scrutiny. He went back to eating his meal, managing to finish it though it made him feel slightly ill, when she next spoke. He once again raised his head to look at her.

"That...was mild? I am so glad I'm not Vulcan right now, I can't even begin to say how much. I thought being half Klingon was bad."

"You have trouble containing your anger. There are techniques for that. I am sure Lieutenant Tuvok would help if you asked."

She grinned at him and it did not help that his heart rate increased slightly with the baring of her teeth. "Not offering yourself?"

His mind immediately reached the wrong conclusion, he was sure of it, but it was the only one he could think of. He blinked. "I had already done so and you rejected me. Twice."

She frowned and he knew she was confused. Her eyes told him that much. "I meant in the whole technique thing, not the marriage proposal. You are a Vulcan too."

"Ah. I do not believe I am old enough to be a teacher in such practices. I did only just reach full maturity. Lieutenant Tuvok is much more aware of such practices than I and is old enough to have teaching experience. He is teaching Kes to control her telepathic abilities."

After he stated that, silence fell upon their table and he found it was not comfortable. He had come to know B'Elanna liked talking with people while off duty. She also liked the holodeck sports and recreations.

That she had even bothered trying to be friendly to him was a change in pace for most people. He admired her greatly for it.

He had no idea of what to say now that they had talked and seemed to be able to work well together still, if their being civil with each other was any indication. He closed his eyes and sighed, his body relaxing further and pulling him inevitably towards sleep. He needed to go back to his room and lie down, but did not want to leave B'Elanna's company.

Would it be considered rude to leave? In the end it didn't matter. His head slid off his hand where he was keeping it up and if she did not stop him, he would have landed on his now empty plate.

"Are you alright?"

"Tired. I have had no appetite, nor have I been physically tired within the past 8 days. The imbalance is righting itself. I need sleep." It came out mumbled and he would have winced at the way he was beginning to ramble, if he had not closed his eyes again.

"Come on, I'll walk you to your room. Someone has to make sure you don't fall flat on your face."

He did not need her help walking, but he was comforted slightly by her keeping up a running dialogue all the way to his cabin, keeping close to his side in case he collapsed like he had down on the planet but not touching him. If anything, he now was certain that their relationship as it had been before this...situation was still fully intact.

She left him once he entered his cabin, not stepping inside and trying to help him further. The last thing he needed was to be helped into bed, especially when he was going to sleep. Plus he hadn't wanted her to see inside.

His room was a mess. He had gone back to the Doctor after turning over the table and breaking some of his belongings in a fit of rage. He righted the furniture quickly before getting out of his uniform and into sleepwear.

He may have humiliated himself and several other crewmembers during the past day, and he was relieved not to be locked in the brig for endangering the ship or crew in any way. He was not looking forward to how he would act during his next Time, though he had seven years to plan for that.

But his relationship with B'Elanna had not been destroyed, and that was what mattered to him in that moment.

He fell asleep knowing he still had his position waiting for him when he was fully recovered.