Hi.

I know I have been gone for, yet again, and astonishing amount of time. The last few months have been rather stressful school-wise and personally, but at least the holidays are rapidly approaching! And I sort of get a break! Thank everyone for all their reviews (if I accidentally forgot to reply to someone!), subscriptions, and favourites.

It also doesn't help that I lost my USB stick that held the original one to this…awkward.

MissDonnie - Thank you so much! I'm not from Texas, but the feeling that it (was) on fire was horrible.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, but I did put it on my Christmas list again. So, we shall see. ;)

You Learn To See

~We Had No Control~

Within the elevator, Patrick Jane somewhat uneasily shifts his footing in an attempt to squish out all uneasy feelings of returning to the CBI building. Here he was, going back to Hightower in order to ask for his job back. For the last few weeks, he has been telling himself (and Lisbon) that he would be getting on it. The night before was when he made the commitment to call Hightower in the morning, and of course she asked him to come in immediately.

When the elevator dinged, Jane quickly steps out and onto an all too familiar floor as he treks towards Hightower's office. He knocks on the door once before pushing it open to reveal the woman he is searching for sitting behind her desk as she pours over case files.

Clearing his throat, he clasps his hands together behind his back and makes his way up to her desk. This catches her attention, and she looks up at him and smiles.

"Patrick, it is good to see you," she stands up and offers her hand. He politely takes it and returns her shake. "How are you?"

He nods his head, "I'm all right."

She nods at this and smiles, "Teresa and the baby?"

Jane smiles at her mention of his family, "They are doing excellent. I think Lisbon may even consider becoming a stay-at-home mother."

The last part was a joke, as there was no way Teresa Lisbon could ever become a stay-at-home mother. She would love being around little David for a while, but then boredom would set in and she would grow miserable. And Jane did not want to see Lisbon miserable.

Hightower chuckles at his joke and crosses her arms over her chest, "So, Patrick, you are here to talk about the possibility of getting your consultation job back with the CBI."

She was still smiling when he nods, "Yes, Madeline, I am hoping to get my job back. On Lisbon's team, of course."

Nodding, Hightower sits back down. "I'll see what I can do," she says to him, "But don't be surprised if I cannot put you back on Lisbon's team. People may not like that."

Jane merely shrugs his shoulders, as if to just say "meh" to it all. He is pretty confident that Hightower would be able to get him his position back on Lisbon's team whether everyone else approved of it or not. After all, he was a valuable asset to the CBI. And not allowing him to return would be a waste of talent.

"Patrick," Hightower says in a slightly warning tone, "I really may not be able to put you back on Lisbon's team."

Part of him wants to verbally deny it to her, but he decides not to and leave her be. Instead, he nods and gives her a slight wave as he walks back out of her office. As the door shuts, he hears her say goodbye. He gives her another little wave and sets off towards the all-too familiar bullpen.

Everything is the same. The desks are all arranged the same way as they had been before he had gone to prison. There were the same little trinkets and objects on everyone's desk. And the most important thing about the bullpen is that his couch is still in the same exact place as it was before. The janitor hadn't even moved it.

Smiling at that, he walks over towards the couch, presses a hand down on the brown leather, and pats it softly. Yep, he is still extremely confident to get his job back in due time. Of course, he did not mind if it took awhile for it to happen, as he would not get tired of spending his free time with Lisbon and David.

Stepping back from the couch and heading towards another all too familiar part of the CBI, his phone rings. Pausing in the doorway between the bullpen and the passageway, he pulls out his phone and flips it open.

"Hello, Teresa," he smiles as her name rolls off his tongue. "Is everything all right."

"Yeah, everything's fine. Where are you?"

His smile only grows as he steps through the doorway and towards her office. "I'm still at the CBI. Madeline is going to try and let me return as a consultant again."

"On my team?"

He nods, even though she cannot see him, "Yes, I made sure to emphasize that I want to be with you."

On the other line, Lisbon chuckles slightly, "Do you think she'll reimburse me on all the Aspirin I'll have to buy again?"

In a carefree manner, he shrugs his shoulders, "Oh I don't know, Teresa." He pauses their discussion to open the door to her office. "Maybe you should ask her when you return."

"I will!" She is still chuckling in the background.

He walks around her office, taking in all the pictures he has not seen in quite some time. He pauses at the sonogram picture of David at sixteen weeks, and his heart constricts slightly in his chest.

"Patrick? Is something wrong?"

"Uhh." In all honesty, there was nothing wrong. He just felt another wave of guilt come across him at the sight of his (then) unborn child in the woman he love's womb. "No, there isn't anything wrong."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," he says softly, "I'm sure. Listen, I should go if I wan to leave now," she didn't say anything in between, "I love you, Teresa."

"I love you too."

And she hung up on her end of the line.

He pockets his cell phone and picks up the picture of the sonogram. Without taking his eyes off of it, he moves to sit back down on the cream-coloured couch that he had bought her so long ago. Welcoming the cushions, he shakily held the picture up again. The guilt within him only grew stronger, and he did his best not to let the tears fall. He could not help the occasional tear from running down the side of his cheeks as he clutched the little sonogram to his chest.

Sometimes life isn't fair.

I decided to make this one slightly angsty (and sadly short) because I really do feel like I need to make Jane feel as if he is guilty for missing the majority of Lisbon's pregnancy by being in prison. Don't worry, things should be happier next time.