Part Four

So there's this thing called compassion, right?

Yes. Santana doesn't have any.

We were pretty much back at stage one, where we started a week ago. I was desperate and seeking to Santana for help (which – help me God – I don't know why I was trying again). And she was just sitting there, looking at me like I'd lost my mind a bit more or something. And quite frankly, it was possible that I had. Why – of all people – had I decided to like Rachel Berry? Must be a sign of some sort of mental-disorder, right? At least Santana thought so. I wasn't really sure what I thought... well. I thought that Rachel was great, so that's why I liked her.

Santana was thinking that I was a bit crazy. And she was looking at me in that way again. At least she wasn't laughing like last time, because that sucked.

Especially because I felt like crying. I mean – I was that upset. Throughout my weekend with Rachel – where I'd had a lot of fun and just loved feeling close to her – she'd mentioned her secret admirer so many times that I was beginning to think that I'd never be able to tell her that it was me. When I did – she'd probably feel betrayed and don't trust me anymore. I'd really dug myself into some hole, hadn't I? I shouldn't have started leaving those notes, I should have been upfront with her and befriended her without the secrecy. Everything would just be plain awkward now if she found out.

I wanted to let her know that I – Quinn Fabray – wanted to be with her. But how did I do that without letting her know I liked her?

Slowly, I was beginning to hyperventilate.

When I clutched my hands to my chest and awkwardly wobbled backwards to find some place to sit down, I couldn't breathe properly. Air was leaving my lips in erratic huffs and tears started gathering in the corners of my eyes. Santana now suddenly seemed to realise that this was quite serious, because she practically fell out of her chair to help me sit down on the couch. She grabbed my arm and guided me towards the comfortable sofa in the Lopez living room, before sitting down next to me with a soothing hand on my back.

"Breathe, Q," she whispered, "breathe..." she padded me awkwardly on the head (which was her way of letting me know that she cared), "Just take a deep breath and control yourself..."

I tried listening to her; her voice was calm and familiar and I found myself winding down. My breath got steadier and my shoulders suddenly felt a lot less tense. I was still gulping slightly and tears were streaming down my face as I turned to look at her. "Thank you, S..." I licked my lips.

She awkwardly brushed a piece of my half pink-half blonde hair out of my face and said, "Relax Quinn... the hobbit's gonna love it when she finds out it's you who's been sending her all these things!" she nodded her head when I gave her a sceptic look, "She totally is, Q! I'm telling ya', Berry's gots the hots for your sweet white ass. She wants to gets her mack on with you!"

I could feel tears streaming down my face as I shook my head at her, "Santana, you're crazy... And stop adding S's everywhere!"

"I'm trying to cheer you up!" she snapped at me then, an offended look on her face as she pulled slightly away and glared at me. "You're the one who's all upset about Berry and I'm just trying to be a good friend."

"You can't cheer me up." I snapped right back at her, and I bid back a gulp that was threatening to spill from my throat. I wanted to cry; I wanted to lie face down on the soft couch and sob so badly. I was crying – but I was maintaining a more subtle approach at it. I had tears streaming from my eyes and down my cheeks, I could feel them. And I just stared at Santana, because it was hurting so much – the fact that Rachel could never be mine. "I just want her..." I whispered, "I need to have her, S... I just do."

Santana drew slightly away from me again and I could see her eyes wavering. "Holy shit, Q..." she whispered, her breath ghosting across my cheek as she leaned back in again, forcing me to look at her, "You're in love with her..."

When my eyes finally met hers, I knew that she was seeing right through me. I'd been denying it – so hard, in fact, that I was starting to believe it. But it was the truth. I was in love with Rachel Berry. My little crush on her had turned into something so much more after I got to know her better – and it was breaking my heart now, because I could never have her.

"I just..." Santana was looking entirely too baffled with this new piece of information, "I just thought that it was a lot of pent up sexual tension, but now I see... it's so much more than that!"

I wanted to be sarcastic and tell her that yes, it sure as fuck was, but I didn't have it in me today, I was just plain sad (it was sort of pathetic, but I decided not to dwell on that). "It's like... you and Brittany. It's not just sex, it's... it's love, S."

That comment really got to her, when I mentioned Brittany and her – it wasn't the same, actually it was far from, because Rachel and I hadn't been best friends since we were kids, and we weren't having sex and sharing sweet lady kisses. What was the same though, was the fact that it was love. Santana loved Brittany, and I loved Rachel.

"Don't worry, Q!" Santana suddenly said, and I was a bit frightened by the sheer intensity of her voice; the determination in her eyes. This was scary Santana Lopez – the girl who would never rest until she pulled through with whatever it was that she wanted. I'd always feared that girl; she was the one who could threaten my status, my head-cheerleader position. Not that that mattered much anymore – I just wanted to have Rachel. "I've got this covered. I'ma get you your girl... I promise!"

I don't know why, but I really believed her.

x

It was all sort of very crazy (and possibly a little bit scary) when I during lunch break – while I was simply minding my own business, hovering around my locker with Santana just to see when Rachel would come back from her lunch and find the card I made – was startled into complete shock when a giant hand made contact with the locker next to mine, just a few inches from my face.

"What the hell are you doing?" I heard a harsh voice hiss out next to me, and as I turned my head slowly around, I came face to face with one Finn Hudson, who was looking down at me like a mad man – he had that vein popping suspiciously on the side of his forehead.

I think I might have gulped a little bit. And Santana just rolled her eyes.

And that was when Kurt came into the picture. "Finn, calm down!" he piped from down the hallway as he caught up with his brother. He had a seriously perplexed look on his gentle face, and this crazy look in his eyes. "You need to think about this Finn! Before you do something stupid... like hitting a girl!"

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Finn hissed and angrily hammered his fist into the locker again. I was beginning to realise what all of this might be about, thus causing me to fear for my life. Gulp! Finn was catching on! "She's the reason we broke up this time! You know it, Kurt! It's all her fault – she's the one who's been leaving things in Rachel's locker – getting her hopes up, making her believe that someone else likes her. Just to break her heart!"

Santana rolled her eyes at him again and carelessly pushed his hand away, "Calm down Puffy Nipples. Why are you freaking out this way?" she flipped her hair in a smart-ass way. "Who even told you this?"

I tried to pretend that I had no idea what he was even talking about. (I don't think I was doing such a good job).

Finn glared at me. "Puck told me! He told me all about you and Rachel! He said that he saw you put things into her locker, and Mike and Artie saw you at the mall with her!" he all but yelled, and there was this little piece of spit hovering in the corner of his mouth, which I found very distracting.

Kurt placed a hand on his brother's arm and tried to soothe him, "Finn, you're being stupid right now. I'm certain Quinn's not doing anything to hurt either you or Rachel."

"But she's stealing my girlfriend!" Finn argued, spit flying everywhere.

I was still just looking at him, unable to say a single word, but thankfully Santana was there with me, because she always had something to say (especially to Finn – she never liked him), "Look Frankenteen," Santana begun, stepping closer to him, thus forcing him out of my personal space (which I really appreciated), "first of all, Berry's your ex-girlfriend. Which means you don't have anything to say about this anymore. And second of all..." she trailed off, hesitating for a moment, before she continued, "Quinn's my girl, and what she wants she gets. It just so happens that she wants the midget, so I'ma get her the dwarf, alright? You and your freakishly long arms can't stop me."

Finn glared at me again, "This is so not okay, Quinn!" he mumbled, "You're not gay, and I swear, if you hurt her, you're going to regret it. Rachel and I are meant to be together, I love her."

"And so do I." I whispered softly, finally saying something for the first time during the course of this conversation. I could literally see Finn freeze and hear Kurt's almost silent gasp as the truth left my lips. Santana was just smiling wickedly next to me, and I clenched my jaw, ready to fight this. "I love her, Finn, and you don't have to like it, but you need to accept it."

"Rachel's not even gay." he said, and his voice was shaking slightly as he looked down at me.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Alright, so she might not be gay. But she likes the things I've been leaving her, which means I'm already miles ahead of you, Finn. You were an awful boyfriend to her."

He looked like he'd swallowed something sour.

Kurt stepped in then, lightly grabbing Finn's arm and pulling him away from me. "Just forget it, Finn," he said, his voice light as usual – but with an edge to it because of the situation he was in the middle of, "you're my brother, but Rachel's my best friend. Just forget it, okay? Haven't you seen how happy she's been lately? That's Quinn's doing..." he glanced softly at me at this point, before looking up at Finn again, "Don't you like seeing her happy?"

Finn's expression softened a little bit, and I could only begin to imagine what was going on inside that giant head of his. But he seemed to realise that perhaps Kurt was right, because he took a step back and turned to me, "Alright..." he said, ducking his head slightly, "If Rachel's really happy with this, then I'll back off, but... you're not her girlfriend, which means she's fair game."

"Fair enough." I said to him, and he gave me a goofy smile, before he turned around and hurried down the hallway.

Kurt glanced at me questioningly, before he turned to follow his giant of a brother down the hall. I watched them until they turned a corner, quite proud of how I'd handled the situation. Leaning against the locker, I heaved out a deep sigh, but froze when I saw Santana's murderous glare. What had I done wrong now? I swear, nothing I ever did was good enough for that woman!

She stomped her foot, "What the hell was that?" she practically shrieked at me (and it was damn funny, because Santana never shrieks!).

"Here I am, trying to get you some hot midget sex, and you totally just give Finn fair game!" she said to me, and I swear, her eyes? They were shooting lightnings.

I grabbed my Spanish books from my locker and softly closed it, "I don't own Rachel. All I can do is treat her better. If that's even going to work, because I'm still convinced she'll hate me when she realises that it's been me all along..." I sighed in defeat. I might as well give up now. And then move to some remote place where I can live among other people who are starving for love, because they're in love with amazingly talented and incredible little starlets who have amazing asses.

Santana rolled her eyes at me. "You're being pathetic!" she said, before she turned around on her heel and rushed down the hallway, her Cheerios skirt flying around her thighs.

"What are you gonna do?" I couldn't help but yell after her. She had that look on her face. That look that just told me she had plans of some sort.

Bending her head slightly to the side as she turned the corner, she only yelled back, "Leave it all to me and Britts, and it'll be done by the end of the day!"

I don't know why that didn't make me feel any better. Perhaps it was because she had this absolutely crazy look in her eyes this time around – and not that saying smile that made me believe her. This time I just... I just feared for myself (and for Rachel, too) and what was going to happen. When Santana and Brittany decided to really do something... it had a tendency to get out of hand most times (all times). I bit my own lip and kicked my foot into the lockers to get some of my frustrations out. Closing my eyes, I told myself to calm down as I drew in shaky breaths. It was alright, it was okay... Rachel didn't have to know that it was me. Maybe Santana's idea would actually be brilliant for once! I needed to stay positive!

It was just so hard when I kept on being negative.

"Quinn?"

I opened my eyes at the sound of Rachel's shy mention of my name, only to find her standing right next to me with wide eyes and plumb kissable lips, looking absolutely adorable in a red t-shirt and one of her usual argyle skirts and knee-highs. Her hair was swept back slightly today – it looked somewhat different, but I liked it. I found myself melting. "Rachel... hi."

She giggled. "Are you alright, you seemed kind of lost for a moment there, Quinn?"

I pushed myself away from the row of lockers and offered her a smile, "Yeah, I was just... you know, thinking."

"About what?" she queered as she turned on her feet and started following me down the hallway with a little bounce in her step. I adored her energy – it was contagious (except for the fact that no one could ever have the same amount of energy as Rachel Berry).

I glanced down at her, and I couldn't help the soft smile on my face – it happened whenever I was near her, she simply did that to me. "About... life, I guess."

"Just life?"

I found myself chuckling lightly at her curiosity – she was like a kid in that way, which made her even more adorable. "And love... I guess." I replied, and just to irk her the wrong way, I made sure to be mysterious about it; and I left her alone with a teasing grin, as I turned the corner to my Spanish class.

Ha! She'd be able to ponder that for the rest of the day.

And I was pretty sure she did, because when I saw her in Glee that afternoon, she was still shooting me weird glances and trying to will me with her eyes to tell her what was going on. But I wasn't going to – I was going to soak in the fact that I was causing her to feel this way for once, instead of the other way around. I mean – she made me think entirely too much about her on a regular basis, so it was only fair that the roles were reversed for once. I couldn't help the tiny flutter of my heart when I saw that she'd tucked my card into her Glee binder either.

If she just knew that it was from me.

Finn was looking at me like he hadn't accepted that fact that Rachel was fair game, and I think that everyone – including Mr. Schuester and Brad, and excluding Rachel – knew of my love for her, which was starting to become very creepy. Santana and Brittany sat down on each side of me with satisfied smirks on their faces (and I tried to decide whether they'd had sex during free period or were up to no good) just as Mr. Schuester clapped his hands together in his usual fashion to begin this day's lesson.

Santana leaned to the side and softly whispered in my ear, "Get ready to get your girl, Quinn Fabray."

"So-" Mr. Schuester begun, "-today we're going to be talking about-"

"So-" Santana interrupted him with an evil grin, "-Quinn wants to perform something!"

Mr. Schuester paused and I turned to look at Santana with sheer panic floating through me instantly, "I do?"

"Yup!" Brittany added, as she nodded her head eagerly and gave me a gentle shove forward, out of my chair, "You know that song you've been rehearsing all the time, Q? You're going to sing it today."

I was pretty much very confused at this point as I wobbled to gain my balance after Brittany's (too) enthusiastic push. "I've been rehearsing?"

Santana sighed heavily and rolled her eyes at me. "You're being silly now, Quinn, of course you have!" she said, and the last part of her sentence was said in such a firm voice, I thought she might have killed me with just her words. She leaned forward and practically threw some sheet music in my face. "But here it is, just in case you've forgotten it..."

Brittany added, "You have been very forgetful lately, haven't you?"

I think my confusion about this matter was pretty clear to everyone inside this room. I could see Kurt shoot Mercedes questioning glances, and Rachel seemed pretty amused with the entire thing, if the hand covering her giggles was any indication at all. I just bent down to grab the fallen sheet music on the floor, and when I looked up again, everyone was watching me with these expectant glances and I just turned to Mr. Schuester and shrugged my shoulder. "I guess I'm... singing..." I trailed off and glanced down to see the title of the song Santana had chosen for me, and immediately wanted to either claw her eyes our or hug her, "Could You Be Mine."

Mr. Schuester gave me a short nod and turned to take a seat on in the back row next to Mike. "Alright... show us what you've got, Quinn!"

I made sure to inform Santana (via death-glare) that I was not amused, before I turned to Brad and stood there for a second, contemplating whether or not I really wanted to do this. It was so embarrassing. I mean – everywhere inside this room (except for the one person of whom it was regarding) knew what this song would be about, who it would be for. And they could all clearly see that I had not prepared in any way, hell, I wasn't even sure I could sing this song properly at all. And everyone knew that if I couldn't sing it properly, Rachel would never give me a chance.

I was starting to panic again. My hands trembled slightly. I was Lucy Quinn Fabray, I wasn't born for this. On the inside, I was still Lucy, the girl who wasn't sure anyone would like her, who was scared of being herself and putting it all out there, because she didn't have any confidence. I might be Quinn Fabray on the outside, but that was just the looks, the faces I put on, the fake confidence. And I couldn't stand in front of my friends and put it all out there. There was the risk that I'd be shot down, and I couldn't handle them all being there for that.

Do it, Quinn! Just do it... Win her over with this song. You want her, don't you? Yeah you do, but... but you're too chicken to do anything about it. You're too afraid that everyone's going to laugh at you, call you names.. tease you for not being able to get the girl of your dreams..

"I can't watch this!"

Snapping out of my (very bad) pep-talk to myself, I turned my head to the side, and – to my surprise – found Rachel standing up. She was looking at me with a soft smile, and before I knew what had happened, she'd crossed the floor and stopped in front of me. She placed her hands gently on mine and forced the sheet paper out of them with a soft chuckle. "I think everyone inside this room knows you didn't really prepare this, Quinn."

I didn't really know what to say, so I settled for a nervous chuckle.

But Santana? She definitely had something to say. "What the fuck are you doing, you Oompa-Loompa!" she hissed, and thank God Puck was quick to reach forward and grab her arm, because otherwise she would have gone completely apeshit on Rachel.

Rachel on the other hand, did a little funny jump backwards, away from Santana, but straight into me. I quickly reached forward to steady her with a hand on each shoulder.

Santana was cursing at her in Spanish. "¡Chica loca!" she hissed while pointing an accusative finger in Rachel's direction, "Here Britts and I are, planning everything, and you two are just so fucking oblivious! You're ruining everything, I swear, I'm never doing any-fucking-thing for either of you ever again!"

"Santana, calm down!" Mr. Schuester butted in, but he was no use (like usual).

Rachel sighed and pulled slightly away from me. She had an eye on Santana still, but her face was turned to me with a soft smile. "Is there something..." she trailed off, "you wanna tell me, Quinn?" she asked me. Her voice was gentle and sweet, and I wanted to tell her every single fucking thing I'd been doing for the past week or so.

I glanced briefly at our class members, who were either watching me and Rachel curiously (hopefully), or trying to control the raging bitch in the room. I glanced back at Rachel then, and the sheer honesty in her eyes made me want to come clean. I had to come clean. But I didn't want to do so in front of all these people, so I reached my hand out and determinedly wrapped her small one inside mine, before pulling her out of the classroom and shutting the door to the mad house behind us. This was not a conversation I wanted everyone to hear (though I could name a few names who'd be – undoubtedly – pressed up against the doors with a very attentive ear).

Pushing a piece of her hair behind her ear, Rachel smiled at me again, "What's going on here, Quinn?"

"I'm in love with you." I blurted out then, because fuck that, I'd wanted to spill those words to her since I realised that I was desperately in love with her. It felt good – like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. There was still the matter of my mother and sister, but I didn't really care about that, not if I could just have Rachel – then everything would seem good for awhile, I was certain of that.

Rachel's response to my confession was quick and right off the bat, "Quinn Fabray, is this true! I'm shocked!" she blurted out, and she had this absolutely scandalous look on her face; her eyes were wide and her jaw was open as she reached her hands up to cover her mouth. But there was this little twitch in the corner of her eye, which made me believe that she, perhaps, wasn't all that surprised.

I licked my lip and straightened up my back, "You already knew, didn't you?"

"A little bit, yeah." she quickly replied and lowered her hands to hang limply by her sides. She had this amused smile on her face, but it wasn't on my expense, I could see that. She was looking at me adoringly, and even though I was mad that – apparently – she'd known and continued to make me woo her, I couldn't help but feel hopeful, because she certainly wasn't pushing me away.

There was so many things I wanted to know (but mostly I just wanted to kiss her – if I could), "How do you even know this?" I asked her, and I surprised myself, because I'd thought that when this time came, Lucy would reappear full throttle, but no, I was Quinn right now, and I was keeping my cool, trying to talk to the girl I loved. The girl I loved.

Rachel's eyes wavered a little bit, before she locked them firmly with mine, "Brittany told me..." she trailed off, "...last uhm... Tuesday?" she grinned.

And I sighed, "You mean the second she found out?" I fired right back at her. And that was just so typical – typical, typical Brittany, screwing this up (with probably the best of intentions) before Santana and I had a chance to really start it properly.

"Pretty much!" Rachel eagerly said and did a funny little jump, "But it's been so much fun watching you be all nervous..." she trailed off and her shoulders sank noticeably as she relaxed, "Do I make you... nervous, Quinn?" she queered.

I drew out a sharp breath; this was now. I'd already told her how I felt, about my love for her, but now I had to explain it even more – I had to come clean about everything. I wasn't sure exactly how much Brittany had said, but I didn't want there to be any secrets between us. "You make me very nervous." I honestly replied, and even though I didn't want to meet her eyes, I forced myself to do it, "Everytime I'm with you, I feel a little nervous."

"Don't." she quickly said as she took a step closer to me and we were practically nose to chin as she looked up, into my eyes, "Don't be nervous around me. I've appreciated everything you've done for me, Quinn. The chocolates, the flowers, the cute little teddy bear." she chuckled and I found myself chuckling along with her, "But you didn't need to do all that with me. The second Brittany told me, I just wanted to break up with Finn, because... because he was never a good boyfriend and you were proving to be so much more. I've always been..." she searched for the words, as her warm hand came to rest on the side of my hip, "...fond of you." she swallowed loudly, "I was just waiting this past week for you to say the words."

I was in this practically comatose state right now; she was so close to me, her hand was on my hip and I could smell her shampoo, and if she just leaned up a little, our lips would brush, and I'm sure it'd be heaven. But I had to answer, I had to pull myself together, "Say what?" I practically choked out.

Her grin widened, "If you wanted to asked me out, why didn't you just say 'I like you! Go on a date with me?'. I would have accepted instantly." she whispered, and if it was possible, I think she came even closer at this point.

I swallowed loudly (too loudly), "But..." I breathed, "I didn't know if you'd like me... so I thought I'd just try to woo you. I mean – Santana said that-"

"Santana says lot of things." Rachel finished for me, "She's been doing one thing and Brittany has been reporting to me. Earlier today I was talking to Brittany when Santana suddenly interrupted us after a talk with you. She could feel that there was something up, so Brittany spilled the beans. After that they... they came up with this new plan for Glee today. I was very against it." she added – just for the record.

Cocking an eyebrow, I let my own hand travel gently to touch her arm, just briefly, before it settled on her waist, "Does it have something to do with the song?" I whispered.

She nodded, "Yes. They gave you the lyrics, and before that, they placed another card in my locker with the lyrics inside of them. I was to pretend that I didn't know, so when you'd sing the song..." she trailed off, and everything started to make a bit more sense to me, "I'd know it was you. Granted, I already did know, but you'd think I just realised it when I showed you the card. Of course you'd believe it was all Brittany and Santana and that I had nothing to do with it, but I couldn't – I couldn't let you put yourself out there without being adequately prepared."

I chuckled, "That's sort of sweet, Rachel." I murmured softly.

"Well I am..." she whispered, and it felt as though she was getting a little bit closer, "sweet."

Brushing her hair back, I nodded in agreement to that. (And even though I was standing right there with her, I had no idea what to do. On one hand I wanted to return to the choir room to maim Brittany and Santana, but there was also this perfect little diva right in front of me, and she was looking all cute and adorable and she was – she was standing very close to me).

Her lips were millimetres from mine when she suddenly blurted out, "Do you perhaps think you want to kiss me now?" she innocently asked me.

I wanted to. Oh God, I wanted to do that so badly. But I couldn't. "I'm scared." I honestly whispered.

"Don't be." she firmly said, before she leaned in completely and closed the tiny space between us. And the second our lips met, I swear, fireworks went off. My entire body seemed to get tingles all over, as her mouth meshed with mine. She was everywhere around me; her scent, her taste, her feathery touch on my body. And as she pushed me slightly up against the wall, I let my own hands travel as I clutched her to me tightly.

She was absolutely perfect.

And somewhere behind us, I heard the door to the choir room open and everyone inside of it broke into joyous cheers of 'finally' and 'thank God'. Rachel chuckled into our kiss, and I responded by pulling her even closer.

Mine.

Thank you so much for the kind reviews for the third part! I'm so happy to read how you're all enjoying this. I'm sorry about the slight delay and the somewhat rusty writing in this part – I've been swamped with work, it's been crazy! I hope you enjoyed this though – it was the last part. Hopefully I'll be back with more Faberry soon, I don't think I can stay away, honestly :)

So. How's everyone like the new season? I quite liked episode two, but not so much Asian F – I was happy to finally get more of Mike on screen, but the diva-off between Rachel and Mercedes was quite disappointing to me. The way that Mercedes acted, and then later the move Rachel pulled on Kurt. I love her, but that was seriously stupid. I think that I just lost practically everything for Mercedes when she said that everyone always wants to protect Rachel. Yes, because she's NEVER been hurt by ANYONE inside Glee. Seriously. She's probably been hurt and ridiculed the most inside that club. Sorry. Rant's over. I just got very upset yesterday when I watched it.

Anyway! Please leave me your thoughts – I'd love to know what you thought of the end.

Disclaimer; I don't own Glee.