This was written for a prompt on Kmeme. It was my first fill and I got pretty good feedback so I decide to post it here. There is a short second chapter that kinda like an Epilogue, so dont forget to check it out.

"Hawke."

"Don't say my name like that Anders, I know where we are going"

"Hawke."

"You too Fenris? I told you I know where I'm going."

"Hawke!" Both men shouted.

"I've been to this mountain several times its okay."

"Hawke, maybe we should stop and look at the map again" Merrill ran in front of him forcing him to stop or run her over in his march forward.

"I guess we could stop for a little." Hawke smiled at the elf.

"What? We've been trying to get you to stop for the last ten minutes and she says one thing and you stop?" Anders started but stopped once he saw Hawke and Merrill searching through his bag of stuff grinning and chatting about whatever it was those two talked about. "And he still doesn't listen to me. Sometimes I feel like no one can hear me at all."

Fenris smirked at the pouting apostate, "What did you say?"

"Oh, haha. Varric would be proud, you made a funny." The apostate turned his gaze back to the now giggling Merrill and to his amazement Hawke who was doing the same. "Okay, that's just disturbing. Since when does Hawke giggle?"

"Since the blood mage moved in with him after he became the champion." The elf was clearly annoyed by that, "Sometimes I think she used her magic to entrap him."

"Not magic, they are just ridiculously in love. Maker knows they have had eyes for each other since they met." Anders smiled and moved closer to whisper in the elf's ear, "Besides I'm a mage and I didn't need any kind of magic to entrap you."

"You did not entrapme, mage. I chose to stay by you."

"Which makes it so much better." Anders smiled gently and Fenris couldn't help but smile back, it had been along time since he had seen a real smile on his lover's face. His lifted his hand to lie on Anders' cheek, rubbing his thumb along the stubble. Those amber eyes watched his curiously and with a hint of amusement. Their moment was interrupted by Merrill's laughter as Hawke started to tickle her.

Anders moved away and chuckled, "Come on, they look like they will be busy for awhile."

Fenris followed him up the cliff a ways until they couldn't see or hear the other two, "Where are we going?"

"Away from the cute couple so I can do this." Anders wrapped his arms around the elf's waist and pulled him as close as the spiky armor would allow. Fenris recognized the motion and draped his arms on Anders shoulders without even a second thought. Anders smiled before pressing their lips together as the elf did the same. Neither were in a hurry, content to just be together. After a few chaste kisses Fenris pulled away enough to speak but stay in the apostates grasp.

"You wouldn't do this if we were back in Kirkwall."

"What do you mean?"

"I have not seen you smile in months." Fenris ran his hand through blonde hair careful not to hurt the mage with his gauntlets. "You have been even more invested in your clinic and manifesto then normal."

Anders sighed, "We have been over this love, I need to do this. I can't be distracted when so many of my kind are being brutally mistreated."

"Then is it because we are with Hawke that you choose now to rest?"

"No, I don't know. Maybe it is cause I am out of the city and couldn't work even if I wanted to. Hawke told me I wasn't allowed to bring paper with me this time." Anders smirked, "Then again it could be seeing Hawke and Merrill so happy together made me remember I have my own exceptionally attractive elf to ravish."

"They remind you of us?"

"Well less cute and more… romantic"

"Romantic?" Fenris chuckled at that one, "You told me you did not know whether to 'kiss or kill me' then said I was 'everything you hate'. That is not what most call romantic."

"So that wasn't one of my best lines but you pissed me off that day."

Fenris smirked and started kissing along the mages jaw, while his hands unbound the tie in Anders hair. Anders pulled their bodies even closer and rested his head in Fenris' shoulder before slowly breathing the comforting scent. "Anders?"

"All joking aside, I really do love you Fenris. You're the only thing keeping me even somewhat sane and I'm not just saying that cause your lyrium calms Justice… Because of you I have someone who is always waiting for me that I have to get back to at night so I know I can't loose myself. Without that I wouldn't have much need to oppose Justice when he tells me to rid myself of all distractions and focus only on my work. I give myself to my cause wholeheartedly but I also give myself to you."

Fenris didn't bother responding with words; he pushed the mage against a tree and crashing their mouths together, hard. Anders moaned as teeth clanged and their tongues battling for dominance. He was addicted to this feeling and to the taste of his elf and it wasn't just the hint of lyrium drowning his senses; everything he associated with Fenris was incredibly addictive. The markings that were now glowing softly in pleasure attested to Fenris feeling the same way.

He pulled Fenris flush against him and reversed their position pushing the elf against the tree instead. Fenris didn't seem to mind; he submitted to his lover and was desperately running his hand roughly through blonde hair, and the exposed skin of his neck.

When they pulled apart to breathe Anders continued kissing down the slender neck exposed to him. Fenris pushed his hips against the mages and practically growled when he felt teeth digging into his skin, claiming him. It had been too long since they were intimate like this and their movements were fast and sloppy but neither cared.

Unfortunately that was when Fenris heard the faint sound of footsteps and slowed down his rutting to listen. Anders had apparently not heard the sound because he just grunted at Fenris' retreat and bit harder.

"Ah, Anders wait."

"I can't, it's been too long Fenris. I want you now." The desperation in his voice almost made Fenris forget about the coming danger. Another footstep however made him remember fast enough.

"No, listen. Someone is here watching."

"So what, it's probably the Dalish no one else would be out this far."

"No I would not be able to hear a Dalish, its armor." Fenris pushed off a now annoyed Anders. Whoever the intruder was, he was not accustomed to silence that much was obvious. Once he heard the bow string being pulled back, he tightened his grip on Anders and pushed them both away from the tree.

Anders yelped in surprise when he was thrown aside. When he realized what was happening Fenris had already chased after the perpetrator and he was left looking dumbfounded at the arrow now lodged in the tree.

"It's slavers, no doubt after me. We have to get back to Hawke. Now." Fenris marched out of the bushed with his right arm covered in blood, thankfully he used his other hand to grab Anders' arm and drag the apostate along. Said apostate sighed and broke into a sprint along side his lover.

While on route he noticed the ache in his arm where that arrow had apparently nicked his skin. He absentmindedly waved some healing magic over it but was caught off guard when the wound rejected his magic and left his hand stinging. That never happened before, but before he could actually investigate the cause he heard Hawke shouting.

"Anders! Fenris! There you are, we were attacked by slavers and you two were nowhere to be seen."

Fenris took off into the fray of battle right away leaving Anders to answer, "Sorry Hawke, we are here now." He quickly cast haste on everyone before switching to offensive spells.

Hawke gave a battle cry ignoring Anders and ran his way through a group of five men grinning the whole time. No one would believe Anders if he told them that less then an hour ago this same man was giggling and tickling his elven lover. Then again no one would believe Merrill a blood mage with her stumbling innocence until they all saw her do it. She was up the side of a hill casting hexes on various enemies to slow them down for the two warriors below.

Higher up the hill still they heard orders being shouted, "Focus on the slave! Dead or alive, the magister doesn't care he just needs the lyrium!"

"I am not his slave!" Fenris bellowed and activated his markings to start tearing through adversaries faster. He was glad to see the person who yelled the order get a fireball to the face. He looked over to his mage who smirked at him before fending off the opponent in front of him.

This fight should have been a simple matter but more and more slavers came as back up and the majorities were obviously after Fenris. Danarius must have hired every slaver in the Free Marches to come after his lost property this time.

Fenris was getting frustrated at the continued onslaught and had to resort to swinging his sword with one hand and using the other to phase through attackers to his side. The strategy seemed to work for a while, but he was tiring and being pushed away from the others.

"In the shadows, assassins!" Hawke yelled cutting down another foe. He could see Fenris being separated from the group but he couldn't do anything about it with so many men around and Fenris could handle himself so he ran towards the two mages fighting together instead.

Fenris heard the warning and turned around also phased his arm, ready to strike down anyone trying to flank from behind. However he was met with a smirking rogue who thrust his blade through the phased forearm. It should have gone straight through without causing damage but to Fenris' shock his lyrium marking abruptly stopped and his arm became corporal again in time to see the blade force its way through his entire forearm. He shouted in pain and pulled away his now bleeding arm.

"Fenris!" Anders shouted just in time to see the same assassin take advantage of the stunned elf's lack in defense, and run the same dagger he used before through Fenris' body.

Fenris' world slowed in confusion while his mind tried to alert him something was wrong, that there was a blade now buried in his abdomen. He heard Anders voice cry out but could not distinguish the words from the loud heavy breathing of every person that surrounded him. He tried to look down to see the damage but his movements seemed lethargic and it annoyed him that his body responded to the impact almost immediately by clenching his wound and staggering back, while his conscious mind couldn't even make sense of what happened. Once he did lay eyes on the hilt of the dagger, the pain finally caught up and he screamed in agony falling to his knees.

"No! Don't you dare!" Anders abandoned his position and ran into the fray of fighters, focused only on the falling elf.

"Shit." Hawke grunted grabbing Merrill and followed killing anyone who tried to take advantage of Anders disregard for his own safety. Merrill used her magic to blast away everyone still surrounding Fenris.

Anders reached Fenris first and knelt in front of him. Fenris reached his hand out grabbing the feathered shoulder before him as hard as he could. The mage winced at the tight grasp but was more concerned about the profusely bleeding wound in his stomach. On closer inspection, he could see it had not pierced all the way through like he initially thought but it was still life threatening if not healed, "Fenris? Love, come on talk to me."

"Anders…"

Anders could hear Hawke and Merrill still fighting but by now the slavers numbers had to be dwindling. "I have to pull this out before I can heal you."

"Do it." Fenris coughed out, tensing his body for the coming pain.

Anders clutched the knife with one and pulled Fenris' head to rest on his collarbone with the other. He tried to talk Fenris into relaxing but it soon became apparent none of his words were making it through. When he did yank the dagger out, Fenris moaned in pain. Anders immediately activated his healing magic but when he tried to seal the wound his hand was forced away with surprising strength. He unintentionally reeled back and yelped, his whole arm felt like it was on fire.

Hawke caught Fenris before he felt forward to the ground, "What happened? Why didn't you heal him?"

"I tried, I don't know what happened." Anders held his arm willing the burning sensation to die down. "It's like his body not only rejected my magic but attacked it."

"How is that possible? Its never happened before when you healed him." Hawke looked at Fenris who was looking paler by the second and covering the hole in his abdomen. "Shit, Anders he's not looking so good."

"He's bleeding out, quick get some kind of bandage." Anders took Fenris from Hawke's arms, this time laying the elf's back to his chest. He covered Fenris' blood covered hand in his own pushing on the wound prying it would help to slow the bleeding even a little. His other hand was still shaking but it went to work undoing the buckles on Fenris' breastplate.

Hawke came back with cloths and Merrill this time; apparently the battle was over now. "This is all we have, they must have found our bag because all our poultices were crushed and useless. Even the Injury kits were taken."

Anders stopped what he was doing and stared at Hawke, "If I can't heal this wound it will kill him and now your telling me we don't have poultices or any way to stitch the wound closed!"

"If we could figure out what stopped you from healing him, maybe we could fix it." Merrill spoke quietly. She knelt next to Fenris and pulled the last clasp on his armor and helped carefully pull it off of him and out of the way. Anders moved Fenris' hand away from the injury enough to get the cloth in place so he and Merrill could wrap it.

Anders tried to calm himself enough to think. Merrill was right if he could just figure out what caused that response... "The arrow!" He looked at the cut on his arm, it had reacted the same way, "quick find the dagger."

"I feel sick…" Fenris attempted to speak but it came out more like a whimper.

"Shh I know, I'm here love, nothing is going to happen while I'm here." Anders felt like he was lying and cursed himself because he knew that didn't sound convincing. He couldn't even properly comfort his lover who was bleeding out right in front of him.

"Damn it!" Hawke yelled in frustration once he got a good look at the dagger. "It's enchanted, all of these weapons are enchanted."

"Enchanted? With what?" Merrill asked, he didn't answer right away.

"With what Hawke!" Anders yelled.

"Magic resistant runes, I've seen Sandal use them before but never this strong." He looked desperately at the bleeding elf, "I don't know how he did it but someone that bastard magister created completely magic resistant runes."

Anders froze, if that was true…

"Hawke, does that mean?" Merrill asked dreadfully.

"The cost alone would be incredible to make but to enchant every weapon? I didn't think he would put this much into capturing Fenris. But it explains why his lyrium cut out on him when he was stabbed in the arm." Hawke sighed, "and it means Anders magic is useless against anything cut by these blades."

"No! I refuse to believe that!" Anders shook his head and activated his magic again. This time he pooled together twice the magic a wound that size would require, determined to prove Hawke wrong. However as soon as he released it into Fenris' body his whole arm felt the same stabbing pain. He still refused to let up and ignored the pain pushing even more magic into his spell. Waves of magical energy filled the air and the force against him increased and left the mage trembling in effort.

"Stop." Fenris breathed out grabbing the shaking arm. "Anders, stop…"

He stopped as Fenris wished but from the scowl on his face showed how frustrated he was. He was a healer above anything else; it was in his blood to heal and prevent suffering. Now he sat there with the man he loved in is lap dieing and he was completely powerless to stop it. He couldn't remember a time in his life he had ever felt this useless.

Hawke put a comforting hand on Anders shoulder as if reading his thoughts. "If we could get him a poultice will it be enough to save him?"

"It would close the wound enough to be able to move him. From there we could take him back to Kirkwall and see if Sandal could reverse this. Or at least get the proper materials to sanitize and stitch the wound." Anders said quietly staring at Fenris who was looking back at him, "But you said there were none here, and we are lost somewhere in the mountains."

"I know the basic direction we went, I can run back to Kirkwall and come back with help." Hawke turned to Merrill, "Your clan should be in this area too. You can search for them, Keeper Marathari will be able to help." She nodded quickly.

Hawke knelt to Fenris' side, "How long?"

"Hours? Without help… he wont see the sun rise again." The mage pulled Fenris tighter into his arms and rested his head in the snow-white hair pathetically.

"Okay." Hawke looked at to the horizon, the sun was already setting. "I will be here before the morning breaks, I swear to you Anders."

"Fenris." Hawke took Fenris' hand, "We are going to get you through this. You're a part of our little family in Kirkwall, and I refuse to loose any of you, you guys are all I have left. You hear me? Besides you still have your revenge to think about. That bastard will not get away with what he did to you, especially after this."

Fenris nodded in acknowledgment so Hawke stood and shared a look with Merrill before both of them ran off. Hawke down the mountain towards Kirkwall and Merrill up towards the Dalish.

Anders watched them go before directing his attention to the elf in his lap, a sad smile on his lips. He had concerns about Hawke finding his way to Kirkwall as lost in the mountains as they were but he didn't want to voice them. So instead he busied himself by running his hand through Fenris' hair and hoped for the best.

"It took us all day to get here, how will he get there and back in time?" Fenris said after a long silence between slightly labored breaths but Anders was pleased to hear him speak a whole sentence again.

"It's Hawke, you know he pulls off the impossible all the time. This will be easy for him, you'll see its all going to be okay."

"You keep saying that. Your constant reassurances just make me worry more."

"I'm sorry love, I just don't know what to say or do. I feel so useless."

"You are not useless."

Anders smiled sadly, "You're the one injured here and your trying to make mefeel better?"

"Not useless." Fenris said stubbornly and gave a weak smile in return.

Anders watched his love's face until the last bits of light vanished from the sky. "I'm going to grab something to cover us, it's going to get cold out here fast." He carefully removed himself from Fenris and went over to what was left of their bag. Just like Hawke had told them, the poultices were all destroyed and crushed into the ground. None of the mixture was even salvageable. That seemed to be all they were after though, the canteens were still there. The fabric he used to wrap wounds, and the blankets were still in one piece as well, "Thank the maker for small mercies."

He hurriedly returned to Fenris and tried to think of how to proceed. Where they were was an open space that had dead bodies that would likely attract animals soon; not to mention now was not the best time to be surrounded by death. The problem was moving Fenris very far.

"Fenris, we have to leave this area. I hate to risk irritating that wound but we are in danger out here." Anders placed the blanket over Fenris and with his consent positioned his arms under his knees and upper back.

He tried jolting him as little as possible while he stood; the elf slung his good arm over the mage's shoulders and leaned into him. Anders walked just enough to get out of the opening but still stayed close enough for Hawke or Merrill to see them when they came back here.

He leaned Fenris against a rock when he set him down and went to work removing what was left of the amour covering his arms. The lyrium was eerily quiet, and the mage pondered the exact effect that those runes had on the markings. Hawke said they resisted magic, which does answer why Fenris' phasing ability cut out, but the lingering effects were unexpected. He was going to ask Fenris what he thought but when he looked up at his tired and pained expression he thought better of it.

He used some of their water to wash off most of the blood covering the wounded forearm before starting to wrap it. Fenris hissed in pain when he tightened it but he knew it was best to ignore it in order to finish the job sooner, and lessen the pain overall. He may not be able to heal Fenris magically but he could at least take care of him physically. He refused to sit around doing nothing.

"You should drink some water, I'm going to have to find something that you can eat." They had packed light for this trip and planned to catch their food, since Sundermount usually had an abundance of wildlife. It was a decision Anders now regretted, since he would have to search for the food himself. However before he could stand his coat was grabbed weakly.

"Don't… please, don't leave me here alone." Fenris pleaded, holding the sleeve tighter. "please…"

The fear and vulnerability in his voice destroyed Anders, he wanted nothing more then to hold Fenris as close as he could and cry but he knew he couldn't; instead he gently embraced the elf and choked back a sob, "I'm sorry, I won't leave. You wont be alone. I'm sorry."

Fenris returned the embrace as best he could and they stayed like that until Anders noticed the slight tremors overcoming the elf's body. "Fenris? You're shaking, what's wrong?"

"It's cold…"

Panic filled Anders, inability to stay warm was a latent reaction to blood loss; Fenris shouldn't have been that far along yet. He quickly put his hand against Fenris' forehead and it was clammy like he feared. At some point the elf must have broke out in a cold sweat and he hadn't even noticed. He was the healer he should have recognized the severity of the symptoms immediately. For the second time that night he had to force his tears down.

He didn't trust himself to speak while his emotions were in so much turmoil. Instead he pulled the elf forward and slid in behind him, readjusting the blanket to cover them both, and using a controlled fire spell to start a small blaze. He wrapped his arms around Fenris, trying to warm him the best he could.

Fenris appreciated the warmth and focused on it rather then the dulling pain. It made him uncomfortable how distant his pain seemed now and how scattered and dizzy his thoughts were. "I… I love you Anders."

That's what did it. A tear finally got past Anders guard, followed by another then another. "Don't you dare start talking like that! Don't you dare say goodbye! This isn't over!"

"I… I'm afraid…" Fenris spoke softly "I don't want to die…"

"You wont. I wont let you." Anders cried and murmured reassurances into the elf's ear and held him as close as he could. Even Fenris couldn't stop the tears running silently down his face.

Hours had passed like that but there had been no sign of Hawke or Merrill and Fenris was getting worse. His once tan skin was sickeningly pale, the shivering had returned as well as the cold sweat, his eyes were losing focus more often, and his heart rate was climbing.

Anders had gotten frustrated enough to try magical healing two more times, both ending in failure. They both had stopped crying awhile back but neither had tried to speak. Subtle and comforting touches were enough.

Fenris was the first to break the silence. "I need to ask a favor…"

"Anything, love."

"I have a sister in Tevinter." His sentences were broken up and slightly slurred but Anders was patient and listened closely. "I have been writing her. She remembers me, but has said little else. In my last letter I asked to meet her. If she writes again and agrees, please, I want you to meet her. Tell her of the life I have lived in Kirkwall if she asks, and anything else she wants to know."

"No, you're going to meet your sister in person. And when you do I'm going to be right beside you. You can ask her whatever you want and reclaim the past you want so badly." He said firmly. "Just stop talking like that. Hawke is going to get here in time, he swore to me he would."

Fenris wasn't sure he could believe in that promise like Anders could. "You sound so sure."

"Because I am sure. I have to be." Anders looked to the sky, the moon had well passed the center of the sky already and was on its way west, "I can't go on without you, maybe Justice can, but I can't."

"What do you mean?"

"I've lost so much of myself along the way: my family and freedom to the circle, my blood and dreams to the wardens, and my time and independence to Justice. Everything that has ever mattered to me has been taken away from me. You're the last light in my life. So when Hawke swears he can save you, I have no choice but to believe him."

Fenris didn't answer he just turned his head and lightly kisses the mages jaw. Anders got the hint and curved his head the rest of the way so their lips could meet. Fenris' lips were so cold and their kiss lacked their usual passion but the desperation and love were still there. Fenris lifted his uninjured arm and ran his hands though blonde hair. He licked Anders bottom lip, silently asking for more. Anders readily complied and was happy to find that even though the elf's lips were cold, his mouth was still just as hot.

"Tell me your real name." Fenris whispered once they broke apart for air.

It was an odd request but Anders didn't question it. "I honestly don't remember it. I lived in the Anderfels until my father sold me out to the Templars; I was 8 years old then. The Templars who took me were from Ferelden and couldn't pronounce my name; I doubt they cared to try, so they called me Anders instead. When I reached the tower I was scared and didn't talk to anyone. The First Enchanter tried to get me to talk but I didn't know common tongue very well so no one could understand me even when I did. The apprentices eventually did like the Templars and started called me Anders. I guess the name stuck since I didn't object to it."

"You didn't speak common tongue?"

"No, Anderfels is a poor and cold farmland country. Most of us never leave it so common tongue isn't needed there."

Fenris had to think hard to understand what the mage was saying. He felt so very lightheaded suddenly and his vision was getting blurry again "So neither of us know our real names? That is… somehow fitting."

"Fenris?" Anders could tell something was off, and when the elf's eyes closed and his body relaxed he couldn't help the dread from sinking in. The sun hadn't risen yet, it was too early still.

"No! Don't be dead, please!" Anders desperately checked for a heartbeat. It was still there but slowing. He panicked and started shaking the elf, "Come back to me, come on! Hawke isn't here yet, you have to hold on! Fenris!"

Fenris grunted and opened his eyes again but they were distant, "I… I'm so tired…"

"I know, I know you are but you cant sleep yet. Please, just keep your eyes open." Anders pleaded. He was crying again but didn't care.

"I'll try…"

"I love you so much Fenris. You're doing great. You're going to get out of here. You're going to see your sister, and get your revenge on Danarius." He kept talking and repeating things but he couldn't control it. Fenris probably couldn't even make out what he was saying anymore but he couldn't stop talking. "I love you."

The next hour continued like this. Fenris loosing consciousness again and again while Anders sobbed and talked through his tears. Fenris had lost the ability to speak along the way instead murmuring when he could. They held onto each other as best they could. Anders started praying to the Maker as he watched the moon got closer and closer to the horizon.

He knew Fenris was only holding on for his sake. He was making Fenris live a painfully slow death but he couldn't let go yet. They had to wait for sunrise. Hawke swore he would be here before morning breaks. They couldn't give up until he was here.

"Just a little longer…"

"Aaandrr" Fenris choked out.

"I'm here." Anders gabbed Fenris' hand and pulled it against his cheek. The elf squeezed his hand as much as he could and looked up again. Anders could see the acceptance in those eyes. Fenris had accepted when Anders could not. His time had come but he was reluctant to leave Anders alone. This would destroy the mage and they both knew it, but his eyes were so tired. The eyes that from one look could say all that.

"I…I am… sorry…"

"I love you, Fenris… I love you so much…" Anders wept for his lover but eventually returned the look of hesitant acceptance. He did not wish to torture the elf more then he had, Fenris had made it to sunrise and that was all he could ask of him.

Anders didn't look away when the life slowly left those green eyes he loved so much. Didn't stop holding his hand when it lost its grip. Didn't stop listening to those last labored breaths. He kept watching even as the sun finally broke through the skyline and the rays of light touched Fenris' face. When his heart finally stopped.